


when you're close i feel the sparks, takes me higher, to infinity

by endofdaysforme



Series: i'm learning to live, i'm trying to be better [1]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: BDSM, Collars, F/F, Please read the author's note!, Smut, also i've had this in the back of my mind since i read a similar fic for another fandom, anyway i hope you guys like it, but like...yolo, it's gonna be A LOT more emotional, this is probably not gonna be as sexual as you guys think, yeah we're going there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-08-21 09:57:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 164,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16574312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endofdaysforme/pseuds/endofdaysforme
Summary: she takes a deep breath in before lifting the lid slowly, her eyes landing on the black leather before her with wide eyes.her red painted nails skim over it softly, fingers still shaking as they move to brush the inside of it.the transition is barely noticeable, but it’s there, the feel of leather fading into lambskin before her fingers move to the small circular metal ring in the middle that keeps it all together.a collar.--aka, cheryl's lost and confused and unsure of what she's feeling or how she should feel, and maybe she just needs something or someone to make her feel in control.enter toni topaz.





	1. she has no one

**Author's Note:**

> I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE THE INSPIRATION FOR THIS CAME FROM, BUT IT'S THERE.
> 
> the first chapter is short and a little bit of a teaser, so there's that. also some notes: this takes place after season one, and everything is canon except for a few things. those being:
> 
> -the burning of thornhill never happened  
> -polly and jason were never a thing, as betty and cheryl are aware that they're cousins and kind of grew up together  
> -heather and cheryl never happened, either  
> -cheryl's attempted suicide is still canon, but in a completely different way than drowning in the lake, it'll be explained in a later chapter  
> -there was no tape and the serpents were not involved in jason's death at all, clifford simply killed his son and sheriff keller did some good detective work to figure it out  
> -jughead never went to riverdale high and has lived on the southside his whole life, but is still good friends with archie and is dating betty
> 
> also, most of them are eighteen as i kind of refused to write this fic without them being of age, and are in their last year of high school. it probably doesn't make sense for it to be like that, but uhhh riverdale doesn't make sense either so *shrug emoji*
> 
> this is going to be pretty explicit bdsm stuff, but like uh...also very emotional? TONI IS SOFT, PEOPLE. it's going to be dom!toni and sub!cheryl, but it's also not going to be at the same time? like i said, toni is soft and is gonna help cheryl heal first because she's amazing and pure. <3
> 
> anyway, sin, this is all sin, here's the first teaser chapter, enjoy, i'm gonna go hide in a bin now, BYE.

it’s almost staring at her, resting on the bed, unopened and untouched as it has been for the last two hours.

 

cheryl blossom stares at the package before her feeling restless and hesitant, her bottom lip well and truly chapped and bruised from the amount of times she’s sunk her teeth into the flesh since she came home from school two and a half hours ago. 

 

thank god her mother wasn’t home. cheryl has no doubt that her mother would’ve opened the package before her despite clicking the ‘discrete’ option when she purchased the damn thing online. 

 

penelope blossom was anything but understanding of privacy. especially when it came to her daughter.

 

she reaches out with a shaky hand to brush over the top of it before she pulls back instantly, inhaling sharply and cursing herself under her breath for even buying the damn thing in the first place.

 

it didn’t make sense.

 

her whole life, she’s been tethered to someone or something. when she was a child, it was her parents, her mother and father putting on the perfect face of loving and doting guardians who cared about her and her twin brother, jason. they would hug them close and tuck them into bed at night, press kisses to their brows and tell them how much they loved them day and night. 

 

until cheryl and jason turned six, and it became clear to them after years of observing their children like they were goddamn labrats that jason would be the one to take over the family business when he grew older.

 

after that, cheryl was left in the dark as jason was groomed to perfection, every second and every minute of every day dedicated to making sure he was a well-oiled machine, ready to push forward and bark orders and run things smoothly so that clifford could retire peacefully. 

 

and cheryl? well, what did it matter what she did, or how she was raised? as long as she was well behaved, penelope and clifford didn’t care. 

 

which is exactly why cheryl did everything she could from the age of six onwards to push the boundaries her parents had set her. hissing back words with bite, laughing derisively when they tried to make her do something she didn’t want to do, each slap to the face, each nail biting grip of her bicep made cheryl feel _alive._ because at least they paid attention. for those five seconds where penelope would raise her hand and strike her, or clifford would yell at her, cheryl felt like she was finally getting the attention she deserved.

 

it’s insane and disgusting and probably the most fucked up thing for a child to think, but that’s just how it was for her.

 

it hurt, but it showed that _they cared._

 

of course, however, those moments were fleeting, and cheryl found herself tethered to jason for comfort instead. jason, who would brush her hair back and press a kiss to her brow as he iced the bruise on her cheek, or cleaned the cuts on her wrist from her mother’s nails digging so harshly into her skin. 

 

“you shouldn’t want this, cheryl. stop forcing them to hurt you. just _obey._ ”

 

_obey._

 

cheryl doesn’t like obeying. doesn’t like rules, doesn’t like being told what to do. but still, she would sniffle and nod and bury her face into jason’s neck as he rubbed consoling circles into her back every single time. 

 

it’s _hard._

 

it’s been almost a year now since jason was killed, almost a year since it was revealed that clifford blossom’s little maple syrup business was nothing but a front for a drug cartel, almost a year since clifford discovered that jason knew his secret and had decided to kill his own son to keep his business afloat. 

 

the blossoms were nothing short of fucked up. cheryl knows it. the whole town of riverdale knows it. 

 

doesn’t make it hurt any less.

 

clifford and jason were both gone now, and cheryl still finds herself smirking at how weak her father was to take his own life. 

 

perhaps he knew that prison was an environment he couldn’t survive. either way, cheryl doesn’t care. because the harsh truth is sitting right in front of her in a small package that’s been waiting for two hours to be opened.

 

she has no one to tether herself to now.

 

ever since clifford and jason died, penelope had all but disappeared. cheryl had made the executive decision to move herself and her nana from thornhill to thistlehouse, the memories inside that awful manor too fresh for her to bear the pain of walking through the halls without seeing jason in every single one of them. penelope had agreed to the move, but she hasn’t stepped foot in thistlehouse for months now.

 

cheryl doesn’t know where she is. doesn’t necessarily care, either…but now she’s lost another tether. as abusive and horrible as her mother was, she was still someone cheryl _had_ until she didn’t.

 

and cheryl can’t go and tether herself to her nana rose. the woman was old, senile and batshit crazy. and now, she was in a respite home at penelope’s request, the both of them too exhausted, shouldering too much pain to care for the old woman themselves.

 

essentially, cheryl lives alone in the small cottage of thistlehouse that’s still big enough to probably house over seven people.

 

such a big home for such a small person to live in.

 

she _hates_ it. she hates everything about this situation, but it’s the situation she lives in, and she can’t escape it.

 

she's _alone._ probably has been her whole life, but it's never been more prominent than now, and it makes her want to scream and cry and throw things and chuck a tantrum because she hates being alone.

 

she just needs a _tether._ something to hold on to, something to fucking _live for._

 

but god, this? this can’t be the solution.

 

cheryl licks her lips and quickly slides her fingers under the tape, peeling it from the cardboard box and relishing in the sound it makes as the lid pops open once the pressure from the tape is gone. 

 

she takes a deep breath in before lifting the lid slowly, her eyes landing on the black leather before her with wide eyes.

 

her red painted nails skim over it softly, fingers still shaking as they move to brush the inside of it.

 

the transition is barely noticeable, but it’s there, the feel of leather fading into lambskin before her fingers move to the small circular metal ring in the middle that keeps it all together.

 

a collar.

 

it feels stupid.

 

it also has her heart racing and her palms sweating as she swallows thickly and finally pinches it between her fingers to lift it out of the package.

 

it’s surprisingly light, despite the heavy material it’s made out of. cheryl wets her lips, tongue poking out between perfect white teeth before she lifts it up to eye level and simply _stares._

 

it’s beautiful.

 

it’s _hers._

 

but why does she even have it? what’s the use of a collar with no one to give herself to? what’s the use of a collar if it doesn’t mark her as someone else’s?

 

part of her thinks that maybe this collar can just be _for her._ can just be something for her to wear to feel in control, because god, there hasn’t been a day in her goddamn life where cheryl’s felt in control.

 

her parents owned her until they didn’t. jason helped her move through life robotically until he was ripped away from her. 

 

cheryl doesn’t know what it means to be _free._ and yes, a collar is probably the last thing that should make her feel that way, but just feeling the leather under her fingers is giving her a sense of _something_ , and she hasn’t felt that feeling in over a year now. 

 

is it a stupid purchase? yes. is it likely a waste of money? yes. 

 

does cheryl regret it?

 

she's not sure.

 

she hesitates, her fingers moving to the clasp of the collar, the buckle that rests at the back of it. it’s small and thin, could easily pass for a fashionable choker if people didn’t look long or hard enough at it, but her red locks will keep most of it hidden regardless, so she isn’t worried. 

 

people already thought she was damaged and crazy, did it really matter if they knew the true implications behind this? 

 

a collar.

 

_god, cheryl, what are you thinking?_

 

she brushes away the sound of jason’s voice, ignores her mother in the back of her mind telling her this was deviant or wrong or disgusting.

 

she knows it is. it’s not like she hasn’t done her research.

 

cheryl spent _weeks_ looking up collars, cringing when all she came across was websites for dogs and cats. she’s not an _animal_ , that wasn’t the purpose of all of this.

 

what was the purpose? maybe cheryl isn’t exactly sure just yet, but all she could think about when she first started looking was finding a way to keep herself to the ground when it felt like everything else was so up in the air.

 

she lost her twin brother. she lost her father. the business that her family held in such high esteem was nothing but fraudulent and disgraced. her mother may as well have died too, and her nana was no longer able to tell the difference between a spoon and a fork. the fortune left to her by her father was dwindling having to pay for her own groceries and petrol and food and everything else...and yes, she was still getting money from the business now that it was being run _properly_ by some other family members who lived in greendale, but it still wasn't enough to keep up with the entirety of the blossom estate which her mother still had to pay bills for.

 

she’s lost _everything._

 

but even so, right now, staring at the collar, despite the fact that fuck, it does make her feel just a little bit more calm, more in control, she also can't help but just feel a little…insane.

 

she doesn’t have someone to give this collar to. she doesn’t have someone for her to wear this collar proudly for. isn't that the point of collars? it's meant to be there to signify ownership over someone. and god, cheryl doesn't even have ownership of herself despite her entire family either dying, disappearing or losing the plot entirely.

 

so right now, staring at it...it’s just that. a collar. 

 

it has no meaning. no tether, no person, no purpose. 

 

god, she’s an _idiot._

 

cheryl sighs in frustration and drops the collar down into the box, placing the lid back over it before grabbing it and throwing it under her bed unceremoniously. 

 

an impulsive purchase. nothing more, nothing less. it can collect dust along with everything else she’s bought on a whim.

 

she throws herself down onto her bed with a heavy sigh, blinks away her tears and tries to focus on what she does now.

 

make herself dinner. run a bath. do her homework. go to bed. wake up, go to school. rinse and repeat.

 

a routine. 

 

she hates routine, but it’s the only thing keeping her sane right now.

 

at least, as sane as she can be, considering she bought a fucking collar for herself without even understanding why she was doing so.

 

she feels like she should talk to someone about this, but who is there to talk to? veronica, although being one of her good friends, was attached to the hip to archie andrews, unable to peel herself away from her boyfriend for a single second. betty was also a big fat no. despite the fact that they were cousins, her and betty haven’t ever really gotten along much. she was just so...perfect. all american girl next door and it irritated cheryl to no end. and it's not like betty's ever tried to extend a hand of friendship to her. even when cheryl accepted her into the river vixens, she barely got a thank you.

 

cheryl’s neck itches, the hairs on the back of her neck standing when she realizes that even her extended family who went to the same school as her didn't give a damn about her. she clenches her fist and reaches for her phone to distract herself, a breathy and angered sigh escaping through her teeth as she unlocks it and goes straight to her messages.

 

josie was an option…but cheryl doesn’t exactly know how she would even start a conversation like that. how does she even begin to explain what she’s _feeling_ when she has no idea herself?

 

she has no one.

 

tears prick at her eyes once more, one roguishly escaping the side of her eye and falling into her hair, and she quickly wipes it away before her phone buzzes in her hand.

 

veronica.

 

**veronica lodge [18:26]**  
_hey, archie and i are going to be holding a welcoming committee of sorts for the new southside high students tomorrow. i know you’re not exactly happy about it, but did you want to join us? xx_

 

fuck.

 

cheryl licks her lips, fingers hovering over the glass screen of her phone to type a reply. 

 

the southside high students. they were enrolling at riverdale high tomorrow after the school was shut down due to toxic fumes from the teacher who apparently ran a secret drug lab in the basement.

 

cheryl’s never given the southside much thought. she played the perfect role of pissed off student when it was announced that the southside high students would be attending riverdale high now, but the truth is, she doesn't much care. her mother and father had banned her and jason from ever going there due to the criminal and poverty stricken nature of the other side of riverdale, so it's never been something her mind has dwelled on.

 

_“you’re never to go there. the scum that lives there will surely infect you with something sinister. be cautious, especially of those goddamn snakes.”_

 

there’s no doubt in cheryl’s mind that some of the students from southside high were southside serpents. it goes against everything her parents said to her.

 

her reply comes easily.

 

**you [18:28]**  
_but of course. i’ll be there bright and early at seven! xo_

 

cheryl doesn’t like rules. doesn’t like being told what to do.

 

besides, she was always in the mood for a little chaos…let the rumors of her welcoming the southside high students with open arms reach her mother’s ears.

 

maybe then she’ll drag herself back home to no doubt beat cheryl black and blue, but again…at least she’ll be _paying attention._

 

veronica’s reply comes through, a simple thank you with a kissy face emoji that cheryl smiles at before she forces herself to get up out of bed with a grunt to make herself dinner.

 

the collar stays hidden beneath her bed untouched for the rest of the night, her thoughts only turning back to it when she’s pushing her hand underneath the elastic waistband of her underwear to bring herself to a rushed climax.

 

she lets herself be loud, moans and whimpers as her fingers rub harsh circles down onto her clit and her hips buck up off the bed wantonly, and when she crashes back onto the mattress, a gasping and sweaty mess, she thinks about the leather and lambskin item resting beneath her bed morosely.

 

_she has no one to tether herself to._

 

she forces herself not to think about it further, pushes away the desire to reach under her mattress to just look at it _one more time_ , blinks away her tears once more by burying her face into her pillow and letting herself crash into a restless sleep. 

 

she’s alone.

 

and if she’s buying collars and trying to find someone to latch onto, maybe it’s for the best.


	2. risk it all for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: suicide mentions
> 
> the response to this has been like insane, omg haha! thank you guys for all the comments, i'm glad you're liking it so far! i hope you're not upset with how much has been changed from canon, i gave a small list in the notes for the previous chapter if you didn't see it, but to be honest, they're minor things in comparison to this story because the other characters aren't going to play much of a part i don't think? this is going to be very toni/cheryl centric, so a lot of the chapters are going to be just the two of them alone, especially later on when they establish...some things. *grin face* there's some important shit in this chapter, especially in the beginning, so pay attention! it's absolutely integral to cheryl's storyline in all of this.
> 
> anyway, here's the next chapter, i hope you enjoy it! let me know what you think!

before the tragedy that befell the blossom family just over a year ago…before the murder of jason blossom at the hands of his father, clifford…before everything in cheryl’s life had fallen apart, her family had been held in the highest of esteems in riverdale.

 

they were the top one percent of the top one percent. the richest family in riverdale, not only in money, but in beauty and class as well. they didn’t bother with such things that were below them, raised their noses at the middle class, utterly scoffed in disgust at the lower class, and refused to even acknowledge any class below that. the poverty stricken. the poor, as her mother would put it.

 

cheryl still remembers the day she had gone out shopping with her mother to pick out a dress for some fundraiser a few years back at the mere age of fourteen, had watched her mother grip her purse tighter and scoff in disgust as they passed a few older gentlemen with southside serpent jackets clinging to their shoulders proudly, one of them lighting a cigarette and blowing the smoke into the air with a loud, belched out laugh that had penelope gripping cheryl’s bicep harshly to tug her closer.

 

“disgusting, vile, _deviant_ behavior, cheryl! if i ever catch you with a cigarette in your mouth…cigarettes are for the poor and the dirty, cheryl, do you hear me?” 

 

“yes, mommy.”

 

four years later, cheryl blossom pulls into the parking lot of riverdale high at six fifty five in the morning with a cigarette hanging loosely from her lips, her red manicured nails reaching up to clutch the little cancer stick between her index and middle fingers of her right hand as she places her lips around the filter. she digs into her purse with her left hand until her fingers curl around the small rectangular zippo lighter, and she tugs it out of it’s small pocket and flips it open with a flourish, her foot still firmly on the brake of her chevrolet impala as she flicks the wheel and watches the spark of fire ignite on the wick.

 

cheryl blossom doesn’t like rules, doesn’t like being told what to do. she has no doubt that if penelope blossom was aware of what she was doing right now, she’d have bruises strong enough to keep her marked for _weeks._

 

but cheryl hasn’t heard from her mother in about a month and a half now, so she’s not exactly stressing out or worried about whether or not the woman is lurking around the corner. she’s eighteen now, which means penelope has absolutely no hold over her, thank god. she can beat cheryl black and blue until her hands are bruised and bloody if she wants, cheryl can simply pack her bags and leave and penelope won’t be able to do a thing to stop her.

 

perhaps that’s why she’s left cheryl to her own devices for the last few months since she came of age. if that’s the case, cheryl would’ve put more effort into her eighteenth birthday party…not that inviting the entire student body of riverdale high for a party at thistlehouse hadn’t exactly been a subtle celebration of her new status as ‘legal adult’, but if she had known that penelope would all but disappear from her life as soon as it happened, she would’ve thrown a party big enough to capture the attention of the entire town, not just her fellow classmates.

 

the end of the cigarette burns cherry red as she sucks in the toxic fumes and flicks the cap of the lighter down to extinguish the flame, shoving it back into her purse unceremoniously before she puts the car into park and pulls the handbrake up, turning the ignition off a moment later and ignoring the ash that falls from her cigarette as she opens the door and moves her feet to the asphalt beneath it. 

 

her heels click almost obnoxiously onto the ground, her leg muscles working to push her out of her seat as she nudges the door shut with her hips, her hands occupied with a cigarette and her purse. 

 

“my, my, cheryl bombshell, don’t you know that smoking kills?” 

 

cheryl grips the edge of her sunglasses and pushes them up to her forehead before looking up to see veronica lodge standing at the entrance of riverdale high, the happiest of smirks on her face as she skips down the stairs with her high heels clacking on the concrete with every step loudly. cheryl sighs and takes another drag from her cigarette with a simple shrug.

 

“we all have to die one day, veronica. with those southside high students coming in, maybe our days are numbered from now.” she drawls with all the façade of someone who actually gives a shit about any of the southside high students.

 

it’s all for show, really. cheryl couldn’t care less about these southside high kids joining riverdale high, but she has a reputation to uphold.

 

she doesn’t own a shirt that says’ bitchy’ for no reason. 

 

“if you’re so against them coming here, why did you agree to be part of the welcoming committee, cheryl?” veronica sighs, her eyes heavy with fatigue, most likely at cheryl’s antics, and the red haired girl finds herself simply shrugging as she finishes off her cigarette before throwing it to the ground and grinding the tip of her heel into it. 

 

“what better way to discover who will fall into place and who will cause trouble? the first few moments of any encounter with a new person are crucial, veronica. first impressions are everything.” 

 

“if that’s the case, then why the hell are we such good friends? i’m pretty sure we got off on the wrong foot when we first met.” veronica says with a chuckle, following cheryl as she begins making her way up the stairs to the entrance of riverdale high with a flip of her red hair over her shoulder.

 

true…she and veronica hadn’t exactly had the best of first meetings last year when veronica had transferred to riverdale high after moving to the quaint little town from new york. veronica had tried out for the river vixens with betty cooper, claiming that they came as a package deal and that if cheryl didn’t accept betty, then veronica wasn’t going to be joining, either. she had given some impassioned speech about her specialty being ice, honestly, cheryl had only been half listening and had only refused betty a spot on the vixens to spite her, but she couldn’t afford to lose veronica, because truthfully, _she was good._ therefore, betty cooper officially became a cheerleader and has spent every day since then causing a headache the size of a continent to build at the back of cheryl’s head whenever she was forced to witness her flounder around like a gazelle with no co-ordination whatsoever.

 

veronica and cheryl’s friendship had only truly begun to bloom when they were thrown together for an english assignment, and despite her friendship with betty and her nauseating relationship with archie andrews, cheryl still considers the girl a close friend. 

 

“i guess we’re just a special case, ronnie. now, tell me what it is exactly that you have planned to welcome these misfits.” 

 

the next forty five minutes are painstakingly boring. veronica walks her through what she’ll be doing, which is apparently giving the new students a tour of the school and letting them know about the extra-curricular activities they can sign up for, something that has cheryl rolling her eyes because she highly doubts any of the southside high students will want to sign up for anything that doesn’t involve them fighting or causing trouble. the school slowly begins to fill out with students as the seconds tick by, cheryl ignoring, as usual, the whispers and the stares that are thrown her way by every second or third student she walks past. 

 

it had taken her awhile to adjust to the change. she used to rule this school with fear and intimidation, would strike, with an iron fist and a wicked tongue, any and everyone who dared question her or challenge her. because her family was held in the highest esteem, was the top one percent of the top one percent, had a reputation of being narcissistic and cold, particularly cheryl, to any who watched her walk through the hallways with her red hair billowing behind her and her head raised high…

 

but when your twin brother is killed by your own father, you tend to try and meld yourself into the wall to avoid the shame and embarrassment that such an act brings upon you. overnight, she descended down the ranks of popularity, became the girl that everybody whispered about, to her face and behind her back, a question of how her father could commit such an act, how she could live with herself knowing that her own father killed her twin brother…

 

now, she was avoided. now she was like a disease, a plague that everyone steered clear of lest they get infected with the curse of cheryl blossom. the curse of losing your entire family within the blink of an eye with absolutely no way of stopping it from happening, a helpless observer to the cavalcade of horror and terror as it came in crashing waves to rip her life apart. 

 

part of her doesn’t mourn the loss of her status so much. she finds it easier, no longer being at the top of the food chain. she wasn’t as sought after anymore, could easily hide in the back of class and do her work quietly without anyone trying to invite her to some party or ask her why she had chosen to wear a particular shirt on that day, or what shampoo she used to get her hair to look so shiny and sleek…

 

she was left alone. and it was…peaceful.

 

but it was also lonely. and it still didn’t stop the stares and the whispers, no longer in praise or awe, but in shock and confusion as to why.

 

always a question of why. why did her father kill jason, why did he stoop so low as to kill how own son? 

 

because he was a selfish man and a horrible person, cheryl wants to scream. because he wasn’t the snobby, upper class gentleman the entire town of riverdale believed him to be, the entire thing an act, a façade to hide his true nature. drug king pin, criminal, self-absorbed, hideous, abusive _wretch_ of a man who cheryl had still collapsed onto her knees for with a loud wail of grief the second she found his body hanging from the banister in the barn with sheriff keller right behind her the night he was supposed to be arrested for jason’s murder.

 

he must’ve seen it coming a mile away and decided to end his life himself.

 

how can cheryl begin to answer the question of ‘why’ when she herself didn’t have all the answers? she saw the real clifford blossom for who he was, but even she will never understand how he could kill jason without a single second of hesitation, the son he had spent years grooming to take over his business.

 

god…it’s just tiring. everything was so… _exhausting._ if cheryl had a choice, she’d head home to thistlehouse right now, draw herself a bath and likely sink under the depths of water until her lungs burned for air and she was on the precipice of unconsciousness. she’s just sick of it all…she’s sick of trying so hard to be so strong, to go through every day with the knowledge that her father killed her brother, that she had no one left in her life to talk to, to seek comfort from, no one who understood her or took the time to want to, no one who _cared_ enough about her to put time and effort into helping her get through something so fucking traumatic, it’s a wonder she’s still standing on her own two feet.

 

her fingers almost subconsciously brush over the scars on the inside of her wrist, small in width, but deep and jagged in depth, a wince taking over her features as she comes to a stop in front of her locker and takes a second to rest her forehead on the cool metal, inhaling deeply and closing her eyes to allow herself a second of peace. 

 

a moment of weakness, yes, she allowed herself that after everything that had happened…she keeps the scars hidden quite well, not a single person in her life aware of them, and it only causes tears to prick her eyes when she finds herself pondering if it’s because she’s good at hiding them, or because no one cares enough about her to check for them. 

 

it’s the latter, of course it is…after all, she had woken up alone in the bathroom covered in a small pool of her own blood, weak and crying and barely able to stand, had been forced to wrap her own wounds and stop the bleeding while her phone lay on the ground beside her, not a single notification from anyone asking her how she was holding up, or if she was okay…

 

_get over it, cheryl. you’re alone and you always have been, stop mourning company you never had._

 

“hey, a horde of motorcycles just showed up, they’re almost here.” archie andrews’s voice echoes out across the hallway, causing cheryl’s head to snap up with a sniffle. she wills away the tears as veronica waves her over, and she squares her shoulders and exhales deeply through her nose before she follows archie toward his girlfriend, her nose wrinkling in disgust when he takes her face into his hands and presses a chaste kiss to her lips. 

 

“okay! remember, cheryl, please no comments about them being southside scum. behave.” veronica says sternly with a raised eyebrow. cheryl rolls her eyes, but raises a hand as if taking an oath.

 

“you have my word.” she drawls in a bored voice before she’s scraping dirt out from under the nail of her thumb, and veronica sighs before she turns to face the entrance of riverdale high, her whole body taut with anticipation.

 

a few moments later, the doors swing open, and cheryl’s not at all surprised to see that the first person to walk through is jughead jones. cheryl barely knew anything about him other than the fact that he was dating her cousin and that alice cooper didn’t approve of him for a single second, betty’s relationship with the boy causing a rift between her and her mother that cheryl has no interest in at all, to be quite honest. 

 

she’s seen him only a handful of times at pop’s when he’s been on dates with betty, that hideous beanie atop his head making him stick out in the crowd like a sore thumb even more than the serpent jacket on his shoulders that cheryl can see he’s wearing proudly now, a smile on his face as he walks through the hallways of riverdale high with a trail of students following behind him.

 

cheryl can’t help the scoff of disbelief that escapes her at the sight of these students following him like a herd of sheep. jughead jones, a leader amongst snakes? sounds fake. 

 

veronica simply gives her a look before she turns to face the students that continue walking through, and that’s when cheryl’s eyes land on three figures that are walking separately from jughead and his crowd of serpents.

 

a tall boy with a mop of unruly dark hair stands in the middle, his dark eyes narrowed in caution, but the smirk on his face undeniable as he looks around the halls of riverdale high in wonder. he’s wearing a black shirt and a flannel beneath his own serpent jacket, ripped jeans and combat boots with multiple rings covering his fingers and a cigarette held in place behind his ear. 

 

beside him to his left, another boy, short black hair gelled back, his brown eyes a lot kinder than the boy’s in the middle, but still filled with tension and all the attitude of someone you know you shouldn’t fuck with. he’s built slightly stockier than the boy in the middle, biceps bulging out of the sleeveless vest top that also has the green snake etched on the back of it, and cheryl can see the rips in the white top he’s wearing beneath it, his jeans washed out and his boots thudding on the tiled ground loudly with each step he takes.

 

and then…to the boy in the middle’s right…

 

a small, petite girl, her height almost laughable compared to the two boys beside her, the top of her head barely reaching the chest of the boy in the middle…brown hair spattered with pink throughout that falls in soft curls down her back and shoulders, a few sections braided as her piercing brown eyes look around the school in wonder. the perfect curve of a slender nose and rosy pink lips that purse together in what cheryl suspects is nerves as beautiful caramel skin shines and shimmers underneath the fluorescent lights that hang and flicker above them. a grey crop top, shoulders unseen, covered by the black leather of a serpent jacket, but the small sliver of an abdomen exposed, revealing a belly button piercing and more dark skin that has cheryl’s hand twitching for reasons unknown to her, a red flannel tied around a slim waist and denim shorts that cover flawless legs, but leave _so much more_ exposed…the purposeful sway of her hips with each goddamn step she took...

 

_oh…my god._

 

cheryl’s eyes land on her combat boots, and for some reason, she finds herself smirking despite herself.

 

were combat boots a serpent thing?

 

the girl’s eyes land on the smirk on her face, and cheryl feels her entire body tense up almost immediately the second their eyes meet. but instead of the anger and confrontation she’s expecting, the girl simply raises an eyebrow at her and smirks back, her arms suddenly moving up as she crosses them over her chest and gives cheryl a view of full breasts being pushed up beneath the crop top she’s wearing.

 

cheryl finds herself swallowing thickly, and she can fucking _feel_ the heat rising in her cheeks as jughead comes to a stop in front of archie with a wide grin at the sight of his best friend.

 

“long time no see, arch.”

 

“pretty sure you slept over yesterday, jug.” archie says with a light laugh.

 

cheryl blocks out the conversation completely, because it holds no interest to her and benefits her in no way, her eyes landing once again, on the three people who stand apart from jughead’s crowd to the far left of the group in front of them.

 

the girl is still watching cheryl, her brown eyes observant and almost gazing into cheryl’s soul, and despite the fact that she’s cheryl fucking blossom and she’s never intimidated by anyone, she finds herself avoiding eye contact, her eyes moving over to archie and jughead despite the fact that she’s not hearing a single word they’re saying.

 

she can feel the girl’s eyes boring into the side of her head, and her palms are beginning to sweat, her tongue poking out to wet dry lips before veronica claps her hands excitedly and breaks her out of her stupor. 

 

“on behalf of riverdale high and all its students, we would like to welcome you all to your new school! we’ll start by giving you the grand tour, as well as letting you know all the extra-curricular activities that riverdale high has to offer!” 

 

veronica looks at her expectantly.

 

cheryl takes a deep breath in before she’s looking to veronica with a simple smile.

 

“actually, something’s come up…it looks like you’ll have to give the grand tour. sorry, veronica.” cheryl ducks down to grab her purse from the ground as veronica looks at her first in disbelief, than anger, brown eyes blazing with cheryl’s betrayal.

 

not that she cares.

 

cheryl ignores it completely, and takes extra care to sweep past the three figures standing to the left of her, barely making contact with the girl as she makes her way toward the entrance and pulls out her pack of cigarettes, taking one out and placing it between her lips before she’s pushing the door to the entrance open and stepping outside. 

 

like she said, first impressions are everything.

 

and she _does not_ want that girl thinking she has any kind of sway or hold over cheryl goddamn blossom. yes, she may have caught cheryl a little off guard because god, she was _beautiful_ , but that’s it. nothing more, nothing less.

 

oh, if only her mother could see her now, a blushing, flustered mess over the sight of a pretty girl…

 

_that’s enough now. stop thinking about her._

 

her sexuality is something she’s forced herself not to dwell on, but in that moment, watching that girl walk through the doors of riverdale high with that careless, rebellious attitude…

 

she was a troublemaker. cheryl could tell. she had to be with that southside serpent jacket hanging so proudly off her shoulders.

 

she’s never wanted to dive headfirst into trouble more. 

 

cheryl would be lying if she said she ever felt any sort of attraction for any of the males at her school. whenever veronica gushed about how handsome archie was, cheryl would take a moment to stare at him, curious brown eyes observing his chiseled jaw, his heavy brows and his wide smile and she’d feel…nothing. when josie would fake laugh and punch reggie mantle on the chest lightly in a flirtatious manner after some hideous joke he’d made, cheryl would find herself asking why she was bothering to do so. the man was dumber than an oaf and had half the brain of one, too. 

 

she’d also be lying if she said her gaze hasn’t lingered for a few moments on the way veronica’s legs just _look_ during vixen practice, the way the flesh would jiggle slightly with each move she made before her thighs would tense up and the muscles beneath them would show, would be lying if she said her heart didn’t skip a beat at the sight of it, at the sight of josie’s breasts bouncing as she raised her hands and cheered, or the way ginger flipped her hair as she did a cartwheel, cheryl too busy staring in awe to reprimand her for the way her legs always land just a little too much to the left…

 

she had shoved all those thoughts away, had refused to acknowledge them for the longest time because she was _afraid._ if her mother already hated her for being the unwanted child, the second to jason, always the goddamn _fucking_ second to her perfect son who now lay six feet under in the blossom cemetery, then cheryl knew it would be nothing compared to the hatred she’d bear for cheryl if she knew she liked girls. 

 

it would move beyond bruises and slaps, and cheryl’s quite sure she’d find herself buried right beside jason in an unmarked grave if penelope blossom were ever to discover her dirty little secret.

 

but after losing jason and her father and after everything that’s happened, cheryl doesn’t really give a fucking shit anymore. what was the point in caring, about wanting to please her mother when her mother a) hated her and b) was never home, anyway? it was useless and pointless and cheryl’s tired of living her fucking life for other people. and yes, perhaps right now she was lost and confused and scared and million other things, but of that, she’s never been more sure.

 

and that girl…god, that girl was someone cheryl was willing to _risk it all for._ she was beauty beyond compare, she was a sight to behold, a goddamn sight for sore eyes, she was…

 

a breath of fresh air.

 

cheryl’s neck subconsciously itches, and her mind wanders to the collar hidden beneath her bed in thistlehouse. 

 

_oh, cheryl…_

 

cheryl somehow manages to flick the wheel of the lighter without any problems despite how sweaty her palms are, finger shaking slightly as she moves the flame over the tip of the cigarette dangling between her lips. 

 

she didn’t even know the girl’s _name._

 

“shit.” cheryl murmurs, brows pinched in anger at herself for not doing the tour and learning the girl’s name herself. she could’ve spent an entire twenty minutes with her showing her around the school and instead, she high tailed it out of there without a backward glance. what was she thinking?

 

_an idiot, cheryl, you’re a complete and utter fool-_

 

“so…what do you smoke, red?” 

 

the voice is gruff, definitely too low not to be a boy’s, and cheryl lets out a shaky breath and watches the way the smoke curls up into the sky before she turns her head slightly to see the tall serpent boy who stood in the middle of the girl and the boy making his way over to her, his fingers reaching up to clutch the cigarette behind his ear with a lopsided smile slowly stretching onto his face the closer he gets to her.

 

“marlboro.” cheryl says simply, taking another drag from the cigarette as the tall boy chuckles and places his own cigarette between his teeth with a nod.

 

“wouldn’t have taken you for a smoker. you look too prim and proper and shit.” he mumbles around the filter, his fingers reaching for a box of matches in his pocket. he takes one and scratches it against the side of the box quickly, raising the lit match to his lips and lighting his cigarette before shaking it quickly to extinguish the flame. 

 

“you don’t even know who i am.” cheryl says, blinking rapidly in surprise at the fact that this boy was even talking to her. 

 

why was he here? why wasn’t he on the tour with his friends?

 

“no, but my friend wanted me to check on you. she said you looked a little spooked when we walked in. i’m guessing you think the serpents are all greasers waiting to pound you northside knuckleheads into the ground, huh?”

 

cheryl doesn’t reply.

 

she…he definitely said ‘she’…

 

“don’t worry, we don’t pick on the pretty ones.” he says, giving her a wink as he takes a drag from his cigarette.

 

cheryl throws her half done one down to the ground and squashes it beneath her heel before she’s making her way back up the stairs without looking at him, and the boy scoffs before he calls out to her.

 

“my name’s sweet pea, by the way!” he yells. 

 

“i don't care!” she yells back without looking at him. she vaguely hears him laugh loudly before the door shuts behind her, the smell of tobacco clinging to her hair and clothes as she quickly makes her way to her locker and opens it.

 

she grabs her perfume from her purse and sprays herself a few times before shoving her whole purse into her bag and grabbing her english book just as the bell rings loudly above her.

 

she tries to force herself to erase all thoughts of the boy named sweet pea, of the girl with the pink hair, but she barely pays attention for a single second in english, her mind too occupied with thoughts of pink, chapped lips and equally pink strands, and god, what it would feel like to run her fingers through those soft curls…

 

_you don’t even know her name, cheryl…_

 

veronica, of course, marches over to her at lunchtime in the cafeteria and demands an apology, and cheryl gives her a half assed one with a smile, which causes the latina to huff and grumble, but cheryl’s attention is immediately taken by the southside serpents who walk in and stalk their way over to the table at the far right corner of the cafeteria, jughead leading the charge. when she doesn’t spot the pink haired girl or her two lackies with them, she frowns and excuses herself, jumping up from her seat and making her way to her locker instead to grab her cigarettes as she bites into an apple on the way. 

 

she throws the half eaten apple out as soon as she’s outside, and that’s when she spots them.

 

gathered around their bikes, the three of them, the pink haired girl laughing as she sits on the seat of her bike with her legs crossed over each other, her head resting in her hand before she’s placing the cigarette in the other hand between her lips to take a drag.

 

cheryl watches the way those pink, chapped lips caress the filter, full and plump and _god_ , so enticing…watches her cheeks hollow slightly as she inhales before the grey smoke plumes leave her mouth in tendrils that curl up into the air and fade way too quickly. 

 

_you don’t even know her name, cheryl._

 

she’s scared to learn her name. she’s already obsessed at this point, learning her name will surely only make it _worse._

 

she licks her lips, but doesn’t take a step toward them, chooses to stay close to the doors as she takes a cigarette from her pack and lights it up with her back turned to the serpents before her.

 

“we don’t bite, you know!” 

 

it’s a voice she’s familiar with, but not the voice she _wants to hear._

 

cheryl feels her back immediately straighten up, her shoulders tensing as she rolls her eyes and turns slowly to see the three serpents watching her.

 

the pink haired girl’s eyebrow is raised, watching her in anticipation, and god, those _eyes…_

 

cheryl has no idea what she’s thinking, but she watches those eyes move down her body before they move back up to her eyes, and she tries her hardest to keep her composure despite the fact that her legs feel like jelly.

 

_you’re cheryl blossom, for fuck’s sake, walk over there and crush them under your six inch louboutins!_

 

cheryl flips her hair over her shoulder and simply raises a hand, giving them a little wave as she smirks, and she watches the pink haired girl blink in surprise before she’s mimicking her, hand lifting to wave back with an equally shit eating grin plastered on her face.

 

_gotcha._

 

“you finally gonna give me your name, or what?” the boy named sweet pea calls out, a plume of smoke escaping his nose as he talks.

 

and somehow…out of fucking _nowhere_ , cheryl feels something akin to fire burn inside her.

 

because cheryl blossom doesn’t like being told what to fucking do.

 

_fuck it._

 

her heels click obnoxiously on the concrete stairs as she makes her way over to them, lifting her cigarette to take a drag with a lopsided smile, and the boy named sweet pea grins at her approach, leaning up off his bike to get closer to her.

 

clearly he didn’t understand her when she said she wasn’t interested. 

 

perhaps it’s time she makes it clearer to him.

 

she rests a hand against his chest and pushes him aside lightly, barely throwing a glance his way before she comes to a stop right in front of the pink haired girl, her bright red six inch louboutins mere inches away from the tip of her black combat boots.

 

the girl’s eyes widen before she sits up straighter on the bike, clearing her throat as she looks cheryl up and down once more before she’s smiling and placing the cigarette in her hand between her lips once again. 

 

“i’ll give you my name if you give me yours.” she says, eyes boring into the pink haired girl's, voice low and filled with so much seduction, she’s mentally giving herself a fucking high five right now, especially when she sees the way the girl’s eyes widen once more before perfect white teeth are clutching a plump, full bottom lip to hide a smile. 

 

“antoinette topaz. but my friends call me toni.” 

 

 _oh god,_ her fucking _voice…_

 

it was hoarse, a perfect mixture of deep and high, raspy in nature, or perhaps a result of the tobacco currently invading her lungs and sabotaging her voice box, but either way…god, it _dripped_ sex appeal.

 

cheryl has to physically stop herself from squeezing her thighs together. 

 

her name was antoinette…toni for short. 

 

_antoinette…toni…_

 

it continues in her mind like a chant, both names bouncing around her head like an unwanted chorus from a song, and god, cheryl was right, it only made her infatuation with this girl so much _worse-_

 

“your turn.” toni says, her voice barely above a whisper. cheryl’s tongue darts out to wet dry lips, pink tongue resting on her cherry red bottom lip for just a beat longer before she’s lifting her cigarette to her lips and taking the final drag of it, red lipstick smudging the filter in a perfect circle.

 

“cheryl blossom. but my friends call me bombshell.” 

 

a sharp inhale of breath.

 

_you’ve got her right where you want her, kid._

 

“cheryl…” toni rolls her name around those perfect lips, tongue curling on the ‘r’ and resting on her bottom row of teeth on the ‘l’, and cheryl wants to hear her name uttered again and again like a prayer from that mouth, that _voice-_

 

_for the love of god, get some semblance of control, please!_

 

“don’t wear my name out, toni, i’d hate for it to lose it’s appeal to you.” she gives her a seductive smile despite the way her stomach is turning as she throws her cigarette to the ground and stubs it out. 

 

toni scoffs before she’s leaning off her bike and standing, and it’s quite comical, really, how short she is, but in terms of stature and personality, she may as well be standing eight feet tall above the red haired girl before her. 

 

“i don’t think that’s gonna be a problem, _bombshell._ ”

 

wow.

 

cheryl has _nothing_ on this girl. no game, no charisma, this girl was a fucking enigma on the playing field of flirtation and banter, a bomb ready to go off without warning-

 

“uh, we’re still here.” 

 

cheryl jumps slightly at the sound of a voice beside her, blinking rapidly before she looks to her left to see the boy named sweet pea watching her with his arms crossed over his chest and a frown on his face. 

 

ugh. _men._

 

“i can see that, you’re kind of hard to miss with all that height of yours, jack and the beanstalk.” cheryl drawls. 

 

the boy to the right of her laughs loudly as sweet pea’s cheeks turn red, his jaw clenching in anger, but before he can say anything, cheryl turns her attention back to toni and gives her a simple wink.

 

“i’ll see you around.” 

 

she turns on her heel and makes her way toward the school just as the sound of the bell signifying the end of lunch echoes loudly out to them from the hallways of the building, making sure to sway her hips purposely, and god, she can almost _feel_ toni’s eyes watching her ass before her voice cracks through the air. 

 

her neck itches once again before-

 

“you better, bombshell!” 

 

_you’ve got her right where you want her, kid._


	3. a lonely girl with a pretty face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry guys, ao3 is freaking out on me, hopefully this comes up properly rip
> 
> we're getting close to the other stuff i promise, just one more chapter of bonding and then we're gonna dive in! thank you all so much for the support so far and i hope you guys enjoy this chapter! let me know what you think!

“antoinette topaz?”

 

“it’s toni.”

 

cheryl bites back a smirk at the frustrated sigh that escapes the pink haired serpent behind her as miss hathaway frowns and looks down at the paper in her hands before chuckling.

 

“ah yes, i keep forgetting…”

 

“you sure do.” toni mutters. cheryl grins despite herself, but focuses her eyes back down on the book atop her desk in front of her all the same.

 

she waits for this moment every english class, waits for toni’s name to be called and doesn’t even bother to ignore the shiver that runs up her spine at the sound of it. 

 

it’s been two weeks now since the serpents began attending riverdale high. two weeks since cheryl discovered that she and toni share history and english class together. two weeks since cheryl’s spoken a single word to her.

 

two weeks since cheryl’s touched that collar still hidden in its box beneath her bed. 

 

not that the two are related at all.

 

they’ve shared glances, small moments where their eyes meet and cheryl forces herself to look away without giving any kind of indication of how fast her heart begins beating or how sweaty her palms get every time those brown eyes meet her own. but other than that…nothing.

 

cheryl refuses to be the one to make the first move for a multitude of reasons.

 

first and foremost, she’s cheryl blossom. she doesn’t _make_ the first fucking move. if someone’s interested, they come talk to her so she can shut them down quicker than lightning and just as thunderously loud as it, too. 

 

and secondly, how can she be sure that toni even _likes_ her? 

 

sure, they had shared flirtatious banter on her first day two weeks ago, but that was it. it’s hardly grounds for believing someone might be into you. hell, even though cheryl’s quite sure she has never and will never have any sort of attraction to reggie mantle, she still sometimes found herself flirting with him after a few drinks at parties to simply pass the time. 

 

flirtatious banter is meant to be fun. it’s not an indication that there’s anything more than attraction there.

 

miss hathaway begins rattling off about the book they’re currently reading for english, _‘the maltese falcon’_ , of all things, and the entire class is a goddamn snooze fest, but near the end of it, cheryl’s attention is taken by the sound of a pencil scratching on paper behind her. 

 

god, even hearing toni do something as simple as write something down is a distraction to her-

 

a soft tap on her shoulder.

 

oh.

 

cheryl purses her lips and waits for miss hathaway to turn to the chalkboard before she leans back in her chair with a sharp inhale, her neck turning only slightly to see chipped black nail polished fingers holding a small piece of paper out to her. 

 

she frowns and licks her lips almost subconsciously before she turns her head the rest of the way to see toni staring at her, eyebrow raised and a smile playing on her lips as she nods at the paper in her hands.

 

cheryl stares at her for a beat longer before she’s rolling her eyes and taking the paper from her hand.

 

their fingers brush together, and cheryl tries to ignore the spark of electricity that starts at the base of her spine and moves all the way up to top of her neck. 

 

toni topaz is not having an effect on her, cheryl refuses to believe it.

 

she opens the paper, spreads it out on top of her desk and reads, in a messy scrawl of letters-

 

_**“heard there’s a party at chuck clayton’s house tonight…are you going, bombshell?”** _

 

cheryl frowns before she simply turns in her seat and gives toni a small nod. the pink haired girl’s grin is wide before the bell rings loudly, and before cheryl can move, toni’s jumping out of her seat and suddenly leaning in close until her mouth is right next to cheryl’s ear.

 

“guess i’ll see you there, then.” she whispers. cheryl barely manages to hold back the shiver that explodes up her spine at the sound of her voice in her ear, and it doesn’t even hit her that chuck clayton sure as hell did not invite any of the southside high kids to this party of his before toni is walking past her, throwing a glance back at cheryl with a smirk as she dashes out of the door before anyone has even gathered their books up yet. 

 

cheryl’s frozen in her seat, still trying to calm her heart down from the sound of toni’s voice in her ear, so low, so seductive, so filled with power and energy that cheryl’s never felt before in her life…

 

where the hell did this girl come from? and why the hell did cheryl spend so much time away from the southside when girls like toni topaz existed within it?

 

_why was i cursed with such snobbish, nightmarish parents?_

 

“cheryl, what are you doing? we’re gonna be late for practice, come on, girl!” josie mccoy’s hand on her shoulder causes her to jump before she’s looking up at the dark skinned girl and smiling in an attempt to abolish the confused look in her eyes.

 

“yes, sorry...guess the book gripped me more than i thought.” 

 

it’s a good enough excuse, cheryl thinks. _‘the maltese falcon’_ was such an astonishing tale about deception and thievery, it’s right up cheryl blossom’s alley…

 

her whole life has been nothing but deception and thievery. living the perfect lie of having parents who loved her, discovering that even though she tried so hard to believe her parents had _good_ in them despite their abuse and torture, all her attempts had been futile, because they were nothing but pure evil.

 

after all, what man shot is own son in the head all to keep his business and his empire afloat?

 

her mother stole her innocence, her self-love, her pride, and her father stole her brother, the only source of love and comfort she had right from under her. yes, _‘the maltese falcon’_ was right up her alley…

 

josie raises an eyebrow, but says nothing more as she walks with cheryl out of english class towards the gym for cheerleading practice.

 

“i’d ask you if you’re going to take it easy on us, but i don’t think there’s been a single practice where you have.” josie says with a chuckle. cheryl simply cocks an eyebrow and makes a stop at her locker, shoving her english books inside before grabbing her purse.

 

“life isn’t easy, josie. it’s a bitch, and so am i. go on, i’ll be there in a moment.” she says, absentmindedly grabbing her cigarettes from her purse. josie simply gives her a disapproving look at the sight of them before she’s skipping her way over to the gym, and cheryl finds herself staring at her in awe for just a few moments before she shakes her head and expels the thoughts of what josie’s body would _feel_ like against her own.

 

she can’t help herself. but it feels wrong, dirty almost, to be looking at her friends in any sort of sexual way. she can’t be blamed, she’s a teenager after all and her hormones are all over the place, but they trusted her to be civil around them as the captain, not that any of them knew about her sexuality, and yet cheryl found herself spending most of her time during cheerleading practice watching them in wonder and lust like some kind of pervert. 

 

it makes her feel guilty, contaminated…disgusting. and even though deep down she knows there’s nothing wrong with being gay, years of hearing her mother and father scoff in disgust at the very mention of homosexuality and all it’s “sins” has made her develop that strong self-hatred despite how hard she’s tried not to.

 

swallowing the lump in her throat and blinking back tears, she makes her way to the entrance of riverdale high, pulling a cigarette out of the pack in her hands before reaching into her purse for her lighter. 

 

smoking has become her escape, and as much as cheryl hates the smell of tobacco that clings to her hair and clothes every time she lights up the little cancer stick, even though she’s promised herself time and time again that she’ll quit, she can’t help herself from driving to the nearest gas station to buy another pack every single time she’s smoked the last one in her current pack. it’s an escape, a moment for her to spend alone with her thoughts despite how much they irritate and upset her.

 

well, it _was_ a chance for her to escape and have a moment to herself…

 

as soon as she’s out by the entrance, watching the other kids without cheerleading or football practice make their way to their cars to head home, she finds herself staring at none other than toni topaz herself, smoking a cigarette as well by the entrance with not a single one of her goons in sight. 

 

cheryl ignores the way her heart swells at the sight of that stupid pink hair and lights up her cigarette, standing on the opposite side of the staircase in an attempt to stop toni from seeing her, but her heels betray her with how loudly they click on the concrete, and little toni topaz looks up at the sound before a wide grin is spreading across her face.

 

“bombshell.” she says simply.

 

“toni.” cheryl replies back with the same tone. toni’s grin only widens before she’s chuckling and shaking her head.

 

“you know, i’m surprised principal weatherbee hasn’t banned smoking yet. the number of kids who smoke has probably increased since we came around.” toni says with amusement. cheryl finds her throat seizing, and instead of replying, she simply shrugs and lights up her cigarette before taking a long drag from it.

 

the amount of students barreling down the staircase begins to dwindle, a few of them throwing dirty looks at cheryl and toni for the way they’re no doubt contaminating their fresh air, and as soon as they’re all gone, toni takes it upon herself to make her way over to cheryl. but before cheryl can begin to panic at the idea of close proximity with her, the pink haired serpent instead sits down at the top of the stairs and lets her legs lay flat over them. she leans back onto her elbows with one arm, the other occupied with bringing her own cigarette to her lips.

 

“you know, i’ve heard about you…even on the southside, the news of what happened with your family reached us.” toni says, her voice low, but still loud enough to carry over to cheryl, who is standing a few feet behind her.

 

cheryl purses her lips, but once again doesn’t reply. of course the news of what happened with her family reached the southside, it was all the entire town of riverdale talked about for at least six months straight…even now cheryl’s quite sure she’ll never be able to escape the hushed whispers and looks of disdain and disbelief. the only solution, really, would be to leave riverdale altogether, go somewhere where no one knew her name or her tragic life story.

 

not that she has any kind of problem with that at all. it’s been an idea in the back of her mind long before the entire fiasco with her family occurred. 

 

“you’re not very talkative, are you?” toni says, throwing a glance back at her with a raised eyebrow. cheryl licks her lips and simply sighs.

 

“i don’t like talking about my family…especially with strangers.” she says hoarsely, her voice raised a pitch higher than she’d like it to be, out of nerves or anger, she isn’t sure, but she clears her throat all the same and finally gathers up the courage to make her way over to the serpent girl. she hesitates for a brief moment before she collapses down beside her, another heavy sigh escaping her before she can help it as she focuses her gaze on jughead jones and betty cooper, the boy smiling and pressing a kiss to her cousin’s lips before she jumps onto the back of his motorcycle.

 

oh, how cheryl wishes alice cooper was here to see _that…_

 

“hmm…yeah, i can empathize with that.” toni mutters beside her. 

 

cheryl finds herself wondering for only the briefest second what toni’s family life is like for her to be empathizing with cheryl, but there’s a feeling of camaraderie, of shared experience between them that’s kind of hanging unspoken in the air right now, and cheryl doesn’t want to jeopardize it.

 

it feels…nice.

 

truth be told, cheryl doesn’t like talking about her family to anyone. long before her father had killed her brother, even. how can she begin to describe to anyone what the blossom family was like? the amount of secrets and lies and deception could easily be complied into a fucked up episode of _‘game of thrones’_ , and truthfully, cheryl doesn’t have any doubt in her mind that if her family existed within that fantasy realm, they’d fit right in with the evil doers and murderers. 

 

as much as she’d like to confide in someone, it doesn’t sound very appealing. cheryl doesn’t want to talk about the pain in her heart when she remembers that her twin brother is gone. cheryl doesn’t want to talk about the anger she feels when she remembers how much her parents hate her, how her mother doesn’t even bother to ask her how she is when she decides to pop in every few months since jason’s death. cheryl doesn’t like to talk about how alone she feels, cooped up in thistlehouse with only silence and agony for company.

 

cheryl sometimes finds herself wondering what would’ve happened if clifford had never killed jason…finds herself wondering how different her life would be if her brother had lived and exposed the secret of his father’s drug ring, hidden beneath an innocent façade of selling maple syrup…her father would be in prison, but would still be alive at least, and her mother would no doubt cut all ties with the both of them out of anger at their betrayal, but cheryl would’ve stuck by her brother’s side no matter what…

 

more than anything, however, she’d still have him here. she’d still be able to talk to him, to get his advice, to confide all her woes to him…she’d have someone who _cared._

 

“are you alright, bombshell? you look deep in thought…” toni’s voice cuts through the air, but cheryl’s more focused on the words she’s just said. 

 

she hasn’t heard someone ask her that in a long time.

 

“are you asking because you care, or because you’re trying to find a way to get me to talk to you?” cheryl blurts out before she can stop herself.

 

_damn it, control yourself, cheryl, for the love of god!_

 

to her surprise, however, toni laughs loudly, the sound causing a delightful shiver to run up cheryl’s entire body before she looks at cheryl with amusement sparkling in her brown eyes.

 

“both, i guess. i just wanted to make sure i didn’t overstep a boundary with the family stuff. if i did, i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to.” toni says simply, the laughter in her eyes fading before it’s quickly replaced with a look of what cheryl thinks is concern.

 

whoa…this wasn’t really happening, was it? did this girl seriously just _apologize_ to cheryl?

 

the only apology cheryl’s ever gotten from anyone were half assed ones that had no meaning behind the three syllables spoken from people who attended jason’s funeral, simple words to express their condolences, a quick _‘i’m sorry for your loss’_ , nothing more than a show of a grain of sympathy and sadness to her for losing her brother. after all, her father killed him, clearly she must’ve had something to do with it all…

 

“i…no. no, it’s fine.” cheryl croaks out, unable to move her gaze away from toni’s pinched forehead as she frowns before she simply nods and takes another drag from her cigarette.

 

and before cheryl can even fucking stop herself, she’s talking again.

 

“i’ve never really had anyone apologize to me for bringing up my family…most people just talk about it out in the open regardless of whether i’m around or not. even my friends.” cheryl says in a hollow voice.

 

_what the actual **fuck** , cheryl?!_

 

she purses her lips to stop herself from saying another word, occupying herself with smoking her cigarette in order to avoid toni’s gaze completely, not wanting to know what her expression looks like, but she can feel the pink haired serpent watching her, and she prays to every god she knows that toni doesn’t acknowledge what she just said. it was a heat of the moment thing, she didn’t mean it, she can’t go airing her shit out to someone she barely knows- 

 

“well, i’m full of surprises, bombshell. gotta admit, though…if your friends are doing that kind of shit, you need new ones.” toni says with a scoff. cheryl turns to look at her, sees toni’s eyes shining with what looks like a bit of anger, but mostly just sadness as she gives cheryl the smallest of smiles.

 

“i…i don’t really have any other friends.” cheryl whispers. oh god, what is she doing, toni probably thinks she’s insane now, a complete loser, a loner, she’s gonna get up and walk away and never look back-

 

“i could be your friend, if that’s what _you want_ me to be.” toni whispers back. 

 

oh.

 

cheryl feels every single muscle in her body tense up as soon as those words leave toni’s mouth, her mind frazzled and her heart racing with complete and utter shock as toni simply…smiles.

 

and not in a sarcastic or demeaning way, but with kindness and compassion…with sincerity. she means it. she actually fucking means it-

 

_“i could be your friend, if that’s what you want me to be.”_

 

cheryl’s thoughts only seem to linger on the last few words of that sentence, and she knows she must look like an utter fool right now, staring at toni in awe, because the pink haired girl chuckles before she finishes off her cigarette and flicks it away from them, down the stairs with the last few tendrils of grey smoke escaping it before she sighs and stands up.

 

“something to think about. see you at the party tonight, bombshell.” and with that, toni grabs her bag and gives cheryl another smile, a smile that’s a lot more playful this time before she’s making her way down the stairs toward her bike, leaving cheryl still sitting there in a frozen mess of confusion and surprise, but overall…desire. 

 

_“i could be your friend, if that’s what you want me to be.”_

 

\----------

 

cheerleading practice is a complete and utter blur, but for once in her life since taking over the role of head bitch in charge, cheryl finds herself distracted for a completely different reason, her eyes not lingering on a single girl on her squad for the entire two hours they spend going through the new routine for the pep rally inching closer in the coming weeks.

 

instead, her thoughts are filled with pink hair and equally pink lips, caramel skin and a playful smile, toni topaz taking up every aspect of her being, and the shitty thing is, cheryl isn’t even remotely mad about it. those words are still bouncing around her mind even though it’s been hours since she heard them, the words echoing while she carefully slides the red tube of maple cherry lipstick over her full lips. 

 

_“i could be your friend, if that’s what you want me to be.”_

 

cheryl was reading into it, she must be. it wasn’t anything more than an extension of friendship, and even that in itself still has cheryl in disbelief, but that’s all it was.

 

she hadn’t really meant anything by the second part of that sentence. she just meant that she could be the kind of friend cheryl needed right now. someone that cheryl could confide in and talk to…

 

so why the fuck can’t cheryl stop thinking about pinning her against the wall and fucking her, marking that caramel skin with red stains with her lips? 

 

her neck itches, and cheryl grips the edge of her vanity and lets out a shaky breath, giving herself a once over before she’s looking over at her bed and pondering the hidden box beneath it.

 

she bought it to feel in control, to tether herself to the ground, to have something to keep her stitched up tight and held together because fuck, everything had _fallen apart_ around her. she knew the sexual implications behind the goddamn thing, but she never actually thought of it in that way.

 

until now.

 

until toni topaz.

 

no. no, there was no way she could even fathom the possibility or the idea. here toni was, offering her friendship to cheryl and instead of accepting her hand in friendship, she was thinking of her in _that_ way…

 

what the hell is the matter with her? 

 

okay, yes, she was an eighteen year old virgin on the cusp of her final teenage years, so yes, she was hormonal and her sex drive was high, but _still…_

 

she can’t ruin whatever this could be by thinking of toni in _that_ way, she can’t. 

 

perfect white teeth bite down on a newly red marked bottom lip in hesitation before she lets out a heavy sigh and makes her way over to her bed, falling down to her knees gently and reaching under her bed for the box.

 

she pulls it out, perfectly red manicured nails gripping the box tightly before she drops it down on top of her bed and slides her fingers under the lid.

 

as soon as she lifts it, the collar sits in the middle of the box staring back at her almost accusatorily, but cheryl can’t help herself from reaching out to brush her fingers over the lambskin on the inside of the collar with a breathy sigh and shaking fingers.

 

thoughts of toni topaz brushing her hair back from her neck, placing the collar over her skin and tightening the buckle before pressing a kiss to her pulse…

 

cheryl feels her stomach drop and a dull throbbing aches between her legs, and she squeezes her thighs together before she drops the collar as if it’s electrocuted her back into the box with a scoff of anger. she grabs the lid, shoves it back over the top and throws it under her bed before flipping her hair over her shoulder with a huff.

 

no more. she won’t entertain those thoughts anymore, she barely knew toni and the girl was nice enough to tell cheryl that she was willing to be her friend. despite knowing what her family has done, despite probably noticing that everyone else avoids cheryl like the plague, she still offered something that cheryl can’t help but cherish. she wasn’t about to ruin this by engaging in predatory behavior and thoughts…she wasn’t about to ruin this with deviant thoughts about someone who could potentially be the friend she’s been craving for the last year since jason’s death. 

 

as much as she loved josie and veronica, and yes, begrudgingly, even cousin betty, all three of them never really took the time to care for her like she needed. and yes, that might be a selfish thing to think because all of them had their own things going on…betty had a southside serpent boyfriend who her mother didn’t approve of, veronica had a crime lord father on the cusp of getting out of prison and josie had her band and a career that could ignite a flame or fizzle out with a whimper if she wasn’t careful. but she can’t help but feel like they’re the ones that are selfish.

 

they claim to be her friends, but not a single one of them has really checked up on her in the months since jason’s death. sure, they offered a pat on the back and a shoulder to cry on when his body had been discovered in sweetwater river, and had expressed shock and rage and sympathy when cheryl’s father had been revealed as his murderer, but as soon as everything that had happened with the blossom family became ‘old news’, they began to slowly go back to how things were…none of them engaging in conversation with her unless she started it or they wanted something from her.

 

of course, there’s no guarantee that toni won’t be the same kind of friend to her, but after seeing how easily the girl had asked her if she was alright, seeing how she had gotten angry at cheryl mentioning that her friends were less than stellar in the caring department…

 

toni was different. cheryl can tell. 

 

_forget the collar, forget about the…other stuff, too. you need a **friend** , cheryl…she can be that for you. she **wants** to be that for you._

 

cheryl ignores the voice in her mind that tells her toni actually said she was willing to be whatever _cheryl_ wanted her to be, and instead sighs and turns toward the full length mirror in the corner of her room, looking herself up and down and nodding once she’s satisfied. a simple red dress that hugged every curve of her body, the sleeves resting around her shoulders nice and snug, hair pinned to the side and trailing down her body in soft curls…

 

finish it off with a nice pair of black jimmy choo’s and she was set to rock chuck clayton’s party.

 

she roams her closet for the shoes she wants, quickly sliding them on before she grabs her purse and heads for the front door of thistlehouse.

 

she catches herself a mere millisecond before calling out to say goodbye, a habit she hasn’t quite been able to kick yet. she’ll only be saying goodbye to an empty house, not her brother or her nana or her parents…

 

fuck, she needs a drink. or maybe three. 

 

the drive to chuck clayton’s house is short, cheryl pulling up in her red chevrolet impala to hear loud bass thumping through speakers from the house to her right, and she can’t help the frown that takes over her features when she notices a lack of motorcycles parked on the street.

 

she shakes her head and puts the car into park, pulling the handbrake up before she’s exiting the vehicle with a flourish. there’s a few jocks on the front lawn, archie andrews among them, and he gives her a wide grin and a wave as she approaches. she resists the urge to roll her eyes and simply raises her hand in greeting before she walks inside to a sea of riverdale high students dancing, chatting and drinking the night away.

 

she makes a beeline for the kitchen, ignoring the usual stares and the whispers as she passes by to find at least six coolers filled to the brim with vodka cruises and beers resting on the island countertop, and she grabs the first colorful bottle her hand lands on, curling her fingers around the top and pulling it out of the ice before she’s grabbing the bottle opener beside it and popping open the lid. 

 

“cheryl, hey!” josie makes her way over to her with a squeal, wrapping her arms around the redhead in a quick hug before she pulls back with excitement shining in her eyes.

 

“so, there’s a rumor going around that the new southside high kids are going to make an appearance tonight.” she says gleefully, no doubt anticipating a night of drama and chaos that cheryl can’t be bothered to find the same excitement in.

 

“they’re hardly new anymore, josie, they’ve been going to riverdale high for almost three weeks now.” cheryl drawls, raising the bottle in her hands to her lips and draining half of it in two gulps. it’s strawberry flavored, the fizziness of the drink smothering her tastebuds as josie waves her hand nonchalantly.

 

“whatever, point is…i’m kind hoping that tall, cute one shows up. you know the one who’s always hanging out with that girl with the pink hair? sweet pea, i think his name is…i gotta admit, girl, he’s dreamy…a total bad boy, but still…dreamy.” josie says with a chuckle, but cheryl’s not really heard anything she’s said past the mention of toni.

 

she raises the bottle to her lips and drains the rest of it quickly, simply deciding to nod along as josie grins at her widely before she’s squeezing her wrist and taking off in the opposite direction out of the kitchen without another word to her.

 

_well, that was short lived…_

 

is it because of everything that’s happened with her family? is that why josie and veronica and everyone else she once thought of as close friends no longer wanted to be around her for an extended period of time?

 

cheryl sighs and reaches for another vodka cruiser, popping the top off before she makes her way to the backyard, weaving her way through a sea of people to do so.

 

as soon as she’s outside, she moves toward the swing in the far left corner, navigating through the uneven ground before she’s collapsing onto the little wooden panel and gripping the rope that’s holding it up with one hand, the other lifting the bottle to her lips to take another sip.

 

she tries to ignore the sound of cheers and laughter, but truthfully, it’s a distraction from that fact that she’s at a party and yet she’s still out here alone, drinking by herself with no one to keep her company and no one who wants to keep her company.

 

in this moment, right now…she’s never felt more alone. and the thought has her heart aching before she can ask it not to.

 

she blinks back her tears and skulls the rest of the bottle down, sighing before she rests her head on her hand that’s holding the thick rope. she closes her eyes and allows herself to take a few deep breaths in before the sound of distant rumbling catches her attention.

 

her eyes snap open, the sound getting louder and louder until it’s evident that it’s a horde of motorcycles racing down the street.

 

cheryl jumps up and makes her way back inside the house, cursing loudly when she stumbles a little in her heels, her head feeling a little woozy. she probably shouldn’t have downed those drinks so fast, but she was emotional and alone at a party, sue her. 

 

at the sound of those motorcycles though, maybe she wasn’t so alone anymore…

 

instead, however, of heading to the front lawn and greeting the people she has no doubts are the southside serpents come to wreak havoc, she turns and makes her way into kitchen to grab another drink, and she hesitates with her hand hovering over a second one before she decides against it and simply pops the lid on her own one. when she exits the kitchen, she sees the serpents entering through the front door, jughead jones at the front of the pack with a smirk on his face as chuck clayton barges through the crowd with nothing but rage shining in his eyes.

 

“hey! no one invited serpent trash to my party! get the hell out!” he barks, taking a threatening step closer to jughead, and cheryl’s eyes fall on sweet pea who’s standing behind him. 

 

where’s toni? she said she was going to be here, she said…

 

_hello, a fight is about to happen, focus, cheryl!_

 

sweet pea clenches his jaw and cracks his knuckles before he steps forward, but jughead raises a hand to stop him, looking back at him intensely before that cocky smirk is back on his face. he raises his hands in surrender and lets out a small chuckle.

 

“come on, chuck…we’re all friends here, man. we just came by to have a bit of a good time, alright? don’t you think it’s time we put our northside and southside differences aside now that we’re all going to the same school?” jughead says diplomatically. chuck glares at him, and he’s about to retaliate with what cheryl is sure is nothing kind when archie suddenly wraps an arm around chuck’s neck with a loud laugh.

 

“i agree! come on, chuckie, everyone’s having a good time and honestly…the whole football team is _wasted._ we can’t fight even if we wanted to, so let it go, man.” archie slurs, his eyes slightly dazes as he blinks slowly and claps chuck’s shoulder with a lazy grin. chuck rolls his eyes, glares at jughead just one more time before he huffs and waves them in.

 

“fine, but if you break anything, i’m calling the cops.” he grumbles. 

 

cheryl lets out a sigh of relief and watches as jughead’s smile only widens, and he looks back at the serpents before he makes his way in, the serpents following behind him loyally.

 

if a fight had broken out, this party would be over and cheryl would’ve been left with nothing and no one once again.

 

_god, where is toni?_

 

cheryl bites down on her lower lip, watching the serpents begin to mingle with the crowd when she notices that sweet pea and the other boy, who cheryl had learned in passing was named fangs, haven’t moved from the front door yet.

 

it’s as if they’re waiting for someone, and sure enough, toni topaz appears over the threshold with an unlit cigarette caught between her teeth.

 

and cheryl feels the air leave her lungs almost immediately. 

 

she’s wearing a simple black and white striped crop top underneath her serpent jacket, her brown and pink hair falling in curls over her shoulders with some parts braided as usual, but she’s wearing severely ripped jeans that expose fishnet stockings underneath and the boots she’s wearing are heeled and studded, and dear _god-_

 

that desire sweeps through her once again, and cheryl swallows the lump in her throat quickly as she ignores the throbbing between her legs.

 

the look on toni’s face is nothing but smug, glittery lip gloss covering those plump lips of hers as they twist into a smile once she removes the cigarette from between them.

 

her eyes roam around the room before they land on cheryl, and that smile only grows wider before she’s suddenly stretching onto the tips of her toes to whisper into sweet pea’s ear. he frowns, but nods before he’s clapping a hand against fangs’s chest, the both of them making their way through the crowd of people, but toni stays by the door, her eyes meeting cheryl’s once more.

 

jesus christ, the tension between them is thick, cheryl can fucking feel it from across the room, _what the fuck is happening…_

 

she lifts the cigarette between her fingers with a raised eyebrow, and cheryl purses her lips before she nods and makes her way back outside to the yard where no one can disturb them, her heart pounding loudly in her ears with each step of her jimmy choos.

 

she has no idea what she’s doing, no idea what’s going to happen, but those drinks are starting to get to her now, and she takes a deep breath in through her nose, curses herself under her breath for drinking two goddamn bottles of vodka in less than ten minutes before she pushes the back door open.

 

she can feel toni trailing behind her, and as soon as she’s outside, she turns to face the serpent, a sharp inhale before she’s extending the bottle in her hands toward the girl. toni grins at her before she takes it, and again, their fingers brush against each other’s, red nails clashing with black.

 

“thanks.” she says simply, raising the bottle to her lips and taking a quick sip before she’s handing it back to cheryl.

 

cheryl hesitates before she takes a sip as well, and _fuck-_

 

she can taste toni’s lip gloss on the rim of the bottle, watermelon flavored.

 

_she’s so fucked, she’s so fucking fucked-_

 

“so…you enjoying the night so far?” toni asks, and cheryl watches as she skips down the small staircase with those boots clomping loudly on the ground, watches as she makes her way over to the swing cheryl was just sitting on moments before.

 

“not much to enjoy, i only got here about ten minutes ago.” cheryl says with a shrug, following the girl and trying not to come off as tipsy despite the fact that she most definitely _is._

 

toni moves behind the swing and grips the rope attached to it, and cheryl raises an eyebrow at her. toni laughs and nods down at the seat, and cheryl rolls her eyes before she’s collapsing down into it once more, this time with a smile on her face. 

 

she really hates this girl. she really, really hates this girl, with her stupid pink hair and her…god, her beautiful face and her enticing body and her charismatic fucking energy…

 

“aren’t you scared your friends are going to cause a fight without you there to keep them in check?” cheryl asks, lifting the bottle in her hand to her lips. once she’s done taking a sip, toni reaches from behind her to grab it, and cheryl can hear the liquid sloshing around in the bottle as she gulps down some of it before handing it back to cheryl with a loud smack of her lips.

 

“i’m not their mom, if they wanna fight, they can fight. besides, i’d rather be out here with you.” toni says simply.

 

cheryl bites down so hard on the inside of her cheek, she can taste the blood that floods from the wound and overwhelms her taste buds.

 

_please stay in control, cheryl, don’t jeopardize this, please…_

 

she hears the sound of a lighter flicking before the smell of tobacco invades her nostrils, and she hears toni breathe in deeply behind her before a cloud of smoke forms above her head, trailing along with the wind softly. toni’s hand makes an appearance in her peripheral, the lit cigarette caught between her fingers, and cheryl hesitates before she takes it and raises it to her lips. 

 

toni’s cigarettes are a lot harsher than cheryl’s, her throat immediately burning the second she takes a drag from it. cheryl smokes menthols because she doesn’t particularly enjoy the taste of tobacco and the mint taste kind of takes some of the edge off, but this one is pure tobacco. 

 

cheryl fights the urge to cough and hands it back to toni, who chuckles before cheryl suddenly feels her hands move down the strings until they’re resting incredibly close to her hips, a few inches above the wood of the seat. 

 

“i thought about what you said…about being my friend.” cheryl manages to croak out hoarsely. toni simply hums softly in her ear before she’s pulling the seat back just a little and letting it go. cheryl swings forth barely an inch, her grip on the bottle tightening regardless before toni’s leaning in close to her ear once more.

 

“and what did you decide?” she murmurs. cheryl fights back a whimper, but can’t control the goosebumps that erupt on her skin at the sensation of toni’s breath tickling her ear, and she swallows the lump in her throat and brings the bottle to her lips to buy herself some time.

 

once again, as soon as she’s done, toni takes the bottle from her hands and takes a swig before handing it back to her, and cheryl, feeling a little claustrophobic and a little cornered, grabs it and drains the rest of it quickly, ignoring the way toni laughs quietly as she does.

 

she rests the bottle on the ground, licking her lips before she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath in to try and stop the world from spinning, but it’s useless. she sinks back a little, and toni suddenly lets go of the swing and catches her, hands gripping her shoulders as cheryl’s back presses against her chest.

 

“wow, didn’t take you for a lightweight, bombshell.” toni laughs in her ear. cheryl whines and shakes her head.

 

“i had two before you got here.” she grumbles. 

 

“you said you got here ten minutes ago-oh…” toni breathes out, realization clearly dawning on her, and cheryl groans and sinks forward, resting her head in her hands in shame as she centers her heeled feet back on the concrete in an effort to stabilize herself.

 

god, she’s such an _idiot…_

 

“yeah, you can’t drink those so quickly, no wonder you’re already feeling it.” toni says with a light chuckle. cheryl feels toni move out from behind her before something is gripping her knees, and she opens her eyes to see toni kneeling in front of her with a soft smile.

 

“wanna tell me why you were drinking so much so fast?” she asks softly. 

 

cheryl purses her lips to stop herself from saying anything, but her fucking tear ducts betray her because tears well in her eyes almost immediately at the look on toni’s face. her control completely and utterly slips through her fingers like water.

 

why, oh why, did she have to be cursed with being an emotional drunk?

 

the girl’s smile fades and is replaced with worry as she sighs and brushes her thumbs over the skin of cheryl’s knees soothingly. 

 

“hey…come on, cheryl, what’s wrong?” she asks hoarsely, nothing but care dripping from every syllable she utters, and cheryl’s bottom lip trembles before she can stop it, the tears falling down her cheeks as she lets out a shaky breath.

 

this girl was nothing but a stranger…

 

so then why the hell did she have more of a connection with her than any other person in this god forsaken place? 

 

“i just…everyone was having fun in there and all i felt was…alone.” cheryl breathes out, sniffing as she attempts to wipe away her tears, but more just keep falling, and god, she _hates_ this so fucking much, she’s not a weak person, and toni’s the last girl she wants to look weak in front of, but she’s sitting her, bumbling and sobbing and crying like a fucking idiot, toni was probably regretting everything she said to cheryl this afternoon about being her friend-

 

“cheryl…you’re not alone, okay? not anymore…i meant what i said. i can be your friend, if that’s what you _want_ me to be.” toni’s voice is so, so soft…not at all the usual rough and seductive tone cheryl’s used to hearing by now…

 

_"you're not alone, okay? not anymore..."_

 

god, cheryl's been wanting to hear those words for so fucking long...

 

toni's being gentle, it’s obvious in the way she’s looking at cheryl with that amazing smile, obvious in the way she’s brushing her thumbs in comforting circles over cheryl’s knees, and god, this is everything she’s craved for a year now, because all of this is proof that someone _cares._

 

and that someone is a fucking southside serpent with an addiction to cigarettes and smelled of nothing but trouble who was a complete and utter stranger to her.

 

cheryl’s never wanted to get to know someone _more._

 

god, this girl didn't even know her...

 

“why? why do you care so much?” cheryl croaks out, tears still clinging to her eyelashes as she wipes away the ones still resting stagnant on her cheeks. toni lets out a soft laugh before she looks up at cheryl, and that little, seductive smirk is on her face once more. 

 

“because i never could resist a lonely girl with a pretty face. and you, bombshell…you take the fucking cake in that department.” toni says with a grin. 

 

_fuck._

 

her neck is itching again. 

 

_toni topaz’s little hands brushing her hair back from her neck as she placed the collar over her skin, working the buckle between nimble fingers before she presses a kiss to cheryl’s pulse tenderly…_

 

“you really think i’m pretty?” cheryl whispers, her words slurring together slightly as the alcohol really starts to affect her now. toni’s smile falters a little, and to cheryl’s utter surprise, she swallows loudly as if she’s nervous before she’s suddenly pressing her hands into cheryl’s knee to push herself up a little closer to the red haired girl before her.

 

“i think you’re the prettiest girl i’ve ever seen, cheryl.” she whispers back, the smell of alcohol and tobacco hitting cheryl’s nostrils, and _god_ , she wants to kiss her, she wants to kiss her so badly…

 

she leans forward to close the gap between them, but when she’s less than a fucking hair away from toni’s lips, the pink haired girl suddenly inhales sharply and pulls away, and cheryl stumbles forward like a fucking fool before she’s snapping back with flushed cheeks and a hot face.

 

oh fuck, oh fuck, she’s ruined, she’s completely ruined it, toni didn’t want to kiss her, why did she do that, why, why, _why-_

 

“i’m s-sorry, i shouldn’t have assumed-.” cheryl stutters out, but toni blinks once in confusion before her eyes widen and she grips cheryl’s knees once again.

 

“hey, whoa, no, don’t get me wrong, cheryl, i _want_ to! i haven’t stopped wanting to for the last two weeks, but i’m not gonna let our first kiss be a drunken one, especially not when you’re emotional, too. come on, i’ll take you home, okay?” toni stands suddenly, her hands gripping cheryl’s to pull her off the seat, and cheryl wants to protest, but her eyes feel heavy from all the crying and as soon as she’s on her own two feet, the world begins to spin quite violently-

 

yeah, she’s definitely drunk. she probably should’ve eaten something before she came here…

 

_great, now this girl is going to take you home to your lonely fucking house because you’re too wasted to do it yourself. you’re such a fucking mess, cheryl, you’ve ruined absolutely **everything!**_

 

she’s such an idiot, she can’t believe this is happening-

 

wait…did toni say she wanted to kiss her, too?

 

cheryl sways slightly on the spot, feels her breathing become ragged as excitement floods her, and she tries not to blush when toni wraps an arm around her waist to keep her steady as toni's words echo in her mind.

 

toni wanted to kiss her, too...

 

_oh, happy day._

 

so cheryl's not imagining things...holy shit, this...well, this changed things, this changed things big time-

 

_well, what do you want her to be? a friend...or something more?_

 

toni reaches into her pocket and pulls out her phone, her fingers tapping quickly at the screen before she looks to the back door of the house expectantly.

 

“you know, you never answered my question, cheryl…” toni murmurs, a light smile playing on her lips, and cheryl looks at her with a dumbfounded frown for a few seconds before toni chuckles and leans in a little closer to her.

 

“what did you decide?” toni asks firmly. cheryl licks her lips before she simply shakes her head.

 

she doesn’t _know_ , she doesn’t fucking know what she’s decided or what she wants or who she even _is_ anymore…this whole year has been nothing but destruction and despair and cheryl doesn’t even know what she’s supposed to look forward to in this life anymore, let alone what she wants out of it.

 

“i…i don’t know.” cheryl whispers truthfully, and toni’s smile falters as she purses her lips before sighing. she looks…disappointed. 

 

cheryl’s about to apologize, for what, she has no idea, but she’s interrupted by the sound of the back door springing open, and sure enough, sweet pea and fangs burst through it, the both of them looking around with concern before they see toni and make their way toward her.

 

“what’s up, tiny?” sweet pea grunts out the second he’s close enough. cheryl sees him frown at her, but before she can ask him to square the fuck up, toni sighs and reaches into her other pocket, pulling out a set of keys.

 

“can you get my bike back to the trailer park?” she says firmly. sweet pea simply nods, and she smiles and tightens her grip around cheryl’s waist.

 

“thanks.”

 

trailer park? toni lives in a trailer park?

 

she deserves better than that, what the fuck, she deserves a lavish mansion and gold plated fucking furniture, this girl was _pure-_

 

“where are you going?” fangs asks in confusion, his eyes landing on cheryl as she sways in toni’s arms once again. toni chuckles and tightens her grip on cheryl’s waist once again.

 

“cheryl’s a little drunk, i’m gonna make sure she gets home safely.” 

 

“so what, we’re friends with her now?” sweet pea scoffs, looking at cheryl with disapproval. before cheryl can say anything, however, toni raises an eyebrow at him.

 

“she rejected you, get over it, dude. besides, josie mccoy’s been making eyes at you for over a week now and she’s hot as shit, so stop pouting and go make it happen.” she says with a roll of her eyes. sweet pea blinks once in shock before he’s looking back inside the house with a raised eyebrow and a grin, and toni scoffs before she gives cheryl a little poke to the side.

 

“come on, bombshell, let’s get you home.” 

 

and cheryl simply gives her a stupid drunken smile as she giggles.

 

“you don’t know where i live.” she mumbles with a cheeky smile. toni laughs as she nods at sweet pea and fangs before she begins leading cheryl around the house back to the front lawn, and cheryl breathes in deeply and attempts to focus on how she’s moving, but toni’s gripping her so tightly and god, it just feels so… _nice._

 

“you can tell me how to get there. you mind if i drive your car?” 

 

“s’not my car…it’s jason’s.” cheryl grumbles out drunkenly, sighing as the chevrolet impala comes into view, but she sinks her hand into the purse around her shoulder and pulls out her car keys, holding them up to toni regardless.

 

she shouldn’t like the idea of a stranger driving jason’s car, but she can’t help but feel…safe, with toni. besides, she's wasted, and toni came her on a motorcycle, she's pretty sure if she got on the back of that, toni would lose her halfway home.

 

“in that case, i promise i’ll drive as carefully as i can.” toni says softly, taking the keys from her hands with a gentle smile. 

 

_oh…_

 

cheryl blinks back more tears as toni opens the passenger seat and helps her collapse down into it, the tears falling before she can stop them. 

 

toni…little toni topaz…god, where did she come from? how does cheryl stop her from leaving? how does cheryl begin to ask her to please, please, please, stick around unlike so many other people who came waltzing into cheryl’s life before her?

 

“toni…” cheryl reaches out to grip the pink haired girl’s hand, and toni leans in with a smile as she grabs the seatbelt and clicks it into place over cheryl’s body with her free hand, the other staying clasped in cheryl’s tightly.

 

“yeah, bombshell?” 

 

cheryl hesitates, her tongue heavy in her mouth, and she licks her lips as her eyes roam over those deliciously plump lips before meeting kind brown eyes.

 

she wants to kiss her…and she knows toni wants to kiss her, too.

 

but she’s right. cheryl’s drunk, and she wants to remember…god, does she want to remember what kissing toni topaz _feels_ like.

 

she can’t just be her friend, can she? she can’t just be normal and think of this girl as just a friend…

 

_oh cheryl, what are you gonna do now?_

 

“i…thank you.” she murmurs, her voice small and shy despite herself, and toni smiles before she gives cheryl’s hand a gentle squeeze. 

 

“you’re welcome, cheryl. now let’s get you home safe and sound, shall we?”


	4. her new favorite addiction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooh, we're really building it up now, aren't we? :P i promise this is the last chapter of backstory, we're really gonna start getting into it next chapter, because...well, when you read this one, you'll find out :D
> 
> leave comments letting me know what you think!

“damn, bombshell…this is where you live?” 

 

cheryl rolls her eyes as she sticks the key to thistlehouse into the lock and turns it, her arm sluggishly pushing the front door open before she’s stumbling over the threshold and toni’s hands are catching her by the waist to stop her from falling flat on her face. 

 

she feels her cheeks flush, whether from the alcohol or the embarrassment, she isn’t sure, but most likely both as she nods once.

 

“welcome to my humble abode, toni. it’s a lonely, desolate ghost town of dead blossoms and shitty parenting…can you tell by the hideous energy vibrating within the walls?” cheryl grumbles with a less than sincere laugh, a scoff escaping her as she makes her way to the stairs. toni follows close behind her, hands at the ready to catch her in case she falls again, and to her surprise, toni lets out a light laugh before she responds. 

 

“don’t worry, my shitty trailer has the same energy, just less of the dead people and more of the shitty parenting, so i’m used to it. now, where’s your room?” cheryl freezes at the top of the stairs and takes a second to acknowledge toni’s words.

 

not a single one of her friends has stepped foot in thistlehouse since clifford’s death and the reveal that he was jason’s murderer except for veronica, who took one step inside, shuddered and said “the atmosphere in here is daunting, how do you live here, cheryl?” before she had turned on her heel and left, choosing instead to wait outside for her for their lunch date at pop’s for over half an hour. 

 

yet, here was little toni topaz, gallivanting right behind her without a care because _she knows what it’s like._

 

she knows what it’s like to live in a place with horrible energy. with secrets and sins buried in each of the walls like a bad smell, unseen, but still there for everyone to witness…

 

yet, despite it all, she was still here, caring for a drunk girl she barely knew to make sure she was safe…

 

kindness, it appears, does not equal weakness, like cheryl’s been brought up to believe. toni’s quickly becoming the kindest person she knows and yet, there isn’t a single chink in her armor that cheryl’s found so far. she even talks about her apparent shitty parents with ease.

 

“this way…” cheryl mumbles, making her way toward her bedroom with toni still right behind her with every step she takes. she sighs as she pushes the door open, a deep exhale through her nose, and she’s rolling her eyes again at the whistle of appreciation that escapes toni from behind her as she collapses onto her bed with a tired huff.

 

“queen sized bed…how fitting.” toni says with a laugh, cocking an eyebrow at cheryl sprawled out on the sheets before she’s smirking and making her way over to her. 

 

“what kind of bed do you have?” cheryl slurs, her eyes landing on the slightly spinning ceiling, a very quiet part of the back of her mind that’s silenced by her drunken state cursing her for such a stupid question, but toni simply laughs and, to cheryl’s utter surprise, bends down by cheryl’s feet before she’s gripping her left calf with one hand and reaching for her heel on the same leg with the other. 

 

“a double, but the mattress is ancient and the sheets smell like alcohol no matter how many times i wash them, so…” toni murmurs with a frown. cheryl props herself up onto her elbows and looks down at the girl at her feet, watches as she removes cheryl’s heel with the utmost care before she’s gripping her other leg and repeating the process. as soon as her heel is off, toni’s fingertips brush down her calf, and cheryl feels a shiver explode up her spine at the action before she’s biting down on her bottom lip to stop herself from launching into this girl’s arms. 

 

“why do they smell like alcohol?” cheryl asks in wonder before she can stop herself and also in an attempt to gain some semblance of control, and toni chuckles before she exhales deeply through her nose and shakes her head.

 

“sorry, bombshell, you need to be at least a level five friend to unlock my tragic backstory.” she teases before she stands up and looks around the room in wonder. she suddenly makes her way over to cheryl’s dresser, the red haired girl watching her carefully despite how drunk she is, and she watches as toni’s expression softens when her eyes land on a photo of jason and cheryl at the age of nine with their arms wrapped around each other resting in a frame on top of it. 

 

she doesn’t take the photo, merrily looks at it for a few moments, and cheryl find herself desperate for a distraction, so she clears her throat and blinks back her tears before she calls out to her. 

 

“are those boys you hang out with ‘level five’ friends?” cheryl grumbles, feeling somewhat a little jealous that those boys got such an insight into toni’s life while she remained in the unknown despite the fact that she’s only known this girl for about two weeks now.

 

she wants to know more… _craves_ it like nothing she’s ever craved before…

 

toni laughs, the sound like melodic music to cheryl’s ears before she shakes her head.

 

“nah, they’re like…level ten, which is family level, you know? i grew up with them, they’re like my brothers now.” she says with a fond smile that cheryl finds herself pondering at for a few seconds before she feels a wave of confidence flood her, most likely from the alcohol currently running through her blood. toni makes her way back over to her, collapsing onto the bed beside her with a grunt, and cheryl bites down on her bottom lip before she responds.

 

“hmm…what do i have to do to get to level ten?” she murmurs, pushing herself up lazily until she’s sitting right beside toni, and she hears the pink haired girl inhale sharply before she’s chuckling.

 

“oh no, bombshell. you’re not getting to level ten.” she says firmly, her eyes playful as they roam over cheryl’s face. cheryl pouts and leans in just a little closer, watches those long eyelashes flutter as toni’s eyes move over her body before they reach her face once more.

 

“why not?” she whispers, heart pounding a little loudly in her ears now. toni licks her lips before she’s smirking, and cheryl watches her lean just a little closer before her fingers are dancing over the skin of cheryl’s upper thigh where her dress has ridden up.

 

“because i don’t like thinking about having sex with people i see as family. it’s kind of awkward.” she says nonchalantly, a slight purr in her voice that has cheryl’s heart seizing.

 

oh.

 

_fuck._

 

“you’re quite forward, aren’t you, kitten?” cheryl murmurs, her eyes moving down to toni’s fingers skating up and down her thigh, and a soft whimper escapes her before she can stop it when toni removes her hand and looks at her with another playful smirk. 

 

“don’t think i haven’t noticed you watching me for the last two weeks, cheryl. pretty sure you want me just as badly as i want you.” 

 

_ah, fuck. caught, big time._

 

_go for the kill, cheryl. do it._

 

“if i told you i do…” cheryl whispers, clearing her throat and attempting to clear her mind, which is completely futile at this point because it’s still spinning like crazy. toni once again takes a deep breath in before she’s back to brushing her fingers over the top of cheryl’s thigh.

 

“i’m sure that can be arranged, bombshell.” she hums softly. 

 

and then she fucking _winks at her._

 

_control yourself, cheryl, please, don’t ruin this-_

 

why? why the fuck should she, they both wanted it, they both craved it, why should she control herself, why not just get this rolling already, fuck control, fuck all of it-

 

“well you’re here, i’m here, what’s stopping us?” cheryl murmurs, her hand reaching out to grip the lapels of toni’s jacket to pull her in, to bruise those fucking plump lips of hers with her own, but with lightning speed, toni’s hand moves from her thigh to her hand before it can reach her, gripping her wrist lightly as she smiles softly and shakes her head.

 

“you’re drunk, bombshell. i’m not in the business of taking advantage of intoxicated girls.” she mumbles. 

 

cheryl can feel the heat rising to her cheeks, and this time she _knows_ it’s from embarrassment, but also anger.

 

this girl is a waste of her fucking time, why was cheryl even entertaining the possibility of something with her? she was trash, southside serpent trash, and fuck, yes, she was attractive as shit, but clearly she enjoyed playing games and fucking around with people, cheryl wasn’t going to put up with it just to fuck her.

 

she’s been through enough bullshit in her fucking life.

 

“then why the fuck are you here?” she hisses with a scoff, pulling her hand out of toni’s grip harshly and collapsing back down onto the bed with a huff. she hears toni sigh before the bed is moving beneath her and toni’s face is hovering above her own in her periphery, a frown on her face as she looks down at cheryl with a raised eyebrow.

 

“to look after you…why else would i be here? just to fuck you? if you really think that, then you haven’t had a lot of good people in your life, have you?” toni says incredulously.

 

cheryl’s cheeks turn impossibly redder, the flush moving down to her chest and arms now as she looks up at toni a little breathlessly, her eyes moving over her face to see it filled with nothing but concern and, well…sadness.

 

cheryl hates it. she doesn’t want pity, she doesn’t need it either, but she still feels horrible for accusing a girl she barely even knows of wanting only sex from her. it’s just how she’s been programmed to think, clifford blossom’s words echoing in her mind like a sickness.

 

_“people only want two things in life, cheryl. sex and power. more than likely, in your future, you’ll find yourself in a position where you have to use power for sex, or use sex for power…when that time comes, just make the right choice, dear daughter. you’re a blossom after all…power is the only thing we crave and the only thing we’ll never let go of. you’ll do well to remember that.”_

 

clifford had told her that when she was just fourteen years old.

 

yes…she hasn’t really had a lot of good people in her life…

 

“i’m sorry, i just…” cheryl trails off, but once again, to her surprise, toni smiles and shakes her head.

 

“hey, it’s okay, i get it. you haven’t had someone care for you in a long time, huh?” toni says softly, her brow furrowing as she watches cheryl blink back tears and take in a shuddering breath before she simply shakes her head. toni sighs before cheryl feels something warm touch her hand, and she looks down to see toni interlacing their fingers, her thumb brushing over her hand in calming circles.

 

“i’d like to be that person, if you’ll let me.” toni whispers. cheryl swallows the lump in her throat, and fuck, she can almost _feel_ the energy from that fucking box beneath her bed, but she pushes it out of her mind and looks up at toni in wonder.

 

she doesn’t understand. toni didn’t even know who she was, why did she care so much?

 

“i…why?” she breathes out. toni lets out what sounds like a small sigh of frustration as her grip in cheryl’s hand tightens.

 

“i told you why.” she says hoarsely. cheryl frowns in confusion, not quite understanding. toni’s said a lot tonight, perhaps a bit too much for her inebriated mind to comprehend…

 

“because you want to fuck me?” she says in a small voice despite herself. toni rolls her eyes and digs her nails into cheryl’s hand almost in reprimand for her words, the action causing a shiver to run up the red head’s spine.

 

“no…because i know what it’s like to feel alone, and i’d hate for someone as beautiful as you to ever feel that way.” toni says simply.

 

and fuck, it’s almost off-putting, how easily toni is able to say such things…cheryl’s never seen someone so fucking confident before, especially in their sexuality. it’s obvious toni isn’t straight, considering she’s in cheryl’s room right now, whittling between flirtatious banter and genuine care for the red haired girl, but she carries it on her shoulders as if it’s weightless, and honestly, cheryl is _fucking jealous._ she’s spent years feeling nothing but resentment for her attraction to women and yet here toni is, so effortlessly basking in it…

 

_maybe you can learn a thing or two from her, cheryl…_

 

“i’ve felt that way for a long time, toni.” cheryl says huskily, her voice betraying her emotions as it cracks from the pressure, and she licks her lips and clears her throat before her eyes move up from their intertwined hands to look into toni’s eyes. 

 

she’s smiling. 

 

“well, maybe i can change that.” she whispers, her free hand reaching up suddenly to tuck a lock of hair behind cheryl’s ear slowly.

 

god, her fingers brushing over cheryl’s skin…the goosebumps erupt all over her body the second she makes contact, and cheryl bites down on a cherry red bottom lip as she looks up at toni hesitantly. 

 

this girl was quintessential _good…_ cheryl couldn’t fuck her life up like she has so many others…she was broken, that much is true…how could she possibly let toni begin the task of putting her back together when as far as she’s concerned, it’s an impossible feat?

 

“you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into. i’m damaged goods, toni, i’m…fucked up. really fucked up.” cheryl says with a less than humorous laugh, and she sniffs back her tears as she lifts their interlaced hands to look at them in wonder, staring at the stark contrast between her pale, alabaster skin and toni’s caramel dark…her perfectly manicured red nails that were longer than most and toni’s chipped black polished ones that were shorter than most…

 

complete and total opposites in so many different ways, yet still here in the same position…

 

“we’re all a little fucked up, cheryl. maybe we just need someone to help us get through the madness.” toni murmurs. cheryl’s eyes flick upwards to look at toni, who smiles down at her so softly, it has cheryl swallowing the lump in her throat before she nods at her.

 

“and do you have someone? to help you through the madness?” she asks in a hoarse voice. toni looks at her in amusement before she cocks an eyebrow.

 

“no.” she says simply, her eyes shining with something cheryl can’t quite put her finger on. cheryl purses her lips and nods once before her eyes move back down to their intertwined hands.

 

so maybe they’re both stuck in a place of pain and chaos…maybe they’re both just looking for something or someone to help keep them grounded…

 

“maybe i can be that person for you, too.” she says in a low voice, shaky and filled with no goddamn confidence whatsoever, and she regrets saying it the second she’s done talking.

 

she can barely hold herself together and now she wants to be emotional support for toni? that’s almost laughable if it wasn’t so fucking depressing…

 

“maybe you can, cheryl…maybe you can.”

 

oh.

 

when exactly was toni topaz going to stop surprisingly her into silence?

 

toni reaches out, her fingers brushing over cheryl’s jawline and forcing her to turn her head until their eyes meet, and for the longest time, they simply…stare at each other.

 

it’s a connection cheryl’s never felt before, but one she’s more than happy to acknowledge, butbefore cheryl can even think of something to say or do to break the silence, the shrill sound of a phone ringing echoes in her room, and toni frowns before she lets go of cheryl’s hand and breaks eye contact. she digs into her pocket to pull out her phone, her eyes looking down at the caller id.

 

“ugh…” she rolls her eyes before answering.

 

“yeah, sweets?”

 

“i just got punched in the face by reggie mantle for flirting with josie mccoy, so thanks for that advice, tiny!” cheryl hears a loud voice angrily yell through the phone, causing her to wince simply from reflex, because loud voices have never resulted in anything good for her, but toni’s face is as stoic as ever as she clenches her jaw.

 

“did you kick his ass?” she grunts out. sweet pea’s laugh echoes out.

 

“course i did!” toni smiles before she looks down at cheryl and gives her another wink that has her heart palpitating just a little faster, her fingers returning to cheryl’s to interlace them easily, as if they’re just casually hanging out and holding hands like normal couples do.

 

it exhilarates her and terrifies her all at the same time.

 

“good, then get your shit together, because i’m too busy to coddle you right now.” toni says simply. sweet pea laughs again.

 

“you’re busy? don’t tell me you’re actually fucking cheryl blossom right now, toni?” he exclaims incredulously. cheryl’s heart stops, and she looks up to see toni’s expression turn stony. it’s silent for a few seconds and then-

 

toni hangs up on him. 

 

she ends the call and drops her phone on top of the bed, staring down at it with pursed lips before she looks back up at cheryl innocently as if nothing happened. 

 

cheryl simply stares at her for a few moments.

 

“you hung up on him.” she says merely. toni grins and nods her head once with a shrug.

 

“i did.” 

 

“why?”

 

“because he’s an ass.” she grunts out. cheryl frowns, her mind still spinning, and she knows she should probably be making an attempt to sleep this drunken state off, but she doesn’t want to stop talking to toni just yet.

 

did sweet pea say he beat up reggie mantle?

 

“he got into a fight.” cheryl deadpans, looking up to see toni rolling her eyes with a shrug.

 

“fangs is with him, he’ll be fine.” she says nonchalantly. 

 

“won’t he be mad at you for hanging up on him?” cheryl asks. toni looks up at her, perhaps wondering why she’s asking so many questions, and honestly, cheryl has no idea, when toni’s phone goes off and she looks down before she’s chuckling and holding it up for cheryl to see.

 

“does it look like he’s mad?” it’s a text message from sweet pea that’s a simple wink face emoji and scissors. 

 

how crude.

 

“i guess not.” cheryl mumbles. toni laughs loudly, her hand reaching out to brush up cheryl’s arm, causing goosebumps to erupt all over her body once again at her touch, and fuck, she doesn’t understand why this girl is having such an effect on her-

 

“you should get some sleep, bombshell.” toni whispers, her hand moving up to brush her hair back from her face ever so gently. cheryl swallows the lump in her throat before she responds.

 

“yeah, probably. will you stay?” she croaks out, but before she can begin to regret asking, toni replies without a single ounce of hesitation. 

 

“if that’s what you want, then yeah.” she says simply with a nod. cheryl finds herself frowning at that.

 

why is it always about what cheryl wants? not once has toni told her what she herself wants, and as much as it should be considered a good thing for those with selfish minds such as herself, cheryl finds herself not wanting toni to be left out here. it wasn’t fair.

 

either that, or she’s so far gone in her drunken state of mind, she’s finally considering the possibility of actually opening up to this girl and having her open up to her in return.

 

“and what do you want?” cheryl manages to slur out, her eyelids already beginning to droop with fatigue as she attempts to sit up, but she just kind of collapses forward until her head is resting on toni’s shoulder. the pink haired girl chuckles in her before cheryl feels soft lips pressing a kiss to her brow.

 

_oh fuck._

 

“we can talk about it tomorrow when you’re sober. come on, let’s get you into bed.” 

 

cheryl’s fighting a losing battle at this point, her mind still kind of frozen on the feeling of toni’s lips pressing a kiss to her skin, but she feels toni suddenly shift her position before she’s gently dragging cheryl toward her pillows, helping her along and as soon as her head lands on top of one of them, she feels sleep quickly grip her in a chokehold, her mind fading in colors of black and grey, but not before she hears a soft voice whisper…

 

“goodnight, bombshell.” 

 

\----------------

 

much to her surprise, cheryl doesn’t wake up with much of a hangover the next morning.

 

her body does, however, feel like it’s been hit by at least eighteen buses, and she’s barely opened her eyes before she’s groaning and shoving her face into her pillow in an attempt to alleviate the pain.

 

it’s useless, of course.

 

she slowly blinks her eyes open, squinting and hissing painfully when sunlight makes direct contact with her eyes, and she blinks back the tears and simply stretches out as best she can, soft moans escaping her with each pop of her stiff joints.

 

god, she’s never drinking or going to a party again, that was-

 

fuck.

 

_toni._

 

cheryl sits up wildly, looking beside her to see her bed empty of any pink hair or a small body, and she winces at the way her head throbs painfully before she glances around the room quickly-

 

right there. on the red, velvet couch next to her dresser, is little toni topaz, curled up with her serpent jacket over her body to keep herself warm and her head resting on one of cheryl’s pillows, looking peaceful in her slumber, face slack and expressionless. 

 

cheryl’s smiling before she can even begin to process _why._

 

where the hell did antoinette topaz come from? this southside serpent who everyone saw as nothing but scum, but with all the respect in the world for a girl she barely knew, willing to sleep on uncomfortable furniture to give cheryl space after a drunken night out…

 

cheryl blinks away her tears and slowly pushes the covers off herself. she’s still wearing her dress from last night, and she smiles again before she jumps off the bed and makes her way to the en suite bathroom. 

 

she flicks the light on and immediately makes her way to the mirror, and she’s surprised to find her face is clear of any makeup.

 

toni must’ve wiped it off for her while she was passed out. arguably, the least horrible thing she could do to the red haired girl in her unconscious state…

 

that doesn’t erase the fact that she’s now seen cheryl without her mask on. the thought has her palms sweating and her lips trembling as she grips the sink in an effort to calm herself down.

 

_it’s not a big deal, it’s just makeup…_

 

makeup that covered up the bags under her eyes from consecutive restless nights without any sleep. makeup that stopped anyone from getting an insight into just how _tired_ cheryl blossom really was…how fatigued and worn down she truly was from nights spent crying into her pillow over losing her brother, her father…over losing _everything._

 

toni’s seen her without her mask on.

 

cheryl lets out a shaky breath before she reaches behind her back for the zipper of her dress. she pulls it down slowly, lets the dress fall off her shoulders into a heap at her feet before she steps out of it and uses the toilet. once she’s done, she grabs a white, fluffy robe off the hook on the back of the bathroom door. she slips it on, deciding she’ll shower later before she at least brushes her teeth to remove the taste of vodka stagnant in the back of her throat. she washes her face and pats it dry before she takes a deep breath in and nods to herself.

 

she can do this. 

 

she grips the handle of the door and pulls it open, and the sight before her has her stopping short.

 

toni’s awake, up and moving as she slides her serpent jacket back over her shoulders and looks up at the sound of cheryl exiting the bathroom with a stifled yawn.

 

“morning, bombshell.” she manages to get out with a smile. 

 

oh, cheryl could get used to waking up to that smile every morning…

 

“good morning, toni.” she says softly, avoiding the pink haired girl’s gaze.

 

“mind if i use your bathroom?” she hears toni ask. cheryl shakes her head and steps aside, and toni makes her way over to her just as cheryl collapses down onto her bed in an effort to avoid her. toni frowns, but says nothing as she closes the door behind her with a sniff.

 

cheryl collapses backwards onto her bed with a sigh, looking up at the ceiling with a wince as her head pounds painfully.

 

she can remember bits and pieces of last night, and she’s disgusted with herself. she can’t believe she allowed herself to get so drunk in front of toni like that. and the fact that this girl brought her back home and looked after her the whole night…

 

_way to make an impression, cheryl, you really fucking outdid yourself with this one._

 

she feels so idiotic. she’s managed to keep herself together for a year now, but the second a pretty girl comes stumbling into her life, she’s falling apart. she hates it, she hates it, she hates it-

 

she hears the sound of the toilet flushing before the sink is running, and a few minutes later, the door opens and she hears toni step out.

 

cheryl can’t even look at her.

 

something that apparently, doesn’t fly with toni.

 

she’s sitting down beside cheryl with a sigh, her hand reaching out to grip the red haired girl’s as she gives her fingers a gentle squeeze.

 

“i used some of your mouthwash.” toni says simply. cheryl purses her lips.

 

“it’s fine.” she croaks out. toni sighs again, and she gives cheryl’s hand a gentle tug, as if to tell her to sit up. cheryl does so reluctantly, lips trembling and heart racing as toni surprises her by reaching out to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear.

 

“are you? fine, i mean…” toni asks softly. cheryl hesitates, teeth biting down on her bottom lip.

 

no…not really. but she can’t go divulging all of that to toni, can she? hasn’t this girl done enough for her? she spent the night sleeping on a couch, wiping the makeup from cheryl’s face and listening to her drunken woes, cheryl’s not about to unload her sober ones on the girl as well. 

 

yes, her life is a fucking tragedy, but she had no business dragging someone as innocent, someone so purely _good_ as toni topaz into it…

 

“yeah…you shouldn’t have slept on the couch, toni-.”

 

“ah, it’s fine, it was actually kind of comfy. besides, i’ve slept on worse things…” toni trails off, observes her for a few moments, eyes roaming over her face before her grip in cheryl’s hand tightens.

 

“no offence, bombshell, but you really don’t look fine. you know you can talk to me, so why won’t you?” toni says firmly. cheryl can’t hold back the tears welling in her eyes anymore, the first of many splashing down her cheeks as she licks her lips and shakes her head.

 

“i don’t want to burden you with it, toni. it’s too much-.”

 

“yeah, it is too much. too much for you to handle _alone._ so let me help you, cheryl.” toni says softly, giving her a smile that has cheryl’s heart pounding in her ears at the sight of it.

 

she can’t, she can’t unload everything on her. she’s too good, cheryl doesn’t want to contaminate her with the secrets and sins of the blossom family…

 

“cheryl, i want to help…in whatever way i can, in whatever way you _want_ me to.” 

 

and god, there she goes again, willing to do whatever cheryl _wanted_ her to do. it didn’t make sense, at least not to cheryl. she doesn’t understand this girl at all…but she wants to, more than anything.

 

“why is it always about what i want, toni? what about what you want?” cheryl whispers, and to her surprise, toni’s smile fades, hesitation ringing clear in her eyes as she licks her lips and moves her gaze down to cheryl’s. 

 

and somehow, the sight of toni gazing down at cheryl’s lips has her feeling all kinds of brave out of nowhere.

 

“what do _you_ want, toni?” cheryl breathes, taking a chance to lean forward _just_ a little closer. toni inhales sharply before she looks into cheryl’s eyes.

 

“i…really want to kiss you.” toni whispers.

 

_oh god, do it, please do it, i haven’t been able to stop thinking about it for weeks, just do it, toni, please-_

 

“you should do what you want, then.” cheryl’s so close, she can fucking feel toni’s breath on her face, minty fresh from her mouthwash, and toni reaches up to brush her fingers over cheryl’s cheekbone before she’s letting out a shaky exhale.

 

“there’s a lot of things i want. are there a lot of things you want, too?” toni says in a low voice, a slight purr echoing in her words that has a shiver running up cheryl’s spine as she fights back a whimper. 

 

“yes.”

 

“tell me them.”

 

“kiss me first.” cheryl takes the leap, her knees pressing into the mattress as her hands fall on toni’s shoulders to steady herself, and toni’s hands almost automatically grip her waist to hold her still as she looks up into cheryl’s eyes with nothing but desire and lust shining in them. she pulls cheryl down until she’s sitting on her knees, the both of them a little breathless with want, and fuck, cheryl can feel her heart pounding against her chest as toni licks her lips before she’s running her fingers through the side of cheryl’s head, nails scratching at her scalp as her thumb brushes over her cheekbone lightly.

 

“don’t be nervous.” toni murmurs. cheryl purses her lips.

 

“i’m not.” she squeaks. damn her voice to hell for betraying her in this integral fucking moment-

 

“you sure?” toni says with a light laugh, that smirk cheryl can’t help but fucking _adore_ curling up her lips as cheryl gives her a small nod.

 

“i’ve kissed plenty of people before.” not entirely untrue, there’s been a few girls she’s locked herself in a closet with at parties to share a few stolen kisses with in the heat of the moment, and she once made out with reggie mantle as part of a dare, which had resulted in cheryl confirming to herself that she was _definitely_ a lesbian-

 

“then why are you shaking?” 

 

fuck.

 

_open book, cheryl, you’re an open book, and she’s flipping through the pages at hyper speed with no signs of slowing down._

 

she’s shaking because it’s fucking _toni_ , all those girl at those parties had been simple moments of lust and nothing else, but this girl was fucking _different_ and cheryl knows it.

 

“it’s okay...” toni says simply, and cheryl doesn’t even have it in her to argue, she just nods like a troglodyte and waits, her hands gripping toni’s jacket in anticipation before the pink haired serpent curls her hand around the back of cheryl’s neck and finally closes the gap between them. 

 

oh wow.

 

oh _fuck._

 

oh this is different, this is so different than anything she’s ever experienced before-

 

it’s like a spark of electricity hits her veins and courses through her whole body the second toni’s lips make contact with hers. they’re soft, but god, so _full_ , capturing cheryl’s top lip with bruising pressure that has her gripping toni’s jacket tighter to pull her in closer. all she can feel, taste, smell is toni topaz. that mint mouthwash invading her tongue as toni slides her own against cheryl’s languidly in an attempt to deepen the kiss that succeeds. the scent of leather and what smells like cheap body spray, the warm skin of toni’s palm caressing the side of her neck-

 

she’ll never get enough of this. she doesn’t want this to end, she wants toni to keep kissing her until her lips are swollen and she’s out of breath.

 

toni pulls away with a loud smack of her lips, her eyes slowly fluttering open at the same time cheryl’s does, and her nails dig into cheryl’s neck for a brief moment before she’s swallowing thickly and licking her lips.

 

“can i ask you a personal question?” toni croaks out hoarsely, pulling back a little with a slightly dazed look in her eyes, and cheryl swallows down a moan of anguish that the kissing is over for now and simply nods once. it’s the least she owes this girl after everything she did last night, but it also makes her more nervous than the kiss did.

 

“what’s your sexuality?” toni says with a clear of her throat, her eyes roaming over cheryl’s face in wonder. cheryl finds herself lifting her hand up to her face, fingers brushing over her bottom lip before she finally plucks up the courage to answer.

 

“i’m a lesbian. does that matter?” cheryl asks shakily.

 

toni lets out a low groan before she’s suddenly gripping cheryl’s face and kissing her once again, her knees landing on either side of cheryl’s lap before she’s pushing her back to lie flat on the bed, their lips never separating.

 

“not really. just wanted to make sure this wasn’t you experimenting.” she breathes out against her lips before she’s biting down on cheryl’s bottom one teasingly, and cheryl’s hands grip her hips and pull her down flat against her as she bites back a groan and kisses her back.

 

“a-are you…” cheryl’s interrupted by toni’s lips pushing against hers, the words muffled in this desperation from the both of them to get as close as possible to the other, and toni surprises her when she shakes her head and places her hands on either side of cheryl’s head to push herself up.

 

“i’m bisexual. does that matter?” toni teases, and cheryl rolls her eyes and grips the back of her neck to pull her down to her lips once more.

 

“god, not at all.” she breathes, her lips desperately connecting with toni’s, buttery and soft, so pliant and warm-

 

she’s squeezing her thighs together beneath toni’s body, and toni smirks into their next kiss before she’s adjusting herself-

 

she wedges her leg right between cheryl’s, her thigh brushing over cheryl’s barely covered center, and she doesn’t even hold back the loud moan that escapes her from the action, her hips bucking up unconsciously as her head falls back-

 

“wait, wait, i…” toni pulls away suddenly, shaking her head as she moves back, and cheryl whimpers at the loss of contact before she props herself up onto her elbows, a little breathless and _very fucking turned on_ when toni looks up at her with dilated pupils and swollen lips. 

 

“we need to slow down. i…i wanna make sure you’re okay first.” 

 

she wants to make sure cheryl’s okay first.

 

_please don’t, please don’t, cheryl, don’t-_

 

she chokes on a sob, fresh tears falling down her face as she sits up and hides her face from toni in shame, because it’s quickly becoming hysterical, her panted breaths and wailing muffled until toni grips her wrists in an attempt to pull her hands away.

 

“shh, hey…” cheryl can hear toni’s voice trembling, like she’s holding back tears of her own, and before she can do or say anything, toni’s pulling her into her lap and holding her close, one hand gripping the back of her neck and the other wrapping around her waist tightly. 

 

cheryl buries her head into toni’s neck and just lets herself cry, a whole year of loneliness and despair building up inside her, except this time…fuck, this time, _someone’s_ holding her, someone’s attempting to keep her together, someone’s actually giving a fuck and _caring_ about her…

 

“i’m s-sorry, it's just...no one's cared about me in the l-longest time, i-.”

 

“hey, shh, don’t apologize, bombshell. just breathe, okay? i’m right here.” 

 

oh god. verbal vomit. it’s building inside her chest, inescapable despite how hard she tries to swallow it down along with her tears-

 

_don’t you dare, don’t you fucking dare say anything about that box-_

 

“i…i bought a collar.” cheryl breathes out into her ear. 

 

she feels toni freeze in her arms, the grip on her neck tightening for a split second, and cheryl hears toni inhale sharply, can feel her pulse suddenly thundering against cheryl’s ear quickly-

 

fuck. fuck, fuck, why did she open her mouth, why did she-

 

“a collar…to like, wear? for yourself?” toni says in a hollow voice in her ear. cheryl feels her mouth get dryer and dryer with each passing second as she grips onto the back of toni’s serpent jacket and simply nods into her hair.

 

“yes.” she whispers. toni’s still frozen against her, and cheryl has no idea what’s about to happen. toni’s probably seconds away from throwing her off and running out of this room at top speed to get as far away from her craziness as possible, and fuck, cheryl doesn’t blame her one fucking bit-

 

“show me.” toni breathes.

 

cheryl’s heart kind of just…stops.

 

she tightens her hold around toni, a shuddering breath entering her lungs and making her shiver as toni suddenly brushes her lips against cheryl’s ear.

 

“show me, cheryl.” she says, her tone a lot firmer now, but still shaking slightly. 

 

okay…okay, she can do this, it’s fine, she’s cheryl fucking blossom, she wasn’t afraid of anything, she can _do this._

 

she pulls back from toni, looking into her eyes to see her smiling as she reaches up and brushes cheryl’s tears away from her face.

 

“you’re gonna explain, right?” she asks softly. cheryl licks her lips before she nods once, and despite everything in her fucking brain telling her not to do this…

 

her heart’s telling her she can trust toni. 

 

and fuck, she hasn’t had someone in her life that she can trust for a long time. 

 

“good, then show me.” toni says, her tone firm, but not unkind, and cheryl manages to push herself up off the bed with her legs trembling like crazy. she can barely keep herself upright as she falls down to her knees and reaches under her bed to grab the box.

 

she slides it out, stares down at it for the longest time before she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath in.

 

she can talk to toni about this…she can.

 

she exhales shakily before lifting the box up onto the bed, and toni’s gaze moves down to it, eyes wide and lips pursed as she clenches her fists and watches cheryl clamber her way back up onto the bed with shaking limbs. 

 

cheryl hesitates before she slides those perfectly manicured nails under the lid of the box and opens it, setting the lid aside before she looks up at toni to gauge any sort of emotion out of her reaction. 

 

toni looks down at it, but doesn’t make a move to touch it, her eyes moving from the collar up to cheryl before she’s…she’s smiling.

 

“i won’t touch it. it’s not mine to touch.” she says softly.

 

_how…she’s not real, is she? that’s what this is, my grief has finally made me crazy and i’ve conjured her up in my mind like some delusional harpy-_

 

“i’d like to see it, though. if you’re willing to share that with me.” cheryl stares at her for the _longest_ time, sees nothing but kindness shining in her eyes before she purses her lips and nods, looking down at the box before she’s lifting the collar out of it with shaking hands.

 

and of course, toni notices. her hands move under cheryl’s, making sure not to touch the collar as she helps her hold it up, and cheryl stares down at the black leather and lambskin for a few moments in wonder before she looks up at toni hesitantly. toni’s eyes are still on the collar, and cheryl watches her throat bob as she swallows.

 

“why did you…” toni trails off, looking up at cheryl in wonder, and the red haired girl lets out a breathless laugh, because she has no idea how to even begin to explain this to her.

 

“i…i don’t even know. i just…i need something to keep me tethered to the ground. i feel like i’ve been losing my mind ever since everything with jason and my father happened…nothing in my life is good, and every day was… _is_ a struggle to stay in control. i thought…i thought it could-.”

 

“help you feel in control.” toni finishes for her knowingly. cheryl whimpers, bottom lip trembling before she catches it with her teeth and simply nods. 

 

“cheryl, these things are usually used in like, bdsm relationship, you know that, right?” toni says with a frown, looking up at her with a raised eyebrow. cheryl closes her eyes and nods once as more tears falling down her face.

 

“i know, i know that, i haven’t even worn the damn thing yet because i’m scared of what it’s associated with, but…it’s not so much about that for me…i mean, it could be, but it’s more like-.”

 

“an anchor.” toni says, finishing her thoughts again with all the simplicity of someone commenting on the weather instead of talking about a collar or cheryl’s fragile mental state. cheryl nods again, her eyes opening to see toni looking down at the collar in her hands once again. she breathes in deeply before she’s licking her lips and looking up at cheryl with a smile.

 

“okay.” she breathes out. 

 

cheryl blinks at her in confusion.

 

okay? what does she mean by that? what-

 

“okay? what…” cheryl feels her throat seize up when toni guides her hands into lowering the collar back down into the box, still without touching it before she’s lifting her hand up to cradle cheryl’s cheek in her palm.

 

“i’m gonna ask you again, cheryl. what do _you_ want?” toni asks firmly. cheryl swallows, takes the moments toni gives her to think of a proper answer before she gives one.

 

“i want to feel in control. like everything that’s happened in my life in the last year hasn’t got the power to choke me, beat me, _hurt_ me…i want to feel strong, toni. i…god, i don’t want to feel like _this_ anymore. i want the freedom to be who i am without fear, without sadness…” cheryl says in a rush with a shaky exhale, more tears falling and catching onto toni’s thumb. she wipes it away easily before she frowns and leans just a little closer in to her.

 

“and…do you want someone to help you with that?” toni asks softly. cheryl’s eyes fall down to her lips before they move back up to her eyes.

 

_yes, yes, i need **you** , and the truth is, i don’t even fucking know why-_

 

“i…i don’t know-.”

 

“i’ll rephrase it then. do you want _me_ to help you with that?” toni says more firmly. 

 

 _tell her. tell her, cheryl, tell her just how much you **crave** her-_

 

“yes.” is all that she can muster the courage to say. 

 

and toni takes a shuddering breath in before she suddenly leans in, taking cheryl’s face in her hands and kissing her as gently and as softly as she possibly can despite the arousal pounding through the both of them. 

 

“i told you…whatever you want me to be, cheryl.” toni breathes against her lips. 

 

wait…she’s agreeing? she’s…no, cheryl must’ve misheard, that’s-

 

“toni, are…are you serious?” cheryl whispers, pulling back to look into her eyes for any sort of sarcasm or jester to belittle cheryl in her current state, but all she finds is excitement and what looks like genuine care as she brushes her thumb over cheryl’s bottom lip with a nod. 

 

“yeah. i mean, am i a little shocked, yes, but hell, life is short and i think whatever energy we’ve got between us would be a stupid thing to ignore. i _like_ you, cheryl. not just because you’re a pretty face, but because you’ve got all these layers to you that nobody else seems bothered to pull back, and fuck, for the life of me, i can’t understand _why._ maybe people are afraid of you, afraid of your family, but _i’m not._ i want to help, in whatever way i can, and if it’s by helping you figure all of… _this_ out, then i’m down.” toni says with a light laugh and a simple smile that has cheryl whimpering before she crashes her lips against toni’s once again, pulling her as close as she possibly can by the lapels of her jacket.

 

toni kisses her back just as passionately, lips moving against cheryl’s as if that’s all they were born to do, resting between cheryl’s legs as if she was made to lay there, and fuck, cheryl has no idea how long they’re kissing for, but her lips are swollen and definitely bruised when toni finally pulls away with a breathless gasp.

 

“can i ask you something?” toni whispers, her voice low as she pulls back to look cheryl in the eyes, and cheryl simply nods once to let her know she can, still dazed and at a complete and utter loss for words.

 

god, is this actually _happening?_

 

“why me? why choose me to help you with all…this?” toni finishes off with a wince, like she feels stupid for narrowing everything that’s happened in the last twenty four hours to just ‘this’, narrowing a fucking collar and the idea of whatever lies ahead in their future as just ‘this’.

 

to cheryl’s surprise, the answer comes to her quite easily.

 

“you make me feel safe. i know it’s weird because i barely know you and it’s probably a stupid thing to say, but…it’s just how i feel when i’m around you. like i don’t need to pretend to be someone else when i’m with you…i can just be myself.” cheryl says truthfully, voice shaking and heart racing, and toni takes a few moment to process her words with wide eyes, chocolate brown and shining before she chuckles and shakes her head.

 

“funny thing is, i kind of feel the same way about you. everyone at that school sees the serpent jacket and thinks i’m nothing but a troublemaker…someone to steer clear of. but from day one, you kind of just walked over to us without a single ounce of fear, and i was hooked, line and sinker. you made me feel like you saw beneath the leather and the snakeskin to see that underneath it all…i’m human, just like everyone else. kinda crazy how that works out, huh?” 

 

cheryl inhales sharply, the smile spreading across her bare lips uncontainable before she licks them and leans her head up just a little to brush her lips over toni’s once more.

 

god, she’s absolutely fucking _intoxicating…_ screw alcohol, screw cigarettes, toni topaz was quickly becoming her new favorite addiction.

 

“toni, are you sure about this?” she whispers, wanting to just _make sure_ that toni understand what exactly she was getting herself into. toni lets out a light laugh before she’s gripping cheryl’s robe and pulling her back until they’re both sitting up, her hand moving up with a sharp inhale to brush across cheryl’s jawline, and the red haired girl holds her breath as toni inches close enough to brush her nose against cheryl’s lightly.

 

“about _this?_ not at all. but about _you?_ definitely. you need an anchor, cheryl, and i get that. as much as i’m…confused and a little in awe of all of… _this,_ i wanna be that for you. it’s just gonna be a learning process for the both of us, i guess.” toni murmurs. cheryl presses her forehead against toni’s before she nods once, tongue darting out to wet her lips. toni watches her do so with hooded eyes before she looks back up at cheryl.

 

“what happens now?” cheryl croaks out. toni sighs before she suddenly grabs the box and shoves the lid back over it, her other hand reaching into her pocket for her phone as she looks at the time.

 

“now…i have to go. i’ve gotta check on sweets and fangs, and then i’m working a shift at the whyte wyrm until ten tonight. saturday's are always busy.” toni says with a frown. 

 

“whyte wyrm?” cheryl asks in confusion. toni simply shrugs.

 

“it’s a bar on the southside, serpent territory, it’s where i work. but after my shift, do…do you want me to come back tonight, so we can talk about this some more?” toni says softly, gripping her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. cheryl nods quickly.

 

“yes, please.” she says lightly, smiling as toni chuckles and nods once.

 

“then i’ll be here. but to start us off…” toni hesitates, her eyes moving back down to the box, and she stares at it for a long time before she speaks again.

 

“the collar is yours, right?” toni asks. cheryl frowns, but nods once in confirmation.

 

“yes.” toni takes a shuddering breath in before she sets her eyes on cheryl.

 

“then don’t touch it. not until i get back.” 

 

oh.

 

oh fuck.

 

well, toni slid into that role quite quickly. they’re starting from now? 

 

_fuck…_

 

cheryl bites down on her bottom lip, begs the throbbing between her legs to dissipate as toni reaches over to brush away the remaining tears still marking her cheeks.

 

“cheryl?” she says firmly, clearly wanting verbal confirmation of her answer.

 

“understood.” cheryl breathes out shakily. toni nods once before she leans in to press a small kiss to cheryl’s lips.

 

“good. i’ll be back before you know it, i promise. and we’ll talk about everything, where you're at, how you're feeling, physically, _emotionally._ and we'll establish some…rules. i don’t want you to be scared of this, cheryl…if it doesn’t end up helping, we can look at something else.” toni says with a small smile. cheryl smiles before she presses another kiss to toni’s lips, not wanting her to leave at all…

 

toni just has a way of making her feel like nothing she says or does could be used against her as grounds for judgement. she's been so...open this whole morning, and even last night...

 

“why are you being so understanding, toni?” cheryl whispers, looking into the pink haired serpent’s eyes, and blinking in surprise when toni laughs lightly and cocks an eyebrow at her.

 

“i might have…a little experience in this area. very little.” toni says with a grin, bringing her index and thumb close together metaphorically. cheryl stares at her in shock.

 

she’s…fuck, okay, so she’s done this before, she’s…

 

“you…okay, yeah, i…wait, you have?” cheryl manages to stutter out. toni’s laugh is louder this time as she shakes her head in amusement.

 

“a story for when i get back. for now, spend your day relaxing, cheryl. something tells me we’ve got a long night ahead of us.”


	5. in more ways than one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoooooof this is literally like 11K of angst and emotional shit mixed with smut, and damn...anyway enjoy it! let me know what you think! next update might be awhile cause black friday is gonna kick my ass i'm sure of it, i'll do my best regardless!
> 
> tw for talks of suicide and death

cheryl’s ears stay pricked for the sound of a motorcycle from well before toni is even supposed to finish her shift at the whyte wyrm.

 

the entire day is spent in a fretful state, cheryl trying to busy herself with homework, but ultimately finding it absolutely impossible to concentrate on anything other than the fact that toni was going to be coming over tonight to discuss…what, exactly? 

 

how does cheryl even begin to explain this? she has no idea what she’s getting herself into at all, and she’s glad toni has at least some semblance of an idea of what exactly it is they’re doing, but cheryl has absolutely no clue, and it fucking frustrates her.

 

that collar was supposed to help her feel in control, but all its left her feeling is more confused. especially since toni told her not to touch it, which has pretty much left her in the most _desperate_ state for release she’s ever felt before. she hasn’t been able to stop squeezing her thighs the entire fucking day. the way toni told her not to touch it, it had left cheryl wondering what that tone of voice would sound like in the bedroom with toni's fingers thrusting into her.

 

she’s been tempted many times to ignore the pink haired serpent and pull the collar out of its box, but there’s something special in waiting for toni to come back before she does. they were in this _together_ now, and cheryl doesn’t want to jeopardize that. 

 

so she busies herself with homework and draws herself a bath and even cooks some pasta for herself, leaving a bowl for toni in case she returns from her shift hungry, and when she’s done cleaning out her bedroom, she hesitates before she files down her nails and repaints them in order to pass the time, her mind focused on making sure each nail is the same size instead of what her fingers would feel like pressing against toni's body. she contemplates putting makeup on, but decides against it. toni’s already seen her face bare, it just seems like a waste of makeup.

 

_jesus, when have you **ever** gone a day without makeup?_

 

it’s definitely a first for her, and it’s also been a long time since she’s spent an entire day at home, but she’s too wound up to even think about leaving the house. her phone remains silent, the only notifications that come through are ones of people posting pictures from the party last night, but not a single person messages her asking if she’s okay.

 

not that she cares. she’s used to it at this point.

 

and it’s strange, because it’s often a thing cheryl tells herself so she doesn’t feel the true pain, the true _loneliness_ of it all, but this time, when she thinks it…she finds she truly doesn’t care at all. she’s too excited about tonight to feel upset or sad about her friends and their complete and utter lack of care for her.

 

toni cares. and right now, that’s kind of enough for her.

 

ten o’clock comes and goes, and cheryl finds herself getting more and more impatient with each passing minute, but when the sound of a motorcycle echoes out, slightly muffled from her closed window, she still jumps up and runs down the stairs with a grin on her face before she can even begin to think about admonishing toni for being fifteen minutes late. 

 

cheryl stops short at the door with a breathless pant and waits for the knock. it comes ten seconds later, and she quickly fixes her hair in the mirror by the door. she winces at how bare her face is, exposing every inch of pale and freckled skin, but she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath in.

 

it’s hard for her to throw away the need for perfection, the need to have every inch of her face covered in foundation and mascara and eyeliner, and god, that fucking red lipstick that stains her lips so easily…her entire life has revolved around having the perfect image. flat stomach, toned thighs, full breasts, flawless skin, long thick hair…hard for her to throw away the need to cover herself, to hide her imperfections from the world before her lest they use them as an excuse to attack her more than they already have.

 

but toni wasn’t _like them._ she wasn’t going to attack cheryl for her imperfections, was she? she wouldn’t slap her across the face for having a hair out of place like her mother has, wouldn’t squeeze her arm to the point where her pale skin was marked with black and blue for eating a muffin instead of an apple for breakfast like her father used to?

 

_stop thinking, cheryl. just open the door._

 

stop thinking…

 

she exhales shakily before she throws the door open with a smile.

 

toni’s returning grin is almost heart stopping, clear fatigue quickly replaced with excitement, and cheryl’s breath is knocked right out of her at the sight before her.

 

her pink hair falls in soft curls over her shoulders and back, a halo braided around her head, but cheryl’s surprised to see her face is free of makeup as well, glowing underneath the porch light almost blindingly. toni’s wearing a black buttoned up vest top that cheryl thinks is sleeveless, but her serpent jacket is covering her arms from view. that, however is not what’s caught her attention. 

 

she’s wearing a pink and black plaid skirt that sits mid-thigh, but fuck, cheryl can _see_ the garter stockings peeking underneath it, her combat boots as scuffed and dirty as ever as she steps over the threshold carrying a helmet and a bag over her shoulder. 

 

oh what her mother would think, having this girl with pink hair and dirty boots with a southside serpent jacket on full display enter the illustrious blossom estate…

 

“hey, bombshell. sorry i’m late, told you saturday’s are busy.” 

 

cheryl tries to swallow down the nerves quickly building in her throat. she feels severely underdressed now, wearing simple black jeans and her iconic ‘bitchy’ shirt, and she runs her fingers through her hair in an attempt to flatten down any strays as she smiles. 

 

“that’s okay, toni. are you hungry?” cheryl asks, stepping aside to let toni enter, and she’s surprised when the pink haired girl lets out a loud groan and nods furiously. 

 

“god, yes.” cheryl chuckles, and she hesitates before she reaches down to take toni’s hand in her own. the immediate warmth that spreads through her body has her shivering, but she pushes it down and leads toni toward the kitchen, the girl trailing behind her with her boots clomping on the ground loudly.

 

“come, i made some pasta. i’ve already eaten, but i figured you’d be hungry after working all day.” cheryl tells her quickly, her heart seizing when toni gives her hand a gentle squeeze. 

 

“you’re a godsend, cheryl blossom.” cheryl rolls her eyes, but smiles and tries to ignore the way her cheeks burn as she opens the microwave and hands toni the leftovers. toni takes it with a muttered thanks as cheryl opens the drawer to the right and hands her a fork, watching with a smile as she twirls the pasta strands in the fork and digs in hungrily. she leans against the counter just as cheryl does and looks up at her with a raised eyebrow.

 

“how was work?” cheryl asks softly. toni chuckles, but she only replies once her mouth is no longer full of food.

 

and cheryl finds herself thinking it’s quite polite for a girl raised on the southside. 

 

misconceptions bred only from the adults in this town. the southside was dirty, corrupted, rotten…

 

this girl was everything but those things.

 

“terrible, as usual. how was your day?” toni asks with a smile that’s definitely more cheeky than it should be before she’s taking another bite of her food. cheryl inhales sharply before she purses her lips and nods.

 

“long. very long.” she says with a nervous laugh. toni watches her for a few moments, and she nods before she takes a few more bites of her food, cheryl watching her somewhat impatiently in silence until she sets the bowl on the countertop. she grabs a paper towel from the counter and quickly wipes her mouth before she looks at cheryl with a smirk.

 

“so…i have a lot of questions. i actually spent most of today distracted, just thinking about…everything.” toni says with a chuckle, running her fingers through her hair as she does.

 

fuck, so she’s not the only one, _thank god-_

 

“good lord, me too. whatever questions you have, toni, i’ll do my best to answer them. i’m…in a much better state of mind than i was this morning. i’m sorry you had to see me so emotional-.” cheryl starts rambling, unable to control herself, but toni surprises her by reaching out and running her hand up and down cheryl’s arm comfortingly.

 

“hey, what did i say about apologizing for stuff like that? it’s fine, cheryl. i might not know the full details, but i think you’ve spent enough time repressing your emotions. i _want_ you to be open with me, comfortable with me, enough so that opening up and being emotional isn’t an issue, okay?” toni says softly. cheryl’s teeth gnaw at her bottom lip in hesitation before she simply lets her truth run free.

 

“i…i don’t know how to do that, toni. i just…don’t know.” she finishes somewhat lamely, the blush rising in her cheeks once again as she drops her gaze down to her gucci slipper covered feet. her parents never taught her how to do this, how to form relationships and friendships and talk to people about how she was feeling. the blossoms never showed any weakness, that's what her mother always told her...

 

she feels warm fingers tuck under her chin before her head is being lifted up, and toni meets her eyes with a gentle smile before she purses her lips and nods.

 

“let’s go to your room. have a cigarette or two and just…talk. okay?” cheryl nods numbly against toni’s hand, and the pink haired girl smiles before she takes cheryl’s hand in her own and leads her back out to the foyer and up the stairs, cheryl's eyes boring into that of the green serpent etched into the leather of the jacket over the girl's back. when they enter cheryl’s room, toni drops her bag and her helmet in the corner before she looks around with a frown. when she spots the ashtray by the window, she grins and turns to look at cheryl with a raised eyebrow and a smirk, and the red haired girl rolls her eyes and shrugs.

 

“it’s the only place in the house covered by trees, so i never needed to worry about my mother and father seeing me. not that that’s an issue anymore…come.” cheryl grabs her pack of cigarettes off her dresser and pulls out two, handing one to toni, who chuckles and takes it from her before she pulls a zippo lighter out of the pocket of her serpent jacket. they sit on the window sill as cheryl pushes the window open, a sigh escaping her before she sits down and draws her knees up to her chest. toni does the same opposite her, choosing to sit cross legged instead, the skirt somehow long enough to hide her legs from view, which cheryl both curses and praises. she’s not sure she’d be able to contain herself if toni’s legs were exposed to her right now…but god, they were _beautiful_ legs…

 

the both of them marvel at the cool breeze that comes through the window before toni shields her lighter from it to light her cigarette. once she’s done, she hands the lighter to cheryl, who does the same and takes that all too intoxicating first breath in as she flicks the lighter shut. 

 

it’s quiet for a few moments before toni finally talks.

 

“did you touch it? the collar, i mean.” she asks huskily. cheryl feels goosebumps erupt up her spine, that same tone from earlier creeping out of the girl before her, but she ignores it and licks her lips before she shakes her head.

 

“no…i wanted to, but i didn’t.” toni purses her lips before she takes a drag from her cigarette and simply nods.

 

“good.” cheryl swallows thickly and raises the cigarette to her lips before she replies.

 

“you said you have questions…” she murmurs, inhaling the smoke and watching toni carefully as she does. the pink haired girl smiles before she nods.

 

“yeah, i do. but the truth is, i have no idea how to even ask them. and you said yourself that you’re not even sure why you bought the collar, right?” cheryl frowns before she nods once truthfully, and toni scoffs and shakes her head before she looks up at cheryl with a shrug. 

 

“part of me understands the whole anchor thing, but another part of me is just confused about how feeling in control comes into play with it.” toni says firmly, brow furrowed as she looks at cheryl, who lets out a shaky breath before she wets her dry lips with a flick of her tongue and shakes her head.

 

“i don’t know either, but…i…i do know one thing.” she breathes. toni waits patiently, watching her with intense eyes as she takes a drag from her cigarette, and fuck, cheryl’s so sick of all the hesitation running through her mind right now, but it’s just…

 

she can’t tell toni that she actually…

 

_just say it, cheryl, you’ve already embarrassed yourself by telling her you **have** the damn thing in the first place…_

 

“i...i liked you telling me not to touch it. i know it doesn't make sense, but _that_ made me feel in control. the whole day it’s all i wanted to do but…” as cheryl trails off, toni’s eyes suddenly widen as realization dawns on her slowly.

 

“you controlled yourself by not touching it because i told you to.” she says hoarsely. cheryl swallows the lump in her throat before she nods, her fingers twitching before they reach up to scratch her neck absentmindedly. she takes a drag of her cigarette and watches as toni runs her fingers through her hair, slowly nodding to herself as she does.

 

“so…you want me to control when you wear it or not?”

 

there’s that word again. 

 

**_control._ **

 

it plays such an integral goddamn role in cheryl’s life, but the truth is, _she’s never had it._ her whole life she’s been a puppet, to her mother and father, to their ideas of perfection and the highest of standards, a puppet to the school and it’s social ladder, queen bee at the top to nothing but an ant at the bottom overnight…

 

and it’s ridiculous, that toni telling her not to touch the collar means she also has no control over this either, but there was a difference, and it’s so painfully obvious to cheryl, even though it might not be to others.

 

her strings aren’t being pulled with toni. the pink haired girl told her not to touch the collar, but at the end of the day, cheryl herself _chose_ not to do so, too. they were working together at the end of it all, a stark contrast to anything she’s ever had before with her mother and father and even the students at riverdale high. they ordered her around, cheryl expected to obey them like the most loyal soldier, but with toni…everything was a choice, even if it didn’t seem like it.

 

“yes. i know it doesn’t make sense, because i’m giving that control over to you when all i want is control over _myself_ , but…it makes me feel like we’re working together, toni.” cheryl manages to croak out. toni smiles before she reaches out to take cheryl’s hand in her own, her warm fingers interlacing with cheryl’s naturally cold ones easily.

 

“we _are_ working together, cheryl. if that’s what you want, then i’m happy to do it. but if there’s ever something i do that you don’t like, i want you to tell me, and vice versa. this isn’t about me…about me _dominating_ you or anything like that. i know that collars are associated with that kind of thing, but in no way shape or form do i want you to think of this as me trying to have power over you. this is about _helping_ you, in whatever way we can. but…” toni trails off, her brow furrowing, and cheryl merrily stares at her until she finally seems to find the words she’s looking for.

 

“cheryl, you need to learn that there’s some things in life you can’t control. your life, your body, your _mind_ , yes, but sometimes…sometimes the things that happen around us are inevitable. you need to learn how to make all of that background noise, you need to learn how to shift the focus so it’s not about controlling the situation, but controlling how _you_ handle it. do you understand what i’m trying to say?” toni asks softly. cheryl ponders her words, tries to work through the confusion to unscramble the meaning beneath, and she looks at toni with wide eyes before she responds slowly.

 

“i think so…” she murmurs. toni chuckles before she brushes her thumb over cheryl’s knuckles affectionately.

 

“it’s a learning process, cheryl…this whole thing is. we have time, okay?” she reassures her. cheryl exhales shakily before she nods once, and she finds herself looking at toni in wonder as she finishes off her cigarette with a smile.

 

toni said she’s had experience with this before…

 

“you said you’ve done this before…” cheryl echoes her thoughts, watches as toni's smile falls, and she shifts in her seat before she purses her lips and nods once.

 

“a little bit, yeah. i had a similar kind of relationship with a girl last year…she taught me a lot of things about myself, but not in the way you’d think. i learned a lot from my time with her, a lot about kindness and respect. it’s why i want to help you, cheryl. my experience with her gave me a real sense of calmness and stillness…something i think you really need.” she says, sinking back against the wall behind the window sill with a deep sigh. cheryl sniffs once and drags her eyes down to the cigarette burning cherry red between her fingers, the paper slowly fading to black the closer it gets to the filter.

 

“what happened? with her, i mean…” cheryl asks timidly. toni chuckles before she scratches at her jaw absentmindedly and shrugs. 

 

“she was only around for a month or so, backpacking around america. she went back home and left me behind. a situation that was out of my control.” toni emphasizes, looking directly at cheryl as she says those words. cheryl feels a shiver run up her spine, a soft gasp escaping her lips before she simply raises her cigarette to take another drag with a thoughtful hum. 

 

so that’s what toni’s trying to say…

 

she had no control over the girl leaving. but she could control how she felt about it...

 

toni shifts suddenly, clearing her throat and gazing out of the window, but her movement causes her skirt to ride up a little, exposing the garter peeking out on top of a smooth, caramel colored thigh, and cheryl feels her heart rate increase as the throbbing between her legs that’s been going _all day_ intensifies.

 

she swallows dryly and licks her lips before flicking her eyes up to toni.

 

“was…was it a sexual relationship?” she asks in a low voice. toni inhales sharply, her eyes dragging from the trees hanging outside cheryl’s window to the chocolate brown eyes before her, and cheryl can’t even begin to read the thoughts going on behind those equally dark eyes as toni watches her for a few moments before she replies.

 

“yes.” she says simply. 

 

cheryl’s thighs seem to unconsciously clench, and she digs her nails into her calf to stop herself from moaning as she takes one last drag from her cigarette before digging the filter into the ashtray, her eyes on the red embers that are slowly squashed by the pressure of it. 

 

it’s on the tip of her tongue, the knowledge that once the words building inside her leave her mouth, it changes _everything._ but it’s quite clear that she has a problem with keeping her mouth shut around toni, and she doesn’t know if it’s because she feels safe around the pink haired serpent, or because it just feels _so goddamn good_ to finally have someone to talk to freely without judgement.

 

“i’d like our relationship to be sexual…” she manages to croak out, her voice at least two pitches higher despite how strong she tries to sound. she does want this, _she does…_

 

it doesn’t make it any less frightening.

 

toni is completely still, not a single change in her expression, but her eyes narrow slightly as she watches cheryl intently, as if attempting to read her mind or look through her soul, and cheryl doesn’t break eye contact, either, determined to show toni that this is what she wants despite the blush in her cheeks and the slightly ragged way she’s breathing. 

 

“is that what you want?” toni finally asks huskily, cheryl’s eyes drawn to the way toni’s fingers twitch where they’re resting on her thighs. 

 

“yes. is that what you want?” cheryl echoes. 

 

toni’s lips curl into a smile before she licks them once and simply nods.

 

“yes.” she replies. 

 

_don’t move. don’t move a single fucking inch, cheryl._

 

her whole body is vibrating on a level she’s never experienced before, shaking way harder than any groping session with a girl in the pantry or closet of some football player’s home ever did, the steady thrumming in her stomach more intense than anything she’s felt with her own hand down her pants rushing herself to release…

 

“have you had sex before?” toni inquires, eyes dragging down to the way cheryl curls her fingers around her own ankles and squeezes tightly. 

 

cheryl doesn’t reply. she’s scared about her inexperience, scared that toni won’t have the patience with someone who has never felt the touch of another woman between her legs before, never experienced someone _else_ handling her in ways she couldn’t handle herself…

 

“this is only gonna work if we’re honest with each other, cheryl.” toni says hoarsely, but not unkindly or impatiently, and instead of a verbal reply, cheryl simply shakes her head once and stares out of the window, her teeth clamped down on her bare bottom lip anxiously. 

 

it's not that she hasn't wanted to. but riverdale was a small town where talk spread like wildfire, and cheryl was too afraid of her parents finding out to do anything past simple make out sessions in locked closets with girls who were too drunk to even remember her name.

 

“there’s nothing wrong with that, bombshell. especially considering your struggles with your sexuality…don’t be ashamed of it.” 

 

_don’t be ashamed of it._

 

cheryl lets out a shaky breath as toni reaches over to brush her fingers over cheryl’s knuckles in an effort to get her to release her vicelike hold on her ankles, and she swallows thickly before she looks up at toni with a small smile. 

 

“how do you know all these things about me without me even telling you?” she croaks out, willing the tears away with a flutter of her eyelids as toni chuckles and cocks an eyebrow, that signature smirk etched on her face once more.

 

“i’m good at reading people, i guess. but i’ll admit, you’re hard to read. there’s still things i don’t know…things i’d _like_ to know…” she says firmly, eyes trailing over cheryl’s curled up form with eyes that for a second, betray the lust that’s resting within toni topaz’s little frame.

 

and the second cheryl sees it, she knows tonight is not just a night for talking. 

 

_fuck, okay…okay, just breathe, cheryl-_

 

toni must notice either the shift in the room or the stiffness in cheryl's body, because her expression softens and she lets out a tiny sigh.

 

“we can go as slow as you want, cheryl. we don’t have to do this tonight-.”

 

“no, i…i want to, toni. i trust you.” cheryl says despite how much her voice is shaking, and her body suddenly grows very hot under the deep gaze of toni topaz. she does want to do this, it's normal to be nervous for your first time, she knows...

 

god, what will it _be_ like?

 

toni simply watches her for a long moment before she clears her throat and nods once. 

 

“tell me you’re sure first.” she says, her tone not quite demanding, but the bite in it is enough to remind cheryl of when she told her not to touch the collar, enough to leave cheryl shuddering with want as she purses her lips and nods.

 

“i’m sure.” she breathes. again, toni is silent, simply observing her before she suddenly pushes the ashtray further against the window sill, her back straightening as she clears her throat and looks to cheryl intently.

 

“tell me things. things you’ve never told anyone else before. tell me how you’re really feeling, deep down beneath the façade of a girl trying to hold herself together in front of everyone else.” she whispers, her hand moving over cheryl’s before she pulls it away from her ankle to interlace their fingers. 

 

cheryl blanches, an involuntary wince escaping her. she wasn’t expecting that.

 

tell her things she’s never told anyone before? how…how is she supposed to even begin to do that?

 

she hesitates for the longest time, closing her eyes and taking a few moments to simply compose herself.

 

she hasn’t opened up to anyone before, ever. not even jason, despite the fact that he saw most of the things that happened in her life, good or bad…was witness to the years of abuse, both verbal and physical, but cheryl _never_ spoke to him about anything out of fear that either her parents would overhear them, or in a fit of rage at his twin sister, he’d expose her secrets and leave her bare for everyone to see. 

 

“i…” cheryl cuts herself off almost on impulse, and toni simply pushes herself closer, her hand moving up cheryl’s arm to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear.

 

“take your time.” she murmurs with a soft smile. 

 

_god, this girl is too good to be true…_

 

she’s safe here with toni. she knows she is…she can feel that energy emanating from the girl before her, the way she handles cheryl so gently, but not as if she's as fragile as glass...

 

_tell her, cheryl…god, tell her everything you’ve been dying to tell **somebody…**_

 

“i’ve…i’ve felt alone my whole life, toni. even coming into this world with jason, being raised with his warmth right beside me, our parents did everything they could to tear us apart, to have us compete against each other for affection, for love and for praise…jason was the only person who ever made me feel like i was loved by somebody, but even then, i still…i still felt so _alone._ ” cheryl confesses in a heavy breath, tears immediately welling in her eyes before she can stop them. she squeezes toni’s hand, feels the same pressure given back before toni suddenly speaks.

 

“take your slippers off.” she croaks out. cheryl’s eyes snap up to meet hers, but toni’s gaze is unwavering, and cheryl sniffs once before she slides her feet out of the gucci slippers, feeling a little confused as her free hand lifts them off the window sill to rest on the floor beside them.

 

toni says nothing else, merrily waits for cheryl to continue, so the red haired girl takes a deep breath in before she does.

 

“i…i never told him anything about my sexuality. i was so afraid of anyone knowing, even though deep down i _know_ jason never would’ve treated me differently or shunned me simply for liking girls…there was a part of me that kept wondering if one day he’d let something slip…there isn’t a d-day that goes by where i don’t regret telling him. he was my brother, toni…and i loved him more than i’ve ever loved anything in my life. maybe…maybe he wasn’t the saving grace i thought he was, but i still _loved him…_ ” cheryl whispers, more tears falling down her cheeks at the thought of her twin brother's warmth...a warmth she would never feel ever again...

 

toni reaches over, her thumb brushing away the tears delicately before she inhales sharply and licks her lips.

 

“stand up for me?” she asks softly. cheryl’s teeth sink down into her bottom lip, her heart racing before she pushes herself up and off the window sill until she’s standing in front of toni, whose eyes move down and land on her hips.

 

“your belt…” she says simply, fingers brushing over the leather of it before she looks up at cheryl expectantly. 

 

it slowly starts to dawn on cheryl where this is going, and she bites back a whimper before she unhooks the belt and slips it through the loops of her jeans, dropping it down beside her slippers between shaking fingers. 

 

her heart is thundering loudly in her ears as toni stands up as well, a shaky breath escaping her before she simply looks up at cheryl and nods.

 

“keep going.” she says firmly. cheryl licks her lips and sniffs once again before she keeps talking, unable to stop now that she’s started. 

 

“my parents…everyone thought of them as these perfect people, all the money in the world and two obedient children that they _loved_ but god, they were the complete opposite, toni. as soon as they realized that jason was their golden child, they tossed me to the side. they just…stopped caring. and…one d-day, my f-father…he f-found me looking through a m-magazine, and i w-was staring at this picture of a girl in a bikini…” cheryl tries to swallow down the lump in her throat at the memory of clifford ripping the magazine from her hands, screaming at her about deviancy and sin as his hand came crashing down against the back of her thighs, because fuck, she’s so _sick_ of crying in front of this girl, but toni blinks back her own tears as she steps closer, sniffling slightly with emotion.

 

still, she doesn’t make a move to touch her.

 

“take your shirt off, cheryl.” toni whispers. cheryl’s whole body is trembling involuntarily as her fingers grip the bottom of her shirt, her heart pounding against her chest from this mix of emotions that she can’t control at all, anger at her parents, grief over her brother, fear over what was about to be exposed to the girl in front of her, but she closes her eyes and lifts her shirt up and over her head nonetheless, pushing through all of that to feed of the one energy resting dormant in her heart: bravery.

 

the cool breeze from the window hits her bare skin, and she shudders as she drops the shirt down beside the belt and the slippers. 

 

toni still doesn’t make a move to touch her, and her eyes never leave cheryl’s despite the new skin exposed to her, her tongue darting out to wet her lips, and this time, she doesn’t need to tell cheryl to keep going, she just _fucking does._

 

“they b-beat me. mercilessly. day in and day out, for even the smallest of things. speaking out of turn or cursing, or being one m-minute late of c-curfew, while jason was allowed to do…god, _anything and everything._ but i was never jealous or angry at him, toni, i just wanted my p-parents to love me like they loved him.” cheryl whimpers, her arms moving up to cross over her bra clad chest, nails digging into her biceps in an attempt to hide herself, and finally, toni steps forward even closer, but only to grip cheryl’s wrists and pull her arms down and away, a shaky sigh escaping her as her eyes roam over cheryl’s body before meeting her eyes once more.

 

she looks like she's at war with herself, but she lifts her chin high and sniffs back her own tears before she says her next word.

 

“jeans…” she says hoarsely, letting go of cheryl’s arms. cheryl doesn’t even bother holding back the sob that escapes her throat as she unbuttons her jeans and pulls the zipper down, lips trembling as she pushes them down her thighs and calves before she steps out of them and kicks them to the side. 

 

she's so scared...so, so scared but she can't stop now...

 

“when jason died…when my father died and my mother just… _disappeared_ , that f-feeling of loneliness…it only got worse. and i…” the words get stuck in her throat, unable to move past the blockage, more in her mind than her body, and she whimpers and touches the scars on the inside of her right wrist, closes her eyes so she doesn’t have to look at toni’s face when she whispers her next words.

 

“i tried to kill myself. and there’s days…there’s d-days where i still think of killing myself.” the words almost crash around her, deafening her to the sound of toni gasping softly, to the sound of a quiet whimper that escapes the pink haired girl’s throat, and on her own volition, with her eyes still closed, cheryl reaches behind her back and unclips her bra, letting it fall down her arms and onto the floor as her throat goes dry and her lips quake. 

 

she shivers at the wind that hits her from the open window, and she's tempted to cross her arms over her chest again, but she forces herself not to.

 

“open your eyes, cheryl…” toni breathes. cheryl simply shakes her head.

 

she can’t, she can’t see her, she can’t face that pity and that look of sadness that will no doubt be in toni’s eyes when she opens her own and meets her gaze, she _can’t…_

 

“cheryl…” a hand touches her cheek, brushing over the wet, heated skin, and cheryl’s eyes flutter open, tears clinging to her eyelashes to see toni looking at her with her own tears falling down her face, but there isn’t an inch of sadness or pity in her eyes.

 

there's only understanding.

 

that’s what cheryl sees so clearly staring back at her, and she reaches up with a shaking hand to brush toni’s tears away, too, her heart aching at the fact that this girl is crying _for_ her.

 

“don’t cry…” she whispers, a whine escaping her throat when toni simply smiles and presses a kiss to the palm of her hand. 

 

they stare at each other for a long time, toni not moving her eyes down to cheryl’s bare chest for a single moment until cheryl drops her hand from toni’s face, the pink haired girl doing the same before cheryl lets out a shaky breath and says the last thing she needs to confess.

 

“i’m alone, toni. my friends even sometimes fool me into thinking they care, but the truth is…they don’t. and maybe it’s selfish of me to want their attention, to want them to care enough to simply send me a text asking me if i’m okay, but…it’s all i want. it’s all i _crave._ is for someone to just… _care._ ”

 

the confession leaves her lips in a surprisingly steady voice, but it's as emotionless as she feels right now, drained and fatigued over everything she's just confessed. once again, without toni prompting her to, cheryl sinks her teeth into her bottom lip before she hooks her fingers into the elastic of her underwear and pulls them down, stepping out of them easily and taking a second to breathe before she straightens up.

 

she’s completely naked and bare, in more ways than one. 

 

the freedom…god, the absolute and utter _freedom_ coursing through her veins right now. she feels weightless, lightheaded and almost giddy from the truth that’s been stagnant inside her heart for the longest time, unable to be spoken to those she thought she could trust, those she thought cared about her…

 

it’s all out. it’s _finally_ all out in the open…

 

toni’s eyes finally move over her body, drinking in every single inch of her, not a single ounce of judgement in her eyes, and a few moments pass before she steps forward and takes cheryl’s right hand, bringing it up to her lips.

 

she turns her wrist, exposing the scars to her eyes as they roam over the damaged skin with pain, and cheryl closes her own eyes at the touch of toni’s lips to each raised bump of her skin, that plump mouth puckering into the gentlest of kisses to each one.

 

“how do you feel?” toni whispers. cheryl’s eyes flutter open, meeting toni’s to see her watching cheryl carefully, but not unkindly or judgmentally at all.

 

“exposed.” cheryl confesses truthfully, a slight smile turning up her lips as toni returns her small smile with one of her own.

 

“does that scare you?” she asks simply.

 

what a question to ask.

 

“yes…and no.” cheryl replies shakily, but again, not untruthfully, watching as toni uncurls her fingers from around her wrist and lets her go. she steps closer, a hand moving up to brush cheryl’s damp hair away from her sweat soaked neck, and she curls her fingers around the back of it, nails digging slightly before she lets out a shaky breath.

 

“you're so brave, cheryl, so, so brave...thank you for telling me those things.” toni says softly, her eyes moving down to cheryl’s lips before she steps even closer, and cheryl meets her halfway with a whimper, leaning down to capture toni’s lips with her own.

 

the pink haired serpent lets out a moan, her hand fisting in cheryl’s hair lightly as the other grips her waist to pull her closer, and fuck, cheryl’s heart is beating so fast, but fuck, if this doesn’t feel so _fucking right-_

 

she needs this. she needs this more than she needs air, something good to help vanquish all the years of so much _bad-_

 

cheryl reaches out to grip her serpent jacket to take it off when toni suddenly pulls away with a shake of her head.

 

“no. you just exposed so much of your truth to me, cheryl, it’s only fair i do the same.” she whispers with a breathless pant. cheryl looks at her in shock, sees no hesitation in her eyes, but there's fear there, cheryl can see it.

 

toni has her own darkness. and she's willing to expose it to cheryl right now, to pay back that which has been given to her. 

 

cheryl lets out a shaky breath before she nods, and toni smiles as she grips cheryl’s hand in her own and leads her over to her bed. cheryl sits down timidly, feeling a little lost without toni’s lips against her own, and the serpent girl smiles before she takes a deep breath in.

 

“same thing. tell me when.” is all she says, and cheryl gives her the few moments that toni granted her to compose herself, to prepare for what's about to happen as cheryl does the same.

 

she's had her moment. this is about toni now. 

 

she looks into toni’s eyes and smiles, giving her a small nod. toni returns it before she licks her lips and starts talking. 

 

“my dad died when i was really young. a shootout with the cops on a serpent mission gone wrong.” toni murmurs, her eyes never leaving cheryl’s as the red haired girl lets out a little gasp of shock at her words.

 

fuck…she had a feeling toni had a tragic backstory, but to lose your father at such young age…cheryl’s father had been hideous, but that didn’t stop her from crying her eyes out when she found his body hanging from the banister in the maple syrup farm. god… _poor toni…_

 

“i never really got the chance to miss him because i never knew him. not really. i still hang on to the memories i do have of him, though…even if there’s only a few.” toni says softly with a fond smile, and cheryl clears her throat and looks into toni’s eyes before she talks.

 

“jacket.” she rasps, unable to say anything else, the heavy emotions in the room weighing down on her more than she thought they would, and toni complies, reaching up to slip her serpent jacket off her shoulders before she rests it on the dresser instead of dropping it to the floor.

 

a sign of respect. for her father or the gang she's affiliated with, cheryl isn't sure.

 

“my mom…she loved my dad a lot. and when we lost him, she was…fuck, she was inconsolable. not even i could help the pain she felt when he died. and i was young, i didn’t know what being in love felt like, or what losing someone really meant…she started drinking because of it. she started drinking _a lot._ ” toni says firmly, her jaw clenching tightly as she closes her eyes, and fuck, cheryl wants to grab her, hold her close and hug her and tell her how sorry she is, but toni had remained strong while cheryl confessed, and she knows she needs to do the same. 

 

this wasn't a time for comforting. it was a time for confession. for truth, for the both of them.

 

“shoes.” she whispers. toni bends down and pulls down the zippers on the side of her shoes, slipping them off, her height dramatically shortening in a way that would make cheryl laugh if there was anything humorous about their situation as she exhales shakily and keeps talking.

 

“i used to come home from school and find her throwing up in the toilet, or passed out on the bed. there were a few days where i thought maybe she was dead, because no matter how hard i tried to wake her up she just…wouldn’t. she never beat me, but she'd yell a lot...sometimes she blamed me for dad dying, even though it never made sense for her to.” toni blinks rapidly in what cheryl suspects is an effort to dispel her tears, and there’s anger shining in her eyes as cheryl swallows down the lump in her throat and takes a deep breath in.

 

“take your skirt off.” she says in a shaky voice. it's getting more and more difficult not to _do something_ to comfort her, but toni meets her eyes, her expression softening before she reaches for the zipper on the side of her skirt and pulls it down, lets the skirt fall to her feet, and cheryl forces herself to keep looking into toni’s eyes as the pink haired girl bites down on her bottom lip.

 

“i hid her keys, every day before school, so she wouldn’t do something stupid but one day…one day i forgot. and of course, on that one fucking day, she went driving…she was wasted, blood alcohol level five times the legal limit. she…she ran over some kid…” toni’s voice wavers, tears falling down her cheeks as cheryl’s heart completely and utterly _seizes._

 

cheryl closes her eyes, tries to breathe through the pain of hearing toni relive and expose what is probably her deepest, darkest secret, and when she opens them, toni’s shirt is gone as well, her whole body trembling as she sniffs once and keeps talking.

 

“five years old. he died on impact. and my mom, she…she got life in prison. she sends me letters all the time, begs me to come and see her, but…i haven’t seen her in ten years. and i don’t _want_ to see her. she took some innocent kid’s life, cheryl. and part of it is _my_ fault.” toni whimpers, her hands moving behind her back to unclasp her bra before she pulls it off her body and lets it drop, and cheryl’s crying too, unable to stop herself.

 

god, the absolute and utter _guilt_ shining in toni’s eyes right now…cheryl can’t look away, even if she wanted to.

 

this is toni’s truth. and fuck, it’s just as heartbreaking as cheryl’s.

 

two broken girls, trying their best to simply _heal_ from all the crap life has thrown their way…

 

what an inevitable and complete and utter example of kismet.

 

“maybe…maybe that’s why i latched onto that foreign girl…she was something new, something temporary that didn’t know who i was and didn’t care enough to know. and she was exciting, introducing me to all these new things that left me wanting more. and then she just…left. and all i felt was _empty._ just hollow, like nothing was there where my heart is supposed to be. and i promised myself after she left me high and dry without even a note telling me she was gone that i would never, _ever_ be that cruel to use someone like that, to _hurt_ someone the way she hurt me. that whatever relationship i got in in the future…it would be _different._ different from the one with her, or the one with my mom...it would be _good._ ” toni says firmly, her hands fiddling with the garters as she unsnaps them and pulls the stockings down along with her underwear, leaving her just as naked and exposed as cheryl.

 

in more ways than one.

 

“i guess we’re more similar than we realized, cheryl. i’ve felt alone my whole life, too.” toni whispers. 

 

cheryl closes her eyes, finally realizes where that look of understanding in toni’s eyes comes from, and she feels toni’s warmth enter her personal space before she opens her eyes and looks up in complete and utter awe of the girl in front of her.

 

full breasts and the most perfect, toned stomach…dark caramel skin that almost shined beneath the light above them…curved hips and strong thighs that cheryl wanted nothing more than to sink her teeth into…

 

toni…toni was so much more than just a southside serpent with pink hair…so much more than what those idiots at riverdale high saw her to be…

 

she was brave, broken, beautiful…absolutely _divine_ in every sense of the word.

 

“thank you, toni.” cheryl whispers. toni smiles and reaches down to wipe away cheryl’s tears from her cheeks, the red haired girl doing the same to toni before the southside serpent leans down to kiss her, plump lips insistent against cheryl’s own. 

 

“lay down.” she croaks out against her lips, and cheryl groans against her as she slowly leans back, the pink haired girl chasing after her until her naked body is resting on top of her.

 

both girls moan at the feeling of skin against skin, this need to be close to one another, to feel something _good_ after a lifetime of bad overtaking the both of them, toni’s hands skimming along her sides before she pulls away breathlessly to look into cheryl’s eyes.

 

“if you wanna stop at any point, cheryl, you tell me. you’re in control tonight, okay?” she whispers. cheryl purses her lips and nods once before she snakes a hand around the back of toni’s neck and pulls her down to meet her lips once more. 

 

fuck, she has absolutely _no idea_ what she’s even feeling anymore, a mixture of sadness and grief and lust and desire, all swirling inside her heart and her stomach, but she’s never wanted something _more._

 

for toni to tell her those things…for her to trust cheryl with something like that…

 

this is the person she wants to give herself to for the first time. she knows it in her heart.

 

toni’s hands move over her breasts, taking their greedy handful and squeezing, and cheryl’s head falls back against the bed with a loud groan, her hips bucking upwards subconsciously as toni leaves a trail of kisses down her jaw and to her neck.

 

her teeth scrape over the skin of her pulse point before she bites down, sucking the skin between her lips harshly, and cheryl whimpers and claws her nails down toni’s back, pulling her impossibly closer as the throbbing between her legs just gets worse and worse as the pain and grief slowly morphs into nothing but pure lust-

 

they both need this now. to be close to one another, to touch each other, to feel something _better_ than what they've gotten so far in life...

 

toni hisses in pain in her ear before she bites down on her earlobe, hands squeezing once again and causing cheryl to whine. her hands move down, over toni’s backside to squeeze the flesh there hungrily, and toni groans into her ear before she suddenly lets go and reaches behind her back for cheryl’s hands, pushing them up above her head and pinning them there. her lips attack cheryl’s neck once more, the red haired girl panting for breath as she squeezes her eyes shut and pushes against toni’s hold. she feels the pink haired serpent smirk against her skin before she pulls up to look cheryl in the eyes, her lips swollen and her eyes crazed with lust.

 

“fuck, you’re so beautiful…” toni whispers, her fingers trailing down cheryl’s pinned arms to brush the hair sticking to her forehead back gently, and cheryl feels her heart almost combust as toni silences her little whimper with a bruising kiss, her hands returning to cheryl’s chest to squeeze once more before she ducks her head down and kisses her way toward them.

 

cheryl’s back arches off the bed the second toni’s mouth closes around a nipple, legs flailing a little before toni grips her thighs with strong hands and lifts them up and around her waist, bringing their bodies impossibly closer, teeth pulling on a pink, rosy bud before she soothes the sting with her tongue, and fuck, cheryl’s close to exploding already, she can’t take this much longer-

 

“toni, fuck!” the curse escapes her involuntarily, but there’s no penelope or clifford to whack her across the face for it, and she can’t help but let out a little laugh, her fingers raking through toni’s hair as the girl continues lathering her chest with kisses and bites that leave her brow furrowed and her body begging for more. 

 

toni pulls her lips away with a loud pop before she moves to the other breast, paying the same attention to it as her nails rake down cheryl’s stomach and dig into the skin lightly. she curls her arm around cheryl’s back and lifts her off the bed slightly to give her more access to her chest, and cheryl happily goes along with her, body aching for toni to move just a little lower-

 

instead, toni adjusts herself and moves until she’s sitting on the bed and cheryl’s sat firmly in her lap, her center brushing against toni’s stomach and pulling out the loudest moan yet from her as her legs squeeze around toni’s waist. toni’s nails scratch down her back as she returns her lips to cheryl’s chest with a smile, moving up to her neck to kiss and suck and bite as many times as she pleases. cheryl grips pink hair between her long fingers and grinds her hips down, and toni growls against her skin before she’s cupping a hand around cheryl’s neck and pulling her down for a heated kiss, all teeth and lips as she lowers cheryl to lay down at the foot of the bed once more. 

 

she pulls on cheryl’s bottom lip with her teeth, eliciting a groan from the girl beneath her before she finally moves her hand down cheryl’s body, fingers dancing across her skin before-

 

cheryl’s back snaps off the bed with a loud cry as toni’s fingers move through her folds, circling her clit a few times before repeating the process, and fuck, cheryl can barely breathe, her body hot and sweaty, it feels like toni is _everywhere-_

 

“toni! god, don’t stop, please don’t stop!” cheryl groans, whimpering as toni buries her face into cheryl’s neck to suck a few more dark spots into her skin. cheryl cups the back of toni’s neck to pull her closer, mouth agape with heavy breaths before toni’s teeth scrape over her jawline.

 

“what do you want me to do, cheryl? you’re in control, remember?” she pants, her fingers teasing cheryl further until cheryl’s squeezing her eyes shut and simply saying the first thing that comes to her mind, the first thing that she’s wanted for the _longest_ time.

 

“i want…your mouth, your-god, toni, please!” cheryl’s incoherent, floating in a completely different headspace as she babbles, and she isn’t even sure she’s making sense, but toni suddenly whines into her ear before pressing a kiss to it.

 

“you want me to eat you out, is that what you’re saying?” she moans out, the thought clearing turning her on, and cheryl doesn’t even hold back the shudder that rips through her body at those words as she nods furiously for confirmation, unable to speak a single sentence into existence. toni presses a single kiss to her lips before she’s moving down cheryl’s body, lips attaching to every inch of skin for a single moment before she moves on until she’s laying flat on her stomach with cheryl’s thighs resting over her shoulders. 

 

she doesn’t waste a second, thumbs spreading cheryl’s folds before a hot and heavy tongue drags over them, and cheryl’s heels dig into toni’s back, her own lifting off the bed as a soft cry escapes her.

 

it can’t possibly be allowed to feel this fucking _good-_

 

toni’s tongue is fucking magic with the way it moves through every inch of cheryl, licking up every ounce of arousal before she’s wrapping her lips around cheryl’s clit and sucking, and cheryl’s gripping the sheets between her fingers in one hand and fisting the other into toni’s hair, a groan escaping the pink haired girl when she pulls slightly on the roots. 

 

“you taste fucking amazing, bombshell.” toni croaks out from between her legs, pulling a light laugh out of the red haired girl as she looks down and brushes toni’s hair back from her face with a smile that’s quickly ripped away when toni moves a hand up to plunge two fingers straight into her heat.

 

her tongue continues licking every inch of her as her fingers curl up and find cheryl’s g-spot, and every inch of her body is soaked in sweat, shaking and trembling with each heavy pant and moan that escapes her-

 

god, this is perfect, this is amazing, this is everything she's been waiting for-

 

“are you close, baby?” toni breathes against her. cheryl can barely even nod in confirmation, her hips bucking upwards and almost smacking toni in the face as she smooths a hand over cheryl’s stomach.

 

“i can tell, the way your clenching around my fingers…” toni lets out a moan against her that has cheryl’s stomach twisting, the heat building and building as her fingers thrust in and her tongue flicks over her clit over and over again-

 

tears are building in her eyes, her hands reaching for _something_ , and toni takes her left hand and interlaces their fingers before her soft voice is calling out through the haze that’s currently warping cheryl’s mind into mush.

 

“let go, cheryl. it’s okay.” she says softly, her fingers thrusting in deeper as her lips suck over her clit once, twice-

 

cheryl can’t hold back the loud moan that rips through her throat as her thighs almost squeeze toni’s head off, nails digging into the back of toni’s hand as wave after wave of euphoric pleasure rips through her trembling, shaking body. toni keeps moving, guiding her through the motions with gentle licks and subtle thrusts of her fingers until cheryl feels the heat subside, toni’s name escaping her lips in a breathless whisper before she collapses back onto the bed.

 

toni gently removes her fingers, her hands gripping cheryl’s thighs to ease them down onto the bed as she massages the skin with the heel of her palm. she kisses her way up cheryl’s body, humming softly before she reaches her lips and presses the softest of kisses to them. cheryl moans at the taste of herself, her whole body fatigued and her eyes already drooping closed as toni continues smothering her with gentle kisses that leave her smiling in a daze.

 

“you still with me, bombshell?” toni whispers with a chuckle and a heavy pant. cheryl nods once, her throat dry and her body aching in a good way that has her floating on cloud nine.

 

that…fuck…she can’t even think, let alone speak-

 

"tell me how you feel." toni murmurs. cheryl takes a second to catch her breath before she looks up at toni with a scoff of disbelief.

 

"i feel...a million different things. i feel scared about telling you the truth...brave for doing it, though. i feel sad about my brother, angry about my parents...my heart _hurts_ for you, toni, for everything that you've been through...but right now, more than anything, i feel...content." cheryl hums, closing her eyes and scratching her nails down toni's bare, sweat soaked back. it's silent for a few moments, the both of them basking in each other before toni speaks.

 

“you should put the collar on for the first time yourself, cheryl.” toni says softly. cheryl’s eyes snap open in surprise, and toni smiles and brushes her hair back from her sweaty forehead, the fingers of her other hand dancing all over cheryl’s skin playfully as cheryl frowns.

 

“are…are you sure?” cheryl pants, still catching her breath back as toni nods once and leans down to pepper kisses along her jawline. 

 

“that collar is for you, cheryl. it’s about _you._ so you should be the first person to put it on yourself. whatever happens after that, happens.” toni says simply. cheryl swallows dryly and licks her lips before tucking a lock of hair behind toni’s ear.

 

“okay. but…can you put it on me after?” she asks, her voice small and her heart clenching at the idea of toni rejecting the offer.

 

instead, to her surprise, the pink haired serpent bites back a very audible moan and leans down to kiss her a little more insistently this time.

 

“yeah…if that’s what you want.” she whispers against her lips. cheryl nods against her, brushing and nuzzling her nose against toni’s affectionately.

 

“it is.” she breathes. toni smiles, pressing another kiss to her lips, and cheryl takes the opportunity to ask what's most important to her.

 

"tell me how you feel." she repeats, looking toni in the eyes and watching as the girl chuckles before she shakes her head.

 

"honestly? pretty much the same. it's been a long time since i've spoken to someone about my parents. and my heart hurts for you too, cheryl. it just makes me more determined to help you heal, to help you move past all the pain you've suffered." toni says softly. 

 

_she's pure goodness, cheryl. nothing more, nothing less. even if you don't deserve her, she's here in front of you, wanting to help you, and by god, if you don't take that chance to do the same for her..._

 

"i want to help you heal too, toni." she whispers. toni's smile falters slightly, her lips trembling before she kisses cheryl soundly, pressing their naked bodies together until they're both forced to pull away, drawing in desperate gasps of air.

 

they simply stare at each other, chocolate brown eyes reflecting within each other before toni sighs and pushes herself up off of cheryl slowly.

 

“i should go.” she croaks out, looking a little hesitant to do so, and cheryl’s heart clenches, her hand immediately flying out to grip toni’s as she sits up and shakes her head.

 

“toni, it’s the middle of the night-.”

 

“i know, but it’s better for us both to have some space to think about and come to terms with what just happened, cheryl. trust me, if i’m with you twenty four seven, it’s not gonna give you time to do what you need to do to heal.” she says firmly. cheryl bites down on her bottom lip, begging herself not to cry despite the tears that form regardless, and toni smiles before she reaches out and presses her lips to cheryl’s brow in a soft kiss.

 

“the day will come for sleepovers and mornings waking up next to each other, i promise. but for now, i’m a text message away, cheryl. you’re strong, and you’ve just proved that to me by telling me everything you’re feeling. you’ve got this, bombshell, okay?” she says, her tone strong and reassuring. cheryl swallows the lump in her throat before she smiles and nods.

 

toni’s right. she can’t spend every waking moment with the serpent girl, she needed time to think about everything that just happened tonight.

 

she just lost her virginity.

 

_holy shit…_

 

it hits her quite heavily, her eyes blinking rapidly, and toni seems to notice, because she chuckles and kisses her cheek softly.

 

“message me tomorrow, okay? and you have my permission to wear the collar until you see me again.” toni tells her firmly. cheryl smiles again and nods once, and toni presses a kiss to her lips before she jumps up with a sigh and begins dressing herself. 

 

“toni, wait, you…you didn’t get anything from me.” cheryl says shyly, feeling bad for the fact that toni’s been left high and dry, but toni laughs and looks at her in amusement before she’s shaking her head and moving back to her to duck down and kiss her once again.

 

“you gave me something more important than sex, cheryl. you opened yourself up to me _emotionally._ don’t feel bad, there’ll be plenty of time to reciprocate later.” she says, giving her a small wink that has cheryl rolling her eyes, but smiling all the same. 

 

“okay.” she whispers back. toni quickly finishes dressing herself, cheryl watching her for a few moments before she sighs and moves to the head of the bed, sinking onto her stomach and cuddling the pillow to her face with a tired sigh. 

 

today has been a long fucking day.

 

she hears toni laugh behind her before a palm strikes her backside lightly, and she yelps and looks up as toni leans down to press a kiss to her temple with a chuckle.

 

“get some sleep, beautiful. text me.” 

 

“i will, i promise.” cheryl croaks out, gripping toni’s hand in her own with a lazy smile. toni squeezes her hand back before cheryl hears the sound of her boots echoing on the ground, her door eventually closing, and less than five minutes later, the rumble of a motorcycle echoes from the open window, cheryl humming in content at the sound.

 

she can’t stop smiling. 

 

she can’t believe what just happened tonight. for toni to be so calm with her, so open and so beautifully exposed before her, to pull cheryl out of her shell with coaxing words and soft praises…

 

cheryl’s never opened up to someone like that before. physically or emotionally. that wasn’t just sex, that was something _more._ that was connection of the deepest kind. toni hadn’t wavered for a second hearing cheryl confess her truth about jason and her parents, about her attempted suicide, about _everything_ that she was feeling, and despite how hard it had been, cheryl had returned the favor when toni had done the same.

 

fuck, for toni to lose her father at such a young age…and her mother in such a terrible and horrifying way as well…

 

toni hasn’t had an easy life, and neither has cheryl. yet here they both were, trying their best to knit each other back together, working through life and all it’s strange and terrifying obstacles to come out of the other end victorious.

 

they were in this _together._

 

the collar…

 

cheryl takes a deep breath in before she slides off the bed and reaches under it for the box, her breath catching when her fingers close around the rectangle shape. she pulls it out and sits there on her knees staring at it for a few moments.

 

it no longer intimidates or scares her.

 

toni’s right. this collar is about _her._ about her control, about her freedom to be who _she wants to be._

 

she rips the lid off and takes the collar out, staring at it for a few moments as she brushes her fingers over the leather before she takes in a shuddering breath and unbuckles it. with shaking fingers, she flips her hair back and gently settles the lambskin innards of the collar against her throat.

 

her lungs squeeze, her heart pounding as her hands reach behind her neck to set the buckle into place, tight, but not tight enough to choke her before she lets her arms drop to her side and simply lets the weight of the collar rest around her skin for a few moments.

 

only one word seems to come to mind.

 

“fuck.” 

 

cheryl blinks back her tears before she stands slowly on trembling legs and makes her way over to the full length mirror in the corner of the room. 

 

naked, completely and utterly, except for that strip of leather around her neck. it could easily pass for a choker, the design fashionable enough to do so, but with the weight of it pressing against her throat, cheryl lets her tears fall and finds herself smiling, a soft laugh escaping her as her fingers reach up to brush over the leather.

 

others might see it as restricting, a chokehold around her throat to keep her tied down...

 

cheryl’s quite sure she’s never felt more _free._


	6. your dirty little secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is every chapter from here on out gonna contain smut? probably.  
> am i going to hell for it? probably.  
> is it a bad thing? NAH.
> 
> anyway, enjoy! leave comments letting me know what you think! next chapter's gonna be...muy caliente. ;)

the heat of the sun filtering through her still open window and the cold breeze gently caressing her warm body is what wakes cheryl blossom up in the late hours of sunday morning.

 

she groans and buries her face further into her pillow, body aching from the stiffness of being still for too long, telling cheryl that she must have been in a deep sleep if she hadn’t moved a single inch the entire time she’d been sleeping.

 

she can’t exactly blame herself, she’d gotten the most earth shattering release she’s ever experienced in her entire life last night thanks to toni topaz. 

 

cheryl smiles into her pillow at the thought of the pink haired serpent, and she blinks her eyes open, hissing harshly at the sunlight that hits them before they land on the box sitting on the bedside table. she licks her dry lips and slowly pushes herself up, groaning further at the pop of her stiff joints before she swings her legs over the bed and stands.

 

she stares down at the black leather collar resting inside it, her heart soaring at the feeling of complete and utter _freedom_ she felt the second she put it on last night. she can’t explain it, can’t begin to fathom it…it’s not like she hasn’t worn chokers around her neck before, but the symbolism behind the collar…

 

she felt more in control in that moment wearing it than she ever has in her whole life. 

 

toni knew exactly what she was talking about, and cheryl finds herself biting down on her bottom lip before she grabs her phone and rips it from the charger. it’s almost eleven in the morning, and she licks her lips before unlocking the little device and opening her messages.

 

**you [10:48]**  
_i did it, toni. last night, after you left…i put it on._

 

cheryl quickly hits send and drops her phone back onto her bed with a breathless sigh, making her way to the bathroom to use the toilet. once she’s done, she moves to the sink to wash her hands, her eyes instantly falling on the multiple black and blue spots all over her neck and body.

 

she gasps softly, her heart pounding in her ears as her fingers reach up to brush over each mark, but for the first time in her life, these bruises aren’t signs of abuse. they’re marks of passion, of intimacy, of something cheryl’s never, ever had before in her life…

 

these weren’t marks put on her body by clifford and penelope blossom. these are marks from a girl who occupies every thought, every ounce of cheryl’s mind, pink hair and full lips and the sound of her low, sultry voice in cheryl’s ear…

 

she wants every inch of her body marked black and blue if it means toni topaz doesn’t stop being the one to cause them. 

 

cheryl sighs dreamily as she grabs her toothbrush and quickly brushes her teeth. she’s got a full day ahead of her, she has to go grocery shopping, and veronica had messaged her yesterday about lunch at pop’s. cheryl had told her she was unsure because she didn’t quite know if toni was going to be staying over or not, and frankly, she would’ve preferred to spend today with the serpent girl’s fingers deep inside her…

 

she’s still kind of hoping toni will message her to confirm that’s _exactly_ what her day will consist of. she’s had a taste of what it’s like and now, she simply _can’t get enough._

 

she fights back a shiver as she finishes off brushing her teeth before she steps outside of the bathroom and moves around the room to gather the clothes from last night to put into the hamper. she stares down at the clothes rather fondly, a new memory attached with each item now and when she’s done, she reaches for her phone to see a reply from toni, and her heart soars as she grins and opens the message. 

 

**toni topaz [11:12]**  
_good. i want to hear everything. i’m working all day today again, but i finish at eight this time. i’ll swing by and we can talk about it, okay?_

 

perfect. not ideal, but still perfect. now she could get everything she needed to do today done before toni’s arrival.

 

cheryl’s grin only widens as she types out a reply confirming toni’s plan before she locks her phone and makes her way to her dresser to put on her leggings and sports bra. she could use a morning run to loosen up her limbs after last night.

 

cheryl can’t even begin to comprehend how she feels about last night. she’s still reeling from the fact that she exposed so much of herself to the pink haired serpent. she hadn’t left anything behind closed doors, telling toni everything about how she felt. she hadn’t expected toni to be so open with her, either, revealing things about herself that cheryl never even expected existed within the southside serpent girl…the insecurity about relationships and the need to have something _good_ in her life…

 

cheryl loads up her running playlist and shoves her phone into the back pocket of her leggings before she stretches herself out, relishing in the way the muscles pull and ache with each movement before she dashes down the stairs and heads outside. she only runs a short distance, the weather not looking too friendly as dark clouds begin to shift and cover the sun high above her, and when she gets back to thistlehouse, she does a few ab exercises before she heads to the shower to wash off the sweat from her run and from last night. when she exits, her hair now damp as she runs a towel through it, she heads straight for her dresser to pull out her favorite pair of jeans and her fluffy sweater with cherries on it. she’s about eighty five percent sure it was going to rain, and she did need to keep those lovely bruises of hers covered…

 

as soon as she’s done dressing, she reaches for her pack of cigarettes on the dresser. she takes one and moves to the window, standing by the sill and shivering when she looks down at the spot where she and toni sat almost twelve hours ago, the beginning of a night of heartache, but also bliss and magic.

 

she still doesn’t really know what to label this thing she has with toni, but something tells her that toni isn’t too fussed about throwing a label onto it, and if she isn’t, then cheryl isn’t, either. she’s just happy to have whatever this is between them regardless. she finally has someone she can confide in, someone who wasn’t going to roll their eyes and scoff at her, someone who wasn’t going to try and divert the conversation back to themselves whenever cheryl tried to talk about how she truly felt deep down…

 

the loud sound of her stomach grumbling has cheryl pausing with the lighter halfway up to where the cigarette is dangling between her lips, and she sighs and quickly lights it before she sends a message to veronica confirming she’ll be at pop’s for lunch. 

 

cheryl forgoes breakfast and does her washing before she moves back upstairs and sits down at the vanity to begin putting on her makeup. she goes easy today, using light foundation and selecting a nude lipstick instead of her usual bright red as she blow dries her hair and curls each strand to perfection. she was entering back into reality today, into the lion’s den with veronica lodge and all the other residents of riverdale…

 

time to put her mask back on.

 

by the time cheryl’s done with everything, it’s almost two in the afternoon. veronica had asked for them to meet at three, but with the grumble in her stomach only getting louder, cheryl decides to leave a little earlier. if veronica has a problem with it, she can bitch about it later. 

 

she pulls up to pop’s ten minutes later in her chevrolet impala, whistling along to the music coming from the radio completely out of beat as she parks into a spot and exits the car. she takes a cigarette out of her pack and lights it, sighing as another car pulls up before reggie mantle exits it and looks at her with a grin.

 

“hey, blossom!” he calls out. cheryl fights back the smirk threatening to take over her face as stares at reggie’s black eye and cut lip. that sweet pea boy sure did a number on the bulldog’s main man…

 

he walks into pop’s without looking at her again, and cheryl finishes off her cigarette and walks inside to see josie chatting with reggie, doing her usual act of flirting with the boy and laughing at his jokes that don’t make any sense. when josie spots her, however, her eyes widen and she excuses herself from reggie before making her way over to cheryl.

 

“oh my god! girl, where have you been? you disappeared from the party on friday night, and i swear i didn’t see you once yesterday!” josie says with what looks like a frown of concern. cheryl clears her throat stiffly and simply shrugs.

 

“the party was boring so i left. if you were so worried, you could have texted me.” cheryl grumbles, moving toward a booth and collapsing down into it before grabbing a menu, as if she isn’t about to order a milkshake and a cheeseburger with a side of fries like she always does. josie sits down on the opposite side of her with a loud sigh, but her expression turns to one of excitement as she leans in.

 

“did you hear what happened? that cute southside serpent boy was chatting me up all night, and reggie got jealous, so he started talking smack. him and reggie got into it. he kicked reggie’s ass to the curb, it was so badass, cheryl…” cheryl lets her waffle on, barely listening to a word she’s saying as she simply smiles tightly and nods along in all the right places as usual. 

 

veronica arrives ten minutes early and, much to cheryl’s chagrin, with betty by her side, and they join cheryl and josie at their little booth. cheryl finds herself begging for eight o’clock to hurry up and come around with each passing second, simply lets the three girls chatter about the party on friday night as she inputs a word or two here and there, and it isn’t until they start talking about the serpents that they get cheryl’s full attention.

 

“you know, those serpents are bad news. i still can’t believe that one guy who beat the crap out of reggie. i mean, it was hot, but totally uncalled for.” veronica says, pulling a compact mirror out of her purse and checking her makeup before she rolls her eyes and looks to betty accusingly. betty simply shrugs and takes a sip of her milkshake.

 

“jughead tries to reign them in as much as he can, but sweet pea, fangs and toni don’t really follow by his rules. they’re like their own little gang in a gang.” 

 

cheryl’s heart pounds against her ribcage almost painfully at the mention of toni’s name, excitement and adrenaline rushing through her as the memory of toni moaning into her ear as she thrust her fingers into cheryl’s heat over and over again fills her mind…

 

“wait, i know sweet pea’s the tall one who started the fight and fangs is the one with the muscles who pulled him away, but who the hell is toni?” veronica says, frowning in confusion and looking at betty for an explanation.

 

she probably doesn’t expect cheryl to give her one, but she does, anyway.

 

“she’s the pretty one with the pink hair and the dark skin.” cheryl says with a deep, almost mournful sigh. she already misses the girl, why can’t it just be eight o’clock already-

 

“ _her_ name is ‘toni’? jeez, i’ve only heard her name and i can tell she’s nothing but trouble-.”

 

“it’s short for ‘antoinette’.” cheryl says sharply, interrupting veronica mid-sentence and clenching her fist underneath the table in an attempt to stop herself from ripping veronica’s hair out. she loves the girl, she truly does, but if she didn’t quit it with _that condescending tone of voice-_

 

cheryl doesn’t understand how veronica doesn’t know who toni is, hasn’t seen her walking around the hallways attached to the hips of those two boys, doesn’t understand how veronica hasn’t stared at those lips in wonder of what they _taste_ like…

 

_strawberry chapstick and tobacco…_

 

“you seem to know a lot about her.” josie says with a light laugh, and cheryl swallows the lump in her throat and takes the last few sips of her milkshake with a shrug.

 

“we have history together…uh, and english.” cheryl adds hastily. 

 

“well, like ronnie said, they seem like nothing but trouble. probably best to steer clear of them.” josie says with a wrinkle of her nose as veronica laughs and looks at her in amusement with a raised eyebrow.

 

“you were flirting with that sweet pea guy all friday night!”

 

“i know, and it ended in a fight!” cheryl drowns out the rest of their conversation, frowning at what josie said before she shakes her head and stands abruptly.

 

“well, i’m off. i need to do some shopping before i retire home for the night. i’ll see you bright and early in the halls of riverdale high tomorrow morning!” she exits the booth before any of them can say a word, making her way to the door and pulling a cigarette out of her pack as she does. as soon as she’s in her car, she lights it, relishing in the tobacco that immediately calms her down as she takes off toward the grocery store a few blocks away, the knuckles of her right hand turning white as she clutches the steering wheel in her anger.

 

she needed to get out of there. veronica knew absolutely nothing about toni, or those boys, really, and she was already making assumptions that they were people to ‘steer clear’ of? granted, cheryl didn’t know much about sweet pea and fangs, but if they were friends with toni, there had to be something about them that was _good_ , despite the fact that they were starting fights and whatnot. cheryl vaguely remembers both boys coming straight to toni’s aid that night at the party when she messaged them, clearly the weren’t quite the rabid dogs veronica was making them out to be…

 

cheryl grins when she realizes she didn’t pay for her meal and that one of the girls would have to pick it up for her, her smug expression not fading even while she’s inside the grocery store. 

 

_good, that’ll teach them to say horrible things about people they didn’t even know!_

 

she gathers what she needs before heading to the counter to pay, and she arrives back at thistlehouse by six, sighing when she realizes she still has two more hours to kill. 

 

she loads her groceries into the fridge and pantry before heading upstairs to her room, and she bites down on her lower lip before she grabs her phone, wanting more than anything to send a text to toni.

 

_she’s working, cheryl, leave her alone. control yourself!_

 

cheryl licks her lips before she reaches for the box on her bedside table, her fingers brushing over the leather before she takes a deep breath in and pulls the collar out. she sits down on the bed before unbuckling it and placing it over the skin of her neck, sighing in content when she does the buckle up and lets it rest comfortably around it.

 

a wave of calm immediately washes over her, the anxiety and doubt fading as she sighs happily and falls back onto her bed. everything just seems so…calm and clear, when she wears it. like all her worries fade away and everything comes into focus…

 

she doesn’t have a dead twin brother and a hideous family when she wears this little piece of jewelry or whatever you consider it to be around her neck.

 

she relishes in the way her skin touches the lambskin stitched into the inside of the collar every time she swallows as she absentmindedly scrolls through instagram, one hand constantly touching the leather, the pads of her fingers brushing over to material over and over again…

 

she settles for watching a movie on netflix, and once it’s done, it’s almost time for toni’s arrival. she bites down on her lip to stop herself from grinning as she brushes her tongue over her slightly throbbing lower lip.

 

should she keep the collar on?

 

 _no…i want the first time toni sees it on me to be when **she** puts it on me…_

 

she hesitantly reaches for the buckle behind her neck and takes it off, resting the collar back in the box reluctantly before she shuts it and shoves it back under her bed. her phone buzzes, and she grabs it and grins when she sees a message from toni.

 

**toni topaz [19:55]**  
_on my way, bombshell. can you do me a favor?_

 

cheryl frowns, worry gripping her as she types out a quick reply.

 

**you [19:55]**  
_of course. what do you need?_

 

she sees the three dots in the air bubble pop up indicating toni’s typing, and when the message comes through, cheryl inhales sharply, her heart immediately beginning to pound erratically as her eyes move over the message before her.

 

**toni topaz [19:56]**  
_take your clothes off before i get there. can you do that for me?_

 

fuck.

 

cheryl feels her stomach drop, her center throbbing as she squeezes her thighs for relief and bites back a moan before replying. 

 

**you [19:57]**  
_yes. the front door is unlocked, you know where my room is. xo_

 

cheryl locks her phone and licks her lips before she jumps up from her bed and runs down the stairs, unlocking the front door before she stares at it for a few moments, trying to process what toni just messaged her.

 

what did she have planned, exactly? the endless possibilities have cheryl’s mind spinning as she takes a deep breath in and grabs a glass of water from the kitchen, taking a few steps and heading up the stairs with it before she rests it on her bedside table. she can feel her body shaking as she sheds her shirt and jeans, her eyes moving over her body in the full length mirror in the corner of the room. the bruises look less intimidating under the moonlight coming through her window, and she exhales shakily before she unhooks her bra and peels off her underwear down her legs. 

 

she’s been naked in front of toni before, why was she so nervous?

 

_deep breaths, cheryl…_

 

the unmistakable sound of a motorbike sounds out through her window less than five minutes later, and cheryl tries to will her racing heart to calm down as she moves to her dresser to grab her pack of cigarettes, taking one out and lighting it before taking a long drag.

 

she feels her the stress immediately melt away as she inhales the tobacco, her eyes closing when she hears the front door downstairs open and close. the sound of footsteps heading up the stairs echoes out before she hears her bedroom door open, and cheryl doesn’t turn around, lifting the cigarette back to her lips before she hears footsteps get closer and closer to her.

 

soft hands snake around her hips, dancing across her skin delicately, and she exhales shakily with a racing heart and leans back as toni’s voice echoes in her ear. 

 

“hey.” she croaks out softly. cheryl closes her eyes and smiles as toni takes the cigarette from between her fingers to take a drag from it.

 

“hey yourself. is there a reason why i’m naked?” cheryl asks with a chuckle. toni sighs and exhales the smoke before she presses a kiss to the back of cheryl’s head.

 

“we had a serpent meeting today and it stressed me out. seeing you naked makes me happy. you’ve got a nice ass, blossom.” she grumbles against her skin, moving her lips down to cheryl’s shoulder with gentle kisses as the red haired girl rolls her eyes and takes the cigarette back.

 

“mmm, i had lunch with veronica, josie and betty, and they ignored me as usual…guess i’m feeling a little stressed myself.” she says hoarsely. toni chuckles and nips at her skin with her teeth before kissing her ear tenderly.

 

“i can help relieve that.” she whispers in a low voice that has goosebumps immediately erupting over cheryl’s skin as she fights back a shiver.

 

“i’m well aware. but you’re not leaving empty handed tonight again, toni.” cheryl says, biting down on her bottom lip as she rests the cigarette onto the ashtray before turning to face the pink haired serpent. she wants to reciprocate tonight, wants to feel toni’s skin against her own, wants to hear those breathless moans once more, but this time, because of her _own_ pleasure…

 

toni’s eyes move up and down her body as cheryl’s do the same. toni’s wearing simple black ripped jeans and a white tank top tonight, her serpent jacket over her shoulders as her pink hair falls in soft curls over them, and toni smiles and wraps her arms around cheryl’s waist to pull her close.

 

“if that’s what you want.” she says simply, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to cheryl’s neck that has her throwing her head back with a soft hum.

 

“mhmm, it is, but it only matters if it’s what you want.” she whispers, letting out a soft whimper when toni’s teeth drag across her pulse point. the southside serpent girl chuckles before she pulls back and tucks a lock of hair behind cheryl’s ear.

 

“that’s _definitely_ what i want, bombshell. but we should talk first. you put the collar on last night.” she says matter of factly. cheryl smiles and takes toni’s hand, leading her over to the window sill where they sit down once more. she takes the cigarette resting on the ashtray as toni reaches into her pocket for her own pack, lighting a cigarette of her own before she draws her knees up to her chest and watches the red haired girl patiently. cheryl swallows the lump in her throat and licks her lips before taking a drag and shaking her head.

 

“i don’t even know how to explain how it feels wearing it, toni. i put it on and i just felt like everything in my life wasn’t so crazy anymore. like…like i could see everything clearly all of a sudden.” cheryl says softly, smoke billowing from her lips and nose with each word spoken as toni purses her lips and nods slowly. 

 

“you mean you felt in control?” she says knowingly, smirking slightly as cheryl taps her foot against her shin playfully in reprimand for her teasing.

 

“yes, but also…i just felt _free._ more free than i’ve ever felt in my entire life, i think.” cheryl says with a smile. toni smiles at that.

 

"that's good...i get the confusion behind what you feel, i guess it's just something you have to slowly unscramble with time. but still...progress is progress." toni says softly. cheryl nods in agreement, clearing her throat as toni smiles back at her. she exhales shakily, and cheryl hesitates before she continues running her foot up and down toni’s arched shin playfully. the pink haired girl sighs and sinks back against the wall with a smile, closing her eyes as she swallows thickly and shakes her head.

 

“i still feel so… _weird_ , about opening up last night. i told you shit that i don’t even tell sweet pea and fangs, you know…just watching you and hearing you talk so openly to me about how you were feeling, it just…i don’t know, it made me feel _safe_ , safe enough to do the same.” toni croaks out. cheryl feels her heart ache at those words.

 

she _wants_ toni to feel safe with her, because god, the girl made her feel that way tenfold. it was clear the serpent had trust issues, especially after dealing with a mother who all but abandoned her and a lover who did the same…cheryl didn’t want toni to doubt her.

 

she wasn’t going anywhere.

 

“you’re safe with me, toni. i promise. you make me feel the exact same way, and i couldn’t even bear to fathom the possibility of you not feeling that way with me. you can _trust me_ with anything…” cheryl says softly, finishing off her cigarette before she reaches over to rest her hand on top of toni’s knee. toni’s eyes slowly blink open before she rests her hand on top of cheryl’s, fingers brushing over her knuckles lightly.

 

“thank you, cheryl. i really appreciate it. after what happened with the last girl i was with, i really need to hear that, you know?” she croaks out. cheryl smiles, and toni returns it before she finishes off her cigarette and stubs it in the ashtray on top of cheryl’s.

 

“she was my first, you know…really did a number on me, too.” toni says in a low voice, her jaw clenching angrily, and cheryl feels her own anger at this girl for breaking the heart of the most amazing person she’s ever met in her entire life.

 

“she sounds like a bitch.” cheryl deadpans. toni barks with laughter before she stares at cheryl in amusement.

 

“that’s fair to assume. but she doesn’t matter anymore. she’s long gone, back to germany or australia, or wherever she was from.” toni says, waving her hand nonchalantly. cheryl can’t help the giggle that escapes her as she rolls her eyes.

 

“those are two places that are very far from each other, toni.”

 

“eh, her accent was weird, i could never place it, and she refused to talk about herself for longer than a minute. it was just all…sex.” toni says with a sigh. cheryl winces at that, feeling a little guilty about the fact that she’s naked and waiting for exactly that right now, and toni seems to notice, because her eyes widen and she shakes her head with a light laugh.

 

“no, don’t even wig out about that, cheryl, whatever we have between us is already more than _anything_ i could’ve dreamed of having with her. you’re sensational, bombshell.” toni says with a warm smile. cheryl lets out a sigh of relief, her heart racing at those words before toni suddenly stands and sheds her serpent jacket, frowning when she looks around for a place to put it.

 

“the dresser.” cheryl says, pointing to it with a smile, and toni rests it on top before she sits back down on the window sill.

 

“how are you feeling, by the way? about your parents? i know it was hard talking about them yesterday…” cheryl asks softly, reaching out to brush her fingers over the back of toni’s neck as the girl bends down to unzip her shoes and peel them off. toni sighs as she straightens up with a shrug.

 

“it’s not something i can change, i accepted that a long time ago, cheryl. it hurts thinking about growing up without them by my side, but thinking about it and getting upset about it doesn’t change anything…all i can do is accept and work on moving forward, on trying to heal the scars and move past the fucked up trauma and issues it gave me.” toni says in a hollow voice as if she’s holding back tears, and cheryl frowns before she leans in to press a kiss to toni’s temple.

 

“i understand.” toni sighs and grips her hand tightly.

 

“i know you do…because you can’t change what happened with your family, either. but have _you_ accepted that there’s nothing you can do to change it?” toni asks firmly, but not unkindly. cheryl swallows the lump that quickly builds in her throat as she ponders toni’s words.

 

truthfully…no, she hasn’t. all she’s done this entire year is try to forget it ever happened. she hasn’t made an effort to move past it, has wallowed in her grief and despair while simultaneously refusing to accept that it ever happened in the first place.

 

“no…i haven’t.” she says simply, sniffing back her tears as toni squeezes her hand sympathetically.

 

“something we can work on, yeah?” toni says softly with a smile. cheryl nods once with a loud sigh before toni suddenly stands and whips her shirt off, dropping it to the ground and chuckling when cheryl looks up at her in slight awe. she’s wearing a black lace bra that’s see through, nipples poking out through the fabric as cheryl bites back a low moan at the sight of them.

 

“nothing you haven’t seen before, bombshell.” she teases. cheryl licks her lips and reaches out to curl her fingers into the loops of toni’s jeans, tugging her forward and relishing in the way toni’s breath hitches at the action.

 

she presses a kiss just beneath the gemstone of her bellybutton ring, toni’s fingers raking through her hair before cheryl looks up at her questioningly.

 

“may i?” she croaks out. toni purses her lips before she nods once, and cheryl unbuttons her jeans before sliding the zipper down with shaking fingers. she grips the waistline of the fabric before tugging them down, pressing kisses to each inch of skin that’s exposed before the jeans are resting around toni’s ankles. she’s wearing matching panties that have cheryl’s mouth slightly watering, and the pink haired serpent steps out of her jeans before she holds her hands up for cheryl to take, which she does.

 

toni pulls her up slowly, hands moving up her arms to wrap around her neck before she leans up to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth.

 

“i like these little bonding sessions we have, cheryl. i like talking about how i’m feeling with you…it’s nice to have someone i can talk to about that stuff.” she murmurs against her skin. cheryl pulls her into a hug, wrapping her arms around toni’s waist before brushing her fingers up and down her spine. her breath hitches when she hits toni’s bra, and she unclips it gently before pressing a kiss to the serpent’s shoulder.

 

“good lord, i feel the same way, toni. you continue to amaze me with how patient you are with me…” cheryl whispers in her ear, smiling when toni visibly shivers before cheryl pulls back and lets toni shed her bra slowly. 

 

“it’s not about patience, bombshell. i just want you to be open with me.” she says with a shrug, dropping her bra to the ground with a smile. cheryl cocks an eyebrow before she licks her lips and reaches up to cradle her hand over toni’s cheek.

 

toni presses a kiss to her palm before she looks up at cheryl with lust shining in her eyes, and cheryl bites down on her bottom lip, forcing herself not to attack those plump lips of toni’s as she brushes her thumb over the girl’s cheekbone.

 

“i know…i know there’s probably more that needs to be said, but toni, i…can i ask that we do so after? i haven’t been able to stop thinking about last night all day-.”

 

“fuck, me too.” toni breathes, pupils blown as she grips the back of cheryl’s neck and tugs her down for a harsh kiss that has cheryl immediately groaning against her, arms reaching down to wrap around her thighs before she lifts the serpent up with all the strength she has. toni lets out a squeal of surprise against her lips before she wraps her legs around cheryl’s waist and lets the red haired girl carry her over to the bed, their lips never separating as she does. 

 

cheryl practically throws toni on top of the bed, unable to control herself because god, she’s been thinking about the taste of toni’s lips and skin all fucking day, and now she has it within arm’s reach-

 

toni spreads her legs to accommodate cheryl as she slithers between them, hands on either side of toni’s head to keep herself up as she nips at her bottom lip playfully. toni whimpers against her lips as her nails scratch down cheryl’s back harshly, eliciting a hiss of pain from her before she crashes her lips against toni’s hungrily.

 

somewhere deep down, between the feelings of lust and desire coursing through her body, she feels the all too familiar brush of anxiety at what she’s about to do. she’s never done this before, but she’s dreamt of this exact moment, just the same as she dreamt of last night…

 

the only thing she can think of right now is giving toni the same pleasure the pink haired serpent gave her last night.

 

toni moans as cheryl sucks the skin of her neck between her teeth, teeth scraping over the quickly bruising flesh before she lets go with a loud pop. toni’s already panting for air beneath her, hands gripping the sheets and twisting them between her fingers, and cheryl can’t help but smile as she leans up to tug toni’s earlobe between her teeth.

 

“worked up, are we?” she whispers seductively, relishing in the way toni’s back arches off the bed with a whine.

 

“h-have been since l-last night.” she chuckles breathlessly. cheryl’s tongue snakes out to flick against her earlobe before she moves down to her neck once more, humming softly against chocolate skin as she does.

 

“you didn’t get yourself off the second you got home? i admire your strength, kitten.” cheryl murmurs, and toni laughs again as she rests her cheek against the side of cheryl’s head.

 

“oh, i got myself off alright, thinking about you…about how you felt beneath my body…the way you moaned every time i so much as touched you…thought about what i’d do the next time i got you down on this bed, flat on your back…” toni says in that _fucking_ voice that has cheryl practically throbbing already, the red haired girl groaning at the vibrations that move against her lips with each word toni says as she kisses her neck over and over again…

 

toni suddenly grips a fistful of cheryl’s hair between her fingers and tugs her up, the red haired girl whimpering and biting down on her bottom lip before she looks down into toni’s eyes to see they’re almost completely black with desire. 

 

“it’s probably the best orgasm i’ve ever had.” toni breathes, and cheryl grins wickedly before she leans down to kiss toni softly. she pulls her bottom lip between her teeth before running her tongue over it to soothe the wounds.

 

“mmm…we’ll see about that.” 

 

before toni can say another word, cheryl kisses her deeply before she moves down, nipping at her skin every once in a while before she reaches her chest, and _fuck_ , she hasn’t stopping thinking about doing this all day…

 

she swirls her tongue over the hardened bud of toni’s right breast before she tugs it between her teeth, smiling against toni’s skin when her back arches off the bed and a soft cry echoes around her room.

 

“fuck, d-don’t stop!” toni whines, one hand curling around the back of cheryl’s neck to keep her in place while the other grabs cheryl’s wrist to move it over her other breast. cheryl hums against her as she flattens her tongue over her nipple soothingly, her hand grabbing and kneading the other greedily as toni’s hips buck up off the bed wantonly.

 

“ch-cheryl, please!” toni whimpers, curling her hand around cheryl’s wrist to push her hand down to where she needs her, but cheryl pulls away from her chest and looks up at her with an arched eyebrow as she pins toni’s hand down to the bed to stop her actions.

 

“patience is a virtue, toni topaz.” she breathes, blowing cold air over her nipple before she latches onto it once again, her warm tongue sliding against it. she can feel the goosebumps on toni’s skin beneath her tongue as the pink haired serpent moans loudly, pushing against cheryl’s hand pinning her own without much success at all. cheryl interlaces their fingers before she pulls away and kisses the valley between toni’s breasts before moving to the other one to do the same, her free hand moving over the bruised and bitten breast she just finished with to grab and squeeze as she desires. 

 

toni’s complete putty beneath her, much the same as cheryl was last night, her fingers squeezing around cheryl’s as she wraps her legs around cheryl’s waist with a heavy pant. 

 

“you’re k-killing me, bombshell.” she breathes, biting down on her bottom lip as cheryl tugs the hardened bud of her nipple between her teeth. 

 

toni hisses in pain as cheryl squeezes her already tortured breast in her hand, and cheryl can’t help but smile before she finally begins kissing her way back up to toni’s neck, relishing in the sight of the blue bruises already forming beneath her dark skin. 

 

she's doing this, she's marking toni with those bruises and making her groan and whine with pleasure...

 

“my underwear is ruined by the way…” toni grumbles, huffing when cheryl laughs in her ear and kisses down her jawline with open mouthed kisses.

 

“you should’ve taken them off.” 

 

“i got distracted.” 

 

“by what?” cheryl murmurs against her skin, distracted by the warmth of it beneath her lip as toni sighs in her ear before she smiles.

 

“by how beautiful you are.” she says simply. cheryl feels her heart ache, the words hitting her like a ton of bricks all at once as she pulls back to look down at toni softly.

 

_she's so good...so good for you, cheryl..._

 

cheryl's quite sure she'll never tire of toni calling her beautiful. she's never heard it before from anyone else in her entire life, but here was this serpent girl, so readily throwing the compliment at her, and it was probably because she wholeheartedly _believed_ it. 

 

_she thinks you're beautiful, cheryl...she really does._

 

cheryl reaches a hand up to brush toni’s hair back from her sweat soaked forehead.

 

“ _you’re_ beautiful, toni. the most beautiful person i’ve ever laid eyes on, inside and out.” cheryl whispers back. toni’s smile only widens before cheryl kisses her a little more insistently, her hand moving down toni’s body before she fiddles with the waistline of her underwear. she's done playing games now. toni deserves this, and god, does cheryl want nothing more than to be the one to _give it to her._

 

toni’s breath hitches, a soft moan escaping her before cheryl takes a deep breath in and moves her fingers underneath the band slowly.

 

she gasps at the immediate wetness that hits the pads of her fingers, looking at toni in surprise to find her rolling her eyes at cheryl’s expression.

 

“you spent five minutes worshipping my tits, what did you think you were gonna find?” she groans, bucking her hips up impatiently as cheryl lets out a little nervous laugh before licking her lips and moving her fingers further down. 

 

she presses her face into toni’s neck, lips kissing the skin softly before she slides her fingers up the length of toni’s slit, smiling when the girl whines loudly and squeeze cheryl’s waist between her thighs. 

 

“fuck! k-keep doing that, please!” toni pants out, and cheryl complies, repeating the action over and over again and trying her best to breathe and keep control of her herself as she kisses her way back down toni’s chest once more. 

 

the angle is a little awkward, and cheryl’s fingers are restricted from moving much because of toni’s underwear, so cheryl, with a little sigh of frustration, pulls her fingers out, much to toni’s chagrin, before she hooks the lacy panties between her fingers and tugs them down. toni unwraps her legs from around cheryl’s waist and lets cheryl drag them down to her knees before she kicks them the rest of the way off, her legs immediately seeking solace around cheryl’s hips once more. 

 

cheryl latches onto her bruised nipple again, grinning to herself when toni groans half in pain, half in pleasure, before she moves her fingers back over toni’s center, and she moves further up, feeling for that familiar strained bud she’s felt on herself so many times before-

 

when toni’s back snaps off the bed with a loud cry, cheryl knows she’s found it, and she swirls her tongue around toni’s nipple faster before pressing down a little harder and rubbing toni’s clit, the girl’s legs trembling around her as she grabs a fistful of cheryl’s hair once more. she tugs softly, and cheryl doesn’t even bother holding back the loud moan that escapes her at the action as she pulls away from toni’s breast with a loud pop.

 

“do you need me inside?” cheryl murmurs, kissing her way up to toni’s lips with her heart pounding in her ears as toni nods feverishly.

 

“use your words, toni.” cheryl says shakily, smiling again when toni lets out a loud whine before she replies.

 

“y-yes, fuck, cheryl! please!” toni’s almost begging at this point, the words escaping in a choked out sob as cheryl grins before moving her fingers further down until she’s sliding two of them straight into toni’s heat.

 

toni’s hand wraps around cheryl’s neck to pull her down for a harsh kiss, teeth tugging on her bottom lip as the red haired girl groans and starts thrusting her fingers in and out, gaining speed with each one as toni falls back onto the bed and drags cheryl down with her. cheryl’s hand quickly begins cramping, her forearm burning, but she pushes through it, staring in awe as toni’s brow furrows, a mixture of soft and loud moans leaving her lips with almost every thrust of cheryl’s fingers. 

 

“i’m c-close, cheryl, keep g-going, keep-god!” toni’s eyes roll into the back of her head as her head falls back as well, and cheryl takes the opportunity to attack her neck with feverish bites and kisses, toni’s whole body moving with the power of cheryl’s thrusts. she navigates her thumb to rest over the strained bud of toni’s clit, and she rubs it harshly before pressing down on it-

 

toni’s nails dig into her back as her mouth drops open in a silent scream, her brow furrowed and her thighs squeezing cheryl’s waist tightly as she clenches greedily over and over again around cheryl’s fingers, the girl unable to even move them an inch as she peppers toni’s neck with soft kisses to bring her down from her high while simultaneously staring at her in complete in utter _awe._

 

_you did it, see? was that so scary? god, **look at her** , cheryl, you did this to her, you brought her this pleasure…_

 

toni eventually relaxes back down onto the bed, all the tension leaving her body as she lets out soft groans of pleasure. cheryl feels sweat soaking every inch of her skin, can feel it mixing with toni’s own as she lays flat on top of the pink haired serpent and rests her head on the girl’s chest. toni’s heart is thundering quickly and loudly against cheryl’s ear, and toni catches her breath as she runs her fingers through cheryl’s hair, a whine escaping her when cheryl slowly pulls her fingers out of her.

 

“cool, so…you’re like…a fucking sex god, or something. there’s no way…that was your first time.” toni breathes through heavy pants. cheryl grins before she pushes herself up to hover over toni, kissing her lips softly with a content hum.

 

_you did that, cheryl...you really did **that.**_

 

“i just did what i usually do to myself, and i borrowed inspiration from you last night.” cheryl teases with a whisper. toni groans and leans up to kiss her as she brushes her fingers up and down cheryl’s spine.

 

“don’t talk about getting yourself off, that’s just gonna turn me on again.” cheryl chuckles and kisses her again and again, unable to get stop. she can’t get enough of toni’s lips, her body, her _everything…_

 

god, is she forever thankful for southside high closing it's doors...

 

“mmm…wanna try something?” toni murmurs suddenly, pulling away from the kiss to stare up at her before she tucks a lock of hair behind cheryl’s ear. cheryl hesitates for the briefest moment before she moves her soaked fingers up to her lips, tongue sticking out before she wraps her lips around each digit to clean toni's arousal off her fingers. 

 

_oh, **fuck.**_

 

cheryl savors the taste on the roof of her mouth, tangy but god, so fucking _good_ as she closes her eyes and lets out a soft moan before she grins down at toni, who is looking at her with nothing but pure and unadulterated _lust_ shining in her eyes.

 

"sure." she says simply, biting down on her lower lip and nodding, which causes toni to suddenly flip their positions, a squeal of surprise escaping the red head before toni kisses her deeply.

 

“how the fuck can you be so sexy without even trying, bombshell?” she growls lightly, nipping at her bottom lip as cheryl chuckles breathlessly.

 

she knew that would have the desired effect she wanted...god, she wants toni to fucking _ravage her_ right now-

 

“mmm…come up here.” toni says, not even giving cheryl the chance to move before she’s pulling away from her and sitting on the bed with her legs crossed. cheryl sits up slowly before toni grabs her hand and pulls her forward.

 

“straddle my lap.” toni says firmly, and cheryl licks her lips before she places her knees on either side of toni’s lap, the girl straightening out her legs underneath her as cheryl rests her backside on toni’s thighs. she suddenly grips cheryl's thighs and pulls her closer before she props her knees up until they’re hitting the middle of cheryl’s back, effectively trapping her and putting barely any space between them as toni curls a hand around the back of her neck to pull her down for a sweet kiss. 

 

cheryl complies, lips moving languidly against toni’s before the pink haired serpent trails her hand down cheryl’s chest. she squeezes her breasts harshly, probably as payback for cheryl’s treatment of her own, and cheryl leans back against toni’s thighs with a soft groan, toni’s lips moving down her neck and chest until she’s placing her mouth over cheryl’s left nipple. she suckles softly, cheryl letting out a whimper as her hips grind down into toni’s lap. toni growls against her skin, nipping at the hardened bud before she wraps one arm around cheryl’s lower back, nails digging into her skin.

 

“you ready?” toni whispers, kissing her chest before looking up at her, and cheryl nods once without hesitation before toni moves her free hand between cheryl’s legs, fingers brushing over her clit gently and causing cheryl’s hips to jerk involuntarily. she bites down on her lower lip before toni turns her hand palm side up and looks up at cheryl with a smirk.

 

she slides two fingers into her before she’s using the arm wrapped around cheryl’s waist to pull her down further down until toni’s fingers are buried deep inside her.

 

cheryl feels her stomach twist at the pleasure that courses throughout her body, her heart pounding as she bites back a groan, but when toni suddenly spreads her two fingers to stretch her out, cheryl’s arms fly around toni’s shoulders to steady herself, a sharp gasp of pain mixed with pleasure escaping her as toni’s tongue suddenly moves up the valley between her breasts to her neck, gathering the beads of sweat onto her tongue with a soft groan as she does.

 

“ride my fingers, cheryl.” she whispers into her ear, and cheryl whimpers before she buries her face into toni’s shoulder and does as she’s told, rolling her hips down and crying out at how _fucking good_ it feels. toni keeps an arm wrapped firmly around her waist and guides her down with each roll of her hips as cheryl grips toni’s hair between her fingers and leans back slightly, her brow furrowing as she moans at the way toni pushes her hips up to thrust her fingers in further, her thumb moving to brush over cheryl's clit repeatedly.

 

“god, toni!” cheryl breathes, nails scratching at toni’s scalp as the girl begins attacking her chest once more with harsh bites to her skin and breasts. cheryl quickens the pace of her hips, rolling them down deeper and faster as toni does the same with her own, matching each thrust perfectly with cheryl’s as she cries out with pleasure, chasing the orgasm that she can feel is about to burst from her.

 

_so close…so c-close, god, please!_

 

toni moves her lips up to cheryl’s neck and bites down on her pulse point just as she adds a third finger and rubs harsh circles into her clit, and cheryl’s _gone_.

 

she doesn’t even attempt to hold back her scream of pleasure as her hips stutter, her whole body trembling on top of toni’s as the girl sucks the skin of her pulse point harshly while still thrusting three fingers in and out of her, helping her ride out the waves of pleasure that roll through her body in explosive waves. cheryl digs her nails into toni’s back as she rests her cheek against the side of toni’s head, panting breathlessly before her whole body goes limp with exhaustion.

 

toni removes her lips and teeth from cheryl’s neck with a loud pop before she chuckles and kisses the bruise cheryl has no doubt is already forming on her skin. she slides her fingers out, grinning when cheryl whimpers at the loss before she pulls cheryl down on top of her to lay back on the bed slowly. cheryl kisses her with an open mouth messily, still gasping for air as toni runs her fingers up and down her back tenderly.

 

“did you like that?” she murmurs softly as she moves her lips over cheryl's cheek, brushing her hair back from her face gently.

 

cheryl can barely form words right now, her brain mush and her eyes glazed over as she nods breathlessly, and toni laughs and presses a kiss to her brow before cheryl begins peppering kisses down her cheeks and jaw.

 

“i’ll keep that in mind.” toni teases. cheryl buries her face into the crook of toni’s neck as her fingers move up and down her sides.

 

“did you like what i did?” cheryl asks shyly, her cheeks getting impossibly more flushed as toni laughs, the vibrations from her chest making cheryl’s cheek wobble slightly.

 

“i'm pretty sure you just gave me one of the best orgasms i’ve ever had. you definitely beat last night’s one by a mile.” toni says with a smile. cheryl grins up at her with a raised eyebrow.

 

“really?”

 

“really, which is fucking crazy considering it was your first time.” toni says with a scoff. cheryl feels her heart soar, elation sweeping her over how well she did tonight, but she simply plays it off with a teasing shrug.

 

“beginner’s luck.”

 

“no way, bombshell, you’re just a natural at being a lesbian.” 

 

cheryl laughs at that, nothing but joy sweeping through her, and it’s quiet for a few moments, the both of them simply stroking each other’s sweat soaked skin and hair and basking in the silence before cheryl licks her lips and pushes herself up to look toni in the eyes.

 

she feels so _good_ right now...she doesn't want anything to destroy the happiness they're both feeling...

 

“i…i don’t want to ruin this feeling by talking about the other stuff.” she says softly. toni smiles before she purses her lips and nods.

 

“neither do i. but we can talk about it any time, cheryl. even if we’re at school and you’re feeling down, just pull me aside whenever and we'll just talk about it, okay?” she says reassuringly. cheryl nods once.

 

"okay. the same to you, toni. if you ever need to talk..."

 

"i know, bombshell." toni says with a soft smile. cheryl returns it before she bites down on her bottom lip in hesitation.

 

she knows she'll never hear the end of it if veronica or josie see her talking with toni, and she doesn't care at all what they think, but at the same time...

 

“people will think it’s weird that i’m talking to a southside serpent.” she says hollowly. toni cocks an eyebrow.

 

“do you care what other people think?” she asks. cheryl scoffs and shakes her head without hesitation.

 

“not at all. but...what do we even call this, toni? what we have, is…is it a relationship, or…” cheryl trails off, looking to toni, completely unsure of herself, and toni looks the same, her brow furrowed with worry before she lets out a shaky exhale and shrugs.

 

“it doesn’t need to be defined right now, cheryl. it can just _be._ ” she says, brushing cheryl’s hair back from where it’s sticking to her sweaty back. cheryl licks her lips before she nods in agreement.

 

she can work with that, she can _definitely_ work with that. what they have doesn't need a label to define it. it just _was._

 

but there’s another issue, as well. she’s not exactly out to the other students of riverdale high yet, and as much as she’d like to walk down the hallways hand in hand with toni, she can’t risk the rumors spreading and getting back to her mother.

 

it’s not that she cares what other people think, and frankly, she doesn’t give a damn what her mother thinks, either, even though she's quite sure her mother already knows, her and clifford spent _years_ attempting to beat it out of her, but still…

 

she’s just not quite ready yet.

 

“can…can we keep this thing between us a secret, then? it’s just…i’m not out yet, to anyone. and i…i don’t think i’m quite ready for that yet.” cheryl mumbles, averting her gaze with embarrassment and guilt, but to her surprise, toni grips her chin between her fingers with the softest smile before she leans up to kiss the corner of her mouth.

 

“of course, bombshell. we don’t have to say anything to anyone until you’re ready. i won’t tell sweet pea or fangs, either. this can just be between us.” she reassures her. cheryl blinks back her tears of joy at the fact that she really found the _best fucking girl_ in riverdale as she leans down to kiss toni deeply.

 

“thank you, toni.” she whispers against her lips. 

 

and toni chuckles and gives her another soft kiss before she pulls back and winks at her.

 

“mm, you’re welcome. i think i like the idea of being your dirty little secret.”

 

a shiver runs up cheryl's spine at the sound of those words for reasons she can't explain, and she simply leans down to kiss toni once again with a slight whimper escaping her lips as she does.

 

 _her_ dirty little secret. 

 

_oh, you're really in for it now, cheryl..._


	7. one more for me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uh...i caved and got a twitter.
> 
> you can follow me at @endofdaysforme there, i'll post updates on how i'm going along with writing, when i'll be updating and if there's any delays in chapters coming out! hoping to see some of you on there!
> 
> enjoy this chapter, it's smut, cause duh. leave a comment letting me know what you think!

cheryl blossom has never really cared much for riverdale high or school in general.

 

despite that, however, her grades were perfect, but only because she found the work easy after her parents all but forced her mind into genius levels of academia, refusing to accept anything other than a hundred percent on every single one of her assessment pieces. cheryl can still remember the day she came home with a ninety eight percent grade mark from a group assignment, the two points docked off not even a result of her doing…can still remember the way penelope had dug her nails into cheryl’s shoulder before gripping her wrists and holding her hands under boiling hot water, ignoring her screams of pain as she did…

 

so yes, as a result of torture for anything less than perfect, cheryl’s grades were excellent and once upon a time, her social status had been too, queen bee of the school, feared by most and adored by everyone.

 

until the day her father was exposed as a murderer. until the day her family fell apart. until the day her mother no longer seemed to care and cheryl was left to her own devices, living alone in a house that only bore painful memories for her.

 

her grades haven’t slipped much, per se, and cheryl still finds herself panicking when she receives an assessment piece with less than a hundred percent written in red at the top of the page even though there’s no one waiting at home to demand her results, but her social status was practically nonexistent now. people no longer feared her, no longer adored her…instead they avoided her, like a bad smell clinging to the walls, or a flea infested dog roaming the streets with its ribs showing as it mewled and howled for food…

 

it irritated her to no end in the beginning. she _loved_ being the queen bee, the head bitch in charge that everyone was afraid of. but the perks of being a fly on the wall have slowly warmed her up to it, to the point that now, cheryl’s not even bothered by it. it’s been a year now since her fall from grace, and even though those goddamn whispers follow her ever, she finds herself no longer caring. she has better things to deal with, like the pain that was festering inside her, eating away at her soul and her heart with every second of every day. 

 

but right now? right now cheryl wishes more than anything that she had that power of fear and intimidation back. because if she had it back, she would be able to do the thing she wants more than anything else in the world.

 

she’d be able to talk to toni topaz in the hallways without fear of what would happen if people saw her. she’d be able to talk to toni and scream and shout at anyone who threw glances of shock of disapproval their way. she’d be able to demand respect, to tell people to mind their own business and leave her and toni alone.

 

part of her feels mad at herself for even being worried about it. she’s passed through these hallways for the last year, ignoring every single glance that was thrown her way because if she’s being honest, she hasn’t really felt like there was anything worth living for anymore anyway, so who cares if people gawked at her like troglodytes? but now she has something worth living for…now she has something worth fighting for, and the only trouble is, she’s lost her voice, her spark to do so.

 

the last three days have been torture. cheryl has walked through the hallways like a ghost for the last year, keeping her head down to avoid the whispers and stares, but now…god, now she has a reason to keep her head _up._

 

every time toni topaz’s eyes have met her in the hallways of riverdale high for the last three days, cheryl has wanted nothing more than to run into her arms and hold her close, to push her up against the lockers and kiss her until their lips were bruised, but she _knows_ all it will do is cause more stares and more whispers, and god, it’s something she just can’t _handle_ more of. 

 

she knows toni doesn’t mind, the girl has reassured her over and over again every time she’s come over after school to thistlehouse, but for cheryl, it still sucks. the only reprieve they really get is when they go out for a cigarette during the lunch break, but even then, sweet pea and fangs join them and they’re left unable to talk to each other. it’s mostly why monday and tuesday afternoon at thistlehouse had been spent talking in length about what they were feeling and where they were at. not a single item of clothing was removed as they simply sat down at the window sill of cheryl’s bedroom and…talked. 

 

they talked for hours and hours, about anything and everything. cheryl spoke to toni about her childhood, how her parents had led her with this false hope for years that they truly loved her and cared for her, how that hope slowly began to dwindle and fade into dust with every slap from her mother across the face, with every loud scream of anger from clifford toward her for something as simple as knocking over a glass by accident. she spoke about how there were some days that she was jealous of the love and affection jason would receive from them, about how it ate her up inside to hate her brother for something he couldn’t control…how at the end of it all, jason was the only person in her family who ever really loved her, because he would cry and beg her not to be mad at him every time penelope would hold him close while simultaneously glaring daggers at his twin sister standing by the door sheepishly watching from the darkness. 

 

“he used to hate it, too. but he was too scared to ask them to stop. he didn’t want to lose the affection they gave him…i don’t blame him for it. if our roles were reversed, i probably would have done the same.” cheryl had whispered, tears falling down her cheeks as she and toni lay on her bed together, the pink haired serpent running her fingers through cheryl’s hair while the red haired girl listened to the way toni’s heart beat wildly against her chest. 

 

she talked about how she had felt the day she found out jason had been murdered, choking out through tears how she felt like her heart had been ripped clean in two, like her soul had been detached from her body, like she could never possibly experience love or happiness again…toni had brushed away the tears from her cheeks with her own falling down her face before she had pressed kisses to cheryl’s face, slow and gentle and so affectionate, cheryl had found herself clinging to toni’s shirt just to make sure she was _real._

 

she also spoke about what she was feeling when sheriff keller had arrived at thornhill to arrest her father for jason’s death. she had sobbed and wailed and told toni how much it hurt her, how much it _killed_ her inside to hear sheriff keller utter those words…

 

_“we’re here for your father, cheryl…we’re here to arrest him for jason’s murder. i’m sorry.”_

 

cheryl still doesn’t understand it, will probably never be able to understand how a man could murder his own son. all for business…money meant more to clifford blossom than his own children…

 

when cheryl had revealed to toni that she had been the one to find clifford’s body hanging from the banister, that she and her mother had been forced to see jason’s waterlogged and cold body to identify him as their kin while clifford looked down at the son he murdered without a single ounce of remorse, toni had kissed away the tears falling down her cheeks and asked her to let it out, to just let everything she was feeling _go._

 

“that’s it, bombshell, shh…let it all out, okay? keeping it buried inside like you have been has just made everything worse…you need to feel it in order to let it go, cheryl…” the girl had whispered into her ear while cheryl had wrapped herself up in toni’s arms and cried into her shoulder. 

 

and god, had it been so therapeutic to just talk about _everything…_ to tell toni not only how she was feeling, but every little thing that helped build the person she is today…nothing but a broken girl struggling to find a reason to wake up every morning, struggling to _survive_ after everything had fallen apart around her…toni was so fucking patient, listened to every word she uttered intently before offering her words of advice or comfort, something that cheryl cherished to no end. every time she tried to bring these things up around veronica or josie or betty, they simply gave her a pat on the shoulder with pursed lips as if to say ‘damn that sucks’ before they’d move on to the next subject. 

 

toni was gentle, and kind, and so, so giving…she’s exactly the kind of person cheryl’s been fucking waiting for. 

 

tuesday afternoon had been toni’s turn, the serpent revealing how alone and lost and confused she had felt during her childhood because her mother had done nothing but verbally abuse her for hours on end one second before she’d cry and hold toni close and beg for forgiveness the next, her breath and clothes stinking of alcohol every single time she did. toni confessed that she’d watch the way sweet pea and fangs’s mothers would behave with their sons with nothing but jealousy and anger, revealing to cheryl that she once almost broke her hand punching a brick wall in rage at the age of nine after she saw how carefully sweet pea’s mother had brushed is hair back and held him close after he’d fallen and scraped his knee. 

 

“i watched his mother sit there and cradle him in her arms over a stupid scraped knee, and i just…lost it. and the funny thing is, when i got home, with my hand all bruised and bloodied, my mom looked down at it before she told me to get cleaned up and wash the dishes.” toni had hissed with tears welling in her eyes, causing cheryl to brush her pink hair back from her face before she had pressed a kiss to her temple to comfort her.

 

toni also spoke about the day her mother had killed that poor five year old boy, spoke about how she had been pulled out of school by her grandfather and her uncle, who had both sat her down and told her what had happened. they hadn’t sugar coated anything, something toni was apparently thankful for to this day. at the tender age of eight, they told her how it was, what had happened, and that she was likely never going to see her mother again, and toni had swallowed loudly before she had told cheryl that all she had felt in that moment was _relief._

 

and then she had started crying, her face screwing up with effort to keep her tears at bay before cheryl had taken her hand and told her to do the same. to just _let go._

 

the more they revealed to each other, the more they realized just how broken they both were. years of abuse and abandonment from the people who they thought cared for them had left them both emotionally and in cheryl’s case, physically scarred. they were both starved of so much in their lives, it was a wonder to cheryl that they were still even standing.

 

those two days had been such a fucking emotional roller coaster, but cheryl feels like a huge weight has been lifted off her shoulders. on that tuesday night, after hours of crying, toni had taken cheryl’s hand and led her to her bike, asking if she’d like to go for a drive. cheryl hadn’t even hesitated, agreeing immediately before toni had driven them on her bike onto an open and long road and had told cheryl to just…scream. to let out all of her anger and frustration and sadness out, and cheryl, with the wind whipping through the hair that wasn’t covered by her helmet, had gripped toni’s shoulders tightly and taken a deep breath in before just…letting go.

 

it had been the most awe inspiring and heart gripping moment cheryl had ever experienced, her screams mingling with toni’s as the girl just drove them further and further down the road. they screamed until their voices were hoarse, until their throats were dry and they could scream no longer, and at almost one in the morning, toni had driven them to pop’s for a milkshake to soothe the ache in their throats, the both of them grinning from ear to ear over what they had just done, glad for the very early hours of the morning that blanketed their time together from the rest of the people in riverdale.

 

it’s thursday now, almost a week since she and toni had started this little thing of theirs, and cheryl walks down the hallways of riverdale with a purpose for the first time in a long time, eyes searching for that pink hair that she hasn’t seen since yesterday afternoon. toni, with a look of nothing but regret in her eyes, had told cheryl that she had to go straight to work after school yesterday and couldn’t come over, and cheryl, with an aching heart and panic quickly rising in her throat, had put on a brave face and told her she’d simply see her tomorrow. so cheryl, for the first time in almost a week, had been left with no company.

 

it had scared her, but honestly, for the first time in a long time, her loneliness wasn’t that harrowing. it gave her time to think, to truly process everything that was going on. she had messaged toni asking if it was okay for her to wear the collar, and when she had gotten her approval, she had put it on simply to allow herself the freedom of a clear mind and had shifted her thoughts around until nothing was jumbled anymore. she still didn’t know what she and toni were, but it didn’t matter. what they had was something _real_ , the most real thing she’s possibly ever had in her life…and despite how much it hurts the both of them to talk about things that pained them, it also helped them develop this beautiful connection that cheryl can’t help but worship.

 

but despite being given the time to process her thoughts in toni’s absence, the whole day yesterday all she could think about was how much she _missed_ toni. they haven’t had sex since sunday night, which cheryl doesn’t mind _at all_ because of how much the talking has been helping the both of them, but she’s been _craving_ toni since yesterday afternoon, the girl’s absence affecting her more than she realized. and yes, part of her feels guilty for wanting toni in that way again after they had done so much soul bearing to each other over the last week, but she can’t help it.

 

she bites down on her lower lip, glancing up at the clock anxiously. she still has ten minutes of this lunch break left, she needs to find her-

 

she finally sees a flash of pink in her peripheral, and she turns to see toni exiting the cafeteria with sweet pea and fangs, a grin on her face and a cigarette dangling between her lips. cheryl finds her heart racing with excitement, and she rushes over and reaches out to grip toni’s wrist with a breathless and excited pant.

 

“toni! can i have a word, please?” she breathes. toni jumps at the contact before she turns to face her, sweet pea and fangs also staring at cheryl in amusement, and the red haired girl licks her lips before she adds on hastily:

 

“it’s about history class. i forgot to take down the notes about our assessment.” toni simply raises both eyebrows now before she licks her lips and looks to the two boys with a nod.

 

“i’ll see you out there.” she says simply. sweet pea frowns, but fangs simply smiles at cheryl before he nods and smacks sweet pea on the chest to get him to follow as he heads to the double doors that head outside. if both boys are suspicious, they haven’t said anything. cheryl’s spent most of her smoke breaks this week with them anyway, so it wouldn’t make sense for them to suspect anything-

 

“come on.” toni grips her hand, interlacing their fingers before she drags her across the hallway and into an empty classroom, cheryl glancing around anxiously to make sure no one is watching before toni closes the door behind them both and turns to face her, concern etched all over her face as she steps closer.

 

“are you okay, cher?” toni asks softly, the nickname causing a shiver to run up cheryl’s spine at the sound of it. toni had let it slip on monday, cheryl looking at her in surprise before the serpent girl had simply shrugged and told her she didn’t have to call her that if she didn’t want her to.

 

“no! i…it’s cute.” cheryl had said somewhat lamely with a slight blush creeping onto her cheeks that had toni chuckling at the sight of it. 

 

“cheryl?” toni says again, a little more firmly, and the red haired girl shakes her head to expel her thoughts before she exhales shakily and nods.

 

“yeah, i’m fine, i just…i missed you.” she breathes, licking her lips and taking a step closer as well before toni’s expression softens immensely, a slight smile curling her lips up. she turns to lock the door quickly before she steps closer to cheryl, closing the gap between them as she slowly wraps her arms around the girl before her gently. 

 

“i missed you, too.” toni says with a light laugh, leaning up onto the tips of her toes to kiss her. cheryl cups the serpent girl’s face in her hands, a light whimper escaping her when toni’s lips meet her own, insistent, but still so soft as she moves a hand up to twirl a strand of cheryl’s hair between her fingers before she pulls away. 

 

“are you coming over after school?” cheryl whispers, feeling a little dazed after even just a simple kiss, and toni’s expression falls, causing cheryl’s heart to do the same.

 

“i’m so sorry, cheryl…i want to, more than anything, but…the reason i couldn’t come yesterday is because we were having a serpent meeting at the wyrm about a job, and that job is happening tonight. i wish i could tell you more, but i can’t.” toni says, her tone laced with true regret as cheryl bites down on her lower lip to stop herself from crying.

 

this isn’t a big deal, it’s not…yes, she misses toni, but the girl had her own life, she couldn’t be at cheryl’s beck and call twenty four seven…

 

“that’s okay, toni. maybe we’ll have better luck tomorrow…” cheryl says with a weak smile, and toni sighs before she brushes cheryl’s hair back from her neck and presses a kiss to the fading bruise on her pulse point that is thankfully, carefully covered with makeup.

 

cheryl had done quite a good job of hiding the love bites on her skin from her two nights with toni, but the pink haired serpent had proudly displayed the marks on her body, and cheryl feels her center throb at the memory of toni meeting her eyes at the cafeteria on monday, her fingers brushing over a particular bruise on her neck before she’d thrown a wink at cheryl slyly. 

 

“yeah…you have my permission to wear the collar again today, cher. anything that helps you, okay? i’m so sorry-.” cheryl silences her by resting her finger on the pink haired serpent’s lips with a smile and a shake of her head. 

 

“shh. it’s okay. just be careful tonight, toni. i know you serpents aren’t exactly the most friendliest gang, and i’d hate for you to get hurt doing…whatever you’re doing. be safe.” cheryl says softly, leaning in to press a kiss to the girl’s brow, and toni’s fingers dig into the skin of her hips that’s exposed from the shirt she’s wearing as she sighs shakily against her, cool air hitting cheryl’s throat as she does. 

 

“i will. come on, let’s go have a smoke with the boys, yeah?”

 

\----------

 

cheryl exhales the smoke filling her lungs with a deep sigh, watching the tendrils of grey curl up into the air before she licks her lips and runs her fingers through her hair. 

 

her eyes move down to her phone, watching as it lights up with a useless instagram notification before her eyes land on the time. 

 

almost nine. 

 

cheryl bites down anxiously on her bottom lip, fingers fiddling and brushing over the top of the phone before she sighs in frustration and stubs her cigarette out onto the ashtray.

 

_she’s busy, cheryl. leave her alone…_

 

cheryl had watched toni jump onto her bike and leave riverdale forlornly in the afternoon after school had ended, veronica running up to her and asking her if she’d like to join her at pop’s a welcome distraction from the misery she was currently feeling. she missed toni so much, but at least most of her afternoon and evening had been occupied with veronica’s incessant chatter before josie, betty, archie and reggie had joined them as well. 

 

but now she’s home alone, as usual, in this big, empty house with no company, and she’s slowly starting to drown in her anxiety like she always does, her nails clinching the skin of her thigh repeatedly despite the pain that causes her to wince every time.

 

_wear the collar, cheryl. she said you can wear it._

 

cheryl chews on her bottom lip, teeth gnawing into the flesh before she looks over at the box on her bedside table. it’s practically beckoning her with the way the moonlight from the window shines on it, and she licks her chapped lips before she makes her way over to it, her heart pounding in her ears as she lifts the lid and pulls it out with shaking hands.

 

she closes her eyes and wraps it around her neck, buckling the clasp behind her neck before she lets her hair fall down her shoulders in soft curls, and she finds herself smiling at the familiar lambskin softly touching the skin of her neck, the rough leather beneath her fingertips not intimidating at all anymore.

 

a wave of calm crashes over her, and she sighs before she sinks down onto the bed, falling down on her back with a huff. she stares up at the ceiling, looking at the patterns with wonder and continuing to run her fingers over the material when a sudden thought enters her mind.

 

a thought that quickly has her squeezing her legs together for relief as she bites back a whimper.

 

no…no, she can’t do it, she can’t-

 

_why not? give her something to think about, maybe make her see what she’s missing out on…_

 

but what if toni gets mad at her for doing it?

 

_why would she get mad, she’ll probably end up with her hand down her pants because of it tonight, just do it, cheryl!_

 

she bites down on her bottom lip again, trying to stop herself from grinning as she jumps up, hesitating for a brief second before she unbuttons her jeans and pulls the zipper down. 

 

she slowly pulls her jeans off before reaching for the hem of her shirt, pulling it up and off her body with a shaky exhale.

 

she’s nervous. she’s never done this before, what if it didn’t end well?

 

_take the risk, cheryl. since when do you play it safe?_

 

never, she thinks with a smirk to herself as she slowly pulls her panties down her legs. fuck, she's got some weird, sexual relationship going on with a southside serpent, of course she's a risk taker. 

 

she stands up on shaking legs before she reaches behind her and unclasps her bra between her fingers. she closes her eyes as she lets it drop, licking her lips before she opens her eyes to meet the full length mirror in the corner of her room. 

 

_oh fuck._

 

cheryl gasps, eyes wide as they roam over her pale, exposed skin, moving up the curve of her hips and her full breasts before they land on the only thing she’s still wearing.

 

the collar.

 

_do it, cheryl. fucking do it, holy shit, do it, do it, do it-_

 

cheryl breathes in deeply, the nerves causing her heart to pound in her ears as she grabs her phone and makes her way to the bathroom.

 

it’s the only room with good lighting.

 

she flicks the switch, blinking at the harsh lights before she makes her way to the vanity. she looks at herself in the mirror, smiling slightly at how _fucking good_ she looks before she raises her phone and unlocks it. she really has never done this before, despite how many times and how many boys had begged her for it...it's slightly harrowing.

 

she opens the camera, wincing when she sees her naked body reflected on the front of the phone, and she hesitates for a moment, trying to decide how to go about this.

 

she wants the collar to be the main focus.

 

she raises her arm, draping it over her chest and hiding her nipples from view, but she pushes them up and into her chest slightly to make them look fuller. the vanity cuts off anything below her bellybutton, and she tilts her head to the side slightly and moves the phone so that only her face from her lips down is showing. 

 

she makes sure it’s absolutely perfect before she snaps at least six shots, her heart thundering against her ribs before she relaxes her body from the pose she’s in and drops her arm from her chest.

 

she opens the photos app, swiping through the photos and trying to find the best one, but five photos later and she’s sighing in frustration-

 

_wait. **that one.**_

 

always the best for last.

 

cheryl’s heart clenches. she looks _good._ really good…every curve accentuated under the harsh lighting above her, breasts like cream colored globes, pressed down by her arm tightly, lips full and slightly parted and there, on her neck in full view…

 

_damn, i’d even fuck me. send it._

 

cheryl chuckles at her own thoughts before she bites down on her bottom lip and opens her messages with toni. 

 

**you [09:16]**  
_something to tide you over during your serpent mission, t.t. how’s the collar look?_

 

she takes a deep breath in before she sends the message, and her finger hovers over the photo before she sends that, too.

 

adrenaline shoots through her body, and she shivers before she puts her phone on silent and locks it, feeling slightly giddy as she makes her way back into her room to put her nightgown on. she takes the collar off and settles it back into the box before she curls up under her blankets, shivering slightly for no reason whatsoever as she buries her face into her pillow to stop herself from grinning.

 

she’s not gonna look at her phone until tomorrow morning, screw it. she’s just gonna go to sleep and leave toni hanging. she wouldn't be surprised if toni was already blowing up her phone with messages.

 

_she’ll never wanna go on a serpent mission again. ha!_

 

surprisingly, cheryl actually _does_ fall asleep less than ten minutes later despite how incredibly fucking anxious she is about toni seeing the photo. perhaps it’s the exhaustion still clinging to her body after monday and tuesday, or perhaps her body knows that the sooner she sleeps, the sooner it'll be morning, and the sooner she'll see toni in the halls of riverdale high, but regardless, she completely and utterly crashes out.

 

until, of course, the sound of a loud bang against the side of the house wakes her up.

 

she sits up wildly, looking around for the source of the sound with a pounding heart at the thought of intruders, and the fucking police sirens wailing in the distance aren't helping her paranoia, but then she hears a voice echoing out through her open window, and it causes her to pause for a moment.

 

“cher!?”

 

cheryl frowns, confusion from her being woken up so quickly settling deep into her bones as she stifles a yawn and lights her phone up.

 

one in the morning.

 

no new messages from toni. 

 

well then. that's just-

 

"cher?!"

 

oh _shit._

 

“cheryl?! come on, wake up!” the voice yells again, and it slowly dawns on cheryl that it’s _her._

 

it’s toni.

 

cheryl jumps up, throwing the covers off herself before she runs straight to the window. she barrels to a stop at the ledge and looks down to see toni looking up at her, a grin wide on her face as she gives her a little wave. 

 

“you gonna let me in?!” toni yells, quickly glancing around like she's expecting someone else to emerge from the bushes despite the fact that cheryl lives alone, and cheryl feels adrenaline course through her veins as she nods before dashing away from the window to her bedroom door.

 

what was toni doing here in the middle of the night?

 

_oh god, what if she's pissed off about the photo, you fucked up, cheryl, you really fucking fucked up this time-_

 

no, but she was smiling, she _smiled_ at her, she can't be that mad-

 

cheryl rushes down the stairs, running straight to the front door before she unlocks it and almost rips it open in her haste.

 

toni skips her way over to cheryl while simultaneously putting her boot back on, jumping up and down on one leg, cheryl realizing that that was what the loud bang was until the pink haired serpent is standing in front of her. 

 

her face is flushed, almost bright red with sweat dripping down her forehead and matting her pink hair to the skin of her equally sweaty neck, and cheryl stares at her in wide eyed shock.

 

“toni? what-.”

 

toni moves over the threshold, one hand gripping cheryl’s waist and pushing her back further into the house before she kicks the door shut and spins cheryl around, slamming her against the wood and crashing her lips against cheryl’s hungrily. 

 

cheryl lets out a high pitched whine as toni bites down on her lower lip, tugging on it with a light growl as she pants against cheryl breathlessly.

 

“i haven’t…been able…to stop staring...at that photo.” she breathes out between harsh pants for air, her lips trailing from cheryl’s lips down her jaw until she reaches her neck. her hand moves up, cupping cheryl’s neck lightly, her thumb applying pressure to cheryl’s pulse point as the red haired girl rolls her eyes into the back of her head and sinks against the door with a whimper.

 

_oh fuck-_

 

“r-really?” cheryl squeaks out, unable to contain the moan that escapes her when toni bites down on her earlobe and tugs it between her teeth.

 

“mmm…you distracted me. you shouldn’t have done that.” toni says huskily, her hand moving down to fiddle with the hem of cheryl’s nightgown before her nails scratch up her bare thigh harshly. her thumb presses down harder on her pulse, and cheryl grunts, her head falling back against the door with a loud thunk. she’s floating in a completely different headspace, feeling almost numb and lightheaded with arousal when toni pulls back, looking at her with wide eyes before she bites down on her own bottom lip guiltily.

 

“fuck, sorry-.”

 

“n-no. don’t be…i like it.” cheryl admits shyly, her cheeks immediately flushing as she inhales through her nose in an effort to calm herself. 

 

cards on the table, fuck it. cheryl is so fucking _turned on right now-_

 

toni’s eyes are wide, taking in every inch of cheryl before she leans in to press a gentle kiss to her lips, and she goes to move her hand, but cheryl reaches up and wraps her fingers around her wrist to keep her there, her whole body throbbing with need as she licks her lips and brushes her nose against toni’s breathlessly. 

 

“how distracted were you?” cheryl whispers, biting down on her bottom lip and smirking inwardly at how toni groans and nips at her jaw before she pulls back, her eyes moving down to cheryl’s lips before she licks her own.

 

it's hard to determine who's more aroused.

 

“i almost got arrested. cops have been looking for me for at least half an hour. i ran all the way here from the southside.” toni whispers back, looking up into cheryl’s eyes with a sly grin as the red haired girl stares at her in shock.

 

what on earth? she ran all the way here for the _southside?_ god, no wonder she’s so breathless and covered in sweat…

 

cheryl feels like she should be questioning _why_ toni was almost arrested, why she was running from the cops, but fuck, she can barely even focus right now, because toni keeps applying pressure to her pulse point while her other hand scratches up and down her thigh, her lips trailing all over her face and neck-

 

“you r-ran here? toni, why-.”

 

“you know why, don’t play.” toni laughs against her lips, a slight growl to her tone, and cheryl hums softly and closes her eyes, sinking her head back against the door again before toni’s lips suddenly move to her ear.

 

“that collar looks so fucking good on you, cher.” she breathes. cheryl doesn’t even bother containing the shiver that runs up her spine, her jaw clenching as toni presses down on her pulse point again, tongue flicking against her earlobe.

 

fuck, she doesn't know why that has such an effect on her but she's lifting a leg up and attempting to squeeze her thighs every time toni applies pressure to her neck-

 

“i was so distracted the whole goddamn night, cheryl. i couldn’t get that photo out of my head and i _had_ to keep looking at it. i want you, cher, fuck, i _want_ you so bad…” 

 

_fuck, fuck, oh my god, cheryl, you’re a fucking **genius-**_

 

“touch me, toni. please…” cheryl whines, grabbing the hand that’s trailing up her thigh and forcing it higher up her body, but toni slaps her hand away lightly with a breathless laugh. 

 

“nuh uh, you almost got me arrested. you can wait.” she grins, her hand moving away from cheryl’s thigh to grip her waist. cheryl whimpers with need, her whole body throbbing almost painfully as toni hums against her skin before she’s whispering in her ear once again, her voice low and filled with seduction.

 

“maybe i’ll draw it out…maybe i’ll put you through what i almost went through…hands cuffed, unable to move, no control over your situation…how’s that sound to you?” toni pulls back, her voice rough, but her question sincere, and the look in her eyes right now is more than just arousal.

 

_ah…time for a lesson it seems, cheryl._

 

cheryl freezes, panic slightly gripping her as she looks into toni’s eyes to see her genuinely waiting for cheryl’s reply, wanting confirmation and permission for this to happen.

 

this was...a lot. this was giving up the control she so desperately wanted, but she knew that was truth to toni's words when they started this. she couldn't control everything in her life, and it was high time she learned that...sometimes things just _happened._

 

“cher? i need an answer.” toni brushes her thumb over cheryl’s bottom lip gently, and cheryl parts them beneath the pressure of her finger before she nods once. 

 

“yes, i…” cheryl’s voice is so hoarse, her throat so dry as she licks her lips and sinks back against the door again, looking into toni’s eyes with a smile.

 

_“cheryl, you need to learn that there’s some things in life you can’t control…you need to learn to shift the focus so it’s not about controlling the situation, but controlling how you handle it.”_

 

toni simply waits patiently for her full reply.

 

_how are you gonna handle it, cheryl?_

 

“i want it. i want _you_ , toni, do it. do it, please…” cheryl chokes out, her hands gripping toni’s shirt, twisting the fabric between her fingers to tug her closer, and toni’s eyes are wide and filled with lust before she licks her lips and swallows thickly, nodding slowly as she pulls away and grips cheryl’s hand in her own.

 

“bedroom.” she mutters simply, dragging cheryl toward the stairs, and the red haired girl follows in a daze, her whole body throbbing with excitement over what’s waiting for her the second she gets inside her room. 

 

she’s giving complete control to toni, and despite how scared she is, she knows she has nothing to fear. she’s _safe_ with toni, completely and utterly. but what did the pink haired girl have in store for her?

 

cheryl has absolutely no fucking idea, and honestly, it's kind of invigorating. 

 

toni pulls her through the door, hands moving up to cradle her face before she’s pulling cheryl down for a sweet kiss that leaves her smiling against the serpent. toni pulls away, resting her forehead against cheryl’s before she inhales sharply.

 

“are you sure you want this, cheryl?” she asks softly. cheryl nods against her numbly, smiling at the fact that toni knows she has cheryl in the palm of her fucking hand right now, but she's still constantly checking in to make sure that this is what she wants, and god, it is…her whole body is fucking vibrating with an energy she can’t explain, she _needs_ this, even if she has no idea what _this_ is...

 

_no control of the situation. only control over how you handle it..._

 

“stand still, cher. can you do that for me?” toni breathes, pecking her lips gently and smiling when cheryl nods again. she lets out a shaky breath as toni pulls away, the pink haired girl removing her serpent jacket before she lifts her plain white tank top up and over her head with her back turned to cheryl.

 

cheryl bites back a groan at the sight of toni’s back muscles moving beneath her skin with the action, rippling beneath her black lace bra, watches as she unbuttons her jeans and steps out of them before she turns and makes her way back to cheryl slowly, each step filled with purpose, and god, it’s like cheryl’s the fucking deer in the wild and she’s the cheetah, watching her with eyes that slowly move up and down her body, taking in every inch of her…

 

“toni…” cheryl’s voice cracks, and she berates herself for it mentally, but toni pretty much ignores it as she reaches up to cradle cheryl’s cheek in her hand, thumb brushing over her cheekbone affectionately.

 

“if you don’t like anything i’m doing, cheryl, tell me, okay?” she says firmly, watching cheryl carefully as the blossom girl purses her lips and nods.

 

_safe. she’s safe._

 

“i will, i promise, toni.” she says softly. toni smiles before she leans up to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth, cheryl still not daring to move as toni grips the hem of her nightgown and slowly moves it up and off her body. cheryl lifts her arms to allow her to do so, lets them drop back to her sides uselessly as the cold breeze from the open window hits her back gently. she shivers, and toni watches her do so, her eyes roaming over cheryl’s bare chest before she reaches up and trails her fingers down cheryl’s collarbone, between the valley of her breasts and finally, her underwear, hooking her fingers into it and sliding them down her legs painfully slow.

 

they pool at cheryl’s feet, her heart racing despite the many times they’ve done this, and she’s quite sure her heart will never stop beating erratically when it came to sex with toni topaz-

 

“lay down on the bed on your back and close your eyes. don’t peek.” toni croaks out. cheryl bites down on her lower lip to stop herself from whimpering, but her knees buckle, her whole body trembling as toni gives her a quick, reassuring kiss before cheryl turns and does as she’s told, her arms lowering her down as her head rests on the pillow in front of the headboard. she can hear toni fiddling with something, but she does as toni asked and doesn’t look, closing her eyes tightly with a shaky exhale.

 

_oh god, what has she got planned, you’re so fucked, cheryl-_

 

she feels soft fingers encircle her wrist before her arm is being lifted toward the heardboard, and cheryl is expecting to feel the cold bite of metal but instead, she feels soft, fluffy material encircle her wrist, quick knots being made before toni’s moving her fingers down her forearm of her tied hand and reaching for the other, making quick work of it as well. she does the same, tracing her fingers down her forearm before she leans in to whisper into her ear.

 

“too tight?” she whispers. cheryl bites back a groan and shakes her head, pulling on the binds and finding it difficult to move her arms or hands even an inch down. 

 

fuck, this couldn’t be happening, could it? she has no idea what toni has planned, and having her fucking arms tied to the headboard should be terrifying her, but she can practically feel herself dripping onto the fucking sheets with anticipation and arousal-

 

_no control of the situation. only over how you handle it._

 

“keep your eyes closed.” toni hums softly and presses a kiss to her lips before she moves off cheryl, and the red haired girl almost whines from the loss of her warmth, but before she can, she feels the bed dip with weight before a mouth is descending upon hers once again.

 

“that photo, bombshell…you looked so fucking good…” toni whispers, nipping at her jaw before cheryl feels warm hands grab greedily at her breasts. cheryl gasps at her touch, lips parted and eyes fluttering but not opening as she involuntarily tugs on the restraints. god, it feels so fucking good, but she wants to touch toni so badly-

 

toni’s tongue traces the space between her jaw and ear before her teeth tug on her earlobe. she squeezes her breasts again, cheryl sighing in content before she feels toni suddenly shift her weight.

 

toni’s mouth is on her in a heartbeat, lips encircling her nipple and tongue swirling over the hardened bud as cheryl doesn’t even bother holding back the loud groan that escapes her. she arches her back off the bed in an attempt to push her chest further into toni’s mouth, but toni simply rests a hand on her stomach and pushes her back down into the bed, pulling away with a loud pop as cheryl opens her eyes to see her shaking her head with a smirk on her face.

 

“come on, cher, be a good girl for me and keep that back pressed against the mattress, will you?” toni says firmly, leaning down to kiss the corner of her mouth, and cheryl whimpers before she nods against her once, an apology on the tip of her tongue that quickly gets lost in a loud moan when toni’s mouth moves back over her breast again.

 

god, she spends what feels like hours switching between her breasts, nipping and sucking at the bruised skin until tears well in cheryl’s eyes from a mixture of pain and pleasure and frustration. she wants to touch her so fucking badly, but whatever toni used to tie her arms is effective. she can’t move them an inch even if she wanted to.

 

finally, toni pulls away from her nipple with a loud pop before she leans up and kisses cheryl’s lips, tugging on her lower lip harshly before her fingers suddenly move down her stomach and rest right over her center. 

 

she enters two fingers into cheryl slowly, fingers curling up and hitting her spot almost immediately, and cheryl tries not to arch her back, but it’s no fucking use, her hips bucking up into toni’s hand as well as she lets out a loud, high pitched whine.

 

“fuck!” she grunts out, teeth biting down on her lower lip before her lips part in a breathless gasp as toni pulls her fingers out and back in just as slowly. her thumb hovers over the quivering bud of cheryl’s clit before she presses down on it, silencing cheryl’s loud moan with a feverish kiss that has the red haired girl’s mind spinning. 

 

it's almost all too much, the way toni's free hand moves up to wrap around cheryl’s neck again, her thumb applying pressure to her pulse point once more, and cheryl writhes underneath her in pleasure as she lets out a shaky gasp, eyes rolling into the back of her head when toni leans down to kiss her firmly.

 

“cher, if i’m being too rough-.” toni starts with a whisper against her lips, but cheryl leans up and silences her with a kiss of her own, moaning against her before she shakes her head furiously.

 

“you’re n-not, be as rough as you want, toni, just _fuck me_ , please!” cheryl begs, almost sobbing with need because she’s been throbbing all yesterday and today and toni keeps delaying, why was she prolonging her torture-

 

toni doesn’t say anything, just lets out a whimper before she’s suddenly moving her kisses down cheryl’s body, lips attacking her chest once more, nipping at the hardened bud of both nipples before she bites down on the skin of her ribs harshly. cheryl bucks into her touch, gasping as toni finally moves down to where cheryl needs her most. 

 

a warm tongue slides up her folds, two fingers still pumping in and out of her mercilessly, and cheryl screams, not a single care for who hears her worrying her mind as toni takes cheryl’s words to heart.

 

her nails scratch down cheryl’s thighs, digging into the skin harshly before she’s curling her fingers up into cheryl and pressing them into her, teeth scraping at her clit-

 

cheryl doesn’t even know how it hits her so quickly, but it does, her whole body trembling as she lefts out one long, loud moan of pleasure, and she can feel herself clenching around toni’s fingers, knows toni can feel it too, but the thing is…

 

the thing is she _keeps going._

 

toni doesn’t stop for a single second, tongue licking up every inch of arousal before she slides her fingers out of cheryl and moves her mouth away, making eye contact with the red haired girl as she licks her fingers clean and lets out a moan that has cheryl tugging on the restraints with an almost choked out sob.

 

she wants to touch her so fucking badly-

 

“t-toni-.”

 

“shh…” toni moves over her, smirking as she rests her arms on either side of cheryl’s body and ducks down to kiss her softly. cheryl moans at the taste of herself on toni’s lips, tangy and somewhat sweet, and the pink haired girl hums against her before she grips cheryl’s thighs and lifts them up to encircle her waist, cheryl’s breath hitching at the action before toni’s plunging two fingers into her heat once more, her lips moving down to attack cheryl’s neck when the girl throws her head back with a whine.

 

“seeing that collar around this pretty little neck of yours, cher…i can’t wait to put it on you.” she whispers into her skin, teeth scraping over her collarbone as she thrusts into cheryl particularly hard, causing the red haired girl to gasp and bite down on her lower lip to stop herself from screaming. her whole body feels like it's on fire, every touch from toni making her gasp in pleasure, and cheryl whines as toni thrusts in a little deeper, her eyes closing on instinct as she sucks a deep breath in.

 

toni, however, takes that as encouragement, and she grunts before she’s suddenly thrusting into cheryl harder, her hips pushing into her hand to move her fingers in as deep as they can go while her lips continue to attack cheryl’s neck, over and over again until cheryl feels that coil in her stomach build to its peak once more-

 

she comes a second time, legs squeezing toni’s waist with each pulse of her body, and she can hear the headboard straining from how hard she’s pulling on the restraints as she gasps for air, desperately trying to stop the tears from welling in her eyes because it's all too much-

 

toni keeps _fucking going._

 

cheryl almost wails with exhaustion, her body unable to take much more despite the fact that she _wants_ to keep going, but toni has complete control of her with her hands tied to the headboard, unable to do a single thing to stop her, and cheryl thought this would be restricting, claustrophobic even, but fuck, she’s _loving_ every second of this. toni’s taking complete charge, and the fact that every time she tries to flex her hands to run them through toni’s hair, she’s stopped by the ties that bind her hands to the headboard…she finds it’s almost invigorating, challenging…

 

cheryl blossom was born to handle challenges. and this one was an all new one to her.

 

toni must be expecting cheryl to tap out, but the red haired girl grits her teeth and allows herself to succumb to the pleasure instead of the sensitivity ploughing through her body. if toni wants to give her another orgasm, she’ll fucking take it, no matter how sensitive her body is-

 

no control over the situation, but all the control over how she handles it.

 

_yeah, okay...i get it now, you sneaky bitch..._

 

toni suddenly pulls out of her, looking her in the eyes with a smirk as cheryl whines breathlessly, hands clenching and unclenching, and toni uncoils cheryl’s legs from around her waist before she presses a kiss to cheryl’s lips gently.

 

“i wanna try something. if you don’t like it, tell me.” she says firmly, looking into cheryl's eyes for any hesitaiton, but she finds none. cheryl licks her lips and nods once, her eyes fluttering closed with exhaustion before toni smiles and suddenly curls her arm around cheryl’s back, helping her turn over until she’s lying on her stomach, the ties around her wrists twisting to cross over each other in the process, and before cheryl can say anything, toni wraps an arm around her stomach and props her up onto her knees.

 

“oh, f-fuck-.” cheryl chokes out, fingers curling around the headboard with white knuckles as her whole body throbs with arousal once more. god, her heart is racing so fucking fast right now as toni smooths a hand down her back, moving off the bed to stand beside it before resting her palm onto cheryl's lower back. she sinks two fingers of her right hand back into cheryl’s throbbing center harshly.

 

cheryl cries out, the different angle making her feel even more fuller then before as toni uses the hand on her lower back to guide cheryl back and forth onto her fingers, her lips moving down to kiss up cheryl’s spine tenderly despite how fucking quickly she’s moving her fingers in and out of her, and fuck, fuck, _fuck_ , she's gonna come any second now-

 

“come on, good girl…one more for me, cher, you can do it.” toni says in an encouraging tone, her free hand snaking up cheryl’s spine until she’s suddenly curling her fingers into cheryl’s hair-

 

she tugs on the roots harshly, cheryl’s head snapping back with a loud groan as she clenches around toni’s fingers desperately. she gasps for air as toni moves down to suddenly whisper into her ear.

 

“hold it, cheryl. don’t cum until i tell you to.”

 

oh _god_ , what the fuck, there’s no way-

 

“i c-can’t, toni-.” cheryl tries to gasp out, but toni tugs slightly on her hair before pressing a kiss to the back of her shoulder.

 

“yes, you can, baby…you can, just breathe…control, cher, you’ve got this.” 

 

_ah, right…the lesson to be learned._

 

this is the situation. how is cheryl gonna handle it?

 

cheryl grits her teeth, her whole body trembling as toni continues sliding her fingers into cheryl so perfectly that it’s taking absolutely everything within the redhead not to come. she’s gripping the steel poles of the headboard and clenching every muscle in her body, whimpering and whining, and it doesn’t fucking help when toni tugs on her hair again, cheryl almost screaming in pleasure as it rips through her body-

 

“not until i say, cher.” toni reiterates, her fingers thrusting in _harder_ , and it’s fucking impossible, she can’t hold this off much longer-

 

_breathe, keep breathing, just keep breathing-_

 

toni bites down on her shoulder before she’s thrusting her fingers in as deep as they can possibly go, and then, finally-

 

“let go, baby.” 

 

cheryl’s head sags, a sob of relief that quickly turns into soft wailing escaping her as she climaxes harder than she ever has in her entire life, her whole body trembling and shaking as toni slowly begins to taper off thrusts, fingers caressing cheryl’s back tenderly as she does. cheryl has no idea how long this orgasm lasts for, but it feels like at least a full two minutes before cheryl’s knees give out as soon it's over, collapsing onto her stomach with a huff as her arms burn slightly.

 

_holy shit...that's never happened before._

 

“good girl…you did amazing, cher.” toni breathes, chuckling as she presses kisses up and down cheryl’s sweat soaked back. she reaches for the ties, undoing them and letting cheryl’s arms drops uselessly to the bed before she’s gripping them and moving them to rest at her sides, fingers massaging the muscles gently to bring the feeling back into them. cheryl smiles lazily, humming at the feeling that’s exploding through her body right now before toni suddenly leans down to kiss her temple. 

 

“you okay, bombshell?” she asks with a smile. cheryl scoffs, can’t even believe toni’s asking her that question when she’s currently floating on fucking cloud nine-

 

she has no idea what headspace she's in right now, but she never wants to fucking leave. holy shit...

 

“yeah…” she breathes out simply. toni chuckles and suddenly moves around the bed until she’s laying on cheryl’s other side, the red haired girl turning onto her side to face her as toni purses her lips and observes her for a few moments.

 

and cheryl blurts out the first thing that comes to her mind.

 

“i liked it, toni. i liked it a lot…you had control of the situation, but i had control over how i handled it…it’s exactly like you said.” cheryl says hoarsely, still trying to regain her breath, and toni grins before she leans in to press a kiss to cheryl’s lips quickly.

 

“you learn fast.” cheryl grins and returns the kiss, a lot more slower this time before she pulls back.

 

“mmm, i have a good teacher.”

 

“ooh, does this mean we can do a student/teacher roleplay in the future?” toni teases, and cheryl swats at her thigh playfully.

 

“no, you perv.” she chastises. toni giggles, but smiles all the same and brushes cheryl’s hair back from her sweaty neck, deep in thought before she suddenly leans in to kiss cheryl deeply. she moves over the top of her, her nose skimming down her jawline before she's tucking it under cheryl's chin and using it to nudge her head up to expose her neck. she lathers the black and blue skin with kisses before she hums against her throat softly.

 

“thank you, for giving me control tonight, cheryl. next time you can do whatever you want to me, okay? balance of power. yin and yang or whatever that bullshit is.” toni mutters, waving her hand nonchalantly with a chuckle, but cheryl doesn't pay any attention. 

 

for some strange reason, instead, she finds herself getting emotional.

 

it takes her a few genuine moments to sort it out, but once she does, it hits her that it’s because for the first time in her entire life, someone doesn’t want to have power over her, doesn’t want to belittle her to make her feel small, doesn't want to use their power over her like her father had said was the only thing people did way back when.

 

balance of power. toni wanted balance of fucking power-

 

cheryl grips toni’s face in her hands and kisses her deeply, tongue moving against toni’s as the pink haired girl makes a noise of surprise before returning the kiss eagerly, and when cheryl pulls away, she rests her forehead against toni’s equally sweaty one with a deep sigh.

 

where did this girl come from? god, it was incredible, just how the simple act of southside high shutting down could lead to all of this, but it has, and cheryl doesn't even know how to begin to process it. but she doesn't have to.

 

because toni was here, wasn't she? she was here with cheryl right now, giving her three fucking orgasms in a row and sending her into a blissful state of euphoria...

 

“i’m so happy i have you, toni.” cheryl whispers, looking at the serpent before her with as much sincerity as she can.

 

toni’s eyes widen at her words, and to cheryl’s complete and utter surprise even though she's seen toni cry before, tears well within toni's eyes before she sniffs them back and raises a hand to brush her fingers over cheryl’s cheek lightly.

 

"i'm happy i have you too, cheryl. when i'm with you...when i'm with you, i don’t feel so alone anymore...” toni whispers back, her voice trembling slightly. cheryl bites down on her bottom lip to stop it from quivering, her heart racing as a sudden, crashing realization hits her.

 

this really wasn’t just a sexual relationship between them, was it? this was so much more than that…for the both of them. this was connection, this was pure and unadulterated connection, two souls who were so clearly destined to meet...

 

_maybe there’s hope for you yet, cheryl. maybe you’re not destined to spend the rest of your life alone…_

 

“i can’t believe my night started with me running from the cops and ended with…that.” toni says with a light laugh, turning to rest on her back with an exasperated sigh as cheryl hums softly and rests her head on toni’s shoulder with a suppressed yawn and a wide grin.

 

god, she really made the right choice sending that fucking nude-

 

“that collar must’ve really done a number on you.” cheryl says sheepishly, grinning when toni snorts loudly and swats at her thigh playfully in reprimand. 

 

"don't be cheeky." she murmurs. cheryl grins, but it's silent between them for a few moments, the both of them processing what just happened. cheryl hesitates, turning her head slightly to look at the box before she takes a deep breath in.

 

once toni puts that collar on her, everything changes. the collar no longer becomes just _hers._

 

it becomes about something more than just control.

 

_are you sure you’re ready to take that step, cheryl?_

 

“toni…” cheryl swallows the lump that quickly builds in her throat, and when toni hums and turns to look at her, her fingers still moving up and down cheryl's bare back, she looks up into chocolate brown eyes and makes the decision in less than a second.

 

because cheryl's quite sure she'll never see the amount of care and support currently shining in toni's eyes in anyone else's she knows or ever will know in her life.

 

“can you put the collar on me?” cheryl whispers hoarsely, her fingers twisting nervously together. toni tenses a little, blinking in surprise before she lets out a shaky breath and nods once.

 

“of course, cher. it’s kind of all i’ve been thinking about since i saw the photo.” she rasps out with a chuckle. cheryl smiles, letting out a sigh of relief as she does before she sits up.

 

her body is aching in all the right places and for all the right reasons, and she licks her lips as she grabs the box and moves it onto the bed. toni sits up slowly, crossing her legs in front of her as cheryl turns around until her back is facing toni. she can feel toni fiddling with the box beside her, and the pink haired serpent lets out a deep sigh before she leans in to press a kiss to cheryl’s shoulder.

 

“are you sure, baby?” she asks softly. cheryl feels a shiver run up her spine at the word. it’s the first time toni’s called her that outside of them having sex.

 

she finds she kind of likes it.

 

she purses her lips to stop herself from grinning and nods before she grips toni’s hand in her own and gives it a gentle squeeze.

 

“i’m sure.” she breathes. she grabs her sweat matted hair, pulling it all to one side and away from the nap of her neck, and toni licks her lips before she reaches into the box and pulls the collar out carefully. cheryl rests her hands in her lap, her heart thundering in her ears from the anticipation as toni brushes away the stray hairs she missed before she drops a kiss onto cheryl’s shoulder. she trails gentle, open mouthed kisses all the way to the back of her neck before she’s sliding the collar around cheryl’s neck ever so gently.

 

the second the lambskin comes into contact with cheryl’s neck, she exhales shakily, feeling the tension leave her body slowly as toni’s nimble fingers work with the buckle. oh god, it's almost ten times better, feeling toni's soft fingers work the buckle into place...cheryl bites down on her lower lip and swallows thickly to control herself as toni trails her fingers down cheryl’s bare back. 

 

“not too tight?” toni asks huskily. cheryl shakes her head and finally turns to face her, and toni’s eyes roam over her face, awe and wonder shining in her eyes before she leans in to press a kiss to her throat just below where the collar is resting.

 

“you look beautiful, cher.” she whispers.

 

cheryl smiles, unable to stop herself as she closes her eyes and simply soaks it all in. 

 

 _damn…all this over a nude. who would’ve thought?_

 

toni cradles her face in her hands, causing cheryl’s eyes to open before toni leans in to kiss her gently, and when she pulls away, she rests her forehead on cheryl’s, her fingers reaching up to brush over the collar before they move under it to touch the heated and bruised skin there.

 

“can you wear it for me to school tomorrow?” toni asks in a low voice, looking into cheryl’s eyes cautiously for any negative reaction, and sure, cheryl’s breath hitches, and she immediately feels her palms grow sweaty at the idea of wearing this thing that’s helping her keep herself together out in public, but she knows it can easily pass as a choker, and as long as she keeps her hair down to hide the buckle, no one will question it.

 

besides, the idea of toni meeting her eyes from across the cafeteria tomorrow with cheryl wearing the collar around her neck, the both of them knowing what it symbolized for not only cheryl, but for the both of them as well…

 

cheryl bites back a groan and finds herself nodding against toni with a smile.

 

“of course, toni. nothing would make me happier.” 

 

toni smiles widely before she gives cheryl a quick peck on the lips.

 

"good...i can put it on for you in the morning if you want." toni says, her voice slightly muffled as she suppresses a yawn, and cheryl grins and cocks an eyebrow at her.

 

"inviting yourself to stay the night, are we?" she teases. toni's eyes widen, and she's about to reply with a deep apology when cheryl chuckles and shakes her head, leaning in to press a kiss to toni's forehead.

 

"i'm kidding around. of course you can stay here the night..." toni rolls her eyes, but smiles all the same and kisses her lips quickly.

 

"thanks, cher."

 

"you're welcome, toni. and this time...you're sleeping in my bed next to me." 

 

"wouldn't dream of sleeping anywhere else, bombshell."


	8. you're worth more than that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you don't already know, i have a twitter, you can follow me there at @endofdaysforme, i'll mostly post updates on my writing and let you know when i'm updating! :)
> 
> this is uh...about 75% smut so enjoy! i promise we'll be getting into an actual storyline very soon lmao
> 
> leave comments letting me know what you think!

it’s absolutely _astounding._

 

toni’s whole body is quivering beneath her, teeth gritted and eyes brimming with tears as each thrust of cheryl’s fingers move deeper inside her, but still…

 

still, the girl doesn’t make a _single sound._

 

cheryl’s astonished, completely shocked. no matter how hard she’s thrusted into toni, curling her fingers and spreading them out inside her, toni has simply stayed silent, her nails digging into cheryl’s back, into the sheets beneath their bodies, and cheryl can see the strain in her eyes, the look of complete and utter anguish and how the veins in her neck pop out with the effort to stay quiet.

 

it’s admirable, really.

 

“you’re doing so well, toni…fuck, i didn’t think you could actually do it.” cheryl breathes, pressing a kiss to the girl’s neck and relishing in how she shivers beneath her as cheryl thrusts her fingers in slowly once more. 

 

she’d woken up this morning to toni’s limbs entangled with hers, naked skin pressed against naked skin, and despite the fatigue that was still settled into her bones, despite how sore her muscles were and how much her body ached, it didn’t stop cheryl from immediately getting _turned on_ when toni had snuggled closer to her in her sleep and her center had brushed across cheryl’s thigh.

 

the girl was practically _dripping_ , and cheryl wasn’t about to let them go to school without toni getting some relief. she may be a selfish person, but when it came to toni, she refused to be. 

 

so she decided to take toni’s offer to do whatever she wanted with her right then and there, kissing the girl to consciousness before whispering into her ear not to make a single sound or she’ll stop before toni can reach her climax. 

 

cheryl’s incredibly impressed. it’s been at least ten minutes of teasing now, cheryl only occasionally lifting her thumb to brush over toni’s clit to relish in the shudder that ripples through toni’s body every time she does it.

 

toni’s head sags down, teeth biting down on her bottom lip to stop it from trembling, and god, she’s trying so goddamn hard not to make a sound…it’s hard to know if she’s doing something right without toni making noises of approval, but she can feel how hard toni is shaking in her position pinned beneath cheryl’s body, and cheryl almost _wants_ her to make a sound despite the fact that she wants to bring toni to her climax. she’s certainly trying her damn hardest to make her.

 

cheryl moves down her body, pressing gentle kisses to her skin while still thrusting her fingers in and out, and she slides her tongue over the goosebumps around her breast before biting at the hardened nub, swirling her tongue over the sting of her teeth to soothe the wound. 

 

toni inhales sharply, and cheryl feels her center throb and her heart pound in her ears at the sound as she smirks and pulls away from toni’s chest with a loud pop to look up at her.

 

“what was that?” cheryl asks huskily, cocking an eyebrow as toni purses her lips and shakes her head to say she didn’t say anything. cheryl contemplates stopping, but decides to let it go as she moves back down with a hum against toni’s skin, nipping at her ribs playfully as she hesitates on actually going down on the girl beneath her.

 

it’s something she’s always wanted to do, and fuck, she hasn’t been able to get the taste of toni out of her mind since she tried it on sunday night, but what if she isn’t good at it? what if she completely humiliates herself and toni ends up running for the hills? 

 

_won’t know until you try it, cheryl. gotta take risks, remember?_

 

cheryl takes a deep breath in, taking pleasure in this newfound bravery of hers before she moves back up toni’s body with gentle kisses, stopping at her lips to brush her own against them gently before she’s trailing them over her cheek to her ear.

 

“think you can handle my fingers _and_ my tongue, kitten?” she whispers, nipping at her earlobe and grinning when toni’s back arches off the bed, her nails digging into cheryl’s back as she presses the side of her face against cheryl’s and breathes deeply with a furious nod. 

 

cheryl licks her lips before she moves back down, pressing kisses to toni’s caramel skin before she inhales sharply and swallows the lump in her throat when she settles on her stomach between toni’s legs. she looks up and meets toni’s eyes, sees the girl smiling at her encouragingly before she holds her hand out for cheryl to take. 

 

the red haired girl smiles up at her softly before she takes toni’s hand, interlacing their fingers and settling them on top of toni’s hipbone before she wets her lips and nods at the girl.

 

“not a sound, toni. hold it in.” she says sternly. toni purses her lips and nods again, and cheryl grins before she closes her eyes and forces her heart to calm down as she leans forward and experimentally flicks her tongue through toni’s folds. 

 

the reaction is immediate. cheryl groans in pleasure at the taste that fills her tongue at the same time that toni squeezes her hand and bangs her other hand onto the mattress in what cheryl suspects is a mixture of frustration and pleasure. cheryl swears she hears the slightest sound escape the pink haired girl, and she knows she’s right when toni’s free hand flies up to cover her mouth, her chest heaving as she squeezes her eyes shut and places a leg over cheryl’s shoulder. 

 

“i’ll pretend i didn’t hear that, but next time you won’t be so lucky.” cheryl says firmly, nipping at toni’s inner thigh in reprimand and grinning when toni’s toes curl at the action. cheryl flattens her tongue out against toni’s center now and drags her tongue up carefully until she reaches toni’s clit, lips closing around the strained bud to suck softly as she continues thrusting her fingers in deeply, imitating what toni had done to her all those nights ago, curling them up to hit toni’s g-spot rhythmically with her lips. toni’s hips buck up off the bed, almost smacking her right in the jaw, and cheryl looks up to see her hand is still over her mouth, tears falling down the sides of her face and her eyes screwed shut in concentration. 

 

“how badly do you want to scream right now, toni?” cheryl breathes against her, watching her in complete and utter awe before pressing a kiss over the bruise forming on her inner thigh. she slackens her jaw and moves her tongue through toni’s center once more, gathering up her arousal and savoring the taste on the roof of her mouth with a soft moan. toni’s nails dig into the back of her palm as she squeezes her hand, and god, her whole face is flushed with the effort to contain herself, it almost seems unfair.

 

god, seeing her like this…cheryl _wants to hear her._

 

“let me hear you when you come, babe, tell me how good i make you feel.” cheryl whispers, bringing her spare hand up to smooth over toni’s stomach, and she feels her abdominal muscles tense up and ripple beneath her skin as she thrusts her fingers in deeper and flicks her tongue over toni’s clit-

 

toni’s whole body tenses beneath her as her body arches into cheryl’s touch and the most arousing, most filthiest moan she’s ever heard in her entire life echoes around her bedroom, tapered off by loud gasping and equally filthy groans as toni’s hips buck up into cheryl’s mouth repeatedly. cheryl keeps dragging her tongue up and down through toni’s arousal, licking her clean as her fingers slow down to a stop when toni’s erotic moans turn into soft whimpers, her body settling back down onto the mattress in fatigue.

 

cheryl waits for a few moments as toni’s chest heaves with dramatic gasps of air before she pulls her fingers out of her slowly, toni letting out a high pitched whine at the action as cheryl trails soft, sticky kisses up her body. she reaches toni’s lips, raising an eyebrow at the girl beneath her with a smirk before toni curls a hand around the back of her neck and pulls her down for a bruising kiss.

 

“holy…fuck…bombshell…” toni breathes against her desperately, tongue snaking out to lick her own arousal of cheryl’s bottom lip and causing the red haired girl to bite back a whimper. 

 

“i’m impressed, toni. i didn’t think you could do it.” cheryl says with a shaky chuckle, holding herself up with her hands on either side of toni’s head as the pink haired girl sinks back against the pillows with a tired sigh and a lazy smile.

 

“that was so fucking hard, cheryl…how did you even think of that?” toni breathes, her fingers scratching at the baby hairs at the nape of cheryl’s neck, and cheryl fights back a shiver at the feeling, thinking of the collar resting in the box on the bedside table to her left as she bites down on her bottom lip and leans down to trace her lips across toni’s jawline.

 

“earlier this morning…you helped me see that having control all the time isn’t possible, that sometimes i need to relinquish control of the situation and focus instead on controlling how i handle it…” cheryl hears toni gasp for air as she nudges her nose under toni’s chin to tilt her head back, lips pressing gentle kisses to the column of her throat before she utters her next sentence somewhat nervously. 

 

“when you spoke to me about your mother the other day, you told me that your whole life, you’ve felt like you’ve been silenced…like you couldn’t talk to anyone about what you were feeling because you felt like they’d judge you for being upset at your mother when she was so broken and damaged…i wanted to show you that staying silent about how you feel about her can hurt more than it can heal.” cheryl whispers against her skin, hoping against hope that toni doesn’t get mad at her for this, it was just a passing thought, and toni had done so much for her not only last night, but this whole week since they started this thing between them.

 

toni had showed her that being silent about how _she_ felt was only hurting her more than helping her. cheryl knew that now, and having toni to talk to, god, this last week has been fucking _magical_ , but she can still see the apprehension in toni’s eyes when she talked about herself, especially her mother. cheryl has a feeling why, but it’s way too early for her to be broaching that topic with toni, she knows it. toni hasn’t seen her mother in over ten years now, of course there was still a lot of mixed emotions that the serpent girl hasn’t dealt with because of it…

 

_one day, cheryl. but not now…get to know her more._

 

toni inhales sharply at her words, and her fingers dig into cheryl’s back before she reaches up to cradle cheryl’s cheek in her hand to get her to pull back, which she does.

 

toni stares back at her with tear filled eyes, a shaky smile forming on trembling lips before she leans up to kiss cheryl softly, tears falling down the sides of her face and into her pink, sweat soaked hair as she sighs against her. 

 

“thank you.” she says in a small voice against her lips that has cheryl’s heart breaking as she sighs and kisses her again, pushing her down back onto the pillows as she does before she returns to pressing soothing, pattering kisses to toni’s neck.

 

“you’re welcome.” she murmurs. toni hums softly, her fingers raking through red hair before cheryl feels the vibration of a chuckle from toni’s throat against her lips.

 

“giving each other life lessons through sex…that’s one way to do it.” toni murmurs with a grin. cheryl rolls her eyes and pushes herself up to meet toni’s eyes once more. the pink haired serpent smiles up at her fondly before cheryl sighs and reaches for her phone on the bedside table, unlocking it to look at the time.

 

“shit, it’s almost seven, we need to get ready for school.” cheryl murmurs, moving to push herself up off toni, who whines and wraps her legs around cheryl’s waist to keep her from moving at all.

 

“do we have to? can’t we just stay here? i’m not gonna get to see you this afternoon or tonight, i’m working, and f.p’s probably gonna give me an earful for ditching the others when i was running from the cops.” toni pouts like a petulant child, and cheryl raises an eyebrow.

 

“who’s f.p?” cheryl asks with a frown of confusion. toni sighs and runs her fingers up and down cheryl’s back with pursed lips before she answers. 

 

“jughead’s dad. he’s the serpent king…our leader, in a way.” she says firmly with a roll of her eyes, contradicting her very statement. cheryl’s frown only deepens, and she hesitates before she asks her next question.

 

she doesn’t want to piss toni off by asking her about serpent stuff, but she _did_ come to her home for refuge, she kind of deserves to know…

 

“why were the police even after you last night, toni?” she asks in a soft murmur. toni’s expression hardens, and cheryl’s heart stops, regret flooding her before the girl suddenly rolls her eyes again and shakes her head.

 

“there’s this rival gang on the southside, the ghoulies…they’ve been trying to bring the serpents down for years, claim territory over the whole southside and get rid of us. last month, they threw fucking baseballs with their symbol on it at the wyrm and broke four windows, so jughead wanted someone to tag their territory with snake graffiti, really simple, petty shit to piss them off and get payback when they least expected it. me, sweet pea, fangs decided to do it just to get away from him cause he kind of pisses us off, and some cop car turned the corner and caught us. we just bolted, and i already had plans to come and see you after we were done because that _fucking photo_ …so i told sweet pea and fangs to get back to the wyrm while i just…ran to your place. i would’ve gotten here earlier if i had my bike…” toni says with a sheepish grin.

 

cheryl takes in the information with a few blinks of her eyes, frozen in surprise. it seems like such a small thing, but it’s definitely more law breaking than cheryl’s ever done. toni was…kind of an anarchist…

 

toni leans up and pecks her lips quickly, pulling her out of her thoughts. 

 

“point is…i’m probably gonna get yelled at tonight, and i’d rather spend my morning fucking you and being with someone who makes me happy than going to school and being miserable.” toni says with a slight pout that cheryl can’t help but smile at, her heart melting at the sight before she kisses the pout away with a shake of her head.

 

“as tempting as it is, toni, we have an english report to hand in, remember?” cheryl says with a raised eyebrow, brushing her thumb over the small serpent tattoo on the side of toni’s ribcage beside her breast. toni’s eyes widen before she groans and claps a hand over her forehead.

 

“fuuuuck…”

 

“let me guess, you didn’t do it.” cheryl says with an exasperated sigh, and toni scoffs and looks up at her in amusement.

 

“excuse you, i actually _did_ , thank you very much. it’s just that my school bag is at home and my report’s inside it. oh well, guess we have to stay here and-.”

 

“nuh uh. come on, we’re showering and then we’ll swing by your place to pick it up.” cheryl says with a shake of her head, gripping toni’s thighs and pulling them off from around her waist with difficulty because of how fucking _strong_ toni’s legs are.

 

“nooooo, bombshell…”

 

“no excuses. come on.” toni rolls her eyes, but sighs as cheryl jumps up off the bed and pulls her along as she groans loudly.

 

“fine.” she grumbles, and cheryl chuckles as she leads her into the bathroom, heading straight for the shower in the corner and turning the water on. toni slaps a palm down on cheryl’s backside playfully, earning her a glare from the red head as she winks at her.

 

“i don’t have any clothes here, cher.” 

 

“you can borrow mine until we get to your place.” cheryl says with a simple shrug, and toni’s grin only widens as she enters the shower after cheryl, wrapping her arms around her from behind and dropping a kiss to her shoulder.

 

“mmm, does that involve underwear?” she teases. cheryl laughs before she simply nods once and sinks under the water with a soft hum. they somehow manage to shower without fucking each other, which cheryl considers a goddamn miracle, and once they’re done, cheryl throws toni a pair of denim shorts and an old shirt she doesn’t wear anymore. toni takes it upon herself to rifle through cheryl’s underwear drawer, and she ends up picking black lace panties that have cheryl’s mouth watering the second she slides them on. 

 

_that stupid perfect body of hers, fuck…_

 

once they’re both dressed and cheryl’s finished putting on her makeup, adding the finishing touches in the mirror and doing her best to cover up the hickies covering her neck, but the bruise on her pulse point from last night is almost impossible to cover up. she sighs in frustration and looks up to see toni fiddling with the box on the bedside table in the mirror, her back turned to cheryl before she slowly spins around with the collar in her hands.

 

“cher?” she calls out softly. cheryl simply makes eye contact with her in the mirror before she licks her lips and nods once nervously.

 

she’s wearing it to school today.

 

_for her, cheryl. for **toni.**_

 

the pink haired girl makes her way over to cheryl, and she stands behind her, chest pressed against her back before she delicately wraps a hand around cheryl’s throat, thumb brushing over the bruise on her pulse point lightly. cheryl swallows thickly and ignores the throbbing between her legs before toni brushes away her hair from her neck, moving it all to one side as she slowly slips the collar around it.

 

cheryl closes her eyes at the feeling, exhaling shakily as toni’s fingers delicately clasp the buckle shut. she leans down to kiss the space on the back of her neck just beneath the collar before pressing another kiss to the back of her head. 

 

“stunning.” she murmurs into her ear, looking at her in the mirror with a smile before she helps cheryl move her hair to cover the back of her neck. as soon as toni’s satisfied, she lets out a soft hum and simply holds her hand out for cheryl to take, which she does, her whole body buzzing with an energy she’s never felt before.

 

they walk together to cheryl’s impala, toni lighting a cigarette on the way and jumping over the passenger door instead of opening it like a normal human, collapsing onto the seat with a grin as she takes a drag, and cheryl rolls her eyes, but smiles fondly as she steps into the driver’s seat and starts the car up.

 

“you have to tell me where i’m going.” she says simply, pulling out of thistlehouse’s driveway and watching as toni suddenly sighs deeply, smoke escaping her mouth and nose as she does.

 

“you can’t judge me when we get there, cher-bear.” she says, cheryl feeling a shudder run up at her spine at yet another nickname as she purses her lips and grabs her sunglasses off the dashboard to slide them over her eyes.

 

“why would i judge you? i know you live in a trailer park, toni.” toni’s eyes widen in surprise, and she licks her lips nervously before she answers. 

 

“you do?”

 

“yeah, you told sweet pea to take your bike back to the trailer park at the party, remember?” cheryl says fondly, and toni has an equally fond look in her eyes as she chuckles and shrugs once, her body visibly relaxing into the seat with relief.

 

“completely forgot. okay, well still…don’t judge me.” 

 

the rest of the ride is relatively silent, toni gripping cheryl’s hand over the gearshift and interlacing their fingers as she passes over her cigarette to cheryl every once in a while. it’s strangely calming, being this kind of domestic with toni, but when toni tells her to pull left and cheryl sees the sign that says ‘sunnyside trailer park’, she finds her heart quickly pounding against her chest as the realization hits her that she’s on the southside.

 

it must show in her face, because toni frowns and lets out a deep sigh.

 

“hey, i said no judging.” she grumbles, her cheeks turning red as cheryl quickly stutters out a reply with similar embarrassment.

 

“n-no, i’m not judging, i’m just…a little nervous. it’s the southside, i’ve never been here before.” cheryl says truthfully. toni simply chuckles and reaches over to press a kiss to cheryl’s cheek.

 

“don’t worry, we don’t bite…much.” she teases. cheryl rolls her eyes, and grins at her.

 

“well, that’s a lie, and i have the marks to prove it.” she teases. toni giggles but settles back into the seat happily, and cheryl finds herself smiling despite her fear of being on the southside. when they pass a second welcome sign, understanding sweeps through cheryl when she reads the small message spray painted beneath it.

 

_‘home to the southside serpents’._

 

cheryl simply hums in acknowledgement, and toni rolls her eyes before she guides cheryl through the trailer park, coming to a stop at one that’s parked near the cavalcade of trees behind the trailer park. 

 

it doesn’t look too old, but cheryl can tell it’s been through at least two generations, and cheryl finds herself wincing when she realizes this must be the home that toni shared with her mother as toni leans over to give her another quick kiss on the cheek.

 

“i’d invite you inside, but i’ll only be like ten minutes, i just gotta change and fix my face.” toni says sheepishly, but cheryl can see in her eyes that she’s hesitant to invite cheryl in for a different reason. there’s slight fear in those chocolate brown eyes of hers that cheryl knows is reflected in her own, but she decides not to comment on it.

 

it can wait until they have another talking session.

 

“what’s wrong with your face? it’s beautiful, toni.” cheryl says with a smile, and toni once again rolls her eyes, but she lets out a sigh of relief and kisses her on the lips this time before she’s jumping out of the car, opening the door to exit like a normal person instead. cheryl reaches into her purse and pulls out her cigarettes, lighting one up and glancing around anxiously despite herself as toni enters her trailer. a few moments pass, cheryl slowly coming to terms with where she is as she puffs on her cigarette for something to distract herself.

 

she was on the southside. in the middle of the serpents home.

 

the thought, however, for some strange reason, makes her grin widely despite the anxiety currently pounding through her body.

 

oh, if her mother and father could see her now…her father was probably rolling around in his grave, not that cheryl cared. they hated the southside and everything to do with it, and yet here cheryl was, in her impala, right in the snake pit waiting for the southside serpent girl she’s been fucking for almost a week now. 

 

she never did like playing by the rules.

 

still, after being raised by her parents to believe that the southside and everything about it held nothing good, cheryl can’t help but be a little apprehensive right now. it didn’t help that the sound of police sirens very often echoes out from the other side of the tracks, the blossom estate close enough to the bridge between the north and southside for cheryl to constantly hear them. she knows the southside isn’t the best place for a girl like her to be hanging out.

 

but she also knows she’s safe. toni’s here with her, and none of the serpents seem to be around. it’s still early in the morning, so perhaps that’s why, but she still finds herself fidgeting nervously, wanting toni to hurry things up so they can just get to school as soon as possible. she just didn’t want some other southside serpent seeing her and accusing her of trespassing or whatever, and then pulling a knife on her or something…and she didn’t want toni to get in trouble for bringing a northsider here, let alone a blossom. even though she’s quite sure jughead jones more than likely brings betty cooper here often, cheryl still can’t help but think she’d have a harder time gaining any popularity with the serpents than betty.

 

a few more minutes pass before the door bangs open, cheryl letting out a sigh of relief as toni comes out, her face full of makeup and her neck also covered with makeup to hide the hickies spattered across her skin. cheryl can see she’s still wearing cheryl’s denim shorts, but she’s wearing a grey crop top and her serpent jacket now, a bandana in her hair as pink curls cascade over her shoulders. she makes her way over to cheryl with a grin, her bag over her shoulder as she gets back into the passenger seat. cheryl catches a whiff of cheap perfume as toni rests her bag in the foothold and fishes through it for something. 

 

“here, something to keep you thinking of me tonight.” toni says suddenly with a grin, and cheryl watches as she pulls out the black lace panties of cheryl’s she put on this morning from her jacket pocket and hands them over to her with a wicked glint in her eyes.

 

“you gonna keep them in your pocket?” toni teases, and cheryl huffs, but places the panties into her purse with shaking hands as she clears her throat and turns the car back on. 

 

“is anyone else home?” cheryl asks as they pull out of the trailer park in an effort to distract herself, and toni shakes her head.

 

“nah, i live there by myself. my grandpa and my uncle stayed with me for a bit to look after me when my mom got put in the slammer, but when grandpa died, my uncle moved to washington…said he needed to get away and that i could look after myself now.” she says with a shrug and a sniff. cheryl frowns, nodding only once. toni had told her this the other day, that her grandfather had passed away a few years back and that she didn’t have any blood relatives left in riverdale, but she still reaches over to give toni’s hand a sympathetic squeeze, the pink haired girl smiling softly at her before her eyes drop down to cheryl’s neck. 

 

“that collar really does look good on you.” she murmurs, reaching over to brush her fingers over it, just skimming the skin of cheryl’s neck, and the red haired girl can’t contain the shiver that runs up her spine, toni smirking cockily as she withdraws her hand with a chuckle. 

 

it wasn’t possible, for her to constantly _want_ toni. it’s something she’s never had before, but now that she’s fucked the pretty little thing beside her, cheryl can’t stop fucking _thinking_ about it. the fact that toni was available emotionally as well, willing to give as much of herself as cheryl did…

 

she just seems so perfect. cheryl’s waiting for the other shoe to drop, because there’s no way she’s able to have something this good without something bad happening. 

 

something bad always happens.

 

“what’s on your mind, bombshell?” toni asks, reaching for her hand on top of the gearshift once again. cheryl simply purses her lips and shakes her head, not wanting to divulge the fact that she’s currently replaying the memories of toni’s loud moans in her mind from this morning as she tries to focus instead on the road in front of her.

 

she really hates that toni’s a serpent, sometimes, and strangely enough, not because of the societal implications and how much further she’ll fall down the ladder of reputation if anyone found out about them. no, she hates it because it’s getting in the way of toni spending every waking moment with her back flat on cheryl’s mattress while the red haired girl has her way with her. 

 

_stupid hormones…_

 

they pull up to riverdale high not long after, cheryl lighting a cigarette as soon as they’re parked and toni doing the same as she exits cheryl’s car with a flourish. cheryl follows suite, ignoring the stares that they get as people watch a southside serpent exit cheryl blossom’s car.

 

_i don’t care, i don’t care, i don’t care-_

 

“tiny! thank fuck, where have you been?!” cheryl turns at the sound of loud boots clomping onto concrete to see sweet pea and fangs coming to a stop in front of toni, looking extremely concerned for the pink haired girl as she grins and simply shrugs at them.

 

“nowhere and everywhere. i’m fine, cops didn’t catch me.” 

 

“you were on foot, how the fuck didn’t they?” fangs says with a grunt, grinning all the same as cheryl makes her way over to them with a loud sigh to bring their attention to her.

 

“she came to mine for refuge and i gave it to her. you’re welcome.” she deadpans, biting back a smile when toni grins widely at her. sweet pea raises an eyebrow at her, looking her up and down, and cheryl thinks his eyes wander on the collar around her throat for a bit longer than usual before he simply looks to toni and crosses his arms over his chest.

 

“you could’ve at least told us you were safe.” he says firmly. 

 

“i did! i sent you a text!” sweet pea scoffs and pulls off the cigarette behind his ear before placing it between his lips.

 

“you sent an emoji of nails getting painted.”

 

“yeah, as in ‘made it, no big deal, it was easy'.” toni says with a shrug. cheryl bites down on her cheek, but can’t help the snort of laughter that escapes her as sweet pea rolls his eyes and lights his cigarette and fangs laughs loudly. toni simply takes a drag from her cigarette, cheryl watching in a trance as plump, pink lips caress the filter and pinched cheeks suck in the toxic fumes, and she swallows thickly, her skin brushing the lambskin of the collar. she presses her nails into the denim of her jeans before she simply reaches up to brush her fingers over the collar around her throat.

 

fangs and sweet pea, of course, don’t notice.

 

toni does.

 

she smirks, cocking an eyebrow at the red head before she takes a careful drag of her cigarette with her eyes never wavering from cheryl’s, and cheryl tries her best not to avert her gaze, but the sound of her name has her spinning around quickly.

 

“cheryl?” veronica lodge looks at her in complete shock, and cheryl sees her looking between cheryl and the serpents she’s standing with in confusion, perhaps wondering what her friend was doing hanging out with a bunch of delinquent gang members.

 

“yes?” cheryl calls out innocently, and veronica hesitates before she waves cheryl over. the red haired girl sighs and simply gives toni a roll of her eyes before she makes her way over to the raven haired girl. she can practically feel toni’s eyes on her, and cheryl scratches absentmindedly at the bruise on her pulse point before she comes to a stop in front of veronica.

 

“did that pink haired girl seriously just get out of _your_ car?” veronica hisses, looking back at the three serpent members sheepishly as if she truly thinks they won’t know she’s talking about them. she really must think these serpents are idiotic…

 

“yes, and?” cheryl says, picking nonchalantly at a spot on her jeans as veronica scoffs in disbelief and shakes her head, and cheryl sees her eyes pause on the collar around her throat, her heart clenching before veronica simply continues speaking.

 

“i…since when are you friendly with the serpents? you all but ignored them the first day they arrived and refused to give them a tour of the place.” veronica says with a nervous laugh. cheryl simply shrugs.

 

“her bike broke down on the side of the road and i decided to give her a ride, it’s not a big deal, veronica.” cheryl lies easily, automatically, years of reiterating lies making it easy for such a simple one to flow off her tongue like liquid. 

 

veronica simply frowns, and cheryl takes a drag from her cigarette, grinning when veronica coughs pointedly and gives her a sharp glare.

 

“you owe me ten bucks by the way, i paid for your meal after you left pop’s on sunday.” veronica grunts out. cheryl cocks an eyebrow.

 

veronica has barely spoken a word to her since sunday, and now she’s telling her? of course, because now cheryl was doing something scandalous, hanging out with southside serpents and giving veronica something to chastise her for…she was doing something worth noticing.

 

“that was almost a week ago, ronnie. should’ve told me sooner, i already spent all my allowance.” she says sarcastically, and before veronica can say another word, she makes her way back over to the serpents, grinning widely as toni jumps up onto the window of the impala with her cigarette caught between her lips. 

 

the rest of the morning passes by boringly, cheryl less than pleased that she has to wait until english class last period to see toni, but it turns out, she doesn’t exactly have to wait that long.

 

she walks into the cafeteria as soon as the lunch bell rings, simply picking up an apple and juice box for lunch, and she looks up fleetingly to meet the eyes of none other than toni topaz, the pink haired serpent’s gaze boring into her own from across the room where she’s sitting with the serpents, a smirk lighting up her features as cheryl simply touches her collar and bites down on her bottom lip to stop herself from smiling. she sits down with veronica, kevin, reggie, archie and josie, and kevin laughs and stares at her with wide eyes before he shakes his head.

 

"wow, that bruise on your neck looks pretty nasty, cheryl. who's the lucky guy?" kevin asks with a grin. cheryl's palms immediately begin to sweat, her hands flying up to brush over the bruise on her pulse point, the one she couldn't cover up with makeup no matter how hard she tried as she realizes that's probably what veronica and sweet pea were staring at this morning. relief sweeps through her knowing the collar isn't grabbing anyone's attention, and she simply shrugs and settles down in her seat before grabbing her apple off the tray. 

 

"there is no lucky guy, dear kevin, it was an accident." she says simply, her eyes moving back over to toni, who is still watching her with a smirk on her face. of course, that's the end of the conversation, no one caring enough to get more out of her, and she's happy about it for the first time in a long time, because it gives her the opportunity to flirt with toni from across the fucking cateferia inconspiciously as she bites into the apple and wipes away the juice that spills from the corner of her mouth with a smirk.

 

toni bites down on her bottom lip as well before she’s reaching into her pocket and pulling out her phone, texting away madly before her gaze moves up to meet cheryl’s once again. cheryl feels her phone buzz in her pocket, and she bites back a grin and unlocks it discreetly away from prying eyes.

 

**toni topaz [10:54]**   
_how do you make eating an apple look so good, bombshell?_

 

cheryl licks her lips, her heart pounding in her ears before she decides she might as well get some enjoyment out of this. she purposefully takes another bite without looking at toni, and her phone buzzes in her lap a second later.

 

**toni topaz [10:54]**   
_oof, getting the silent treatment, huh?_

 

cheryl grins despite herself, pretends to focus on kevin, who’s chatting away about _something_ , and about another minute passes before her phone buzzes yet again.

 

**toni topaz [10:56]**   
_don’t forget who put that collar on you._

 

cheryl inhales sharply, catching the attention of josie, who looks at her with a frown.

 

“you okay, girl?” she asks, and cheryl simply purses her lips and nods before she looks in toni’s direction.

 

the pink haired serpent simply winks at her before she’s grabbing sweet pea’s apple off his tray and taking a bite out of it with a smirk, ignoring his loud grunt of protest.

 

god, cheryl _hates_ her.

 

**you [10:57]**   
_girls bathroom, two minutes._

 

cheryl clears her throat and is about to excuse herself when her phone buzzes again.

 

**toni topaz [10:57]**   
_nah, don’t feel like it._

 

cheryl glares up at her, a slight growl escaping her, and toni grins widely before she’s simply nodding once, jumping up off the cafeteria table as she does. cheryl mutters to the others where she’s going before she scurries out of the cafeteria, rushing straight for the girls bathroom, and she can hear toni following behind her a few feet away as she pushes the door open and lets out a moan of relief when she finds it empty. she quickly checks the stalls just in case, and by the time she’s done, she hears the door open again.

 

toni barely makes it through before cheryl’s tugging her through the door, pushing her up against the tiled walls and crashing her lips against toni’s hungrily, and the pink haired serpent moans against her before she hooks a finger into the collar and tugs it slightly, the lambskin chaffing against cheryl’s neck and causing her to whimper in delight as her body throbs with need.

 

“how…are we supposed to last until tomorrow?” cheryl breathes, trailing her lips down to toni’s neck and sucking the skin between her teeth harshly, and toni lets out a high pitched whine, tugging on the collar again and causing cheryl to collapse against her with a throaty groan as her hands press against the wall on either side of toni’s head to keep herself upright. 

 

“honestly? don’t know.” toni pants into her ear, and cheryl brushes her nose up past the space beneath her ear to her jawline, thankful that she didn’t wear her red lipstick today when toni’s hands move down to grab a handful of her ass. 

 

“but i’ve got big plans for when we meet again…something else to think about, bombshell.” toni whispers into her ear. cheryl licks her lips and is about to press them against toni’s once more before the bell suddenly rings loudly above them. toni lets out a sigh of frustration before she sinks back into the wall and looks at cheryl regretfully, still panting for breath before she grips cheryl’s waist and tugs her forward to place a fleeting kiss to her lips.

 

“to be continued tomorrow, cher-bear. try not to miss me too much.” she whispers with a grin, brushing her thumb underneath cheryl’s bottom lip before she’s throwing the door open and exiting, leaving cheryl in a complete and utter state of despair and lust.

 

_that girl is gonna be the death of me._

 

\---------

 

“god, _toni…_ ”

 

cheryl exhales shakily, biting back a moan and arching her back off the bed as toni presses a kiss between her breasts and hums softly against her skin.

 

“i’m guessing i can add this to the list of things you like, huh, bombshell?” she breathes, and cheryl lets out a shaky laugh and bites down on her bottom lip before nodding, closing her eyes and sinking her head back onto the pillows as toni continues sliding the piece of ice between her fingers under the line of cheryl’s panties.

 

tomorrow had turned into sunday, toni busy with a serpent meeting and work all of saturday to be able to come over, and cheryl’s been nothing but a frustrated, horny mess the entire goddamn weekend. it didn’t help that toni told her not to touch the collar until she saw her again from the second cheryl got home after school on friday afternoon, and not even getting herself off has helped at all to relieve her frustrations.

 

nothing fucking compares to the pink haired serpent anymore for her. 

 

it’s late, and she knows she’s going to regret it when she wakes up tomorrow morning and goes to school unrested and tired, but toni hadn’t gotten back from her shift until eleven, and cheryl refused to go another day without the pink haired serpent _here_ , texting her to come regardless of the time and almost crowing in victory when toni sent her three simple letters telling her she was on her way.

 

clearly she’s not the only one willing to risk no sleep for _this._

 

toni slides the ice cube further down across her hipbones, the cold brushing across cheryl’s heated skin delectably as she lets out a breathy sigh and pulls toni up to her lips with a whimper. toni smiles against her, tongue sliding languidly against cheryl’s before she moves the ice cube up over her stomach, cheryl shivering from the cold water that leaves a trail behind on her skin. toni glances down before she swirls the ice cube around cheryl’s nipple, causing the girl’s back to arch off the bed again with a high pitched cry of pleasure.

 

toni’s only been teasing her with that fucking ice cube for about a two minutes now and it was already driving cheryl crazy-

 

her lips immediately move down to close around cheryl’s nipple, and god, her warm lips make goosebumps immediately rise all over cheryl’s skin, her teeth gnawing on her bottom lip with a soft moan before toni’s teeth tug on the hardened bud. a warm tongue slides over her, causing her to shiver as toni licks away the water surrounding her breast.

 

“wh-what’s the lesson l-learned with this one?” cheryl manages to stutter out, and toni pulls away from her nipple with a loud pop as she laughs and brings the ice cube to her own plump lips, a smile playing on them before she removes it and leans down to press a kiss to cheryl’s neck, the red head shuddering from the freezing temperature of her lips against her skin.

 

“no lesson, i just wanted to try it out.” she says with a shrug before biting down on her neck gently. cheryl lets out a breathless laugh, and toni grins up at her before she pops the ice cube into her mouth and leans down to cover her other breast with it, the mixture of her hot tongue and the freezing temperature of the ice causing cheryl to sink back against the pillow with a shaky sigh of content. she curls a hand around the back of toni’s neck, scratching at the skin while simultaneously holding her in place as toni continues to swirl her tongue and the ice cube around cheryl’s nipple, and with a quick nip of her teeth, she pulls away and makes a soft sigh of displeasure.

 

“ice cube melted. lucky i got a whole bowl.” she grins, teeth crunching down on what’s left of the ice cube before she reaches for said bowl on the bedside table to grab another one. 

 

“and how long do you plan on teasing me for?” cheryl breathes, licking her lips as toni grins and shrugs.

 

“as long as i want. open up.” cheryl bites back a sigh of frustration and does as she’s told, opening her mouth and resting her tongue on her bottom lip as toni pops the ice cube between her swollen lips. she straddles the red head, knees resting on either side of her body and hands moving up and down her sides as cheryl swirls the ice cube around in her mouth with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. 

 

toni giggles, watching her with her bottom lip caught between her teeth before she taps cheryl’s chin to get her to open her mouth, which she does. she rests the ice cube between her teeth, and toni winks at her before she bends down to take it between her own teeth, pulling back and taking it out of her mouth with her fingers before she presses a quick kiss to cheryl’s cold lips. 

 

“you know, you never told me what veronica said on friday morning.” toni murmurs, trailing the ice cube down her neck and following the trail of water with her tongue as she moves between the valley of her breasts to her stomach once more. cheryl licks her lips and runs her fingers through toni’s hair as the pink haired serpent settles between her legs on her stomach, free hand gripping her hips as the other begins moving the ice cube over her panty line once again. 

 

“she was just… _ugh…_ ” cheryl’s hips buck up involuntarily as toni hooks a finger into her underwear to tug them down slowly, her hot breath ghosting over the cold skin of her hips, and cheryl lets out a shaky breath before she continues talking.

 

“she was j-just asking me why i was hanging out with serpents…she barely acknowledges me until i’m doing something that’s worthy of talk and rumors. it’s pathetic, really.” cheryl mumbles, looking down and watching as toni takes off her underwear and settles them down on the bed beside her before she frowns up at her.

 

“why don’t you just stop being friends with her?” she says with a simple shrug, her tongue snaking out to glide over the moisture gathered on cheryl’s hips from the ice cube, licking a clean line over where she was tracing it moments before. cheryl clutches the sheets between her fingers and doesn’t even bother holding back a whimper of pleasure before she shakes her head.

 

“she’s…one of the only friends i h-have.” cheryl manages to gasp out, her hips twitching when toni’s nails scratch down her thighs. toni chuckles, cheryl’s hips twitching again when the action causes hot breath to move over her center, and toni nods at the bowl on the bedside table, cheryl reaching over to grab another ice cube before she hands it to the pink haired girl wordlessly.

 

“she doesn’t seem like much of a friend, bombshell.” toni says with a raised eyebrow, popping the ice cube into her mouth to warm it up just a little before she’s pressing a cold kiss to cheryl’s inner thighs and sliding the ice cube over the heated skin.

 

the reaction is almost immediate, cheryl’s back arching off the bed with a groan at the cold dissipating the complete and utter fire that’s been building between her legs and her thighs from this constant teasing. 

 

“i n-need…to maintain some…semblance of n-normalcy, toni.” cheryl manages to stutter out with a shaky chuckle, eyes fluttering shut, and cheryl hears toni sigh before she’s dragging her tongue over the drops of water on her inner thighs, one arm snaking around her hips to push them back down onto the bed roughly. 

 

“if you say so, bombshell. but i still think you deserve better friends. they treat you like shit, they only talk to you when they want something, they don’t even check up on you.” toni says, her tone a mixture of frustration and genuine sadness, and cheryl props herself up onto her elbows and looks down at toni with a raised eyebrow.

 

“you’re sliding ice across my naked body and you want to talk about my lack of friends?” she says sarcastically. toni rolls her eyes and nips at the skin of her thighs, causing cheryl’s breath to hitch as she winces once.

 

“i’m just saying, cher-bear. you deserve better.” she murmurs, kissing the spot her teeth bit down on tenderly. cheryl smiles softly and rests her hand on top of toni’s one resting on her hipbone. 

 

“i have you, don’t i?” cheryl says almost questioningly, causing toni to look up at her with a frown before she’s moving up between cheryl’s legs to kiss her, lips soft at first before the kiss turns heated, toni using it as leverage to push cheryl back down onto the bed slowly.

 

“you do, cher. but you shouldn’t have only me, that’s what i’m trying to get at. your friends suck, and you should let them know that they suck.” toni murmurs against her lips. cheryl sighs, brushing her nose against toni’s affectionately before she nods once, and toni smiles and gives her another small kiss before she’s placing what’s left of the ice cube between her lips and trailing it down her skin once more. cheryl threads her fingers through toni’s pink hair, and the ice is dissolved by the time toni reaches her center. she grins up at cheryl before she uses her thumbs to spread her, cold tongue dragging insistently up her folds and causing cheryl to shiver and twitch beneath her with a mixture of pleasure and surprise. 

 

her body is a complete and utter confusion of hot and cold and it’s driving her crazy, and fuck, toni’s eating her out like her life depends on it, tongue moving against her firmly as her hands settle on cheryl’s hips to push her back down into the mattress every time they buck upwards. 

 

toni’s name escapes her lips in an almost catatonic chant before her mouth begins moving up cheryl’s body, licking away any more traces of water left from the ice before she kisses cheryl deeply, the red haired girl moaning at the taste of herself on toni’s tongue. 

 

toni slides two fingers into her easily, cheryl’s fucking _dripping_ at this point, and she isn’t at all gentle with her thrusts, moving roughly into cheryl to the point where the headboard is slamming against the wall rhythmically in time with cheryl’s increasing moans.

 

“f-fuck, toni, i’m c-close-.” cheryl’s back snaps off the bed with a loud whine as toni adds another finger, chuckling into her ear before pressing a kiss to her neck.

 

“already?”

 

“sh-shut up, _god_ , right _there!_ ” toni lets out a hiss of pain in her ear as cheryl’s nails cut up her back, and it only spurs the pink haired serpent to thrust harder, her hips pushing against the back of her hand to drive her fingers deeper until cheryl feels her mind buzz with static, her stomach twisting and her mouth dropping open in a silent scream as every muscle in her body tenses. she can feel herself clenching around toni’s three fingers, and the serpent girl moans into her ear at the feeling as well, her thumb moving up to brush over cheryl’s clit to prolong her pleasure for as long as possible. 

 

cheryl settles back onto the mattress with a heavy pant, completely and utterly spent as toni pushes herself up to hover over her, a smile playing on those beautiful plump lips of hers as they connect with cheryl’s own in a heated kiss.

 

“god, sex with you is never gonna be boring, is it, bombshell?” toni croaks out. cheryl raises an eyebrow at her.

 

“i’m insulted the thought that it ever would be even entered your mind, topaz.” she deadpans. toni laughs and shakes her head, leaning down to press a kiss to her brow before she pulls back and looks down at cheryl, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear affectionately.

 

“i was serious though, cher. you should tell your friends that they’re being rude. they can’t just expect you to be at their beck and call all the time while they ignore you. they should be checking up on you, it’s like they don’t care. and you deserve better than that.” cheryl sighs, a little agitated that this is being brought up again, but she knows toni’s only saying this because she cares, and it’s a hell of a lot more than she can say for her so called friends.

 

“i know, toni…i try to give them subtle hints, but it’s like it falls on deaf ears. i don’t know what else to say…i used to be able to give people a piece of my mind without a single worry of how it would affect them, but now…ever since everything happened with my family, i feel like i’ve lost my voice.” cheryl says, swallowing thickly and grabbing toni’s hand to distract herself, interlacing their fingers and gazing at the contrast between alabaster and caramel before toni settles down on her hips and grips her face between the fingers of her free hand. 

 

“don’t settle for that kind of treatment. you’re worth more than that. get your fucking voice back, cher.” toni says firmly. cheryl blinks back her tears, smiling up at toni before she cradles the pink haired serpent’s face in her hands pulls her down for a gentle kiss. 

 

she knows toni is right, she should tell josie and veronica and betty how she feels, but fuck, it’s _hard._ they were still at the top of the ladder, and they only continued to hang out with cheryl out of loyalty, but it’s like each day that passes, they’re finding more and more reasons to dump her, and cheryl’s terrified to give them another reason to leave her on her ass.

 

but she isn’t being treated well, she knows that. and she should tell her friends that…

 

toni pulls away and settles down against her chest, cheryl’s arms wrapping around the girl as she brushes her fingers through pink hair. her body is still stuck in this state of cold and hot, and toni sighs and drops a kiss to her collarbone before she looks up at cheryl sheepishly.

 

“can i admit something to you?” she says shyly. cheryl raises an eyebrow at the way toni’s cheeks flush, but nods nonetheless as toni begins fiddling with the ends of cheryl’s hair, almost like she’s embarrassed to say what she’s about to say.

 

“the collar…seeing you wear it today…it was pretty hot, bombshell. i didn’t think i’d be into it but i totally am.” she mumbles, avoiding cheryl’s eyes as the red haired girl bites down on her bottom lip to stop herself from smiling.

 

“really?” toni smiles and leans up to press a kiss to her jawline.

 

“yeah…but i don’t want that to take away what it means to you.” she murmurs against her skin, causing cheryl to frown as she shakes her head.

 

“it doesn’t have to, toni. it can mean more than one thing for us…”

 

“i know…just don’t lose sight of the control and freedom it gives you. every time you wear it, it’s like i can see the weight on your shoulders lifting. i mean, it might be kinky as fuck, and okay, i’ll admit, i’m kind of into it, but still…it’s more than that for you and it should stay that way.” toni says firmly, cradling cheryl’s cheek in her hand to force her gaze down until their eyes meet. cheryl licks her lips before she simply nods once, and toni pushes herself back up and rests her forehead against cheryl’s before she kisses her deeply, fingers brushing up and down her sides once more.

 

cheryl loses herself a little in the kiss, her neck itching for the collar that’s resting in the box beneath her bed when toni suddenly pulls away from the kiss with a loud yawn. cheryl chuckles, her thoughts of her friends and the collar and everything they’ve just discussed erased as she smiles up at the girl hovering above her.

 

“tired?” cheryl murmurs, running her fingers up and down toni’s back as the pink haired girl kisses her neck and hums against her skin.

 

“yeah…it’s been a long weekend.” 

 

“mmm, how about we take care of you first and then we can sleep?” cheryl whispers, grinning up at her as toni chuckles and glances over at the bowl of ice cubes with a raised eyebrow.

 

“you gonna return the favor?” she teases, leaning down to nip at cheryl’s neck playfully, and cheryl simply grins widely and slaps her palm over toni’s backside, causing the girl’s hips to buck as she giggles against cheryl’s neck.

 

“oh, you have no idea, toni topaz…”


	9. she has a name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uh, here's an 18K chapter that's half smut, half plot lol, i could've split this into two chapters easily, but like, i haven't updated this in a while and i feel bad so here, have two chapters in one :D
> 
> if you don't already know, i have a twitter. you can follow me at @endofdaysforme to get updates on when my fics and just general crying over choni!
> 
> we gonna get fed on wednesday ladies, big choni stuff happening, my brain is gonna fry tbh
> 
> if there's spelling mistakes, i'm sorry, i spent all night writing this so i'm like half awake rn lol
> 
> anyway, leave comments letting me know what you think!

“now, from what we can gather, the true meaning behind _‘romeo and juliet’_ is what, exactly?” 

 

cheryl scratches absentmindedly at her neck, itching the skin beneath her collar as the blistering heatwave currently invading riverdale has sweat dripping down her skin in trailing beads. 

 

“anyone?”

 

cheryl can feel toni’s eyes on her, and she glances at her from her periphery vision, sees the smirk on her face as she watches cheryl struggle with the heat, her own hair up in a loose ponytail that cheryl has the maddest desire to grab and tug on, preferably with toni’s face between her legs.

 

it’s been over a month now of just… _this._ cheryl and toni spending every single moment at school dancing around…whatever it is they have, and cheryl spending every single moment getting sexually frustrated the longer she spent pretending not to know toni at school. granted, the whole month hasn’t just been them having sex, there’s been plenty of days where toni has simply come over after school to talk with cheryl about how she was feeling and vice versa, and those days were _good._ cheryl’s pretty sure her mind has never felt more clear before in her life. toni’s been helping her move past the trauma of what happened with jason and her father, and cheryl’s slowly but surely beginning to peel back more layers of the pink haired serpent, helping her in return to move past her father’s demise and her mother’s tragic accident. she’s learning more and more about toni, and the more she learns, the more she finds herself craving her company, to the point where all of _this_ , pretending like they barely know each other at school…it’s driving her fucking insane.

 

as much as toni’s her friend, her confidant, and someone she can rely on, the casual sex they’re having, it’s fucking _incredible_ , and cheryl doesn’t understand why she can’t seem to get enough. on those days where they do end up in bed together, toni usually sleeps over, and cheryl wakes up every morning still wanting _more._ her whole body is still throbbing with pain from last night, toni continuing for fucking _hours_ until cheryl could barely breathe anymore, tapping out after her fifth orgasm, but she still finds herself wanting to grab toni and pin her down to that fucking desk she’s sitting at so she can bury her own face between toni’s legs.

 

she’s just so…fucking _insatiable._ this thing between them was so much more than just casual sex and a shoulder to cry on, the connection between them is undeniable and something that cheryl wants nothing more than to spend every second basking in. but she can’t. 

 

she can’t, and she doesn’t even know _why_ she can’t.

 

she squeezes her thighs together and bites back a moan as she fans herself with one hand. she can’t put her hair up, the buckle of the collar will show, and _god,_ this heatwave is unbearable-

 

“miss blossom? how about you?” miss hathaway asks, cheryl’s attention snapping forward to stare at the woman before her who is fanning herself with the papers in her hands. cheryl bites down on a bright red bottom lip before she clears her throat and bows her head.

 

“love conquers all, miss hathaway.” she says firmly. miss hathaway frowns before she waves her hand as if to indicate for cheryl to say more, and cheryl finds herself throwing another very, very quick glance at toni before she licks her lips and shrugs.

 

“and fuck society and family for trying to get in the way of it.” she says airily. the class breaks out into stifled giggles as miss hathaway rolls her eyes and sighs.

 

“i don’t approve of the language, but…you have a point. yes, you see, the true meaning behind the ill-fated love story…” cheryl tunes out, no longer captivated by the shakespearian love story of the montagues and capulets as her eyes land instead on toni’s left forearm, on the faded black ink of a wolf that rests on her wrist, veins sticking out clear as day beneath the ink on top of it. 

 

cheryl finds herself flashing back to last night, when her and toni had been curled up in her bed, naked and covered in sweat from the blistering heatwave and one _hell_ of a night spent fucking each other as toni ran her fingers through cheryl’s sweat soaked hair while the red haired girl brushed her fingers over the tattoo in wonder.

 

_“why a wolf?”_

 

_“it’s my spirit animal. i’m half native american. dad’s side…our people believe in spirit animals that act as a guide for us, to help us through the journey of life. when i was young, i was walking through fox forest and i came across a wolf. i was scared shitless, but it didn’t attack me. it just…stared at me. when i ran back home and told my grandpa, he told me it must’ve been my spirit animal. every day since that day, without fail, i come across something to do with a wolf. whether it’s my necklace, or watching something on tv…there’s just always one there. that’s how i knew he was right. when he died, i felt a little lost, and i decided to get a tattoo of it…so it’s always with me, guiding me through life.”_

 

cheryl remembers how toni’s voice had been shaking when she talked about it, and she hadn’t been able to stop herself from kissing toni fiercely, whispering against her skin how beautiful she thought it was, how beautiful she thought _toni_ was…

 

cheryl lets out a shaky breath and grips the table as she slowly moves her gaze off of toni’s forearm, trying desperately to focus on miss hathaway talking, but all hope is lost when toni notices her averting her gaze and clears her throat beside her. cheryl finds herself turning to look at her with a raised eyebrow, willing her racing heart to just slow down a little, but at the sight before her, it’s just fucking useless.

 

_oh god, how can she look so hot even when she’s sweating, it’s not fair-_

 

toni meets her eyes and sinks back into her seat, her black crop top riding up even higher and exposing more of her caramel skin, cheryl’s eyes landing on the bruise on her ribs _she_ put there with her teeth last night. a shiver runs up her spine, and toni doesn’t avert her gaze, a smirk on her face as she licks her lips purposefully before she lifts a hand and brushes her fingers over her swollen, plump lips that are curled up into a smile-

 

the bell rings loudly, and cheryl swallows the lump in her throat before she starts packing up her books, barely hearing miss hathaway remind them of the report that’s due next week on _‘romeo and juliet’._ toni does the same, but stands before cheryl does, grabbing her serpent jacket and slinging it over her arm before she grabs her bag and walks past her. she reaches out and brushes her fingers over cheryl’s forearm, goosebumps immediately exploding over the redhead’s skin at her touch. she throws a glance at cheryl over her shoulder with a grin and a wink before she exits the classroom, and cheryl’s ten fucking seconds away from grabbing her and shoving her into the nearest empty bathroom when she feels a weight tap her shoulder.

 

“vixen practice! you ready, cheryl?” veronica’s voice chirps in her ear. cheryl bites down on her bottom lip, pretty much curses her friend’s existence, but simply nods before she stands up, smiling at the raven haired girl tightly as they both walk out of the classroom. the sooner this is done, the sooner she and toni can go home-

 

“ugh, this pep rally tomorrow is gonna kill us, i can feel it. at least we’ve been practicing hard…no thanks to you, miss hbic.” veronica says, nudging her hip against cheryl’s with a grin. cheryl simply nods once with a smile and a shrug.

 

“i’m sure we’ll be fine. you’ve all been doing amazing.” she says absentmindedly, her mind still on toni’s lips and the way she was _fucking_ teasing cheryl just moments before…

 

but she must’ve said something wrong, because veronica’s mouth drops open and she stops dead in her tracks, looking at cheryl as if she’s grown a second head or something.

 

“is the miss cheryl blossom actually _complimenting_ her fellow river vixens?” she says in fake shock, grinning when cheryl rolls her eyes with a slight huff of frustration.

 

they all really only saw her as nothing but a bitch, didn’t they? her own goddamn friends…

 

“i’m capable of praise where it’s deserved. now come, we only have the gym for an hour.” cheryl grumbles, gripping her wrist and tugging veronica forward impatiently. she just wants to get this done so she can go back to thistlehouse with toni, she has to be at the bar by six-

 

“an hour? why?” veronica asks in confusion.

 

“i have somewhere to be.” cheryl simply says stiffly, and right on cue, her phone buzzes in her pocket. she lets go of veronica to pull it out and once she lights it up, she chances a brief glance at the message sent from toni before she locks the screen once more to hide it from veronica.

 

**toni topaz [15:07]**  
_let me know when you’re done, i’m just gonna be in the library getting started on this report. can’t wait to see you in those booty shorts again. <3_

 

cheryl sinks her teeth into her bottom lip to hide her smile, remembering the look of complete and utter awe on toni’s face when cheryl had exited the gym and met her at her car one afternoon still wearing her vixens practice uniform as she picks up the speed and dashes into the locker room, more than ready to get into her uniform and get this over with.

 

as soon as she walks in, she heads straight for her locker, smiling fondly at the bold hbic letters prints on the yellow metal in blue as josie, betty and veronica fall into line at their lockers on either side of her. she’s in the process of changing, the other vixens also doing so, when her phone buzzes in her locker, cheryl’s eyes skimming over the screen with a wide grin. 

 

**toni topaz [15:15]**  
_i’ve concluded that romeo and juliet suck ass and so does their love story. i’m about to write a thousand words on it. hope miss hathaway doesn’t flunk me for it._

 

cheryl rolls her eyes and is about to grab her phone to respond when josie suddenly chuckles loudly and draws her attention instead.

 

“i saw that serpent girl with the pink hair heading to the library on my way here. it’s so weird, you’d think none of them even care about school or any of this stuff.” josie says in disbelief. cheryl clenches her jaw at the mention of toni, but keeps her eyes firmly locked on her phone before veronica suddenly laughs to the left of her, shaking her head as she quickly strips out of her shirt. 

 

“she’s probably just hooking up with some guy in the back row of bookcases like everybody else does.” she says with a roll of her eyes. 

 

_don’t, cheryl, do not lose your cool right now-_

 

was it so impossible that toni simply wanted to do her homework? cheryl knows the girl’s not fond of school or the piles of homework and assessments they get, sure, but toni took it all very seriously. she had spoken to cheryl in length about it…she _wanted_ to graduate high school and get her diploma, _wanted_ to do something more than just being a southside serpent, why was that such a crazy thing for them to think?

 

cheryl’s very, _very_ angry retort is on the tip of her tongue when her phone goes off again and effectively silences her.

 

**toni topaz [15:17]**  
_ugh, i’m bored already, save me bombshell._

 

“you think? she’s always hanging out with those two other serpent boys, maybe they’re in like a weird, three way relationship-.” josie starts, and cheryl’s scoffing as she rips her shirt off and quickly tugs on her hbic one so no one catches the bruises on her skin left by toni’s lips and teeth. she crosses her arms over her chest, glaring up at josie angrily. this whole conversation is pissing her off and she’s done hearing them talk about toni as if they know a single _goddamn_ thing about her.

 

“those guys are like brothers to her, josie, get real.” she blurts out with a roll of her eyes. josie, in the middle of taking her shirt off, blinks in shock and lets go of the hem of her shirt before she raises an eyebrow at cheryl questioningly.

 

“and how would you know that?” she asks with a slight smirk, her face filled with wonder more than anything, and cheryl licks her lips, feels her phone vibrating in her locker before it chimes loudly as she simply shrugs and ignores it for now.

 

“i hang out with them sometimes when i have a cigarette. maybe she’s just in the library to, you know, _study_? last i checked, that’s what the library is there for.” cheryl reiterates sarcastically before she’s pulling off her skirt and letting it pool at her feet before she’s once again quickly stepping into the shorts to hide the bruises on her inner thighs. she really needs to talk to toni about the bruises she leaves on her skin, but the pink haired girl gets carried away, and it’s not like cheryl feels inclined to tell her to stop, especially when it feels so goddamn good in the moment…

 

veronica and josie are silent, and cheryl bites back a smug grin as she lights her phone up to look at the new message from toni, wishing she could go to the library and just _be with her_ instead of having to lead a vixen practice right now. sometimes being hbic is such a fucking drag…as much as she loves it for how it’s distracted her and given her a purpose despite all the horrible shit that’s happened, it’s a fucking inconvenience in this moment.

 

**toni topaz [15:20]**  
_i can’t wait till tomorrow night, i bet you look so fucking hot in that cheerleading uniform…ugh, how have i not seen you in it yet?_

 

oh, cheryl has plans for tomorrow night with that vixen uniform now, that’s for goddamn sure-

 

“still, i’m surprised you know that, cheryl. even jughead barely gets a peep out of those three some days.” betty pipes up suddenly, drawing everyone’s attention as she looks at cheryl in confusion, and the red haired girl feels her heart begin to pound in her ears loudly, the room suddenly get a little hotter than it already is as betty, veronica and josie look at her in surprise and patiently wait for her response. she wets her lips and glances down at her phone as it goes off once again.

 

**toni topaz [15:22]**  
_fuck, bombshell, i know your shaking your pom poms right now, but i miss you! is my torture over yet?_

 

she feels veronica lean forward closer to her as if to glance at her phone over her shoulder, her hot breath skating over the bare skin of cheryl’s arm and causing a shiver to explode up her spine, and cheryl quickly locks her phone and spins around to glare at her, teeth bared and anger flooding her.

 

“invasion of privacy much, veronica?!” she growls, digging her nails into her bicep as she crosses her arms over her chest once more to stop herself from pushing veronica back. the girl raises an eyebrow at her before lifting her arms up with a scoff and a shrug.

 

“whoa, relax, i’m just wondering who’s messaging you all the time-.”

 

“it’s none of your business, so stop wondering!” cheryl snaps, her neck itching beneath her collar as she swallows down her anger and turns back to her locker, gathering her clothes on the ground and shoving them into the locker hastily.

 

“why are you so defensive, jeez! is it because we said something about that serpent girl-.” josie starts, and at those two fucking words, cheryl loses control. despite the collar wrapped around her goddamn throat right now, despite all the control it’s given her in the last month, the heat surrounding her and the general anger from this conversation causes her to lose it. 

 

“she has a name, for god’s sake! it’s _toni!_ not ‘serpent girl’!” cheryl hisses, glaring at josie with the rage of a thousand suns as the pussycat looks at her in complete and utter shock.

 

_dial it in, cheryl, for christ’s sake-_

 

“you know, you’ve been hanging around ‘toni’ a lot, actually, cheryl.” veronica says suddenly, frowning as she crosses her arms over her chest and stares at cheryl, who, overtime has steadily found herself gazing at her fellow vixens less and less the more time she spends with toni, doesn’t even glance at veronica’s black lace bra or the sweat glistening on her chest as she instead tries to fight away the nerves and anger that are building inside her chest for a different reason other than lust for her fellow vixens right now.

 

“your point being, veronica?” she says stiffly, somehow able to keep her voice from shaking despite how scared she is at being found out right now. she doesn’t want them to know about her and toni, not yet, they were going to ruin _everything,_ but she can’t stand them talking about that girl as if she’s nothing more than the jacket she wears. she was the most amazing, most _beautiful_ person cheryl’s ever met-

 

“no point, cheryl. just that…look, and don’t take this the wrong way, but…hasn’t your family been through enough? you shouldn’t be seen hanging around with people from a gang, cheryl, it’s just gonna sink your reputation lower, and i know you don’t want that.” veronica says firmly, but not unkindly, as if she’s doing cheryl a favor by saying these words, the smile on her face as she says them certainly indicating so.

 

cheryl feels her heart sink to somewhere down below the ground, each word hitting her harder than the heat making her skin itch right now, and the effort it’s taking not to unclench her hands and slap veronica right across that prim and proper face of hers right now…

 

_“don’t settle for that kind of treatment. you’re worth more than that. get your fucking voice back, cher.”_

 

those words from a month ago echo in her mind, the way toni had told her to take charge, to tell her so called friends how she felt, and before cheryl can even really process what she’s saying, it’s just escaping her mouth like verbal vomit, uncontained and uncensored after almost an entire _year_ of pent up aggression.

 

“let me ask _you_ something, veronica. when’s the last time you checked up on me? asked me how i’m doing? asked me how i’m holding up, if i’m okay, if there’s something on my mind? anything like that? when’s the last time you _actually_ gave a shit about me?” cheryl says in a low voice that is surprisingly calm despite the anger and hurt currently flooding her, nails digging into her palms to stop herself from striking the girl before her. veronica blinks rapidly, eyes filled with shock before she simply scoffs in disbelief.

 

“i…well, cheryl-.”

 

“you can’t even remember, can you? because toni checks up on me. every single _fucking_ day. she asks me how i’m handling things, if i’m okay, if i need a shoulder to cry on, and she wasn’t even _here_ when i was going through it. she didn’t see me break down five times a day in every single class, she didn’t see me throwing up in the girls bathroom from the _fucking_ anxiety and fear i felt every single day since jason went missing. but _you_ did.” cheryl steps closer to the raven haired girl, her whole body trembling with adrenaline and anger, and veronica steps back, fear briefly flashing in her eyes before she huffs and tosses her hair over her shoulder, standing her ground as she glares at cheryl in surprise more than anything.

 

“yeah, i did see it! and i was the one who hugged you and calmed you down every single time, cheryl! josie did too! and betty! so why are you acting like we’re the world’s worst friends-.”

 

“because i had one good day and suddenly, you all thought i was fine! you all thought i was just magically okay after that?! that now that i’m not breaking down every second of every day anymore, i’m just fine and there’s nothing wrong with me!? that everything i’ve been through doesn’t still sit inside my heart and crush my chest to the point where i can’t breathe? because it does, veronica! don’t sit there and act like you’re holier than thou when you know, deep down, you don’t give a shit about me unless i’ve got some scandal going on that you can thrive off of!” cheryl screams, her skin only growing hotter with each passing second as she hears josie and betty gasp behind her. the whole locker room is quiet, the other river vixens now watching this showdown before them in confusion and surprise, and veronica’s expression turns stony for a brief moment, actual tears shining in her eyes as she blinks them away and shakes her head.

 

“that’s not true, cheryl, and you know it. you’re one of my best friends-.” cheryl interrupts her with a derisive laugh as tears quickly begin to well in her eyes.

 

“that’s news to me, because it doesn’t _feel_ like it! you think i didn’t notice how _tired_ you got of taking care of me? every single day you told me to just go see a therapist so you could wash me clean of your hands, even though you _know_ i couldn’t just walk into a room and tell a stranger all my goddamn secrets! you _don’t_ care, veronica! you probably never have!” cheryl finds herself choking on those last words, her chest heaving and hot tears spilling down her face, and veronica’s bottom lip is trembling as she holds back her tears, but cheryl doesn’t miss the anger in her eyes either as she sniffs and holds her head high, speaking before veronica can get a word in, willing herself to calm down as she speaks her next words with nothing but sincerity. 

 

“but toni? that girl is not just the southside scum you see her as. she’s so much more than that fucking jacket she wears, veronica, so much fucking more…she’s this kind, beautiful, thoughtful girl who doesn’t use a tragic past as an excuse to be a horrible person like we do. and she’s more of a friend to me than you ever have been or ever will be.” cheryl hates how her voice shakes, hates that she’s actually sad about this entire fucking situation because veronica and josie and god, even betty, don’t deserve an ounce of her sadness or sympathy, but she’s sure the message gets across.

 

she’s sure because veronica looks genuinely hurt, the guilt in her eyes overweighing the anger, and when cheryl wipes away her tears and turns to look at josie and betty, the both of them have their heads bowed, eyes filled with a similar guilt. cheryl sniffs and grabs her shoes and phone before slamming the locker door shut and sitting down on the bench and to begin slipping her sneakers on.

 

her whole body is flooded with adrenaline, shaking with anger and sadness and grief and a million other emotions and her mind spinning at a million miles an hour. 

 

her phone buzzes on the bench beside her, and cheryl feels the tears still in her eyes spill down her cheeks as she reads the message with slightly blurred vision.

 

**toni topaz [15: 27]**  
_sorry, i’m probably being super distracting right now, i’ll stop. can’t wait to see you. xo_

 

cheryl stares at the message for a long time, her hair covering the screen from view and her foot halfway inside her sneakers as she pauses and simply stares, reading those words over and over again as the other vixens slowly begin to get back to what they were doing before, changing into their uniforms and murmuring under their breaths about what just happened.

 

fuck this. she’s not doing this bullshit, not right now, why the fuck would she spend her time with these girls when she could be spending it with toni, someone who made her _happy_ -

 

“vixen practice is cancelled. you have veronica to thank for that. blame her when you’re all bumbling around the racetrack tomorrow during the pep rally.” cheryl hisses out, looking up at the other vixens, who stare at her in shock, some of them even gasping in it. cheryl wipes away the remainder of her tears, and before anyone can say anything, she finishes shoving on her sneakers and grabs her bag before heading straight for the door, avoiding looking at veronica, josie and betty as she does. 

 

she throws the door open, inhaling sharply and deeply with a wild, shuddering gasp as she heads straight for the girls bathroom, pulling out her phone and wiping away her tears before she sends a message to toni.

 

**you [15:30]**  
_meet me in the girls bathroom across from the cafeteria, please?_

 

she doesn’t even bother waiting for a reply. she shoves her phone into her bag and picks up the pace, a sob resting deep in her chest as she throws the door to the bathroom open. she heads straight for the sink, quickly turning the cold water tap on and gathering a small pool of the cold liquid into the palm of her hands before she splashes it onto her face. the instant relief it gives pulls a whimper from her throat as she shuts off the tap and gathers her hair up between her wet hands before turning and sitting against the porcelain vanity, letting the ice cold feeling hit the skin of the back of her thighs as she does.

 

she needs toni. she can’t fucking breathe right now, her head is pounding, she can’t even fucking focus-

 

and now she just cancelled vixens practice, too. a day before the goddamn pep rally. she knows there’s nothing to worry about, the girls had the routine down to perfection with how much they’ve been practicing for the last month, but it’s still her duty as captain to make sure they’re okay and she just failed that role completely.

 

but god, for veronica to fucking say _that…_ for her to sit there and talk about cheryl’s reputation as if it even fucking mattered anymore, as if any of it even mattered…for her to say that, cheryl doesn’t understand it.

 

none of that stuff mattered, why couldn’t veronica see that? she gets it, veronica’s been obsessed with reputation ever since her father was imprisoned, has been obsessed with making sure no one saw her father’s sins as her own, and maybe deep down, she believed she was coming from a sincere place of care, not wanting cheryl to descend even further down the social ladder for fear of her fading into obscurity, but fuck, what was so _bad_ about that? toni and the other serpents were at the goddamn bottom of the barrel and they seemed so _goddamn_ happy about it. they didn’t care at all, which is exactly why cheryl enjoys spending so much time with them. 

 

they were what she wanted to be. people who just _lived_ their lives without caring about what anyone else thought about them. as much as the last year has made cheryl stone cold to the whispers and the stares, the fact that remains that they’re still taking about her dead brother and her murderous father. 

 

it still _hurts._ she used to rule this fucking school, had every single person wrapped around her pinky finger, and they all turned on her at the drop of a hat after what happened. it _hurts._

 

and for veronica to only care about that…for her not to just be cheryl’s friend and accept her for who she was and _where_ she was on the social ladder right now…

 

the door bursts open, causing cheryl to jump, and her heart simply _soars_ when she sees nothing but pink hair and black leather. 

 

toni has a grin on her face, perhaps thinking she’s about to walk in on a treat, but when her eyes fall on cheryl, the smile is immediately wiped off her face, her expression falling when she sees the tear marks running down cheryl’s cheeks.

 

“cher? what happened?” she rushes forward, dropping her bag and her serpent jacket on top of it as the door swings shut behind her with panic written all over her face, and as soon as she’s close enough, cheryl grabs by the arm and pulls her forward before wrapping her arms around her neck, pulling her into the space between her legs with a loud sob as she buries her face into toni’s neck and breathes her in.

 

she feels herself immediately beginning to calm down as soon as toni presses a kiss to her ear and begins trailing her hands up and down cheryl’s sides, moving underneath her shirt with gentle against her skin as she whispers softly into her ear.

 

“shh, it’s okay…it’s okay, cher-bear, i’m here…” she coos softly. cheryl whimpers, drawing in harsh breaths of air pushing herself impossibly closer to toni until their bodies are pressed together, and fuck, it’s boiling in this room right now, but she doesn’t _care_ , she just wants toni as close as possible-

 

“shh…” toni’s voice is so gentle in her ear, and cheryl swallows thickly before she pulls away and grips toni’s face in her hands, pulling her in for a kiss to her lips with a desperate whine. toni responds eagerly at first, her full lips sucking gently on cheryl’s bottom one before she grips cheryl’s wrists between her fingers and pulls away to look her deep in the eyes with a frown of concern.

 

“baby, what happened?” she whispers softly, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear affectionately, and god, cheryl’s so thankful that she’s being so goddamn gentle right now, because she’s not sure she’d be able to handle anything else in this moment-

 

“i d-don’t wanna talk about it, toni. please…” cheryl whines, her shaking fingers moving down to brush across the exposed skin of toni’s stomach before she reaches for the button of toni’s black denim shorts almost subconsciously, needing something else to focus on, something that makes her _happy_ -

 

toni bites down on her bottom lip and grabs her wrists to stop her once again, her eyes wide and a very clear battle occurring behind them as they roam all over cheryl’s face.

 

“cher, you’re upset-.”

 

“i know, i know, i just…please, toni? not right now, not right now, please…” cheryl moves a hand beneath her sweat soaked pink hair to grip the back of an equally sweaty neck, pulling toni forward desperately to rest their foreheads against each other. her bottom lip is trembling, she can feel it, and she bites down on it in an attempt to get it to stop before toni reaches up and brushes the pad of her thumb over it gently to get her to release it, her fingers trailing down until she’s touching the collar still around cheryl’s throat.

 

her breath hitches, a soft gasp escaping her and her stomach dropping from such a simple action as she looks up into toni’s brown eyes to see her looking into cheryl’s eyes deeply, trying to read the emotions coming off the red haired girl in her arms right now…

 

“i…”

 

“i know you w-want to ch-check up on me, but right now…fuck, toni, right now, i need a d-distraction, i n-need _you_ , so please…p-please…” cheryl manages to gasp out, tears spilling before she can stop them, and toni lets out a shaky breath before she licks her lips and nods against her.

 

“okay…okay, cher, whatever you need.” cheryl almost lets out a sob of relief before she’s crashing her lips against toni’s, relishing in the soft whine that escapes the pink haired serpent before she jumps off the sink pushes her back into one of the stalls. toni lets out a small gasp of surprise, perhaps not expecting cheryl to mean _right now_ as the river vixen swiftly locks the stall and shoves toni against the wall almost roughly. she doesn’t care that they’re at school, no one’s here anymore and so fucking what if they’re caught? then she won’t have to pretend anymore, she can just have toni by her side at all times-

 

her lips move down to attack toni’s neck feverishly as the pink haired girl whines and lets out a loud gasp of pleasure, her teeth catching her bottom lip to stop herself from being too loud.

 

“ch-cher, the cleaners-.”

 

“don’t come in till four thirty, we’ve got time.” cheryl breathes, trailing hot kisses across toni’s equally flaming skin before kissing her deeply and reaching down for the button of her shorts once more. she focuses every ounce of her attention on toni, knowing that once this is over, toni will want to talk, will want to discuss cheryl’s feelings and find out what’s wrong, but right now…

 

right now all she wants is _her._

 

as soon as she pulls the zip down, cheryl moves to slide her hand down into the elastic of toni’s underwear, but the second toni hears her sniff back her tears, she grips cheryl’s wrist to stop her, the other hand reaching up to hook a finger into the collar to tug her back slightly. cheryl bites back a whimper and looks into her eyes, vision slightly blurred from the tears as she sniffs once more. toni wipes away the tears falling down her cheeks with the back of her hand, her own tears shining in her eyes, and fuck, the sight breaks cheryl’s heart, to know that this girl was on the verge of tears just seeing cheryl in pain, seeing cheryl clearly struggling with something that she wasn’t aware of, it almost makes her want to call this whole thing off, but toni leans in and presses a kiss to the corner of her mouth before she lets go of her hand.

 

“it’s okay…” she whispers simply, smiling before she uses her free hand to tug her jeans down just a little to give cheryl more room to move her hand. cheryl simply whimpers before she begins pressing open mouthed kisses to the column of toni’s throat, her hand sliding into her underwear and her eyes rolling into the back of her head when she feels her fingers instantly touch the slickness of her heat. she doesn’t waste time, circling her fingers over toni’s clit, and the girl’s hips buck up off the wall as she lets out a soft whine, a hiss of pain escaping her when cheryl bites down harshly on the skin of her neck.

 

“i’m sorry-.” cheryl starts, guilt flooding her for being so rough right now, it’s just that anger is still there, and she knows she shouldn’t be letting it out on toni, _fuck-_

 

“it’s okay. you can be rough, cheryl.” toni says with a light chuckle into her ear. cheryl pulls back, looks at her with wide eyes in shock as the pink haired serpent simply smiles and nods in confirmation of what she just said. 

 

“a-are you s-sure-.” cheryl stutters out, and toni smiles and grips her face in her hands, pressing a sweet kiss to her brow as she does.

 

“ _whatever_ you need, cher. besides, you know i like it rough.” toni teases, giving her a small wink before she bucks her hips into cheryl’s still hand, urging her to continue what she was doing. cheryl licks her lips before she slides her fingers over toni’s clit again, and the girl shudders and falls back against the stall, her hands dropping from cheryl’s face to grip the sides of her shirt as her eyes flutter closed. she bites down on her lower lip, her brow furrowing with pleasure before she’s opening her eyes again and looking at cheryl softly.

 

“but we’re talking afterwards. we’re gonna go back to your place and we’re gonna t-talk, okay?” toni stutters out, her breath hitching when cheryl presses her fingers down into her harder, and cheryl simply purses her lips and nods before she kisses toni once more, lips moving languidly against the pink haired girl’s before she dips her fingers down further. toni pulls away from her with a gasp as soon as she slides two fingers in, cheryl’s nose bumping under her chin to tilt her head back further so she can trail her lips down her throat before she grips the top of the stall to brace herself.

 

she focuses on the sharp breaths that toni draws in to her lungs, focuses on the way the goddamn stall is rattling with each thrust of her fingers as she presses kisses to every inch of toni’s skin she can reach with her lips, focuses on how toni’s hands move underneath her hbic shirt and scratch down her sweat soaked back as she lets out these soft moans and whimpers that have cheryl floating in a whole different headspace entirely. 

 

she eventually pushes a third finger in and winces when toni lets out a sharp cry of pain, cheryl’s hand gripping the stall instinctively moving to cover her mouth even though she knows the school should be empty by now.

 

“i’m sorry-.” toni shakes her head and pulls her hand away with a heavy pant and shaking fingers.

 

“no, just…give me a second.” toni croaks out breathlessly, gulping down air as sweat drips down her forehead, and cheryl knows she’s not any better. she can feel the sweat beads tracking down her neck and thighs from holding toni up against the wall, and the air in here is goddamn stifling, but cheryl doesn’t dare move, gives toni the few moments to adjust before she’s gripping cheryl’s hand and placing it back over her mouth before nodding for her to continue.

 

cheryl completely fucking blanks for a few moments, staring at the way her hand is wrapping over toni’s mouth in a mixture of awe and wonder before she gently and slowly moves her fingers in and out cautiously, but toni’s back arches off the wall and she whines against cheryl’s hand, the sound muffled as her whole body trembles against cheryl’s and her eyes flutter closed.

 

cheryl swallows dryly before she leans in to toni’s ear to whisper into it.

 

“harder?” she rasps. toni shivers against her before she nods desperately against her hand, and cheryl licks her lips before she sinks her teeth into the space between toni’s shoulder and neck and begins thrusting into her roughly, fingers moving as deeply in as she can as toni moans loudly against her hand, and now cheryl understands why she’s making her cover her mouth. 

 

sweat is dripping off every inch of their bodies, and poor toni’s legs are buckling, but cheryl can’t bring it in her to stop. not until she gets toni to her climax. she’s a woman on a fucking mission now, all thoughts of her argument with veronica and the others erased as she replaces her hand covering toni’s mouth with her lips, crashing them desperately against the pink haired girl’s as she whines and moans against her with each thrust of cheryl’s fingers. her little body is ramming against the stall so harshly, cheryl’s worried she’s hurting her, but if she is, toni doesn’t seem to care. she’s _loving_ this, her brow furrowing despite the beads of sweat dripping down her skin as she pulls away from cheryl and throws her head back with a wild gasp.

 

“i’m c-close, cher, please-.” cheryl bends her head down and licks a long trail from toni’s collarbone over her neck to her jawline, gathering the beads of sweat onto her tongue and savoring in the salty taste that hits her as toni shivers against her and bucks her hips up into cheryl’s hand involuntarily, chasing the orgasm that’s eluding her-

 

cheryl maneuvers her hand to brush her thumb over toni’s clit, and cheryl’s forced to clap a hand over her mouth again as toni’s back arches off the stall, a muffled scream escaping her as her eyes screw shut and she clenches around cheryl’s three fingers. cheryl can feel the soaked bud pulsating against her thumb as she pushes down on it harder in an effort to prolong toni’s orgasm, and the girl’s eyes roll into the back of her head as she digs her nails into cheryl’s sides, almost drawing blood from how hard she’s squeezing, but cheryl relishes in it.

 

it means she’s done her job well.

 

finally, after almost a full minute, toni’s body relaxes against the stall, her breathing heavy as cheryl slowly removes her hand from her mouth and simply leans in to press a kiss to her sweat soaked neck. they simply rest against each other for a few moments, trying to catch their breath as cheryl continues trailing kisses along toni’s skin. her heart is pounding so fast, and when her lips touch toni’s pulse, she can feel it thrumming against her lips equally as hard.

 

“cher…cher, i can’t fucking feel my legs, holy shit…” toni breathes, whining as cheryl pulls her soaked hand out of toni’s pants slowly in an effort not to hurt her any further. toni’s being a hundred percent truthful, because her legs tremble and buckle the second cheryl goes to step away. cheryl moves back in and wraps an arm around her waist to keep her upright, a soft chuckle escaping her before she looks down at her soaked hand and bites down on her bottom lip. she raises her hand to her lips, brushing them over her red lipstick that’s now staining toni’s lips and neck before she makes eye contact with toni and gets to work licking the girl’s arousal off her fingers, smiling around the digits with each flick of her tongue as she moves between the crevices to make sure not a single drop is wasted.

 

toni’s eyes are almost black with lust before she growls and hooks a finger into her collar, tugging her forward and almost bruising her with the kiss she gives her before she snakes her tongue out to lick her own come off cheryl’s lips.

 

“thistlehouse. now.”

 

\-------------

 

“so…are we finally gonna discuss what you were upset about?” 

 

cheryl hums softly against the skin of toni’s neck, closing her eyes tiredly and resisting a yawn as the girl brushes her fingers up and down cheryl’s bare back gently. 

 

cheryl almost wants to tell her no, because they’re happy in this moment, lying in her bed and basking in each other’s presence, and she doesn’t want to even think about veronica or josie or betty or anything that happened this afternoon other than the feeling of toni’s skin against her own…

 

but she knows it’s inevitable. toni has a way of getting things out of her that cheryl can’t begin to understand, she has since day fucking one…

 

“if i start, you’re gonna be late for your shift, toni.” cheryl mumbles, the taste of salt on her lips as they brush over toni’s skin. toni sighs and tucks a finger under her chin to lift her gaze out from toni’s neck, their eyes meeting, and cheryl can see the concern shining in them as she leans forward to press a kiss between her eyes.

 

“i can always call in sick…” she whispers against her skin. cheryl lets out a shaky breath, almost nodding her head, but she knows toni’s financial situation is not great and she’s not about to deprive the girl of something she needs just so she can whine and complain.

 

“no, toni, you need the money…it’s okay.” she says softly. toni’s arm wraps around her neck before her fingers move under cheryl’s hair to fiddle with the buckle of her collar. she sinks her head back down into toni’s neck, humming contently as toni’s nails scratch the skin underneath the collar lazily. 

 

“sweet pea can cover for me, i can stay a little longer. come on, cher-bear, tell me what’s wrong…” toni whispers, resting her chin on top of cheryl’s head and sighing once again. cheryl feels her heart flutter at the simple gentleness of it all, despite the hour they’ve just spent being anything but, and she lets out a shaky breath before she begins trailing her fingers over toni’s stomach lightly.

 

“i got into an argument with veronica, josie and betty. and i cancelled vixen practice because of it.” cheryl grumbles, adjusting herself closer to toni as the girl wraps her arms around cheryl tighter despite the unbearable heat, the only relief from it the light breeze coming in through cheryl’s open window. 

 

“an argument about what?” toni murmurs, lips still pressed against the skin of her forehead, and cheryl exhales shakily and leans up to kiss her jaw.

 

she doesn’t want to tell her, but she doesn’t like keeping things from toni, either. they’ve spent the last month and a bit opening up to each other about everything, and toni’s the one person in her life she _has_ that she can talk to about absolutely anything, including her feelings and her emotions.

 

and there just isn’t a point. toni _knows_ something is wrong, and as much as she respects cheryl and gives her space, she always finds a way to get cheryl to open up regardless.

 

“about you.” cheryl finally whispers. toni’s breath hitches, her hand trailing up and down cheryl’s back coming to a standstill for a few moments before she resumes, her lips pressing another gentle kiss to her forehead.

 

“did you tell them about us?” she murmurs. cheryl shakes her head and lets out a small whine as she digs her nails into toni’s stomach, her heart racing just at the thought of veronica finding out about them. if she was judging cheryl for simply hanging out with toni, god only knows what she’d think if she found out cheryl was sleeping with her, and as much as cheryl tries to convince herself that she doesn’t care what veronica thinks, it’s so ingrained into her being that it’s hard to shake off. penelope and clifford blossom raised her believing that everyone else’s opinion of them was the only thing that mattered, she can’t just scrub that hard drilled way of thinking from her mind overnight…

 

“no…but josie says she saw you going to the library and they just started…talking about you, saying that you were probably hooking up with some guy in the back row of bookshelves, and it pissed me off.” toni suddenly laughs lightly, her hand moving back up under cheryl’s hair to touch her collar as her other hand trails up and down cheryl’s arm.

 

“you’re so possessive.” she chuckles. cheryl rolls her eyes and pulls back slightly to look up at her with a scoff and a shake of her head.

 

“it’s not that, toni! they were acting like they know who you are when they don’t know the first thing about you. they think just because you wear that jacket, they know everything about who you are as a person. it’s infuriating!” cheryl sighs, her frustration getting the better of her, but toni simply coos softly and chuckles, and just the sound of it has cheryl smiling as toni brushes her thumb under cheryl’s bottom lip with a smile of her own.

 

“so you were defending me, huh?” she teases. cheryl leans up to peck her lips gently and brushes her nose against toni’s with a nod.

 

“mhmm.” she hums somewhat proudly. yes, she was sticking up for toni, and she’s not ashamed of it, because the girl lying beneath her right now is one of the best people she’s ever met, and fuck veronica and josie and betty for seeing nothing but a serpent jacket. betty was dating jughead for god’s sake, she should know better-

 

toni suddenly cradles her face and leans down to kiss her deeply, effectively pulling cheryl out of her thoughts as she breathes in deeply before toni pulls away and rests her forehead against cheryl’s with a sigh.

 

“you didn’t need to do that, cher-bear. but thank you.” she whispers. cheryl closes her eyes as toni moves her lips to her forehead again, and she ducks her head into toni’s neck once more, lips brushing her skin as toni holds her close as she fights another yawn before replying.

 

“yes i did, toni. you’re amazing, and you’ve done so much for me in the little time we’ve known each other…i wasn’t gonna sit there and listen to them talk about you like that.” she murmurs. toni doesn’t say anything, and cheryl wonders what’s going through the pink haired serpent’s mind when she answers her subconscious question for her. 

 

“and i appreciate that so much, cher. you don’t understand how nice it is to hear you did that for me…everyone only sees me as nothing but trailer trash, i’m kind of used to it by now.” cheryl frowns at that, and she wants to push herself up to look into toni’s eyes, but the girl’s hold on her is quite strong despite how tired both their bodies are, so she simply presses a kiss to her collarbone and shakes her head.

 

“you shouldn’t have to be used to it.” she whispers. she hates that this is toni’s life, constant judgement from all sides over something that she had no control over. she was born into this life of living on the southside and being a serpent, it isn’t fair that she’s treated so horribly for something that’s been a part of her since birth…

 

toni sighs again, but doesn’t reply, and it’s quiet for a long time before toni’s fingers dig into her skin a little, a sharp inhale echoing around the room as she does. 

 

“is that all that happened?” she asks softly. cheryl hesitates before she shakes her head and takes a deep breath in before explaining further, closing her eyes and trying to erase the sight of veronica’s stony expression from her mind.

 

“she said i’ve been spending a lot of time with you, and that i shouldn’t damage my reputation more than it’s already been damaged by hanging around serpents. and i just…lost it at her. i told her she was a bad friend, and i told her off for never checking up on me and only using me when she needs something. and i told her…i told her you were more of a friend to me than she’ll ever be.” cheryl says firmly, her heart pounding against her ribcage faster with each words he utters.

 

toni doesn’t say anything at first. she simply continues brushing her fingers over cheryl’s skin, and a few more moments pass before she suddenly scoffs and entangles her legs with cheryl’s, tucking a finger under her chin and lifting her head once again to kiss her deeply. cheryl responds eagerly, pushing herself up slightly as her tongue slides against toni’s languidly, and toni adjusts them until cheryl’s practically lying on top of her, cheryl’s hands cupping her neck as she moves her lips against toni’s feverishly. toni’s teeth sink onto her bottom lip, tugging gently and pulling a low whine out of cheryl before she kisses the pain away and looks up at her with the most adoring look in her eyes, it almost throws cheryl off completely.

 

it’s a look she’s never gotten from the pink haired serpent before. a look she hasn’t gotten from _anyone_ before, really.

 

cheryl just stares at her, dumbfounded as toni suddenly traces her fingers over cheryl’s cheek and eyebrows, down her nose and over her lips like she’s trying to map out all the features of cheryl’s face so she can dedicate them to memory before she’s kissing her once more slowly. 

 

“i’m proud of you for doing that, cheryl.” she whispers suddenly, inhaling shakily as she pulls back and smiles at her. the sight easily takes cheryl’s breath away as she simply looks down at the serpent in wonder and awe.

 

the way the setting sun is hitting her face through the curtains right now…her eyes are almost golden, her skin flushed and sweating, and cheryl’s overcome with a wave of emotion she has no idea how to explain as she licks her lips and responds shakily.

 

“thank you.” she says in a small voice. toni bites down on her bottom lip as she runs her fingers through cheryl’s sweat soaked hair, that smile still playing on her full, swollen lips that cheryl can’t stop staring at as she hums and cocks an eyebrow thoughtfully, a slight frown taking over her features.

 

“did they at least apologize for being shit to you?” toni grumbles, a hint of anger in her tone, and cheryl rolls her eyes and simply cocks an eyebrow at her.

 

“what do you think?” she says simply. toni scoffs and shakes her head in disbelief before she suddenly bends her knee from its position between cheryl’s legs. cheryl’s breath hitches as soon as her soaked center makes contact with toni’s thigh, and toni grins at her before she leans up to drag her lips across cheryl’s sensually without kissing her.

 

“fuck ‘em. you don’t need them, cher-bear. if they’re not gonna own up to ignoring you and being shit friends, then they can stay out of your life. you deserve friends who really care about you, cheryl.” toni croaks out, her nose dragging across cheryl’s jawline as her hand moves down to gently massage the skin of cheryl’s backside. the red haired girl bites down on her bottom lip and bucks her hips down onto toni’s thigh subconsciously, a light moan escaping her throat as toni’s hands move down to her waist to dig her nails in. 

 

“friends like you?” cheryl breathes, her heart beginning to race from the rocking motion she’s building up to as toni laughs loudly and looks at her in amusement. 

 

“friends don’t usually do things like _this_ with each other, bombshell.” she teases, the hands gripping her waist moving down to her hips to push them down onto her thigh once more, her grip firm and giving cheryl no leeway to do anything but obey her movements. cheryl gasps, her eyes fluttering shut at the sensation that ripples through her body, but before she can get any further, toni suddenly curses under her breath.

 

“shit, what’s the time?” cheryl’s eyes fly open as toni grabs her phone off the bedside table where it’s charging, the phone lighting up to reveal it’s almost five-thirty. her eyes widen, and she claps a hand over her forehead anxiously.

 

“fuck, i’m gonna be late-.”

 

“go shower, toni. you can borrow my clothes again so you don’t have to stop at the trailer.” cheryl says with a deep sigh, reluctantly moving off the pink haired serpent, wishing more than anything that they didn’t have to end this right now. toni frowns with hesitation and sits up slowly, her hands moving around cheryl’s back to brush up her spine tenderly.

 

“cher, are you sure? i don’t wanna leave you, not when something like that happened today-.”

 

“i’ll be fine, toni. if i have any trouble i’ll message you, okay?” cheryl says softly, leaning forward to cradle toni’s cheek in her hand, and the girl smiles and drops her weight onto cheryl’s hand before she licks her lips and shakes her head.

 

“call me. you take forever to reply.” 

 

“i do not!” toni grins before she chuckles and curls her fingers around her wrist to kiss her palm, her fingers moving to the buckle of the collar as she frowns and fiddles with the leather thoughtfully.

 

“do you want me to take it off?” she asks huskily. cheryl chews on her bottom lip hesitantly before she licks them and shakes her head. she needs that control, that stability…today’s been a roller coaster of emotions, she needs _something_ to keep her tied down in toni’s absence…

 

toni smiles and nods before she leans in and presses a kiss to the corner of her mouth.

 

“okay. you can keep wearing it, you have my permission.” she says softly. cheryl smiles, unable to stop herself at just how soft toni’s being with her right now, and toni suddenly groans and leans in to kiss her, pushing her down on the bed onto her back without removing her lips for a single second, and cheryl knows she should be stopping toni, because every second that passes is just making her more and more late for work, but she really doesn’t want her to go-

 

“every time you smile, my heart starts beating so goddamn fast, bombshell.” toni breathes, pulling away from her and resting her forehead against cheryl’s.

 

oh.

 

_that’s…ugh, that’s **soft,** where did this fucking girl come from?_

 

cheryl bites the inside of her cheek to stop herself from smiling again, and toni chuckles as cheryl brushes her hair back from her face affectionately, reveling in wonder at the sight of the sunset once again hitting toni’s face and making her eyes that golden color once more.

 

there isn’t a single blemish on this girl’s skin, either, she must’ve been sculpted from clay and brought to life by zeus, or painted from the finest of leonardo da vinci’s brushes…

 

“you’re beautiful, toni. i need you to know that.” she whispers simply, words of finesse escaping her in that moment despite the thoughts running through her head. toni smiles and purses her lips before she cocks an eyebrow at cheryl and tickles her fingers up cheryl’s sides, causing the girl to let out a small giggle.

 

“and you had the gall to call us ‘friends’…” she teases, shaking her head in disbelief as cheryl rolls her eyes and slaps an open palm over her backside, pulling a yelp out of the pink haired serpent as she stares down at cheryl wickedly.

 

“go shower. you can’t go to work like this, we’re both covered in sweat.” cheryl says with a deep sigh. toni waggles her eyebrows and leans down to press a kiss to her cheek.

 

“mmm, you gonna join me?”

 

“if i do that, you’ll never leave, toni.” 

 

“i don’t think that’s a bad thing.” cheryl ends the banter with another roll of her eyes and a quick peck to toni’s lips. the pink haired girl takes it as her cue and hums as she pushes herself off of cheryl and makes her way to cheryl’s drawer to pick out clothes for herself.

 

“this heatwave is killing me.” she says with a sigh, and cheryl simply hums in response at first, her eyes on the roundness of toni’s ass before she shakes her head to clear her thoughts. 

 

“i know…they said it should break over the weekend.” cheryl murmurs conversationally, crawling her way up to the pillows before collapsing against them with a tired sigh as she finally allows the yawn she’s been repressing to escape her. she’s had way too many orgasms in the last twenty four hours, it’s probably a good thing that toni’s leaving right now…

 

“i hope so. the bar has no air conditioning, i’m probably gonna be taking a third shower today by the end of the night.” toni sighs, picking out a simple red tank top and her favorite pair of cheryl’s denim shorts before she pulls out a pair of red lace panties as well. cheryl cocks an eyebrow at her.

 

“wearing my favorite color, are we?” she teases. toni laughs and gathers the clothes into her arms before she skips over to cheryl and leans down to kiss her temple.

 

“well, you’re so possessive, might as well show people i’m yours.” 

 

ah… _fuck._

 

those words make cheryl pause, but toni doesn’t notice it, still humming under her breath as she moves to the bathroom and gently closes the door behind her. 

 

cheryl simply lets the words wash over her, repeating in her mind on a constant loop as she bites down on her bottom lip and sinks her face into her pillow, not even caring about the makeup that’s probably smearing all over the white pillowcases as she does it.

 

did toni really just say she was _hers?_

 

there’s really no avoiding it anymore. this was moving beyond a friends with benefits relationship…cheryl can’t really deny it much longer. 

 

she definitely has feelings for toni, and she’s quite sure the pink haired serpent has feelings for her, too. 

 

so what was stopping them from simply making this official?

 

_isn’t it obvious, cheryl? it’s **you.** you’re so fucking focused on what people will say when they see you walking down the hallways holding her hand that you’re torturing yourself by preventing this from moving forward. she’s fucking **perfect** for you, cheryl. she listens to you when you talk and she calms you down when you’re mad…she opens herself up to you and trusts you with things she doesn’t even trust her closest friends with…there’s a connection there that’s undeniable, and you’re torturing not only yourself, but her too by continuing to dodge around the obvious!_

 

cheryl lets out a shaky breath as she turns onto her back and looks up at the ceiling. she slowly raises a hand to brush over the collar, her lips pursed, but an easy smile spreading over her face at the sound of water hitting the tiled floor of her shower as toni begins singing softly through the door.

 

could she really do it? could she really make things between her and toni official?

 

it scares her. the thought of walking down the halls of riverdale high hand in hand with toni, it invigorates and excites her, but it also scares the shit out of her. but she’s so _tired_ of denying herself this chance to be herself, to show the world who she really was…

 

she’s tired of hiding her sexuality, of hiding this amazing relationship she has with this amazing girl who brought her so much happiness…she’s tired of letting what happened with her father and brother continue to be the only thing that existed in her life anymore. 

 

and hell, if people are going to whisper things about her, why not let it be about something that made _her_ happy instead of something that made her sad and angry and filled her with nothing but grief?

 

she licks her lips before she lets out a simple sigh and chuckles as toni hits a high note of whatever song she’s singing, and she sinks into the pillows and closes her eyes, not even aware that she’s drifted off to sleep until gentle lips are being pressed to her forehead sometime later.

 

“cher-bear, you can’t sleep with your collar on.” toni whispers against her skin. cheryl groans tiredly, eyes only slightly fluttering open, and the pink haired girl chuckles before her fingers slide around cheryl’s throat to unclasp the buckle, detaching the leather from cheryl’s neck and resting it on the bedside table. 

 

cheryl’s too tired to even lift her eyelids, and toni’s brushing her fingers through cheryl’s hair gently, raking them in a soothing pattern as she hums softly under her breath in an effort to get cheryl back to sleep.

 

and it works like a charm, because with the gentle scrape of toni’s nails against her scalp and the soothing, buttery tone of her voice, cheryl finds herself falling back into her state of unconsciousness, but not before she feels velvety lips pressing against her own in a soft kiss.

 

“goodnight, baby…sweet dreams.” 

 

\------------------

 

cheryl puts off coming face to face with veronica, josie and betty for as long as she possibly can the next day at school.

 

she knows it’s inevitable that she’s going to see them, the pep rally is tonight and the whole school is buzzing with excitement over it, but she walks through the hallways and turns whenever she sees them, making her way instead to the entrance of the school to have a cigarette instead.

 

toni sticks by her side as inconspicuously as possible, and it only further fuels cheryl’s desire to make their relationship official, because her hand has been twitching all fucking day with the need to simply grab toni’s hand and interlace their fingers, but she doesn’t want to just spring it on toni. she wants to talk to her about this first, it wasn’t just her that was making this public, toni was involved, too. 

 

toni’s eyes roam over cheryl’s vixen practice uniform appreciatively, her lips curling into a smirk before she takes a drag from her cigarette and chuckles at the way cheryl huffs and sinks against her car door in frustration.

 

“i don’t want to go in there…”

 

“cher, you’re gonna have to confront them eventually. you have to cheer with them tonight, remember? you don’t have to be nice to them, just do what you gotta do, you know?” toni says with a chuckle. cheryl rolls her eyes and takes a drag from her own cigarette before she moves forward and steps between the space of toni’s legs where she’s sitting on her bike. the girl’s eyes widen before she looks up at cheryl with a raised eyebrow, her hands resting on cheryl’s hips as she wraps her arms around toni’s neck.

 

“someone could see us, cheryl.” she says in a low voice, and it’s true, because school only got out about twenty minutes ago and there’s still stragglers hanging around the parking lot, but cheryl bites down on her bottom lip before she responds, her heart pounding against her chest.

 

“is that such a bad thing?” she murmurs. toni’s eyes widen further, and cheryl can see how hard she’s trying not to grin as she licks her lips and pulls back with a shake of her head.

 

“nuh uh, i’m not distracting you. come on, finish that cigarette and get in there. you’re the hbic, remember? no one fucks with you.” toni says, scrunching her face in mock anger and fierce determination, and cheryl returns it with a wicked grin before she leans down to kiss toni’s cheek quickly. 

 

“fine. are you coming tonight?”

 

“of course. i just gotta pick something up really quickly, but you’ll see me in the crowd, bombshell. go kick butt.” toni waves her off as she smokes the last of her cigarette and throws it to the ground, stubbing it out with her boot before straddling her bike as cheryl does the same with her own cigarette and makes her way back inside the school with a deep and mournful sigh.

 

she’d really rather be anywhere else than here right now…

 

she stops short just before the locker room, licking her lips and trying to calm down her nerves before toni’s words echo in her mind.

 

she’s right. she’s the goddamn hbic, the captain of this squad, and if veronica, josie and betty didn’t like it, then cheryl could find their replacements with a click of her fingers.

 

the thought of toni wearing a vixen uniform suddenly has her mouth watering, and she has to take a moment to erase the image from her mind before she’s gritting her teeth and pushing the door open with a loud bang.

 

she hears a few yelps of surprise before her eyes land on the gaggle of river vixens in front of her, some of them in the process of training and some of them simply stretching themselves out, and cheryl’s eyes immediately fall on veronica, josie and betty by their lockers, all three of them looking up in surprise before cheryl notices that betty and josie wince and veronica’s face falls.

 

“yes, i’m here despite our argument yesterday. i am the captain, aren’t i? now, vixens, how are we feeling!?” cheryl says cheerily, clapping her hands together and smiling as most of the vixens grin back at her to show their excitement. midge klump comes up to her and asks for help on one dance move, and cheryl promises to help her out once they’re in the gym. darla jenkins asks if she can change her very simple cartwheel to a full twisting layout to add more flair to the routine, and cheryl frowns before she answers.

 

“i wanna see it in the gym first. if you can nail it at least six times in a row, i’ll consider it. i want perfection, darla.” the girl nods eagerly before she flails with excitement with midge, and cheryl makes her way over to her locker with a deep exhale, ignoring the way all three girls look at her expectantly. 

 

cheryl gives them nothing. she simply shoves her cigarettes back into her purse before clapping her hands and summoning the river vixens out of the lockers and to the gym. 

 

darla more than proves herself, performing the full twisting layout ten times in a row without even breaking a sweat or stepping a single toe out of line, so cheryl adds to the routine in place of the cartwheel and asks all of them to run it through so she can observe. it looks perfect, completely in place with the river vixens dancing behind her as she does it, and cheryl is practically beaming as she nods in approval and begins to walk midge through the dance move she’s having trouble with.

 

she even pushes her differences aside and helps betty when she missteps as always, walking her through it slowly until the routine is so ingrained into all of their brains, she’s positive they’ll be eighty years old and will still be able to remember each step perfectly.

 

cheryl glances up at the clock on the wall, surprised when she sees it’s almost six, and she raises a hand and simply calls out to get everyone’s attention.

 

“alright, ladies! show time is in an hour, so hit the showers and change into your uniforms! and make sure you stretch again before we get out there, i will not accept any torn calf muscles!” she barks. the girls nod before they begin making their way back to the locker rooms, and cheryl feels her phone buzz in her back pocket. she reaches for it, frowning before she sees it’s a text message from toni.

 

**toni topaz [17:53]**  
_come to the parking lot, i have a surprise for you._

 

cheryl’s teeth sink into her bottom lip as she contemplates what she should do. she really needs to shower, she’s sweating like crazy despite the air conditioning in the gym because of this fucking heatwave, but she can’t mix the opportunity to see toni before the show-

 

_fuck it._

 

she skips to the double doors of the gym instead of turning right to the locker room, pushing them open eagerly and all but running straight for the entrance to the school as she pushes through the doors and skips down the stairs, grinning when she sees toni standing by her impala.

 

“toni!” the girl turns at the sound of her name, an unlit cigarette between her lips that she tucks behind her ear with a grin when she sees cheryl rushing toward her, and cheryl’s feet come stuttering to a stop when she sees what’s in toni’s hands.

 

a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates.

 

cheryl’s heart completely and utterly _melts_ , a soft whimper escaping her as toni chuckles and scratches the back of her neck in what seems like embarrassment.

 

“yeah, uh…i didn’t know what exactly to get you, and fangs spent the entire ride here teasing me about it, but-oof!” toni grunts as cheryl collides into her, wrapping her arms around toni’s neck as the girl stumbles back from the impact before chuckling into her ear and wrapping one arm around her waist while the other holds the chocolates and roses. 

 

“i’m guessing i did a good job?” she teases. cheryl pulls back, and without a single care of who else could be in the parking lot, grabs toni’s face and kisses her deeply, only one thought running through her mind as she does.

 

_i’m making this girl my girlfriend before the night ends._

 

“you did a perfect job. you’re amazing, toni.” cheryl breathes against her lips, still in complete and utter disbelief that toni’s done this for her. toni smiles and gives her another quick peck before she nods to cheryl’s impala.

 

“wanna leave them in the car? i was thinking after we’re done here we could go to the cliffside near sweetwater river, look at the stars and just chill out for a bit?” toni says simply. cheryl smiles and nods once, taking the roses and chocolates from toni’s hands, thankful that she’s at least left her window open because her cover is up. she ducks under it to slide the roses and box of chocolates into the backseat, before quickly sliding out and turning to face toni once more.

 

“get a good seat. i wanna be able to see you while i’m performing.” cheryl says shakily, her nerves slightly staring to get to her now as toni reaches out to grip her waist and pull her in close.

 

“you got it, bombshell. don’t be nervous, okay? you’re gonna be amazing, i just know it.” toni says softly, tucking a lock of red hair behind cheryl’s ear. cheryl smiles and ducks down to kiss her again, toni humming against her lips before they pull away at the same time. cheryl hesitates before she licks her lips and sighs.

 

“my collar…can you take it off for me? keep it safe in your bag until i’m done?” she mumbles. toni smiles and brushes her hair behind her ear before she reaches around her throat with one hand and unbuckles the collar easily, cheryl smirking at her in amusement as she simply shrugs and puts it into her bag for safekeeping.

 

“it’s like unhooking a bra for me at this point.” she says with a chuckle. cheryl smiles and gives her another quick kiss before she mumbles a quick goodbye, reluctant to leave, but excited for what tonight will bring as she detaches herself from toni and makes her way back inside the school. 

 

toni brought her flowers and roses. for her pep rally.

 

why wasn’t she properly dating her again?

 

the list of reasons why is getting thinner and thinner at this point, and cheryl throws the door to the locker room open with a smile still etched on her face as she heads straight to the showers, stripping her clothes in a daze and stepping under the warm water with a satisfied hum.

 

wow…cheryl remembers how often a flare of jealousy would hit her whenever veronica would give archie a quick kiss on the cheek before every game, not because of the fact that veronica was kissing archie, but because she _had_ someone to kiss, someone to cheer for and someone to celebrate with whether the bulldogs won or lost the game.

 

toni brought her roses and a box of chocolates.

 

oh, how cheryl wishes she could flaunt those gifts in front of veronica, josie and betty…show them that someone cared for her unlike they did…

 

_you could if you’d just hurry up and make it official with her already…_

 

one step at a time.

 

cheryl quickly dries herself off and wraps the towel around her waist once she’s done showering before she heads back to her locker, and most of the vixens are already in uniform by time she drops her towel and slips on fresh underwear and a bra.

 

“where did you disappear off to?” josie asks somewhat timidly, the smile on her face completely forced as she looks up at cheryl from touching up her makeup in the mirror. cheryl simply shrugs.

 

“went out for a smoke.” she murmurs, wondering what exactly the reaction from josie would be if she said she went outside to see toni, who gave her a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates-

 

“you need to give that up, cheryl…it’s gonna make you sick.” veronica says suddenly. cheryl’s heart plummets at the sound of her voice, but there’s no anger or stiffness in her voice.

 

she actually sounds like she cares, her voice gentle as cheryl turns around to face her with a raised eyebrow.

 

“and?” she says simply. veronica glides her lipstick over her top lip before she twists it to lower the tube and covers the lid over it with a sigh.

 

“and what? i don’t know where you’ve gotten this idea that we don’t care about you from, cheryl. we’re your friends, _of course_ we care about you! we’ve just got our own stuff going on, so sometimes we forget to check up on you-.”

 

“i disappeared from chuck clayton’s party that friday night all those weeks ago and not a single one of you got worried about where i was. it’s not sometimes, veronica. it’s _all_ the time.” cheryl says coolly. veronica rolls her eyes, about to respond when a hand suddenly brushes down cheryl’s arm.

 

“what v’s trying to say, cheryl, is that we can’t know something’s wrong unless you talk to us about it. we wanna help you, but we can’t do that if you won’t open up to us.” betty says in that irritatingly soft voice of hers that has cheryl squeezing her nails into her palm in anger for no particular reason, really.

 

“it’s hard to open up to people who don’t put the effort in, cousin betty! i’ve _tried_ to talk to you, all three of you, but every time i mention jason or my father, i can _feel_ the goddamn irritation coming off you! you think i don’t realize that you’re sick of me talking about it? i _know_ you are, but it didn’t change your lives like it changed mine! it didn’t destroy your lives like it destroyed mine! so don’t tell me that you want to help me when the truth is, you’re thinking up an excuse not to feel bad for doing exactly what i’m accusing you of doing. _not caring._ ” cheryl’s surprised at how steady her voice is, and the fact that no tears fall down her cheeks is a goddamn miracle.

 

she chalks it down to still being on a high over toni buying her roses and chocolates as she quick steps into her river vixens uniform, gliding the skirt up her thighs to rest on her hips as she zips it up and quickly checks over her makeup in the mirror while betty, josie and veronica continue to stare at her in disbelief.

 

she just ignores them.

 

_“fuck ‘em. you don’t need them, cher-bear.”_

 

she smiles at the sound of toni’s voice echoing in her ear as she touches up her lipstick and fixes the streaks and spots of her foundation as betty, josie and veronica eventually begin to do the same. she can feel a mixture of emotions coming off of all three of them, but they thankfully don’t say another word, probably deciding it’s better to focus on the routine instead.

 

the closer it gets to seven, the more cheryl’s heart begins to race, and she’s never been this nervous before a pep rally before. the last time she felt like this, it had been during her first pep rally ever at the age of fifteen, when she first started on the squad. 

 

toni’s going to be out there. toni’s going to see her cheer for the first time ever.

 

 _she’s gonna love it, cheryl. put the best goddamn show on for her._

 

as soon as everyone’s done fixing their hair and makeup, cheryl fixes her red curls before she gives them her usual pre pep rally motivational speech to get their bloods boiling, not that any of them really need it, and she can feel the tension that’s thick in the air, but she brushes it aside and tells them all to focus on the routine and nothing else and they’ll be fine.

 

as soon as they step out onto the racetrack through the bleachers, the girls begin to cheer and wave at the crowd, shaking their pom poms and grinning widely as cheryl follows suite and gets the loudest cheer of all. she bites back a smug expression as her eyes search the crowd for toni.

 

right there. front row seat, standing up and cheering loudly with a grin on her face as cheryl finally takes in the outfit she’s wearing, a simple black tank top and a plaid pink and black skirt, fishnet stockings and her combat boots with her hair falling down her shoulders in soft pink curls.

 

_god, she’s stunning…_

 

toni makes eye contact with her, the grin on her face only widening as cheryl blows her a kiss and winks at her, making it seem like she’s doing it to the whole crowd as some of the boys from their school cheer and wolf whistle at her. 

 

toni glares up at them, and cheryl bites back a laugh as she turns to look back at cheryl with a roll of her eyes. 

 

the crowd goes silent after a few more minutes of cheering, cheryl grinning when she hears toni’s loud whoop echo out last before the music starts and the girls begin their routine. 

 

she keeps her eyes off toni, not wanting to distract herself and cause chaos as she instead focuses on swaying her hips to the beat of the music and making sure she’s dancing in time with the other girls. darla nails her full twisting layout, and the crowd goes absolutely nuts for her.

 

the whole routine is seven minutes long, and barely two minutes into it, cheryl and the other girls are soaked in sweat from the heatwave, but cheryl pushes through it and prepares for her round off back handspring full twisting layout. the girls settle on either side of her, two pyramids being formed on either side of them as cheryl takes a deep breath in and runs up before performing the move, landing perfectly on her feet with her hair also somehow landing in soft curls back around her shoulders and not over her face by the end of it as the music comes to a stop and she poses along with the other girls.

 

she pants for breath, grinning as the crowd explodes into an uproar of cheers, and cheryl finally allows her eyes to land back on toni, who is clapping her hands and staring at her in complete and utter awe. 

 

“GO BULLDOGS!” cheryl screams, clapping her hands and grinning at toni before she turns just in time to see the football team smash through the banner, reggie mantle front and center with archie andrews by his side as they raise their helmets to the crowd to thank them.

 

and now…now cheryl waits.

 

she plays the perfect part of head cheerleader, screaming for the bulldogs to score and cheering when they do, while bemoaning with the crowd when they fumble with the ball, and roaring in outrage when the away team scores. but she continuously throws glances at toni, who honestly looks bored by the whole thing, her eyes only flashing with excitement when they make contact with cheryl’s. the pink haired girl doesn’t take her eyes off her the entire game, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip every time cheryl assembles the girls to do a small cheer to get the crowd pumped up again during the boring parts of the game and half time. 

 

finally, with the bulldogs scraping by with a two point lead victory, the game ends and cheryl and the river vixens do one last impromptu cheer, the entire team rushing toward them so that the girls can press a kiss to their cheeks to congratulate them.

 

a tradition that cheryl finds herself suddenly missing out on as she rushes toward the water cooler to grab a drink. she’s not in the mood to put up with reggie turning his head last minute so she kisses him on the mouth instead like he always does, especially not in front of toni.

 

the girl doesn’t miss cheryl’s sudden absence, her laugh echoing loudly out to cheryl, who simply sips from her cup and winks at her over it before making her way back to the vixens as chuck clayton is the last to make his way back to the locker room. 

 

the girls give the crowd one last wave before making their way back to their locker room, all of them giggling excitedly as cheryl claps her hands and smiles at them proudly.

 

“brava, vixens! well done! all of you head home and get some rest, you deserve it!” 

 

“head home? moose mason is having the post-party at his tonight, cheryl! aren’t you coming?” midge asks in confusion. cheryl bites down on her bottom lip and simply shakes her head.

 

she knows it’s super shitty of her not to show up considering she’s the head cheerleader, but there’s no way she’s passing up a night with toni to spend it with drunk teenagers, three of which she was pissed off with and were currently in this room.

 

“no, sorry. i have somewhere to be. but if that’s the case, then all of you go and have some fun, and maybe have a drink or two for me, yeah?” she teases, giving midge a small wink before she walks to her locker to grab her bag.

 

“you always seem to have somewhere to be these days, cheryl.” veronica says with a frown. cheryl ignores her and slams her locker shut, and veronica sighs in frustration and reaches out to grab her arm to stop her from walking out, fingers curling around her bicep lightly at first.

 

“cheryl, please, can we just talk about this-.”

 

“let. go. of. me.” cheryl hisses through bared teeth, glaring up at the raven haired girl, who tightens her grip and blinks back tears as she shakes her head.

 

“no! not until we figure this out, the four of us-.”

 

“v, let her go.” betty says softly, the girl’s eyes moving from cheryl to betty’s with a sadness clinging to them heavily, and cheryl glances over her shoulder to see her cousin smile at her and give her a small nod before she looks at veronica and does the same. josie watches it all go down cautiously, eyes filled with worry before veronica lets out a shaky breath and lets her go. 

 

cheryl brushes past her and slings her bag over her shoulder, making her way to the entrance of the school all while trying to swallow down the guilt rising in her chest.

 

veronica clearly wants to work things out with her, all three of them do, but cheryl just _can’t_ do this right now. she doesn’t want to be emotional and upset and sad, not after toni went through all this effort to come to the game to see her cheer. she even brought her roses and chocolate for god’s sake, cheryl wants tonight to be a happy night…

 

she licks her lips as she sets out into the open air once more, a soft moan escaping her at the light breeze that brushes over her heated skin as she skips down the stairs and reaches into her bag for her cigarettes. she’s barely placed one between her teeth before an arm snakes around her waist and a flash of red light sparks between her eyes.

 

“that…was fucking amazing, bombshell.” toni whispers into her ear. cheryl grins and leans forward until the tip of her cigarette is burning cherry red, sweat dripping down her forehead as she takes a drag and turns to look at toni with a smile.

 

“mmm, thank you. come on, let’s get out of here before everyone floods the parking lot.” cheryl grabs her keys and heads for her impala, unlocking it and stepping into the driver’s seat as she throws her back into the foothold of the backseat. she smiles at the roses and chocolates as toni settles into the passenger seat with a grin, and she peels out of the parking lot quickly, making her way for the cliffside near sweetwater river as toni grips her hand over the gearshift and squeezes it.

 

cheryl takes the long way, not wanting to go anywhere near sweetwater river, a shiver running up her spine at the thought of her brother, but if toni notices, she doesn’t say anything, simply continues holding cheryl’s hand as she chats away about how she swapped a shift with sweet pea so she could spend tonight with cheryl, something that immediately makes cheryl's heart feel warm as any doubt or anger about her current situation with her friends melts away.

 

“i’m honestly so glad i made that decision, cher, because holy fuck…you look so hot in that goddamn uniform.” toni says, biting down on her bottom lip and exhaling shakily as she looks at cheryl with nothing but lust shining in her eyes. 

 

cheryl grins and simply puts her foot down on the accelerator a little harder, tossing her now done cigarette out of the window and moving them up the small hill at a breakneck pace until they reach the top of the cliffside.

 

cheryl puts the car into park and she’s barely even pulled the handbrake up before toni’s exiting the passenger side and moving to the backseat. cheryl frowns, but rolls all the windows up and quickly follows suite, and she just enters the backseat as toni grabs the roses and rests them on the passenger seat out of their way. cheryl closes the door behind her as she settles down on the comfy leather seats, and toni leans in to kiss her slowly, a simple brush of their lips against each other’s before she reaches for the box of chocolate.

 

“now, let’s see-ah, shit!” toni looks down at the box with a deep sigh before she turns it over to cheryl, who can see that the chocolates are all melted to almost a complete pool of brown despite the slight darkness surrounding them.

 

“fuck, this stupid heatwave-.”

 

“it’s fine, babe. it’s the thought that counts.” cheryl says with a smile, leaning in to kiss toni’s cheek. the girl sighs again before her eyes suddenly widen and she grins, looking at cheryl with a wicked look in her eyes that kind of frightens the red head.

 

_oh god, she’s thinking something evil-_

 

“or…we could have some fun with it.” she says, a slight purr to her voice that has a shiver exploding up cheryl’s spine. cheryl swallows thickly, and toni settles the box onto the console in the middle of the passenger and driver’s seat before she leans in to begin pressing kisses to cheryl’s neck, the heat of the car already stifling as she tilts her head back to give toni more access.

 

“r-really? like what?” cheryl breathes, her voice a few pitches higher as toni chuckles and quickly whips off her top, throwing it down to the foothold and slowly pushing cheryl down until her back is flat across the backseat. she’s a little too tall to fit, her knees bending a little awkwardly to accommodate for it, and toni easily settles between her legs and begins kissing her way down cheryl’s neck, her hands gripping the hem of her vixens shirt to pull it up and over her head.

 

“i love the uniform on you, bombshell, but it’s in my way.” she mumbles, respectfully resting the shirt over the headrest of the driver’s seat before she quickly moves down to her skirt to pull the zipper on the side down. she moves it down cheryl’s legs, the red haired girl kicking them off the rest of the way before she does the same as she did with her vixens shirt, resting it over the headrest of the passenger seat this time. toni easily slides her skirt down her legs and drops it in the foothold on top of her shirt, and she taps cheryl’s side to get her to arch her back before toni slides an arm beneath her body and unhook her bra.

 

“not wasting time, are we?” cheryl breathes with a slight chuckle, gasping as the hot air meets her bare breasts the second toni pulls the garment off her body. toni unzips her own boots and kicks them off before she grabs cheryl’s sneakers and pulls them off as well. 

 

“nope. we need zero clothes for what i have planned.” she says simply. cheryl frowns, panting breathlessly before she responds.

 

"i thought...we were gonna look at the stars and chill out for a bit." cheryl quotes toni from earlier, and the pink haired girl grins up at her before she shrugs.

 

"changed my mind. that vixen uniform turned me way the fuck on, bombshell." cheryl laughs, but says nothing, just helps toni remove her underwear by bucking her hips off the seat so toni can hook her fingers into the lace to tug them down. toni quickly takes off her own bra and underwear, somehow able to perfectly manoeuver around the car, and cheryl watches her do so, half in awe, half in wonder.

 

“you have a lot of sex in cars before, toni?” she asks with a smirk. toni laughs and simply shrugs.

 

“a few times. never with someone as beautiful as you though.” she says cheekily, prompting cheryl to roll her eyes as toni suddenly reaches for the box of chocolates once again.

 

cheryl suddenly realizes what she has planned, and the rational part of her brain is thinking about how chocolate can stain the leather, but the irrational, horny part of brain couldn’t give any less of a fuck, and truthfully, that part of her brain always wins.

 

she’s a hormonal eighteen year old with a lot of issues, sue her.

 

toni dips her fingers into the chocolate before she’s letting it spill and drip off her fingers onto cheryl’s chest, the heat of it surprisingly hot as cheryl bites down on her lower lip and arches her back off the seat. her skin is sticking slightly to the leather, but in this moment, she doesn’t care, because as soon as the chocolate is done dripping from her fingers, toni holds the digits up to cheryl’s lips, the girl opening her mouth obediently to lick the chocolate off them slowly all while maintaining eye contact with the girl hovering above her. 

 

toni doesn’t even bother holding back her moan as she bends down and begins licking off the chocolate on her skin, tongue moving over a pert nipple as she hums in satisfaction against her. cheryl moans around her fingers, gasping and tilting her head back as toni presses sticky, chocolate kisses to her neck and removes her fingers from cheryl's mouth.

 

“mmm…actually tastes better coming off your body.” toni murmurs into her ear. cheryl whines and bucks her hips up as toni laughs and uses her non-chocolate covered hand to move further down cheryl’s body, pressing her fingers and moving them up her slit as cheryl lets out a shaky breath and grips the back of toni’s neck to pull her down for a kiss.

 

the girl tastes like chocolate, cheryl addicted to the cocoa flavor as toni slides her fingers over cheryl slowly, teasingly, bringing her only the smallest hint of pleasure to indicate that she has no plans to make this a speedy climax.

 

toni dips her hand back into the chocolate while her other one continues to press slowly against cheryl’s clit, and she’s marking cheryl’s neck this time, playing arts and crafts against alabaster skin before she’s licking up every ounce of chocolate and sweat that’s covering cheryl’s skin. the heat’s only getting worse the more they continue, and cheryl can feel sweat dripping off her body as toni runs her chocolate covered hand down cheryl’s stomach, following the trail with her tongue happily as she continues lashing cheryl’s clit with small circles.

 

“t-toni, please!” cheryl gasps out, her heart pounding against her chest as toni bites down on the skin of her ribs harshly.

 

“mmm, please what?” she murmurs, pressing her fingers down harder on her clit while she scoops up the last of the chocolate liquid in the small box.

 

“please fuck me, please…” cheryl begs, not even remotely upset or embarrassed at how needy she sounds as toni trails a line of chocolate from her bellybutton, between the valley of her breasts and up to her neck before she’s raising her chocolate covered fingers to cheryl’s lips again. the girl moans around her fingers as she sucks them clean, and toni watches her, pupils blown with lust before she bends down to lick the trail from her bellybutton up to her neck with an insistent and heavy tongue. 

 

“god, salty and sweet…perfect combination to describe you, cher-bear.” toni says with a grin, and cheryl’s about to curse her out for continuing to tease her like this when toni suddenly hooks an arm around her back and pulls her up with incredible strength, cheryl letting out a squeak of surprise before she finds herself straddling toni’s lap as she sits on the far right of the backseat behind the passenger’s seat, her knees on either side of toni’s hips as the girl continues toying with her clit.

 

“remember how much you loved this last time?” toni breathes, reaching her hand up to curl it around the back of cheryl’s neck, and she feels like she should be complaining about toni getting chocolate in her hair but she doesn’t care about much of anything right now as she bites down on her bottom lip and nods furiously.

 

“yeah…” she purrs, rolling her hips down against toni’s hand and relishing in the light growl that escapes the pink haired serpent as she wraps her lips around her left nipple, teeth biting down lightly on the perky bud as cheryl threads her fingers through toni’s hair to keep her in place.

 

the girl pulls away after a few moments of worshipping with a loud pop before she looks up at cheryl and tightens her grip around the back of her neck.

 

“then ride my fingers, baby. you know what to do.” toni says huskily, and before cheryl can say anything, two fingers slide into her heat as the palm of toni’s other hand smacks down onto her backside, causing her hips to buck forward and push toni’s fingers further into her. cheryl mewls, her head thrown back and a wild gasp escaping her lips as toni moves her other hand back around cheryl’s neck, and god, when her thumb presses down on cheryl’s pulse point, she loses all fucking sense of her body.

 

she’s grinding down onto toni’s fingers, fucking herself to oblivion as the pink haired serpent applies more pressure to her neck with every movement of her hips. she’s not cutting off her oxygen, but the pressure is enough to have her face flushing within minutes as she moans and whimpers and sinks herself down onto toni’s fingers over and over again in desperation to get to her climax. her clit is throbbing, her whole body aching for release as toni attaches her mouth to cheryl’s chest once more, nipping and sucking and licking at her breasts, and the fucking stimulation from all these erogenous areas is driving cheryl fucking _insane._

 

“t-toni, fuck!” her hips stutter, her body aching from a month of hardcore vixen training and _this,_ but toni doesn’t stop despite it, applies more pressure to her neck and simply brushes her thumb over cheryl’s clit to get her closer to where she needs to be.

 

cheryl lets out a high pitched whine, the whole car shaking with the force of her hips thrusting down onto toni’s fingers as the pink haired serpent licks up the beads of sweat that trail down her torso, humming at the mixture of salty and sweet that hits her tastebuds as she gives cheryl’s neck another squeeze at the same time her thumb brushes over cheryl’s clit once more.

 

cheryl doesn’t even bother holding back her moan, loud and filthy as her thighs squeeze around toni’s hips and her core muscles spasm. she clenches around toni’s two fingers greedily, her hands gripping the girl’s shoulders and nails digging into her skin as toni slowly decreases the pressure on her neck until she’s moving her hand away completely and letting cheryl rolls her hips down to ride out her orgasm. her moans eventually taper off into soft whimpers as she collapses forward and rests her forehead against toni’s, the both of them dripping sweat and panting heavily.

 

it’s silent for a few moments, the only sound filling the car is their heavy breathing and their soft giggles before toni leans up to kiss her neck, trailing her lips up until she’s kissing her soundly.

 

“you okay?” she whispers. cheryl hums happily as her eyes flutter shut and she nods. 

 

“mhmm…best post pep rally celebration ever.” she says with a breathless laugh. toni laughs as well, running her fingers of her free hand up and down cheryl’s sweat soaked back, and it doesn’t occur to the red haired girl that toni’s fingers are still inside her until she shifts beneath cheryl’s body slightly, her fingers probing her inner walls from the action and causing her to let out a whimper as her body throbs with need once more.

 

“think you have one more in you, baby?” toni whispers. cheryl can’t help the whine that escapes her, and truthfully, she’s not even sure she does, but the look in toni’s eyes has her biting down on her bottom lip before she nods and begins rocking her hips down onto toni’s fingers once more, the pink haired serpent watching her body roll and grind down with nothing but lust as she wraps her free arm around cheryl’s waist to help guide her down onto her fingers, but cheryl feels like all the energy has been zapped out of her, a choked out sob leaving her throat as her body burns-

 

toni pushes her back slightly until the back of her head connects with the headrest of the passenger seat, giving toni more room to begin moving her fingers in and out of cheryl quickly as she leans forward to kiss her way up cheryl’s body, her fingers moving faster as cheryl buries her fingers into toni’s hair, and god, it’s an awkward angle, and if anyone came across them right now they’d probably wonder what the fuck they were doing, but cheryl can’t bring it in her to care because toni’s lips are wrapping around her nipple once more and she’s moving her fingers so fast-

 

she uses her thumb to press down on her clit _hard_ , rubbing down firmly until cheryl’s back snaps up slightly and her whole body trembles, her eyes rolling into the back of her head, and she swears, she’s on the cusp of blacking the fuck out, her body pulsating with wave after wave of pleasure as toni removes her lips from her breast and kisses down her stomach, a hand smoothing up and down her back before she pulls cheryl away from the back of the passenger seat to bring her into her arms. 

 

cheryl feels weightless, her body sagging against toni’s as she closes her eyes and pants for breath, but the girl simply presses kisses to her skin before she gently removes her fingers from cheryl’s soaked core. cheryl’s shaking like a goddamn leaf against her, and toni whispers soft words into her ear as she chuckles and presses a kiss to her ear.

 

“i think it’s a good thing i’m working this weekend, bombshell…you need a few days of rest.” she croaks out. cheryl whines and wraps her arms around toni’s neck, burying her face into her skin with a shake of her head even though she knows toni is right, she _does_ need a fucking rest. but not from toni…from sex, yes, but not from toni…

 

cheryl's quite sure she'll never actually get enough of toni.

 

_ask her, cheryl…fucking ask her, please, it’s killing you, just do it…_

 

“toni?” cheryl whispers, her voice shaking as the pink haired girl hums softly in response. 

 

god, she's so scared...and she doesn't even know why. there's always the chance that toni could reject her, maybe toni likes what they have right now, maybe she doesn't want to jeopardize it by moving it into a relationship, maybe cheryl should just keep her mouth shut-

 

_you're an idiot if you're seriously going to sit there and not realize she likes you back, cheryl. she has three different pet names for you and she always talks about how beautiful you are! now fucking **ask her.**_

 

cheryl pulls back from toni's neck and swallows thickly before she looks into her eyes and exhales shakily, her heart pounding against her chest wildly once again.

 

“will...will you be my girlfriend?” she asks softly, her voice small and unsure, because fuck, if toni rejects her right now, cheryl isn’t sure she’ll be able to handle it-

 

toni’s eyes widen, nothing but surprise shining in them, and it literally takes her only a second or two of shock before she’s smiling and nodding once, not an ounce of hilarity or amusement in her eyes as she reaches up to cradle cheryl’s cheek affectionately.

 

“yeah, cher-bear. i’ll be your girlfriend.” she whispers. 

 

cheryl’s heart fucking _soars._

 

holy shit. _holy shit_ , toni was her girlfriend. 

 

she could fucking dance right now, she really fucking could-

 

“r-really? you mean it?” she finds herself blurting out, because fuck, she just needs to _make sure_ this isn't a joke or a hoax or even worse, a dream of some sort-

 

toni laughs and begins pressing gentle kisses all over her face, cheryl’s heart aching with the affection of it all as she giggles and tries to squirm away playfully.

 

“ _yes_ , i mean it! honestly, cher, i've been meaning to ask you if we can make this official for a week or so now, i just wanted to leave it up to you because i know you're not out yet, i...i’ve never felt like this before about someone…i really, really like you, bombshell.” toni says hoarsely, teeth gnawing at her bottom lip to stop herself from smiling, but she fails miserably, and cheryl's heart is pounding so hard against her chest, those words rushing through her mind constantly over and over again on loop.

 

 _"i really, really like you, bombshell."_

 

“i really, really like you too, toni.” she breathes, teeth gnawing on her bottom lip as toni grins widely brushes her thumb under it to get her to free it before she kisses her, teeth nipping at her bottom lip playfully as cheryl giggles against her. they kiss languidly for a few moments, the warmth radiating through cheryl's body having nothing to do with the heatwave before toni pulls back and rests her forehead against cheryl’s.

 

“can…can we make our relationship public?” toni asks softly, hesitantly, eyes filled with concern, like she’s worried cheryl’s gonna flip out at her, as if it's at all possible for her to flip out on toni...

 

cheryl once again takes a shaky breath in, contemplates just how much this one answer she gives is about to change her life before she gives it.

 

everything is going to change when she walks into school on monday morning hand in hand with toni topaz. she’ll more than likely officially join her southside serpent girlfriend at the bottom of the barrel, the whole of riverdale learning that the cheryl blossom was a lesbian, dating a girl from the wrong side of the tracks…

 

word will more than likely reach her mother, wherever the hell she is, and cheryl closes her eyes and licks her lips as she grips toni’s hand for an anchor…no collar needed.

 

_what are you feeling right now, more than anything, cheryl?_

 

more than anything? god… _happy._ she’s so goddamn happy right now, she feels like she’ll never be able to stop smiling…

 

_then there’s your answer, isn’t it? fuck what everyone else thinks, especially your mother…you’re **happy.** toni makes you happy._

 

“cher?” toni whispers. cheryl opens her eyes, meeting the golden brown ones staring into her own as she smiles and simply nods.

 

fuck it. no more hiding who she was anymore. this is who she is. gay and proud of it, with the world's most amazing girlfriend by her side...

 

“yeah. we can make it public.” the absolute look of joy on toni’s face makes it all worthwhile, the way she beams up at cheryl with eyes filled with excitement filling cheryl's heart with nothing but adoration and affection before she kisses her again and whispers against her lips.

 

“are you sure?”

 

“mhmm. i want everyone to know how happy you make me, toni topaz.” cheryl croaks out truthfully, smiling and kissing her gently as toni wraps her arms around her waist and pulls her closer into her lap.

 

“good…cause i want everyone to know how happy _you_ make me, cheryl blossom.” she whispers back.

 

they simply stay wrapped in each other’s embrace for a long time, toni’s fingers brushing up and down her back as cheryl runs her own fingers through toni’s hair, the sweat slowly drying on their skin as cheryl runs through the last month in her mind again.

 

she really met toni just over a month ago and so much has changed since then...god it all just seems so impossible...

 

toni pulls back suddenly and looks at her with a cheeky grin.

 

“can we make our kinky sex life public too?”

 

“god, shut up.” cheryl groans, grabbing her face and kissing her into silence as toni laughs against her breathlessly.

 

a girlfriend.

 

cheryl blossom had a girlfriend.

 

toni topaz was her girlfriend.

 

_and you really thought you’d never be happy again after jason died…look at you now, kid...look at you now..._


	10. all that matters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew, back with another big chapter, this one's like 15K, i think after this it's gonna slow down tho tbh
> 
> if you don't already know i have a twitter, you can catch at @endofdaysforme for fic updates and general crying over choni!
> 
> hope you enjoy this one, it's like the last chapter, fifty percent smut, fifty percent plot. we're going into a big storyline very soon, so hope you guys can stick it out! leave a comment letting me know what you think!

“toni, _oh my god…_ ”

 

“shh, hold it in, you can do it, cher-bear…”

 

cheryl whines, her eyes welling with tears before she can stop them as toni’s fingers gently move around her frontal wall, her thumb only ever so slightly brushing over her clit and sending a jolt of pleasure up cheryl’s body. she tries to stave off her impending orgasm, but _fuck_ , toni’s been doing this for well over an hour now, edging her closer and closer before she whisks it away with a pull of her fingers. 

 

it’s sunday night, two days since cheryl had asked toni to be her girlfriend, and they’ve not only been messaging each other non stop during toni’s shifts at the bar, but toni had decided that spending saturday without cheryl had been enough for her, the girl sending cheryl a message after her shift to tell her she was coming over. 

 

cheryl thought that they were just going to talk and eventually go to sleep.

 

toni had other plans in mind.

 

and god, even though cheryl’s whole body is still so fucking sore from _everything_ she and toni had done on thursday and friday, even though she had told toni she didn’’t think she could handle it, toni had given her this look that had her center immediately throbbing, had promised to only give her one orgasm tonight, but she just _had to have her._

 

cheryl didn’t realize it was going to be an hour long torture session before she got that orgasm.

 

“just keep breathing, baby, you’re doing _so_ well…one more time, okay?” cheryl’s nails scratch down toni’s shoulders, the girl hissing in pain in her ear as cheryl nods against her with a heavy pant. toni thrusts in slowly, watching cheryl’s face carefully as her brow furrows and her lips part with a soft gasp.

 

“t-toni, i n-need-.”

 

“i know you need it, cher, but _i want_ you to hold it. just one more time, and then i’m gonna give you what you need, shh…” 

 

the tears fall down the sides of her face before toni leans in and kisses them away, lips gentle and soft against her skin as she trails her lips down to brush them over cheryl’s lips.

 

“you’re close, aren’t you?” toni breathes, watching cheryl’s flushed face in awe as the girl bites down on her bottom lip and groans before nodding. her stomach is almost aching with the denial of her release, and she knows her inner thighs are _covered_ in her own come, but once again, toni’s fingers still inside her as she leans down to press a gentle kiss to cheryl’s neck.

 

cheryl almost screams, a high pitched cry escaping her as she rocks her hips down onto toni’s fingers desperately, and toni suddenly pulls her fingers out of her harshly and pushes her hips back down onto the bed with both hands, looking at her with a raised eyebrow and a stern gaze.

 

“hey, don’t do that again. you’re coming on my terms, remember?” cheryl licks her lips, collapsing back down onto the bed with a shudder.

 

“i’m s-sorry-.”

 

“shh, don’t be, baby. you just wanna come so badly, don’t you?” toni coos softly, smiling as she leans down to kiss cheryl slowly, lips and tongue dragging against her mouth as cheryl responds with an eager whimper and a desperate nod.

 

“so bad…s-so bad, toni, p-please…” toni hums, the vibration from her lips making cheryl shudder as she moves to her ear and bites down on the lobe harshly.

 

“what was that?” she purrs into her ear. cheryl fights hard to keep her hips still as she pants breathlessly and swallows dryly.

 

she’s gonna make her beg, _fuck-_

 

“please… _please_ , toni, i c-can’t hold out much longer, just _please…_ ” she almost sobs, that desperate to get off as toni inhales sharply, cheryl still chanting the word ‘please’ as if it’s gospel before toni pulls back and looks into her eyes, her teeth gnawing on her bottom lip before she hums softly and leans down to brush her lips against cheryl’s teasingly.

 

“can you do something for me?” toni breaths against her lips. she hasn’t even finished her fucking sentence before cheryl’s nodding desperately, willing to do whatever this girl wants, she just needs this to torture to _stop-_

 

toni brings her soaked hand up to cheryl’s lips, raising an eyebrow at her before she rests just her thumb against cheryl’s bottom lip in question. 

 

cheryl hesitates before she slowly parts her lips, heavy breaths escaping her as her tongue rests on her bottom teeth, and toni exhales shakily, pupils blown with lust as she slowly pushes her fingers into cheryl’s mouth. 

 

cheryl’s eyes roll into the back of her head at the taste of herself, a moan escaping her throat before she can stop it as she swirls her tongue around each digit to gather up every inch of her arousal drenching toni’s hand. toni lets out a moan of her own at the sight, her teeth clutching her bottom lip as cheryl’s eyes flutter closed.

 

“god, i bet you taste fucking phenomenal as always…” toni croaks out, licking her lips as she watches cheryl’s own wrap around her index finger before she’s sliding it out of her throat with a loud pop. cheryl wraps a hand around the back of toni’s neck and pulls her down for an incredibly dirty kiss, making sure her tongue slides against toni’s so the girl can get a taste. 

 

toni’s nails dig into her sides with a moan before she pulls away, and god, the look in her eyes right now is goddamn _carnal._

 

cheryl feels like she should be a little scared, but she knows she has no reason to be, and if this means toni’s about to get her off, she doesn’t _care_ what happens next-

 

“when you let go, you _let go_ , cheryl. no holding back, i wanna hear you loud and clear. do you understand?” toni demands, nipping at her bottom lip harshly as she does.

 

god, she’s being so fucking bossy, why does cheryl love it so fucking much-

 

“y-yes!” cheryl squeaks, nodding furiously before toni grins wickedly and begins moving down her body, trailing kisses over every inch of alabaster skin she can reach before she’s hooking cheryl’s legs over her shoulders and dragging her tongue up her center.

 

it literally only takes three broad strokes of toni’s tongue against her clit before cheryl’s coming hard, her screams reverberating off the walls of her bedroom as her whole body pounds with wave after wave of pleasure. toni uses her hands to keep cheryl from snapping her head between her legs, pulling them apart and continuing to lick up her length gently as cheryl’s back violently arches off the bed, her screams tapering off into moans as she comes down from her high. toni hums against her, the vibration against her clit causing cheryl to gasp and wince from the sensitivity as her hips twitch, and toni pulls away as cheryl looks down at her breathlessly.

 

it can’t be possible, for every single time to just get better and better-

 

“fuck, toni…” she pants, collapsing back onto the pillow and swallowing thickly as toni smooths a hand over her stomach. cheryl looks down at her again, sees her licking her lips clean before she’s kissing the skin beneath her bellybutton affectionately, and _god_ , it’s the sexiest thing cheryl’s ever seen but she’s pretty sure she has nothing left in her to feel aroused at the sight, which kind of makes her a little mad, truthfully.

 

_is it even possible to be that thoroughly **fucked?**_

 

toni gives her a few moments to settle before she moves down again, and cheryl’s heart begins racing because _god_ , she really can’t handle another one-

 

a soft tongue begins licking at her inner thighs, toni cleaning her up dutifully as cheryl sighs half in relief, half in content. she pushes herself up onto her elbows, her hand reaching out to rake toni’s hair away from her face as the pink haired girl smiles up at her lightly before continuing her job, her hands smoothing up and down cheryl’s thighs delicately.

 

“i think that’s the hardest you’ve ever come.” she chuckles, cheryl still catching her breath as she watches toni happily lick the arousal off her thighs and around her center, carefully avoiding her clit as she does.

 

“maybe it’s because you’ve been teasing me for over an hour, toni.” cheryl sighs tiredly, smiling all the same as toni grins up at her with a wink.

 

“nah, i think it’s knowing that it’s your _girlfriend_ fucking you that’s getting you off. not just your fuck buddy anymore.” toni says, almost relishing in the word ‘girlfriend’ cheerfully as cheryl feels her heart absolutely and utterly melt.

 

she really didn’t think toni would be this invested in being her girlfriend and yet here she is, happily saying the word so easily, so willingly…

 

“mmm, agreed…that too.” cheryl croaks out, her throat slightly aching from how hard she was screaming. toni’s smile softens, and she finishes cleaning cheryl up before she moves between her legs to kiss her, cheryl moaning at the taste of herself all over toni’s lips, tongue and chin. toni’s right, she does taste phenomenal…

 

toni pulls away with a soft hum as she wipes away any other trace of arousal left on her face with the back of her hand, the other tucking a lock of hair behind cheryl’s ear before she suddenly frowns.

 

“hey, so…there’s some things i wanna talk about…” toni trails off, taking both of cheryl’s hands in her own and interlacing their fingers, watching as cheryl yawns tiredly in response. toni blinks in surprise before she chuckles and shakes her head suddenly.

 

“but, it can wait till tomorrow morning. for now, we sleep.” she says firmly. cheryl frowns and shakes her head, pulling toni down by their interlaced hands for another gentle kiss as she whines in protest.

 

“no, i’m awake, let’s talk, baby-.”

 

“shh, it’s okay, cher-bear. it can honestly wait till tomorrow morning, you need to sleep. i’m sorry i came in here all bossy and shit, demanding an orgasm from you, i just…i _missed you_ , cheryl…” toni says softly, smiling down at her girlfriend, squeezing their fingers together as the red head blinks up at her with a lazy smile.

 

“i missed you too…” she whispers, her eyelids drooping more and more by the second, and she knows she’s fighting a losing battle. she’s _exhausted._

 

toni smiles and leans down, lips pressing against her brow before she collapses down beside cheryl and pulls the girl into her arms.

 

“sleep. i’ll be here in the morning, cher-bear. and then we can talk.” she murmurs.

 

“promise?” cheryl slurs, arm wrapping around toni’s waist with a sigh.

 

“promise.”

 

cheryl falls asleep the second toni’s lips make contact with her forehead.

 

when she wakes the next morning, something feels off. 

 

there’s no added weight beside her, warm arms missing from around her body, and cheryl’s eyes almost instantly snap open, toni’s name on the tip of her tongue before she looks around and finds her.

 

toni’s sitting by the window sill, the rising sun shining on her beautifully as she smokes a cigarette, and cheryl lets out a sigh of relief, catching the girl’s attention. she smiles widely, cheryl taking in her pink lace bra and matching panties that she’s now wearing that had so quickly been discarded yesterday-

 

“good morning, bombshell.” toni says happily, and cheryl smiles before she throws the covers off herself and jumps up, making her way over to the pink haired serpent giddily. 

 

god, she could get used to waking up next to toni every morning…

 

toni laughs and immediately opens her legs, inviting cheryl to sit between them, which she happily does, humming as she grabs a silk robe and slips it on before she turns and scoots into toni with a wide grin, her back pressing against toni’s chest. she reaches for her own pack of cigarettes on the window sill, crushing the little ball in the filter that makes it taste like mint before she lights it and takes a drag, collapsing into toni’s arms with a sigh of content.

 

it’s silent for a few moments before-

 

“we really need to take a break from sex, cheryl, my fingers hurt.” toni grunts out, flexing said fingers out in front of them. cheryl blinks with wide eyes, processing her words before she’s snorting with laughter, and toni grins before she joins in, wrapping her arms around cheryl and pressing a kiss to her temple. 

 

“i’m sorry, i know i can get a little aggressive…” cheryl says, a heavy blush creeping onto her cheeks from embarrassment. she didn’t even realize how hard she must’ve been riding toni’s fingers in the car the other day, and after last night, too…she just gets so lost in the moment, it’s hard not to when there’s waves of pleasure rushing through your body-

 

“did you like that last night, cher? me kind of…being demanding and stuff?” toni says suddenly, catching cheryl completely off guard as she’s ripped out of her thoughts. she frowns before she sinks in even further against toni, taking in her words and truly thinking about them. 

 

truthfully…yes. she liked toni being so dominant in the bedroom, liked her telling cheryl when she could come and when she couldn’t, liked when she was rough and demanding…and it’s strange. because her whole life, she’s been so out of control of everything, but when it came to this…when it came to _toni…_ it didn’t matter anymore. at least not having control…

 

and cheryl knows why. it’s because she knows she can trust toni with her life. and she knows toni will never, ever do anything to harm her.

 

“cher?” toni presses a kiss to her ear, and cheryl exhales shakily as she nuzzles against her tenderly with a hum.

 

“yeah. i don’t mind you being in charge, toni.” she croaks out, smiling as toni finishes off her cigarette and stubs it out onto the ashtray before she curls cheryl’s hair in one hand and moves it over her left shoulder, her lips pressing kisses to the bare skin of her shoulder as cheryl takes a drag from her own cigarette.

 

“mmm…i liked it, too. but cheryl, i don’t want to make you uncomfortable, like ever, so if you change your mind or if i ever go too far-.”

 

“i’ll tell you, toni. you know i will.” cheryl promises, smiling as toni kisses her neck and hugs her even closer. 

 

“i know you will. this thing we have…it’s so _good,_ cher-bear. the fact that we can talk so openly with the each other about _everything,_ it’s the best thing i’ve ever had. and i know you feel the same way…” toni murmurs, her nose skimming against cheryl’s jaw lightly. cheryl smiles and nods against her slowly, humming in confirmation as she closes her eyes.

 

“i do…” toni chuckles as cheryl raises her cigarette to her lips, opening her eyes and squinting as the sun hits them over the horizon.

 

“good. i just…once we go public with this, people will know, and they’ll see my jacket and think i’m like…controlling you or something, and if i step more into that dominant role-.”

 

“fuck what anybody thinks!” cheryl blurts out, turning in toni’s arms with a small huff of annoyance as toni stares at her in shock from her outburst. she throws her almost done cigarette out of the open window and grips toni’s face in her hands, brushing her thumbs over flushed, caramel cheekbones as she licks her lips and shakes her head.

 

she doesn’t want toni to feel this way at all…cheryl’s spent the last year in that position, constantly worrying about what people thought about her, and she knows toni’s only worrying now because this involves cheryl as well, but it doesn’t matter. what other people think doesn’t matter, either. 

 

all that matters is _them._

 

“who cares about anyone else, toni. this is _our_ relationship, not anyone else’s. i’ve never cared less for what people think right now…for the last year, all my life has revolved around is my reputation, but when i’m with _you,_ none of that matters anymore. please don’t let that become your worry, if they think you’ve corrupted me, or you’re controlling me…they can fuck off.” cheryl grunts the last few words, and toni laughs loudly before she purses her lips and curls her fingers around cheryl’s wrists.

 

“i know, baby…i don’t care what anyone thinks, you know i don’t, but i also don’t want this to affect you negatively, either. you’re dating a southside serpent, cheryl. this is gonna change things for you dramatically.” toni frowns, her eyes filled with concern, and cheryl’s heart breaks at the sight of it.

 

she doesn’t give a shit about herself, she only cares about how this is going to hurt cheryl, how it’s going to affect her-

 

cheryl crashes her lips against toni’s, unable to stop herself as toni sighs against her, returning the kiss slowly before she pulls away and rests her forehead against the redhead’s.

 

“i know. but i’m with _you,_ toni. you’re worth whatever comes next for me. please know that…you’re _worth it to me._ ” cheryl whispers, nails scratching at the back of toni’s neck affectionately.

 

toni’s expression softens immeasurably, lips curling up into a soft smile before she presses another kiss to cheryl’s lips lightly.

 

“you’re worth it to me too, cher-bear.” she whispers back.

 

cheryl’s heart practically soars, pounding against her chest almost painfully as toni grips her hips and pulls her closer to straddle her lap, cheryl resting her backside against toni’s thighs before the pink haired serpent begins kissing her neck playfully.

 

cheryl giggles from the feeling, running her fingers through toni’s hair before toni suddenly curls her hands underneath cheryl’s upper thighs, grunting against her skin as she lifts her off the window sill, cheryl gasping in surprise as toni laughs breathlessly into her hair.

 

“we should shower before school, baby.” toni says, kissing her collarbone as cheryl places her thumbs beneath toni’s jawline to lift her head up for a kiss, toni still carrying her toward the bathroom door. she bites down on toni’s bottom lip, pulling on it as the girl carrying her moans at the action breathlessly.

 

“cher, you can’t do that, or i’m gonna pin you down to that bed and fuck you until school’s out.” she growls lightly. a shiver immediately runs up cheryl’s spine, and she licks her lips before she rolls her hips against toni’s stomach teasingly.

 

“i like the sound of that.” she breathes, kissing her way across toni’s jawline to tug her earlobe between her teeth, but toni pulls away from her and rests her down on the bed butt first with a shake of her head, laughing when cheryl whines in protest and makes grabby hands at her to bring her back into her embrace. 

 

“so do i, but we need to give our bodies a rest, cheryl. i know we can’t seem to get enough of each other, but i can see how tired you are, and i’m feeling pretty exhausted myself, so let’s just…cool it down for a few days, okay?” toni says, tucking a lock of cheryl’s hair behind her ear tenderly as she does. 

 

cheryl bites down on her bottom lip, wanting nothing more than to tell toni that she’s wrong, that she _can_ handle it, but she knows her girlfriend is right.

 

her _girlfriend…_

 

“okay, toni. you’re right…we can spend a few days just talking like we always do.” cheryl says with a smile. toni’s responding one is earth shattering as she leans forward to rest her lips against cheryl’s quivering brow.

 

“good. besides, we’re gonna have a lot to talk about after today.” toni sighs and pulls away before she’s bending down and gripping cheryl’s knees in her hands tightly, looking up at the girl with a frown of concern.

 

“cheryl…are you _sure_ you wanna make our relationship public? the second we walk through those double doors of riverdale high together today, that’s it. everyone knows you’re a lesbian and that you’re dating me. are you sure you’re ready for that?” she asks firmly. cheryl places her hands over toni’s before she nods without hesitation.

 

_she’s worth it._

 

“that’s not what i’m focusing on, toni. what i’m really ready for…is a relationship with _you._ ” 

 

cheryl swears she sees tears well in toni’s eyes, and the girl blinks rapidly almost in confirmation of cheryl’s thoughts before she leans up to kiss cheryl deeply, hands cradling her face delicately as she does.

 

“you’re amazing, bombshell.” toni whispers against her lips, causing cheryl to smile before she stands up and holds her hands out for cheryl to take. 

 

“come on, let’s shower and get out of here.” 

 

\--------------

 

“you ready, baby?” 

 

toni’s thumb is brushing patterns over the back of cheryl’s hand soothingly as the girl licks her lips and watches the students that pass her impala, thankful more than ever for the tinted windows that stop anyone from looking inside and seeing cheryl blossom having a mild panic attack at entering the hallways of riverdale high. 

 

there’s only the slightest sound of rain beginning to patter on the cover that acts as a roof to her car, the faint rumble of thunder echoing in the distance as cheryl exhales shakily and turns to look at toni with a nod.

 

“i’m ready. but before we go in…” cheryl reaches into her purse with slightly trembling fingers, taking out her collar and holding it out to toni, who looks down at it with a sharp inhale of breath before looking up at cheryl with a smile.

 

“you sure?”

 

“mhmm…” cheryl twists her hair with one hand before holding it up as toni takes the collar from her other hand. she smiles softly at the redhead before she leans across the gearshift and presses her lips to cheryl’s, both hands moving the collar around her neck and buckling it into place as her lips move languidly against cheryl’s in a soft kiss. 

 

she pulls away, looking into cheryl’s eyes as the girl stares back with a smile, dropping her hair over the back of her neck to hide the buckle. 

 

she swallows, relishing in the lambskin rubbing against her neck as toni grips her hands and lifts them to her lips to kiss her knuckles.

 

“you’re so beautiful, baby…” she breathes, nothing but awe shining in her eyes as they trail over cheryl’s face, chocolate brown eyes and full red lips, down to the collar around her neck that she just placed there.

 

“i can’t wait to hear you say that out in the open.” cheryl whispers back, biting down on her lower lip to stop herself from smiling before she squeezes toni’s hands and exhales deeply.

 

no more procrastinating. time to do this before the rain starts…

 

“let’s go.” cheryl lets go of toni’s hand and grabs her purse, exiting the car with a click of her heels on the asphalt as she pulls a cigarette out of the pack in her purse and her lighter, flicking the wheel and smiling around the cigarette between her lips as it burns cherry red. 

 

she takes a few steps forward, puffing anxiously on the little cancer stick before she feels gentle fingers brush down her forearm.

 

it’s strange, how the weight of toni’s fingers interlacing with her own somehow also lifts the weight off her chest. toni squeezes her hand supportively, and cheryl turns to face her to see her smiling softly, her body leaning in to cheryl’s as the girl takes a deep breath in and begins walking toward the double doors up the flight of stairs.

 

almost immediately, like a heat seeking missle, the eyes belonging to those hanging around the stairs are drawn to the new mix and mash of pink and red, cheryl wearing a red dress with her spider brooch pinned to her chest and black heels making her announcement loud, toni with her pink hair flowing in soft curls and braids, her black leather serpent jacket, her ripped denim jeans and combat boots with a red flannel tied around her waist and a grey crop top on. 

 

she watches as each pair of eyes falls down to the intertwined skin of caramel and cream, mouths dropping open and some simply looking on in confusion, as if not quite sure what the gesture means.

 

like handholding isn’t a mark of at least friendship…

 

friendship? hmm, that won’t do.

 

cheryl pulls toni closer before she’s leaning down to press a kiss to her cheek, ruby red lips marking the brown skin, claiming it as her own as the pink haired girl giggles, from excitement or the action, she isn’t sure, before she takes the cigarette between cheryl’s fingers to take a drag.

 

more mouths dropping open in shock.

 

hmm, much better.

 

cheryl takes the cigarette back and pauses at the top of the stairs, grinning around the filter when toni wraps her arms around her waist and leans up to kiss her jawline, sticky lip gloss making it’s on mark on cheryl’s skin and confirming to all those watching that this isn’t two friends simply being intimate. 

 

whispers immediately begin echoing around them, but cheryl doesn’t even acknowledge them, too wrapped up in toni’s embrace as she holds the cigarette up to toni’s lips. the girl takes a drag, smirking at the two girls beside them who watch them in awe before she blows the smoke in their direction.

 

when the girls cough, cheryl laughs and finishes off the cigarette before she takes toni’s hand again and drags her toward the front doors.

 

“cheryl?” she stops short at the sound of her name, heart falling despite her happiness as she turns to see kevin keller making his way toward them with the most bewildered expression on his face.

 

he looks down at their intertwined hands before he scoffs and runs his fingers through his hair, but the grin that breaks out is unmistakable as he nods, clearly impressed.

 

“knew my gaydar wasn’t wrong.” he says with a chuckle. cheryl finds herself smiling widely as toni laughs and sticks a hand out to him.

 

“toni topaz.”

 

“kevin keller. nice to officially meet you, toni. i’m guessing this is, uh…” he trails off, taking toni’s hand and shaking it as cheryl hums and turns to kiss toni’s temple.

 

“a relationship? yes, kevin, it is. toni’s my girlfriend.” cheryl says firmly, relishing in the way her voice is clear despite how hard her heart is beating against her chest, but there’s no judgement from kevin, and she didn’t expect there to be.

 

he’s probably going to be their only ally in all of this. 

 

“well, i’ll be damned. congrats, cheryl.” he says with a laugh. toni smirks as cheryl smiles and gives him a simple nod, and his expression turns serious before he leans in and clears his throat.

 

“and if…if anyone gives you trouble, let me know. i can’t do much, but i can at least give you a shoulder to lean on.” he tells her firmly. cheryl feels the lump in her throat tighten, and she grips kevin’s shoulder, squeezing it before she smooths her hand up and down his arm.

 

“thank you, kevin.” she whispers, voice now trembling simply from kevin’s words of comfort, and he gives her a firm nod before he grins and nods to the door.

 

“go show the world you own it, bombshell.” he teases. toni laughs loudly as cheryl grins and squeezes her hand before squaring her shoulders and facing the door.

 

this is it.

 

she exhales before she pushes the doors open, and toni is right there by her side, close to her flank and squeezing her hand as she walks through the doors and observes the hallways before her.

 

eyes immediately move up to the sight before them, and some of them do a double take, eyes wide in complete and utter shock as cheryl blossom walks toward her locker hand in hand with a southside serpent. 

 

toni doesn’t leave her side even when they reach her locker, only letting go of her hand so she can put the combination in before she’s gripping it once more and leaning against the metal of the locker beside her, watching almost in fascination as cheryl pulls out her history book.

 

“oh, we have history first? cool.” toni says simply, causing cheryl to laugh with a roll of her eyes as she looks at toni in amusement.

 

“do you even look at our schedule?” 

 

“course i do, i was just distracted this whole weekend by the fact that i’ve nabbed the hottest girl on the southside as my girlfriend.” toni teases, grinning widely as cheryl licks her lips and contemplates what she’s about to do next.

 

_this will really confirm it, cheryl, are you- **fuck it.**_

 

she tucks a finger under toni’s chin before she leans in to kiss her, closing her eyes and blocking everything and everyone else out as she simply relishes in the feeling of toni’s full, chapped lips against her own. toni freezes in shock for just the briefest moment before she deepens the kiss and grips cheryl’s waist to pull her closer, nails digging into her skin through the material of her dress as cheryl’s other hand grips the lapel of her jacket, fisting it between her fingers.

 

toni pulls away a few moments later with a loud smack of her lips, eyes roaming over cheryl’s face with a smile as the redhead hums and brushes her thumb over toni’s lips to remove any residue of red lipstick. 

 

“uh…cheryl?” 

 

and there it is.

 

the voice she’s been dreading to hear, but the one she knew she inevitably would. 

 

she hears toni’s huff of annoyance behind her as she turns slowly, and toni moves to her side immediately, clutching her hand tightly as veronica lodge, josie mccoy and betty cooper look at her in what can only be described as numb inducing astonishment. 

 

veronica’s eyes fall on cheryl and toni’s intertwined hands, as do josie’s, and betty blinks rapidly with a frown, looking at cheryl in wonder as the red head exhales shakily and lifts her chin up high.

 

“yes, veronica?” she says, voice shaking despite how hard she tries to stay calm, to not tremble in fear at the judgement that’s shining in the three pairs of eyes before her.

 

“i…uh, we… _what?_ ” veronica splutters, laughing in disbelief as she gestures at their intertwined hands with wide eyes. cheryl has no idea what to say, but toni squeezes her hand and speaks for her, voice sharp and clear and filled with malice, almost like she’s challenging the three girls before her to say something she doesn’t like.

 

“we’re dating, lodge. i know you think i’m trash, and that’s fine, but it doesn’t change anything. i care about cheryl, and she cares about me. if you don’t like it, you can leave.” she says stiffly, steel in her tone as she nods her head to the side, gesturing for veronica to keep walking if her statement is true, and veronica’s expression turns stony before she looks at josie in disbelief. 

 

josie opens her mouth to say something, but the five minute warning bell rings loudly above them, causing cheryl to jump in surprise from the sound before toni’s tugging on her hand gently.

 

“come on, cher. we have history.” she mumbles. cheryl lets toni drag her along numbly, avoiding josie, veronica and betty’s gazes as toni leads them around the corner, stopping briefly at her locker to grab her own books. cheryl can see toni is shaking with anger, and it’s only confirmed when the girl rips her locker door open and grabs her book before slamming it shut with an enraged huff.

 

“toni…” cheryl’s voice is small, and she hates it. she doesn’t want toni to be upset about it, she should’ve said something to them-

 

“hey…it’s okay, cher-bear. you don’t need them, alright? screw those girls, if they seriously can’t accept that you’re happy, then they’re not your friends. you deserve so much better…” toni sighs in annoyance, her voice turning soft as she addresses cheryl and reaches a hand up to cup her cheek. cheryl leans into her touch with a shaky breath, closing her eyes to rid herself of the tears welling in them as she nods once. 

 

she doesn’t even know what she’s feeling right now, but with toni’s hand in her own, none of it matters. this is what she wants, this is what makes her _happy…_

 

and if her friends didn’t like it, they could rot for all she cares.

 

toni sits in the seat right beside her for history, whispers echoing around the classroom and glances thrown their way until mr. molina walks in to silence them, and cheryl’s trying so damn hard to ignore it all and to stop her heart from racing, but it’s _hard._

 

it feels like her father being exposed as jason’s murderer all over again. the judgemental stares and whispers, the way people look at her as if she’s grown a second head or something, and it’s a distraction the entire lesson, the small distance between her and toni too much for her to bear. she wants to reach out, to grab toni’s hand and hold it for comfort, but she settles instead for sinking back into her chair every once in a while and closing her eyes, fingers brushing over the collar on her neck to center herself once more. 

 

_it’s different this time, cheryl. this time you **have** someone. you have toni. and they’re talking about something that makes you **happy** , not something that breaks your heart and fills you with nothing but grief…_

 

mr. molina has his back turned, writing on the blackboard, and cheryl swallows thickly before she hears the sound of a chair scraping beside her. she turns to see toni inching closer to her, keeping an eye on mr. molina before she jumps out of her chair and kneels down beside cheryl, one hand resting on her thigh as the other rubs up and down her arm.

 

“are you okay, cher-bear?” she whispers, glancing back at mr. molina anxiously and ignoring the stares they get as cheryl blinks back her tears and nods slowly.

 

“i’m f-fine.” she croaks out. toni sighs, and she reluctantly pulls away just as mr. molina turns around, settling back into her seat before he notices anything. 

 

the rest of the class is torture, and she can see toni itching to get back to her side, her foot tapping on the ground as she continuously throws glances at cheryl with worry. cheryl focuses on the collar, on taking deep breaths in and out, and as soon as the bell rings, toni’s out of her seat and kneeling by her side as everyone else slowly begins gathering their things.

 

“alright class, have a good rest of the day!” 

 

mr. molina notices toni crouched down beside cheryl, and he frowns before he makes his way over to them, but toni simply smiles up at him and shakes her head.

 

“i’ve got her, mr. molina, don’t worry.” she assures him. cheryl’s thankful for toni stopping him, because she’s not sure she’ll be able to take any worried authority figures hovering over her like they did for so many months after jason’s death, and mr. molina frowns before he nods once and exits the classroom, leaving cheryl and toni alone in the empty room.

 

cheryl swallows thickly as toni sighs and stands up, taking cheryl’s hand and pulling her up out of her chair onto shaky legs before she’s collapsing into her own and pulling cheryl down onto her lap, hugging her close and rubbing calming circles into her lower back as she does. 

 

“cher, baby, don’t wig out about those girls-.”

 

“it’s n-not that, toni, it’s…this is just l-like last time, j-just like when my d-dad was revealed as jason’s m-murderer-.” cheryl begins sobbing before she can stop herself, and she throws her arms around toni’s neck and buries her face into her hair, thick tears streaming down her face as toni coos softly and hugs her close.

 

“shh, baby, it’s okay…i’m here, okay? i’m here, cher-bear, shh…” 

 

cheryl tries to calm herself down quickly so they can get to their next class, but she has biology, a class she doesn’t share with toni, and the thought of being without her in this moment when she’s vulnerable as her heart racing with anxiety even more.

 

“cher, they don’t matter, okay? these assholes will look for anything to gossip about, but it doesn’t matter, because you’re happy. _we’re_ happy, baby, that’s what matters. nothing else…shh, i know it hurts to go through something like this again, i’m so sorry-.”

 

cheryl shakes her head and pulls away from toni’s neck to grip her face and kiss her, lips insistent as toni kisses her back just as fiercely. they pull away after a moment, resting their foreheads against one another and breathing deeply before toni sighs and reaches into her pocket to pull out her phone.

 

“come on, we’re gonna go hang out behind the bleachers and have a cigarette, okay? just keep breathing for me, cher-bear…” toni taps at the screen, but cheryl doesn’t pay any attention to it, just nods numbly as she pushes herself off of toni’s lap and takes her hand. toni grabs her bag and shoves her phone back into her pocket before she leads cheryl out of the classroom back into the empty hallways, leading her out toward the football field before she moves toward the bleachers. they hide from coach clayton and duck behind them, the rain slowly beginning to fall a little more rapidly now as cheryl shivers from the slight cold, her dress too thin and a little too high up on her thighs to provide her with any warmth. 

 

toni pulls a cigarette out of her pack and hands it to cheryl before pulling another one out and placing it between her lips. she pulls her lighter out, lighting her own and cheryl’s before she’s shrugging out of her serpent jacket and placing it over cheryl’s shoulders, rubbing them to provide her with more warmth. 

 

cheryl’s so touched by this simple action that she takes a drag from her cigarette before leaning into toni’s side, and the girl continues rubbing her arm up and down cheryl’s arms before they hear the sound of footsteps crunching on grass.

 

cheryl’s heart pounds against her chest anxiously before sweet pea and fangs reveal themselves, walking around the corner and frowning as they take in the sight before them.

 

“sup, tiny?” sweet pea asks with concern. toni sighs and pulls cheryl in closer to her as she watches the two boys with a sad smile.

 

“people are being assholes and making my girl anxious. i thought being in good company might make her feel better.” she murmurs. cheryl looks at toni with nothing but warmth spreading through her as toni gives her a toothy smile, and fangs chuckles before he ruffles the back of his hair and shrugs.

 

“if you want us to knock some heads together, red, just let us know.” he says with a grin. cheryl chokes on laughter, sniffing back her tears as sweet pea tugs the cigarette behind his ear out and lights it with a laugh.

 

“so you two are official now? everyone’s talking about it…told them to shut their mouths or they’d get my fist in their face.” he grunts, blowing the smoke from his mouth out as he winks at toni and cheryl. toni rolls her eyes with a scoff.

 

“yeah, we’re official, but i’ll handle any face punching, thanks-.”

 

“you’ll do no such thing, toni. i can handle it, it’s just…reminding me of a bad time.” cheryl croaks out, wiping away the tears from under her eyes before taking a drag from her cigarette. toni sighs and leans up to kiss her cheek affectionately.

 

“i know, baby…” she whispers. cheryl sags against her tiredly as sweet pea snorts and fangs raises an eyebrow with a smirk.

 

“‘baby’? you’re fucking whipped, tiny.” 

 

“shut your mouth, fangs!” toni growls. cheryl finds herself smiling fondly as toni kicks her leg out and connects with fangs’s thigh, the boy whining from the pain before toni rolls her eyes and kisses the back of cheryl’s hand, her gaze once again filled with nothing but adoration.

 

“everything’s gonna be okay, cher. i promise.” she whispers, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, and cheryl, for the first time in a long time, focuses solely on those words as she nods and smiles at the girl before her.

 

“i know, toni. with you by my side…i know.” she whispers back. toni smiles fondly, but the moment’s ruined as sweet pea lifts his hands and pretends to play a violin, making the noises with his mouth as toni glares at him angrily.

 

“i can’t take you fuckers anywhere, can i?!”

 

\-------------

 

the days get better.

 

the whispers and stares don’t fade at all, but with toni and by default, sweet pea and fangs by her side, cheryl finds it easier to handle than the first time. the stares don’t bother her as much when toni’s hand is in her own, clasping tightly as they walk through the hallways proudly on display…the whispers are barely acknowledged in her mind when toni’s own voice fills her ears, speaking words of comfort and praise at her beauty, inside and out.

 

the days get goddamn better.

 

and cheryl finds herself caring less and less about what anyone else thinks of her and her relationship.

 

it’s not all bad, either. some people actually smile at her encouragingly when they see her walking down the hallways hand in hand with toni, kevin amongst them, the boy beaming at his new favorite gay power couple every time he sees them. archie andrews is also surprisingly amongst those who are supportive, grinning at cheryl and congratulating her on finding happiness despite all her sadness. 

 

“you deserve it, cheryl.” he had told her, laughing when cheryl had stared at him in shock before she had smiled at him and thanked him. 

 

veronica, josie and betty don’t exactly avoid her…it’s more cheryl that avoids them. every time she sees one of them around the corner, she turns back around and walks in the other direction, and as much as it had thrown toni off the first few times, she eventually understood why and followed suite without question. 

 

jughead had apparently given her a hard time about it too, asking toni how and when this relationship had even begun to form without him knowing, and when toni had simply given him the middle finger in response, he had glared at her before stalking away, and he hasn’t spoken to her since.

 

“like i care, i actually prefer him not talking to me.” toni had scoffed while cheryl had laughed, the both of the curled up in cheryl’s bed on wednesday night after a day of talking about both of their emotions regarding all of this.

 

it’s part of the reason why cheryl no longer cares about any of the staring and whispers. that wednesday had been nothing but healing as toni had held her close and told her that cheryl’s happiness is what matters more than anything. 

 

“you really need to get into that mindset, cher-bear. that nothing else matters but what makes you _happy._ and if that’s me, then who cares what anyone else thinks or says? they can’t touch what we have unless you let them, okay?”

 

that last sentence had sparked something in cheryl, something that had her now pushing through the hallways of riverdale high for the first time on her own, this time no longer ignoring any of the stares or whispers. 

 

this time she stares back, like she has been all day, smirking widely as each person averted their gaze with expressions of fear or wonder as she comes to a stop at her locker and breathes in deeply. 

 

toni was right. they had something special, and cheryl wasn’t going to allow these troglodytes to affect them or her. 

 

she stares down at the message toni had sent her just seconds ago, telling her she was staying behind in photography to ask miss richards for advice on her assessment, and cheryl had simply sent one back telling her she’d be at her car waiting for her. cheryl had picked her up from the trailer park this morning after her bike had failed to start-

 

“cheryl?” she grips her locker door between her fingers with a sigh, turning until she comes face to face with none other than josie mccoy.

 

josie stares at her with what looks like a warm smile, but cheryl suspects it's anything but as she steps closer to the red head, who slams her locker shut pointedly before she turns to face the girl with a somewhat tight smile.

 

“yes, josie?” she sighs, picking at the dirt beneath her nails before she finally looks up at the girl with a raised eyebrow. she has no idea what josie wants, and despite her racing heart, she doesn’t care what josie has to say.

 

_“they can’t touch what we have unless you let them, okay?”_

 

“where’s your shadow?” josie asks somewhat apprehensively, her nervousness giving her away as she glances quickly behind cheryl like she’s expecting toni to pop up from behind her and punch her in the face. the begrudging part of cheryl wishes she would.

 

“she stayed behind in her photography class for advice on her assessment.” she says simply, grabbing her purse and hooking it onto her shoulder as she shuts it firmly. josie lets out a sigh of relief beside her, and cheryl rolls her eyes and scoffs before she goes to walk away.

 

she doesn’t want to deal with this-

 

“wait, cheryl!” josie reaches out, gripping her wrist and tugging her back lightly, and cheryl whips around to face her, glaring at her angrily as josie lets her go and wrings her hands nervously, clearly contemplating what she wants to say.

 

“cheryl, look, i…girl, you know i love you and i care about you, that’s why this whole thing is just so…weird.” josie says, biting down on her lower lip anxiously as cheryl crosses her arms over her chest and raises an eyebrow, her heart beating erratically at those words.

 

weird? josie found her relationship with toni _weird?_ it was weird for her, to see cheryl with a girl? is that what she's trying to say?

 

“why is it weird, josie? because toni’s a girl?” cheryl says through slightly clenched teeth, anger beginning to boil within her at this sudden burst of homophobia from someone she's always considered a close friend, and josie’s eyes widen in shock before she shakes her head furiously.

 

“what? no, cheryl, of course not! that…she’s a _southside serpent,_ cheryl! after everything we’ve heard about them, the drug dealing and the violence and the wars with that other gang…you think it’s smart to just start _dating_ one?” josie says, laughing slightly in disbelief and looking at cheryl in desperation for her to listen, but all cheryl can hear is the faint whistling in her ears of anger.

 

_god, she’s so hypocritical-_

 

“you’re acting like you didn’t have your tongue shoved down sweet pea’s throat at chuck clayton’s party, josie.” cheryl growls slightly, her nails digging into her bicep as she begs silently for toni to just show up and save her from this conversation. 

 

“that’s different, cheryl! i kissed him _once_ , i’m not dating him!” she exclaims. cheryl’s face feels flushed, that anger truly thriving now as she bares her teeth and glares at josie with as much venom as she can muster.

 

“would you and veronica and everyone else in this _goddamn_ town get over this whole bullshit you have against the southside!? they’ve never done anything bad on the northside, they keep everything there, so why does it even bother you?! you don’t know toni as a person, josie, you can’t even be bothered to actually _get_ to know her! besides, i don’t remember anyone having this conversation with betty when she started dating jughead!” she barks, tightening her grip on her purse as josie splutters over her next words.

 

“i…that’s…it’s not the same-.”

 

“why, josie?! jughead’s from the southside, he’s the goddamn serpent leader’s son! how is it not the same? because toni’s a girl, right?!” cheryl screams, unable to stop herself from doing so as the few stragglers still in the hallways stare at them in shock. 

 

hot tears are beginning to build in her eyes, but she refuses to let them fall. she won’t give josie the satisfaction of being responsible for them. 

 

“cheryl, that’s not-.”

 

cheryl doesn’t let her finish her sentence. she turns and storms off with a huff, heels clacking on the linoleum loudly as josie shouts for her to stop, but she doesn’t. she bursts through the double doors, almost tumbling down the stairs with her speed to put as much distance between herself and josie mccoy as possible, and when she sees a flash of pink hair, she lets out a groan of relief and picks up her speed. toni’s smile quickly fades at the look on her face, eyes wide before she’s frowning with concern and tossing her half done cigarette, blowing the smoke out and reaching for cheryl’s hand.

 

“cher-bear? what-.” cheryl grabs her face and crashes their lips together, moaning into the pink haired serpent’s mouth as toni stumbles slightly from the force of impact, and when cheryl pulls away, toni looks up at her with a slightly dazed expression on her face.

 

“let’s get out of here, toni. let’s go back to yours.” cheryl breathes against her lips, her heart racing at a million miles an hour as toni simply nods against her before pulling away. cheryl sees the double doors open, sees josie, veronica and betty watching her with concern as she jumps into her car and shoves the keys into the ignition, barely giving toni any time to get into the passenger seat before she’s peeling out of the parking lot at top speed. 

 

“whoa, cher, did something happen-.”

 

“no. i just want to be alone with you, that’s all.” cheryl says hurriedly, not wanting to tell toni what josie just said for fear that the southside serpent girl might actually attack her former best friend because of it.

 

she knows deep down that it wasn’t because toni was a girl, but the inherent fear that deep down, she might be severely wrong is what keeps her foot on the accelerator, speeding toward the southside with toni watching her carefully from the corner of her eye.

 

“cheryl, is there a reason why we’re going back to mine and not thistlehouse?” toni asks with a frown. cheryl simply exhales shakily, thankful for the distraction as she shrugs.

 

“we’re always at my place. and besides, you have no transport back to the trailer park because of your bike, and i know you have work tomorrow. why keep driving back and forth between thistlehouse and the trailer park when we can just stay there?” cheryl says firmly despite the fact that that wasn't her plan at all, she just didn't want to go back to thistlehouse and it's cold walls and ghosts of dead twin brothers and abusive fathers past. toni chuckles as she sinks back into the passenger seat with a purse of her lips.

 

“alright, fair enough. but my trailer is no thistlehouse, cher-bear. it’s a dump.” 

 

“you could live in a trash can, toni, as long as it’s your home, i’ll love it.” cheryl says simply, reaching over the console to grip toni’s hand in her own. toni smiles fondly, her thumb brushing over the back of cheryl’s hand soothingly as her face contorts into one of pride.

 

toni makes idle conversation, telling cheryl that her bike should be fine by tomorrow as long as sweet pea was able to fix it tonight, and cheryl tries her best to focus on the sound of toni’s voice to rid herself of the angry buzzing filling up her ears. that anger is still inside her over what josie said, and she’s trying so hard to just get over it, but she can’t.

 

why were they so worried about reputation, cheryl doesn’t get it, doesn’t understand it, couldn’t they see that cheryl was _happy?_ if they really cared about her, they’d want her to do what makes her happy…

 

_isn’t it obvious, cheryl? they don’t care about you. but it doesn’t matter, because you’ve got the world’s hottest girlfriend right beside you that **does.**_

 

cheryl smiles to herself and licks her lips as she pulls into the trailer park, making her way straight to the back near the neck of trees where toni’s trailer is.

 

the trailer park is a lot more crowded than it was when cheryl first came here, anxiety quickly building inside her as she notices the eyes that stare at her car in appreciation.

 

“don’t worry, as soon as they see it parked next to my trailer, they won’t mess with it.” toni reassures her with a chuckle. cheryl cocks an eyebrow at her before she nods once. she knows toni is a big deal with the serpents, toni had told her that the topaz family were one of the original owners of this land and were the ones who founded the southside serpents. she was practically royalty to this gang, but still…

 

this car was jason’s, she doesn’t want anything to happen to it.

 

she parks it behind toni’s trailer instead, the pink haired girl staring at her in amusement, but not commenting on it as cheryl pulls the handbrake up and puts it into park. they both get out, grabbing their bags from the foothold as toni moves around the car to grip her hand, interlacing their fingers gently.

 

“it’s a little messy, but it’s not my fault. sweet pea stays over some nights when his dad pisses him off and he’s a complete slob.” she grumbles, moving around the trailer with cheryl close behind her, heels digging into the dirt as they make their way up the small steps to her door. toni fishes for her keys in her bag before she sticks them into the lock and twists the key, shoving the door open with a huff as cheryl chuckles and follows her inside.

 

it’s small, a living room off to the right with a tv that’s barely bigger than a cardboard box in the corner resting on a fold out table. there’s a brown couch that looks like it’s from the seventies, old and musty, and the carpet looks equally so as it cuts off into tiles moving into the kitchen to the left. there’s a half wall cutting the living room off from the kitchen, a fridge resting against said halfway as a countertop snakes around the half wall to the back wall of the trailer. there’s a simple round dining table with two chairs on the side of the trailer closest to them to the left in the kitchen, and on the right of that is a hallway that cheryl has no doubt leads to a bathroom and toni’s bedroom. 

 

“it’s not much…” toni sighs, looking at cheryl shyly as she looks around the trailer with a fond smile.

 

“it’s a home, toni.” she murmurs, taking in the scratch marks on the half wall that have toni’s name going up it, marking her height from what must’ve been a young age. 

 

little toni topaz once stood against the wall, marking it with pen and smiling every time she scored just a quarter inch of height...

 

she steps forward to brush her fingers over it fondly, smiling as toni moves to the fridge and opens it with a frown.

 

“so…i’ve got leftover pizza that’s sweet pea’s, and strawberries that are mine…not the best combination, but at least it’s something.” she chuckles, pulling a plate topped up with slices of pizza out of the fridge and closing it before she opens the door of a microwave in the corner of the countertop, shoving the plate into it and nuking the pizza on high. 

 

“water?”

 

“please.”

 

toni smiles and opens the fridge again, pulling out a plastic bottle and two cups from the cupboards above the countertop before pouring the contents into both glasses. she hands cheryl one before sipping her own, smiling around the rim of the glass as cheryl leans against the wall and runs her fingers up and down the glass, rubbing off the condensation absentmindedly.

 

“are you sure nothing’s wrong, cher-bear?” toni asks softly, resting her glass on the countertop and making her way toward the red head, the sound of the pizza cooking in the microwave the only thing echoing out as cheryl sighs and simply shakes her head.

 

she can’t keep it from her…

 

“josie and i had a confrontation. she said our relationship is ‘weird’, and i asked her if it was because you were a girl. she told me it wasn’t, but i was just so…so angry at her for not even thinking of getting to know you or seeing how right you are for me, toni. it just proves to me that they don’t really care about me, they just care about what other people think of me…” cheryl trails off, swallowing thickly to hold back her tears as toni sighs and moves closer to wrap her arms around cheryl’s waist tightly.

 

“i’m sorry, cher…i’m sorry you’ve been dealt all the shitty fucking cards in life…shitty family, shitty friends-.”

 

“this isn’t shit, toni. our relationship…it’s the one thing in my life that isn’t shit, and i’d rather live in that than focus my energy on the shit things. so can we not talk about this and just… _be_ with each other?” cheryl sighs, running her free hand up and down toni’s back as the girl hums before she nods with a soft smile.

 

“okay. we can do that, cher-bear.” cheryl sighs in relief and leans down to press a kiss to her lips before the microwave begins beeping loudly. toni pulls away from cheryl and pulls the plate out, hissing slightly at the heat coming off it before she rests it on the counter top and takes a slice, sinking her teeth into it before she walks back to cheryl and holds it up to her mouth. cheryl smiles and takes a bite, wincing slightly at the burn on her tongue as toni swallows the food in her mouth and presses a greasy kiss to the corner of cheryl’s mouth.

 

“come on, let’s eat and watch something on netflix.” 

 

they end up half watching a movie, half talking throughout it, giggling at the silly action sequences before discussing the crazy week they’ve just been through at school. cheryl’s so thankful it’s the weekend, is looking forward to maybe even spending it here with toni at her trailer, although she knows toni has to work tomorrow at the bar…

 

maybe she really can stay, though…be a nice surprise for the girl to come home to after a long shift at work…

 

she’s about to broach the topic to toni when she notices the girl staring at her, teeth caught between her bottom lip to stop herself from smiling as cheryl cocks an eyebrow at her in amusement. 

 

she _knows_ what that look means.

 

“fingers no longer sore, i see…” she purrs, immediately inching closer to her girlfriend as toni chuckles and licks her lips.

 

“they are, actually. seriously, cher, those hips of yours go wild when you lose control.” cheryl grins as she swings a leg over toni until she’s straddling the pink haired girl, hands resting on her shoulders as her backside rests on her thighs.

 

“if it makes you feel any better, i only lose control because of you, t.t.” she whispers seductively, but it doesn’t exactly have the desired effect, because toni’s eyes widen as she grips cheryl’s waist and looks up at her with a wide smile.

 

“ah, so we’ve graduated to calling me ‘t.t.’ in person now, huh? you’ve only ever said that in text.” she teases. cheryl rolls her eyes before she leans down to kiss toni’s lips softly, lifting her butt off toni’s thighs and pushing herself as close as possible to the girl. toni hums against her, wrapping her arms around her and pulling her impossibly closer before she pulls back with a sigh.

 

“seriously though, cher, my fingers are still not at a hundred percent, and i have a bar to tend tomorrow…” she grumbles, looking up at cheryl apologetically, and cheryl sags in defeat in toni’s arms with a pout.

 

they haven’t had sex since sunday, cheryl’s feeling well and truly rested and recovered now, but still…toni has a point, and cheryl doesn’t want the girl to hurt herself.

 

“okay, t.t. it’s fine, we can wait another day or two-.”

 

“or…i have another idea in mind.” toni hums suddenly, her eyes filling with excitement as her teeth nip at cheryl’s bottom lip, her hand moving up to snake around the back of cheryl’s neck, brushing against the buckle of her collar. cheryl grips her wrist just as her thumb brushes under the collar to press into her pulse point, cheryl’s breath immediately hitching at the action as she bites down on her bottom lip.

 

“like what? just using your mouth?” cheryl can’t help how her voice shakes, the thought of toni going down on her for _hours_ making her center pound and throb with need after almost a week of neglect, and toni smirks before she licks her lips and looks into cheryl’s eyes with a small shake of her head.

 

“no…but i can if you want me to.” she says, shrugging slightly as cheryl’s eyes flutter closed the more she presses on her pulse point. cheryl rocks her hips down, pulling a whimper from toni’s throat as she chases after toni’s lips with her own. 

 

“i wanna hear your idea first.” she breathes, finally encapsulating toni’s full lips with her own, red lipstick and gloss making it’s mark on both of them as toni lets go of her neck and moves her hands around cheryl’s backside to squeeze a greedy handful of the flesh. cheryl moans into her mouth, causing toni to pull back as she looks up at cheryl with a smirk on her lips, but awe in her eyes.

 

“you can say no, cher-bear, i don’t want you to feel pressured-.”

 

“just tell me, t.t.” cheryl whines impatiently, rocking her hips down onto toni’s again, but toni looks up at her with a raised eyebrow, the hands on her ass squeezing again in reprimand just a little harder than before and causing cheryl to gasp as she looks into toni’s eyes apologetically.

 

“i’m sorry, toni, i didn’t mean to interrupt you. but whatever it is, i wanna try it if _you_ do.” cheryl says firmly, smiling as toni chuckles and smooths one hand under her blue shirt to scratch at the skin over her spine lightly.

 

“it’s okay, cher-bear. but this thing…it’s something you’ve never done before, i know that for sure. and it might hurt, that’s why i wanna make sure first. if you don’t want to do this, you tell me and we’ll do something else, it’s not an issue, alright?” cheryl nods once to show she understand, and toni takes a deep breath in before she licks her lips and looks into cheryl’s eyes once more.

 

“it’s better if i show you. come on.” toni taps cheryl’s backside lightly to get her to move off her, and cheryl reluctantly does so, sighing as toni stands up and grips her hand before shutting the tv off. she leads cheryl out of the living room and through the kitchen into the hallway. cheryl sees a door to the left that toni simply points a thumb at and mutters ‘bathroom’, before she’s leading cheryl through the door straight in front of them.

 

as expected, it leads to toni’s bedroom, cheryl’s eyes widening as she takes in the sight around her. 

 

there’s a double bed pushed up against the back wall, two bedside tables with a lamp resting on one and a dresser to the far left of her against the trailer wall. there’s photos tacked to the walls, of sweet pea and fangs, of toni herself, of just random sights around what looks like riverdale…cheryl knows toni has an affinity for photography, but _this…_

 

her photos are everywhere, not an inch of wallpaper not covered by a photo of toni’s as cheryl steps further into the room, her eyes landing on the mirror in the far right corner of the room before they land on the guitar in the far left. there’s the faint smell of alcohol in the air, cheryl’s noise wrinkling as toni drops her hand and moves over to the dresser. 

 

“you can sit if you want.” toni says, nodding to her bed with a smile as cheryl licks her lips before she steps out of her high heels and sinks down onto the bed. the mattress is worn, nowhere near as soft as the one cheryl has at thistlehouse, but she doesn’t mind all that much as toni rifles through her drawers before she makes a noise of triumph.

 

she turns to face cheryl, her cheeks flushed as she hides something behind her back and bites down on her bottom lip to stop herself from grinning. 

 

“remember, you can say no!” she reiterates, pointing a finger at the red head. cheryl rolls her eyes and waits patiently before toni exhales shakily and pulls what looks like a harness and-

 

_oh._

 

cheryl just _stares_ at it, the black color of the silicone and the harness, unable to really do much as else as her mind begins spinning and her heart begins racing. 

 

toni, obviously, takes it as a bad sign and turns back around to shove it into the drawer once more.

 

“you’re right, this was stupid, forget-.”

 

“no, wait! i…” cheryl jumps up from the bed, making her way over to toni with her lip caught between her teeth as she stares down at the object in her hands. 

 

this was…different. 

 

cheryl hesitates, looking up into toni’s eyes and seeing nothing but eagerness shining in them. she _really_ wants to do this, and cheryl can’t even dream of denying her the chance to, and even she has to admit, she kind of wants to try it even if she’s really fucking nervous at the prospect of that _thing_ entering her-

 

“we don’t have to, cher-bear, i was just making a suggestion-.”

 

“let’s do it.” cheryl breaths, looking up into toni’s eyes and seeing the shock that quickly turns to excitement as her throat bobs, a light gasp escaping her afterwards.

 

_that right there? that's why it's worth it..._

 

“are you sure? i don’t want you to do this just for me-.” cheryl grips her face, kissing her soundly before she pulls away too quickly for toni to respond, lips curling into a smile as she replies.

 

“i wanna try it. if i don’t like it, we can stop, right?” cheryl asks shyly, even though she knows the answer, and of course, toni’s eyes widen before she nods furiously, gripping cheryl’s waist tightly.

 

“yeah, one hundred percent! this is about _you_ being comfortable, cher.” she says softly with a smile. cheryl licks her lips before she nods and pulls away from toni slowly, reaching for the hem of her shirt and pulling it up and over her head.

 

“i’m always comfortable with you, toni. she reaches behind her back for the clip of her bra, but toni surges forward, dropping the harness and the dildo on top of the dresser before she grips cheryl’s wrist to stop her, hooking a finger into her collar to pull her down for a kiss as she reaches behind her back, fingers softly grazing her skin. cheryl melts into her touch, all her anxiety just seemingly fading as toni unhooks her bra and slowly peels it down her arms, flinging it on top of the dresser where it lands next to the harness. 

 

cheryl giggles at the sight of it before toni suddenly begins layering her skin with kiss after kiss, moving from the column of her throat down to her collarbones as her right hand moves to pinch a taut nipple between her fingers.

 

cheryl arches into her touch, moaning softly before toni’s hands move down to the button of her jeans. she unhooks it before pulling the zipper down and sinking to her knees, tugging the denim down impatiently. cheryl grips her shoulder to help steady herself as she eases out of her jeans, and as soon as they’re off, toni’s pushing her back until her knees hit the mattress and she falls onto her back. she lets out only the smallest squeak of surprise at the action before toni’s moving between her legs and attacking her lips feverishly, moaning against the red haired girl as her fingers dip into her underwear to tug them down by the hem gently. she sinks lower down cheryl’s body, pulling her underwear down her long, alabaster thighs before she’s slingshotting them toward the dresser as well, where they surprisingly land on top of her bra with no issue.

 

“i’m gonna use my mouth first, cher…get you nice and ready, alright, baby?” toni says, smoothing a hand over cheryl’s stomach and pushing her down onto the bed until she’s looking up at a cream colored ceiling with multiple cracks in it. she bites down on her bottom lip and nods once before toni licks up the length of her, moaning at the taste that drips off her tongue from how _wet_ cheryl is already.

 

“so quickly? what have you been thinking about all day?” toni chuckles, moving her tongue in broad strokes up and down cheryl’s slit languidly as the girl bucks her hips up into toni’s mouth.

 

“you, mostly.” cheryl breathes, back arching off the bed when toni finally wraps her lips around her clit and sucks softly. she pushes cheryl’s hips back down onto the bed, wrapping her arms around her thighs to keep her in place as her tongue suddenly moves lower toward her entrance-

 

the hand around her thigh inches closer to where her mouth is before she’s rubbing circles over cheryl’s clit, her tongue sliding in and out of her and brushing across her frontal wall, but not long enough to hit her spot, leaving cheryl a gasping, heavy mess as she’s left on the cusp of orgasm within _minutes._

 

god, toni is fucking _good_ at this…

 

she’s worried she’s going to soak the goddamn sheets, but toni doesn’t seem to mind, only continues moving her tongue inside her before she’s moving her hand away and pulling away from cheryl slowly, her bottom lip and chin covered in cheryl’s arousal, which she quickly licks off with a wink as cheryl props herself onto her elbows and watches her in complete and utter awe.

 

“toni, i…”

 

“shh…” toni leans in, kissing her and smiling as cheryl moans at the taste of herself, and she rests a hand on cheryl’s shoulder and pushes her back onto the bed slowly.

 

“stay there, don’t move. no peeking…in fact…” toni grips cheryl’s wrist suddenly before she’s pushing it down to rest between cheryl’s legs, and cheryl looks up at her in surprise as toni licks her lips and nods slowly against her.

 

“touch yourself while i get ready, baby.” toni whispers. cheryl whines, whimpering as toni draws back from her, and she stays true to her word, doesn’t move an inch off the bed as she begins drawing circles into her clit, her hips grinding down into the mattress as she bites back moan after moan-

 

“don’t get yourself off, cheryl. that’s my job.” toni says sternly from somewhere in front of her, the sound of her fiddling with the harness echoing around the trailer, and she keeps her eyes on the ceiling as she slows her hand down with instant regret, her body throbbing with the need for release. she can fucking feel herself gushing between her fingers with each rub of her fingers, her skin flushed and her body hot before, after what feels like a goddamn lifetime, she feels fingers wrap around her wrist to pull her hand away from her center.

 

toni hovers above her, naked except for her bra as she rests her hands on either side of cheryl’s head. she lifts cheryl’s drenched hand up to her lips, sucking the arousal off them with a loud moan that has cheryl’s entire body fucking writhing underneath her, desperate for toni’s skin to press against her own, desperate for whatever she has planned to fulfil the number one wish she has right now, to _fucking come._

 

toni finishes cleaning off her fingers, lips wrapping around her middle fingers and sliding it down before she releases it with a loud pop and gives cheryl a wink. she leans down to kiss her, and cheryl responds eagerly before she feels something cold touch her thigh-

 

“you ready?” toni doesn’t even wait for her answer before her hand is moving through cheryl’s slit, gathering up more of her before she’s chuckling and licking that off her fingers as well.

 

“mmm, more than ready. look at me, cher-bear…” toni leans down to kiss her neck before she’s making eye contact with cheryl, who arches up into her touch in an attempt to get the girl as close to her as possible. god, her heart is thundering so loudly in her ears right now...

 

toni smiles and kisses her lips before she whispers against them softly.

 

“deep breath, baby.” she whispers. cheryl purses her lips before she does as she’s told, sucking in a deep breath with a racing heart and trembling hands before she feels something nudging at her entrance.

 

her first instinct is to pull away, but she forces herself not to as she fists the sheets between her fingers and lets toni get adjusted before the thick tip of the toy pops into her opening.

 

cheryl has no idea how thick that thing is, but it’s stretching cheryl out in all the right fucking ways, only the slightest twinge of pain causing the girl to groan loudly as she digs her nails into toni’s shoulders in pleasure. toni bites down on her neck before she pushes in just a little deeper, watching cheryl’s face carefully for any signs of distress.

 

“cher, talk to me-.”

 

“deeper, god! go _deeper!_ ” cheryl begs, moving her hips up on her own accord and moaning in pleasure as her frontal walls flutter around the intrusion deliciously. god, she didn't think she would like this at all, thought it would hurt too much or just be too weird for her to enjoy, but she's fucking thriving right now, the stretch and the _fullness_ making her writhe in pleasure as toni uses her hand to move over cheryl’s clit, rubbing it a little to get more pleasure pounding through her, and once she’s done she sinks in a little deeper until her hips are flush with cheryl’s and-

 

“holy _fuck!_ ” 

 

the toy hits her g-spot and cheryl feels like, for just a brief second, everything turns _white._

 

she gasps, eyes flying open and gripping the back of toni’s neck as the girl slowly moves her hips out and moves them back in, the same process repeating once more while cheryl simply sits there and basks in each thrust from toni’s hips. 

 

never, ever in her entire life, as she been interested in anything close to _this_ , has avoided men like the plague in order to stay away from anything phallic coming near her, but toni…

 

_god, toni…_

 

she apparently says those two words out loud without noticing it, her mind in a completely different alternate reality with how good she feels right now-

 

“is it good?” toni whispers, watching cheryl’s face carefully as the girl gasps at a particularly hard thrust that leaves her feeling dizzy.

 

“y-yes! i…” cheryl doesn’t even have words, can barely breathe or function right now as her grip around the back of toni's neck tightens, her lips parted to draw in wheezing breaths when toni catches her earlobe between her teeth and tugs on it.

 

“god, you’re so fucking hot right now…” she moans, the words making cheryl shudder from where she’s trapped beneath toni’s body and the mattress. the girl moves her hips in a little harder, but as soon as she does, she pulls back to look at cheryl’s face for any signs of pain, and truthfully…

 

it’s throwing toni off, she can tell. she’s so focused on making her girl feel good that she’s just not _letting go._

 

cheryl’s having none of that.

 

“wait, s-stop…” cheryl breathes, and toni, bless her, immediately goes still, eyes wide and looking at cheryl in panic as she slowly begins sliding out of cheryl.

 

“did i hurt you? fuck, i’m so sorry, cher-.”

 

“no, you didn’t hurt me, t.t., i just…” cheryl contemplates her next words, whining when toni pulls out of her completely, and she doesn’t want toni to be put off by what she says even though the girl told her this morning that she wanted to be more dominant...

 

she licks her lips and looks up into chocolate brown eyes before she says what she has to say.

 

“i want you to be rough again. to control everything, like you did on sunday…it felt so _good,_ following what you told me to do, obeying what you said…i want to leave this in your hands, t.t. your beautiful, more than capable hands…” she whispers, smiling affectionately up at toni and brushing the pads of her fingers over her cheekbone. toni smiles widely, takes a few moments to process her words before she’s biting down on her lower lip and nodding.

 

“okay. in that case…i have an idea that might make this more pleasurable for you.” cheryl raises an eyebrow, but toni says nothing as she leans down and suddenly begins mouthing one of cheryl’s nipples, lips wrapping around the perky bud and suckling softly as cheryl cries out and digs her fingers into toni’s hair from the pleasure, scratching at her scalp before teeth nip at the bud gently. she grabs cheryl’s hand and pulls her up until she’s sitting up, and cheryl’s eyes fall on the harness around her hips.

 

the sight makes her giggle just a little from how _strange_ it looks, but toni is too preoccupied leaning down to kiss cheryl deeply to notice before she pulls away and rests a hand on the back of cheryl’s shoulder blade.

 

“turn around.” she whispers seductively.

 

_oh, **fuck.**_

 

cheryl whimpers, but does as she’s told, slowly turning until she’s on her hands and knees on all fours in the middle of the mattress on top of the bed. she can feel the springs beneath her knees, and she grits her teeth and pushes herself to stay still, because god, does she _want this._

 

she remembers the last time they had sex in this positon, and _fuck_ , if it had been that amazing with just toni’s fingers…

 

toni smooths a hand down her spine, caressing her sweat soaked skin before she stands beside the bed and grips cheryl’s hips between her fingers, clutching tight enough to bruise the alabaster skin that can turn black and blue with just the slightest pinch-

 

“hold yourself up, baby…there you go.” she whispers, leaning down to press a kiss to cheryl’s lower back as the red head rests on her elbows and ducks her head between her hands, breathing in deeply to prepare herself for what’s about to happen.

 

the toy is lined up with her entrance one more before toni slowly pushes in, and the effect is fucking _immediate._

 

cheryl moans loudly, biting down on her bottom lip to stop herself from being too loud because this trailer is fucking small and the walls are probably paper thin beneath the metal-

 

the goddamn _fucking stretch-_

 

toni sinks in further, pushing her hips and grinning when cheryl’s back arches and another loud moan escapes her. 

 

“good?” toni asks simply, a hand smoothing over one of cheryl’s asscheeks as the girl dips her head between her hands and nods with a furious pant.

 

“yes! yes, p-please-.” toni doesn’t even let her finish her sentence before she’s sinking into her to the hilt, hips pressed against cheryl’s ass as the toy fills her up in every good way possible. toni gives her a few moments to adjust before she’s tightening her grip on cheryl’s hips and pulling out of her, and god, the drag of the fucking ridges against her inner walls is driving her absolutely fucking insane.

 

“f-faster! toni-.”

 

“shh, all in due time, sweetheart. just relax…” toni coos, her index finger trailing up and down cheryl’s spine as the girl shivers and tries to do as she’s told. she relaxes her hips into toni’s firm hold, lets her knees slide a little further apart as the pink haired girl slowly pushes back in, and god, it’s fucking _burning_ , the pit in her stomach, she can’t take this teasing much longer-

 

“god, you’re so beautiful…” toni croaks out, bending over cheryl’s body to sweep her hair from over her shoulder until it’s fanning across her back in red waves. the sight seems to spark something in toni, because she straightens up once more and begins moving faster, thrusting her hips in and out at a pace that has cheryl’s eyes rolling into the back of her head, soft whimpers escaping her lips and making her clench her hands into fists to stop her eyes from watering-

 

toni suddenly reaches around her waist with one hand and finds her clit, rubbing at it and causing cheryl to gasp and buck her hips backward involuntarily onto the toy currently moving inside her, and it just moves in impossibly deeper, making her thighs shake and her arms wobble as toni circles her clit again, causing the same reaction.

 

“t-toni-.” cheryl gasps out, biting down on her hand to stop herself from screaming, but toni is having _none_ of that.

 

“hands away from your mouth, cheryl, i…wanna hear…every…single…sound…” toni reiterates each word with a harsh thrust that drags through cheryl deliciously, leaving her gasping for air and moaning even louder as toni continues circling her clit to get her to buck backwards, the both of them working as a team to get cheryl to her climax. 

 

“the p-people-.” cheryl tries to get out, but she’s collapsing back into loud moans as toni increases her pace with a laugh.

 

“i don’t care if they hear us, baby, so be a good girl and let me hear you…”

 

if she weren’t so completely fucked out of her mind with arousal right now, she’d want to protest, but the reason of not wanting other serpents to hear them having sex sounds like a fucking lame excuse right now as she throws caution to the wind and lets out a soft cry and a groan of pleasure. 

 

toni’s pace only seems to increase with each passing minute until she’s hammering into cheryl at a breakneck pace, both girl’s bodies burning with the exertion as cheryl’s arms tremble from keeping her up, but she pushes through it, gritting her teeth and gasping with a loud moan when toni presses down on her clit harder and it’s all over.

 

she’s trembling, crying out loudly and pushing her hips back into toni to prolong her orgasm as toni struggles to even thrust anymore with how tightly cheryl is clenching around the toy. she stills inside her, gripping her hips and letting her do the works as she bucks back onto the toy a few more times before she’s collapsing forward a little, her head falling down onto her forearms with a soft whimper.

 

fuck, she can’t _move._

 

toni rubs a hand over her sweat soaked back to calm her down before she chuckles and leans down to kiss her spine.

 

“i’m gonna pull out now, cher.” she warns, and cheryl raises a hand and gives her a thumbs up, unable to speak or think or do _anything._ the gesture makes toni laugh loudly before she’s gripping cheryl’s hips again, the action causing the girl to hiss in pain at the bruises that are probably already marring her skin being pressed down on before toni slowly pulls out of her gently.

 

it stretches her out with each inch, her sensitive inner walls fluttering before the whole toy slides out of her, leaving her feeling empty and sore, but in such a good way that it has her simply collapsing onto toni’s bed in exhaustion.

 

"i'm gonna get you some water, baby, just relax..." toni whispers, running her fingers up and down cheryl's spine before leaning down to kiss her temple. she disappears for a few moments, cheryl almost mournful for the loss even though her absence is short. she returns with a fresh bottle in her hands, and she uncaps it and holds it out to cheryl, who pushes herself up with trembling hands and allows toni to raise the bottle to her lips. she drinks from it slowly before collapsing back onto the bed, and toni takes a few sips herself before she sets it on the bedside table.

 

“that…was fucking hot.” toni says, collapsing down beside cheryl with a heavy sigh. she’s on her back while cheryl’s on her stomach, and toni turns her face to look at her with a grin.

 

“did you like it?” she asks softly. cheryl simply blinks at her before she reaches a hand up to slap lazily at toni’s cheek with a breathless pant. 

 

“ow! what was that for?” toni laughs, moving her hand away and rubbing her cheek as cheryl drags herself closer to the pink haired girl with a groan of pain.

 

“i fucking loved it, but i can’t feel my body, bitch.” cheryl pants, her forehead landing on top of toni’s shoulder with a loud thunk. toni reaches a hand up and brushes her fingers through cheryl’s hair lazily.

 

“good, i plan on that happening every time we have sex. i want you feeling utterly and thoroughly fucked after every session, cher-bear. satisfied to the point where you can’t even feel your body.” she says with a grin, proud of herself for the way cheryl groans as she drags her body over toni’s stomach, her head resting awkwardly in the crook of her elbow, but toni doesn’t seem to mind. she runs her hand up and down cheryl’s spine as the girl blinks up at her tiredly.

 

“just you wait…when i wake up from this nap i really want to have right now, i’m using that thing on you.” cheryl breathes out, waving a finger at her as her eyelids begin to droop. toni laughs and cocks an eyebrow in amusement before she’s hooking a hand under cheryl’s arm to pull her up her body until she’s pressed against toni completely, her face buried into the crook of toni’s neck.

 

“hmm, maybe not the harness, but you can definitely use the toy. the harness is gonna take some practice to master, baby, but we’ve got time…plenty of it.” toni says fondly, running her fingers through cheryl’s hair as the red haired girl looks down at her with a small smile.

 

“mmm, i just wanna make you feel as good as you make me feel…” she murmurs, dropping a sloppy kiss to her collarbone as toni chuckles and tucks a finger under her chin to lift her gaze.

 

“you do that already, cher-bear, just by being around me and just by being _you._. but like i said, we’ve got time. all tonight and tomorrow till the evening, actually. so for now, you can have your nap, and i’ll be right here holding you through it.” she says, pressing a tender kiss to her lips before she’s resting them against cheryl’s brow and wrapping her arms round her.

 

cheryl hums in content, and it isn’t long at all until she finds herself drifting off to sleep, all traces of josie, veronica, betty, the students of riverdale high or anything else irking her erased from her mind.

 

all that matters is them.


	11. you're not alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol smut at the beginning, and then it just gets heartbreaking from there because i'm the worst. all aboard the train to angstville!
> 
> don't kill me pls.
> 
> leave comments letting me know what you think! or you can scream at me on twitter at @endofdaysforme, if there’s spelling errors I’m sorry I stayed up all night writing this 
> 
> tw for abuse and minor suicidal thoughts

“okay, and then this part goes…dammit-.”

 

“god, just come here, cher-bear.” 

 

the sound of toni’s laughter echoes around cheryl’s bedroom loudly, sending a ripple of pleasure and happiness up her spine despite the huff of frustration she lets out while fiddling with the straps around her hips.

 

no, she doesn’t need toni’s help, she can do this-

 

“you’re so stubborn, baby, you know asking for help isn’t a bad thing, right?” toni says suddenly, pulling cheryl’s attention away from the straps she’s gripping to look up at her with surprise. toni smiles fondly at her before she’s standing up from her position sitting on the bed, making her way over to cheryl slowly, and cheryl’s eyes are focused on nothing but her naked body, tongue sticking out to wet bare lips as she takes in toni’s full breasts, the curve of her waist down to rounded hips, soft skin that she’s positive she’ll never get sick of running her fingers over…

 

_she’s the most beautiful thing to ever grace this earth…and she’s here with **me.** how is that even possible? _

 

she swallows the lump in her throat as her eyes finally move up to meet toni’s, the pink haired girl reaching out to grip the harness around cheryl’s hips as she begins helping her tighten the straps with cheryl looking down at her in awe.

 

the last week has been…eventful. she had spent all last weekend at the trailer park either alone in the bedroom with toni or out having a cigarette with her, fangs and sweet pea, the four of them sticking to the back of her trailer to avoid the other serpents, particularly jughead jones.

 

“i don’t want him asking fifty questions or telling me i shouldn’t have brought you here.” toni had grumbled in explanation, and it left cheryl feeling a little guilty for all but demanding that they come back here, but most of all had her feeling angry, wanting to challenge jughead for being such a hypocrite about her when he was dating betty fucking cooper, the perfect northside girl next door.

 

she doesn’t know what jughead’s problem with their relationship is, nor does she care to know, and sweet pea and fangs are using it as an excuse to stay away from jughead as well, so at least it’s a benefit for all of them. she surprisingly got along with the boys quite well, joking around with them and laughing as they hung out in plastic chairs next to her car all saturday and sunday afternoon until toni had to start her shift at the whyte wyrm.

 

during her shifts, cheryl simply found herself looking at the photos on the wall in her bedroom, taking in every minute detail of each one in fascination. toni was a _talented_ photographer. each photo was so focused, so detailed and captured something that cheryl felt she couldn’t even begin to understand. they had spent sunday night wrapped up in each other’s arms on toni’s bed when cheryl had asked her, in apprehension and fear, if she could take some photos of her, and toni, with a wide grin, had grabbed her camera from her dresser and had spent over an hour taking photos of cheryl. 

 

since then, she hasn’t stopped.

 

every day at school, toni walked around with that camera looped around her neck, and every day, without fail, toni had taken at least ten photos of cheryl, stopping her with random shouts about how the lighting was perfect before she’d hold the camera up and capture cheryl mid-eye roll with a grin. 

 

“you’re my new inspiration, cher-bear. fuck, i swear i could take photos of you forever…” 

 

the staring and the whispers continued, but in those moments, cheryl really couldn’t find it in her to _care_ , not at all. here this girl was, calling her the muse to her creativity, photo after photo being captured of all the things toni found beautiful about her, why the hell would she be focusing on anything else but that?

 

she’d caught veronica, josie and betty watching her every once in a while, all three girls watching on with guilt heavy in their eyes, and cheryl knows she should probably stop being petty and give them a chance to talk, to try and sort things out, but truthfully, she’s enjoying just being alone with toni right now, and she can’t really find it in her heart to forgive them for being so…unaccepting of something that made her so happy.

 

she knows it’s not them being homophobic, of course it isn’t, but after being raised by homophobic parents, it’s hard not to think that every single person who looks at you and your girlfriend in disapproval are being exactly that. she knows they’re just worried about toni being a southside serpent, likely worried about cheryl getting involved in something gang related that could get her in trouble, but cheryl knows that’s never going to happen.

 

because even though toni has divulged her frustrations at the current leadership of the serpents to cheryl, she hasn’t told her a single thing about the jobs she does for them, keeping cheryl purposefully out of the loop for her own protection. it’s the one thing toni refuses to talk about with her, not because she doesn’t _want_ to talk to cheryl about it, but because she doesn’t want cheryl getting involved, which cheryl doesn’t mind in the slightest.

 

her girlfriend wasn’t just her girlfriend, she was her own person, and she had her own identity. cheryl wasn’t about to strip her of that, especially when they’ve only been properly dating for about two weeks now. 

 

it’s the only thing toni refuses to talk about with her, but everything else, toni is a goddamn open book, and it’s just so _different_ to what cheryl’s used to. the past eight or so weeks, getting to know toni and learning the ins and outs of this girl…

 

she’s falling in love with toni topaz. and god, maybe it’s happening all so quickly, and maybe it’s terrifying her and giving her heart palpitations at random moments during the day, but it’s so inevitable and so undeniable, cheryl doesn’t even see a point in trying to avoid it.

 

“i know, i just…you’ve made me feel so good with it this last week, toni. i just want to do the same to you.” she says with a shaky exhale, the nerves beginning to get to her as toni finishes fastening the straps with a wide grin.

 

cheryl’s not ashamed to admit that this has become her new favorite thing. the goddamn strap on currently wrapped around her hips has driven her to climax at least six times since last friday, and she knows she’s not the only one who enjoys it. the longing look in toni’s eyes has only been growing hungrier over the last week, and cheryl’s not about to deprive her any longer.

 

she may be inexperienced, but dammit, she’s a fast learner and she’s determined to make this work despite it. 

 

“i know, cher, but don’t put so much pressure on yourself, okay? sex with you is always fucking amazing, you don’t even have to try…it’s kind of annoying.” toni says with a chuckle, causing cheryl to raise an eyebrow at her and scoff.

 

“you’re acting like i don’t end up exhausted and unable to move every time you finish having your way with me, t.t. if sex with me to you is amazing, then sex with you to me is goddamn _earth-shattering._ ” 

 

toni’s smug expression only intensifies as she leans up onto the tips of her toes to kiss cheryl slowly, humming against her happily before she pulls away and wrinkles her nose at her playfully. she brushes her fingers over the many bruises littering cheryl’s collarbones and neck, biting down on her bottom lip with lust filled eyes before she grins wickedly up at her.

 

“you’re gonna have a lot of trouble covering up those bruises at school tomorrow.” she teases, leaning in to brush her lips over the black and blue skin. cheryl fights back a whimper, closes her eyes and forces herself to stay in control.

 

this was about toni, not her. 

 

“then i guess i have to get some form of payback, t.t. are you ready?” cheryl murmurs, cupping toni’s cheek and brushing her thumb over it before she leans down to place her lips to the other cheekbone, trailing kisses over the soft skin as toni inhales sharply and grabs cheryl’s free hand, moving it over her center with a shaky sigh.

 

“feel for yourself.” she croaks out, all traces of teasing or playfulness gone from her tone as nothing but lust and desire takes over. 

 

cheryl licks her lips before she slides her fingers through toni’s slit, the wetness that immediately hits her fingers causing her eyes to roll into the back of her head as she sinks her head down to scrape her teeth over the space between toni’s shoulder and neck, her free hand moving around to pull toni’s hair back away from the area she’s marking.

 

“toni…” cheryl’s mouth is so dry right now, but she forces herself to swallow it down as toni hums and grips her waist, brushing her fingers up and down the naked skin there.

 

“mmm?”

 

“i was thinking…maybe…” cheryl doesn’t understand why she’s so nervous to ask this, maybe because it’s different and maybe because she hasn’t had toni in this way before, but god, she’s been thinking about it for _days_ now-

 

“what, cher-bear? you know you can tell me anything, what is it?” toni asks softly, lips brushing across the corner of cheryl’s mouth lightly. cheryl clenches her jaw and licks her lips before she pulls back to look into toni’s eyes.

 

“maybe…you could ride me?” cheryl asks shyly, the heat rising in her cheeks almost immediately as she observes the way toni’s eyes widen, a soft whine sounding low in her throat before she wraps a hand around the back of cheryl’s neck to pull her down for a bruising kiss, teeth tugging on cheryl’s full bottom lip harshly as the red haired girl moans against her. 

 

toni simply pulls away, forehead resting against cheryl’s breathlessly as she closes her eyes and nods against her, and cheryl licks her lips before she moves her hands over toni’s backside, lips moving against hers once more. toni wraps her arms around her neck, and cheryl sighs against her, grabbing a handful of flesh greedily and relishing in the way toni digs her nails into her skin with a gasp. cheryl grips her hand, interlacing their fingers with a racing heart and blood pounding in her ears as she settles down onto the bed, staring down at the toy between her legs a little apprehensively.

 

it’s not like it’s heavy at all, but she can still feel the weight of the harness and the toy around her hips, and it just feels awkward, but toni is looking at her with the softest smile, and it just makes cheryl more determined than ever. she moves until her back is resting on the headboard, and toni bites down on her lower lip as cheryl straightens out her legs and holds her arms out to toni with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

 

toni giggles before she swings her leg over cheryl’s lap, the toy hitting her thigh as she keeps herself propped up on her knees to avoid it. she grips cheryl’s face, propping her thumbs under cheryl’s chin to tilt her head up as she kisses her deeply. cheryl’s hands find toni’s hips, digging in with bruising pressure as her lips move against toni’s obediently. 

 

she wants toni to have control right now, firstly, because she has no idea what she’s really doing, and two, because she _likes_ toni being in control. she trusts toni with everything, including her life, and perhaps it’s silly to do so after only knowing her a little more than two months, but after everything they’ve talked about to each other, everything they’ve revealed and everything they’ve been through…

 

she trusts toni with her life.

 

“whenever…you’re ready…baby…” cheryl breathes out between kisses, her heart fluttering at the way toni moans before she’s grabbing one of cheryl’s hands suddenly and wrapping it around her neck.

 

cheryl stares at her in complete and utter shock, a mixture of fear and arousal slamming into her as toni smiles down at her shyly.

 

“just…a bit of pressure. you like it when i do it to you, and i wanna try it.” she whispers, leaning in to cheryl and causing pressure to apply naturally to her neck because of it. cheryl bites down on her bottom lip before she presses her thumb against toni’s pulse point, and toni’s whole body shudders against her as a soft whine escapes her, her hands resting on cheryl’s shoulders and digging into the skin harshly. 

 

_fuck, this isn’t even about **wanting** her anymore, i **fucking need** her-_

 

cheryl wraps her free arm around toni’s waist, moving her over until her center is resting just above the toy pressed against her thigh, and toni licks her lips before she grips the wrist of the hand around her throat and slowly lowers herself down onto the toy while pressing her lips against cheryl’s hungrily.

 

the way toni’s whole body tenses, the way she moans against her lips, cheryl’s mind is fucking _racing_ , her knees bending up a little to stop toni from falling backwards as the girl pulls away from cheryl’s lips with a loud gasp, her brow furrowed in pain, or pleasure, cheryl isn’t sure-

 

“are you okay?” she breathes, smoothing the hand around her waist up and down her back for a moment as toni purses her lips and nods furiously.

 

“yeah…” she pants before she’s sinking herself lower onto the toy, inch by inch until she’s buried to the hilt and her backside is resting on cheryl’s lap.

 

“fuck!” toni buries her face into cheryl’s neck with a whimper, and cheryl doesn’t dare move out of fear of hurting her girlfriend, the hand around her neck relaxing and simply resting flat across her chest as toni takes a few moments to adjust with heavy breaths.

 

toni trails her lips up cheryl’s jawline with messy, open mouthed kisses before she lifts herself up and sinks back down again, rolling her hips and driving cheryl’s back into the headboard before she straightens up again, and cheryl smiles up at her before she’s moving her hand up to her neck once more, leaning in to attach her lips to her collarbone as she presses her thumb down on her pulse point.

 

toni’s hips stutter before they pick up speed, rolling down onto the toy with a loud whine as cheryl scratches her nails down her back and moves off the headboard a little. it’s slamming against the wall loudly, making cheryl thankful that they’re not at her trailer doing this as toni’s soft groans only get louder and more frequent the faster she moves. cheryl hesitates before she experimentally moves her hips up, and toni collapses forward with a yelp, panting heavily before she’s nodding against cheryl and gripping her face between her hands.

 

“god, d-do that again, fuck-.” she crashes her lips against cheryl’s desperately, whining against her as cheryl tightens her grip around her waist and thrusts upwards just as toni rolls her hips downwards, finding the rhythm slowly that has sweat dripping down toni’s back and chest. cheryl pulls away from her lips momentarily just to gather the sweat beads on her tongue, licking a trail from the valley between her breasts up to her collarbone before kissing her once again and relishing in the salty taste that hits her.

 

she feels like she’s fucking high, endorphins and adrenaline flooding her like a synthetic drug like it always does when she’s doing this with toni, and she wonders if this is what the pink haired serpent feels every time she has sex with her too, wonders if the truth of the matter is that they’re both just addicted to this feeling they get when they’re with each other, hands groping and lips smacking deliciously against each other’s-

 

toni’s hips are stuttering tiredly now, a whine of almost panic escaping her that she’s losing stamina before getting her climax, and cheryl hesitates before she uses the hand wrapped around toni’s neck and the arm wrapped around her waist to push her down onto the bed without removing the toy from inside her, and as she settles down between toni’s legs, the girl groans loudly and wraps her legs around cheryl’s waist, heels digging into her backside to push her in further as she almost chokes on a sob.

 

“ch-cheryl-.”

 

“i’ve got you, kitten, shh…” cheryl’s heart is racing as she licks her lips before she thrusts her hips forward experimentally, and toni writhes beneath her, bare breasts arching into cheryl’s as she throws her head back with a gasp of pleasure.

 

“fuck! cheryl, p-please-.” cheryl attaches her lips to her neck, sucking and biting as she moves out and back in quickly, finding that rhythm once more that has toni moaning filthily, her fingers fisting into cheryl’s hair and pulling her up for an open mouthed kiss-

 

cheryl slides her hand down toni’s body, her thumb searching for that strained bud that she knows will push toni over the edge, and once she finds it, she presses down and rubs insistently, causing toni’s eyes to fly open and her head to fall back against the pillow with a loud cry of pleasure, her nails scratching down cheryl’s back and causing the red head to wince. cheryl continues thrusting, her hips aching, but she pushes through it and sits up a little higher to wrap her free hand around toni’s neck once more, pushing down harshly on her pulse point-

 

toni’s back snaps off the bed, a choked out moan escaping her as her thighs grip and clench around cheryl’s waist, and cheryl can’t feel if she’s climaxing, but she must be from the way she’s digging her nails into cheryl’s back, loud whines and moans leaving her throat and causing vibrations against cheryl’s fingers until she finds herself unable to thrust any longer. toni’s clenching around the toy, gripping it and preventing her from even moving as she simply rolls her hips down into toni to extend her orgasm just a little longer-

 

her fingers slip away from toni’s clit gently, coming to rest beside toni’s head to keep herself upright, and toni’s legs eventually relax around her waist, her chest heaving with sweat dripping down her brow as her eyes flutter closed and the laziest, most doped out smile takes over her face. 

 

cheryl removes her hand from toni’s neck, breathing heavily as she holds herself up and simply looks down at toni for any signs on what she wants her to do next. she goes to pull out, but toni whines and suddenly grips the straps of the harness to stop her, shaking her head and blinking her eyes open with a pant.

 

“not yet, just…not yet…” she gasps, wheezing slightly as cheryl’s eyes fall on the bruises forming on her neck. guilt slams into her heavily, and she bites down on her bottom lip before she leans down to begin peppering kisses over the marks gently, toni humming softly in content as her hands rub up and down cheryl’s back soothingly. 

 

“are you okay, t.t.?” cheryl croaks out hoarsely, her throat dry and her body aching as toni nuzzles her nose against cheryl’s with a huff.

 

“yeah…we’re doing that again.” she husks out, chuckling as cheryl laughs and trails her lips over toni’s face in soft kisses. 

 

“mmm, whenever you want, toni.” 

 

“are you sure? was it good for you, too? i-.”

 

cheryl crashes her lips against toni’s to silence her, the girl’s words muffled before she responds happily to the kiss with a chuckle.

 

“it might not get me off, toni, but it gets _you_ off, that’s all i care about.” cheryl whispers with a fond smile. toni’s head falls back against the bed tiredly as she takes a few deep breaths in with a nod.

 

“mmm, in that case…” toni licks her lips before she thrusts her hips up a little, cheryl’s eyes widening as toni bites back a whimper and looks up at her with a grin.

 

“round two?”

 

\---------------

 

cheryl stretches out with a groan, lifting her leg up and curling her arm under it before pushing and wincing in pain. god, her body is so sore, but she wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

for the first time in her life, her body was sore because of something so _goddamn good,_ not because her mother had pushed her down the stairs or slapped her around as she pleased. it’s so strange, but so welcoming, and cheryl braces one hand against the locker as she stretches herself further with a deep sigh.

 

her phone buzzes in her locker, and she glances down, a smile instantly lighting up her face at the message that comes through from the one person she’s missing right now more than anything else.

 

**baby <3 [16:34]**  
_i’m looking through the photos i took last week, you’re so beautiful, cher-bear. i’m gonna get them developed and put them on my wall. xo_

 

cheryl’s heart warms at the idea of her photos being put amongst the things toni found beautiful, and she slowly lowers her leg with a deep and shaky exhale before she grabs her phone to reply.

 

**you [16:35]**  
_i can’t wait to see them, babe._

 

she follows it with a kissy face emoji, sighing deeply and mournfully. she’s stuck at vixens practice, and toni had work, which meant they won’t be seeing each other tonight, and the thought has cheryl aching with more than just physical pain. she already misses her, even though she was here an hour and a half ago, kissing cheryl over and over again before reluctantly moving to her bike to head home while cheryl stayed behind. 

 

she continues her after practice stretches, not wanting anything to cramp, especially with how goddamn active her sex life is right now-

 

her phone buzzes again.

 

**baby <3 [16:41]**  
_my trailer is boring without you here, baby. thinking of you…_

 

it’s almost immediately followed by a photo, and cheryl almost drops her fucking phone.

 

toni, laying on her bed, a soft pout on her face, but more than that…more than that, she’s wearing no shirt, one hand covering her breasts, but pushing them up at the same time, exposing the fading bruises littering her collarbone and neck on full display, soft pink curls flowing over her shoulders and framing her caramel colored body-

 

“cheryl, what is that?”

 

cheryl almost jumps out of her goddamn skin, her phone falling down inside the locker with a dull thud as she shuts the door quickly to hide the photo still on full display. she turns, scared that she's been caught receiving a semi nude image from her girlfriend to see veronica staring at her stomach, her eyes wide in shock, and cheryl takes a deep breath in before crossing her arms over her chest in annoyance.

 

“what on earth are you talking about, veronica?” she snaps slightly, and veronica steps forward and reaches out, gripping the hem of cheryl’s slightly sweat soaked vixens shirt and lifting it to expose the fading bruises on her hips from toni’s fingers digging into her-

 

cheryl yelps and goes to slap veronica’s hand away, but the girl lifts her shirt higher, exposing the bruises on her ribs from toni’s lips and teeth as she gasps and looks up at cheryl in complete and utter horror.

 

“oh my god, cheryl-.”

 

cheryl slaps her hand away, nothing but rage flooding her as she glares at veronica with nothing but venom.

 

“do that again, and i’ll grab those pearls you love wearing around that pretty little neck of yours and choke you out with them!” she barks, pulling her shirt down to cover her bruises as her cheeks flush and her heart begins racing.

 

god, please don’t let veronica ask her about her sex life right now-

 

“cheryl, how did you get those?! is that goddamn _snake_ hurting you?!” veronica demands, and cheryl’s heart just _stops._

 

she freezes, one hand curled around her locker door as her nails dig into the metal in complete and utter rage.

 

she…she didn’t just say that. no, cheryl’s imagining things, she must be, there’s no way veronica would even remotely _imply_ something like that-

 

“answer me, cheryl!” veronica shrieks, causing the other vixens to turn and look at her in surprise, josie and betty rounding the corner with towels around their chests as they look on in concern. 

 

that’s. **it.**

 

cheryl slams a palm down onto her locker door, relishing in the way veronica jumps as she glares at her with bared teeth, face almost as red as the hair atop her head as she steps closer to the raven haired girl, completely and utterly ready to unleash hell.

 

“how _dare_ you even suggest that toni would _ever_ do _anything_ to harm me? how dare you even fathom the goddamn fucking possibility of toni doing something like that when she’s done nothing but care for me from the second she laid eyes on me?” cheryl hisses, spit almost flying from her ruby red lips as veronica recoils and steps back.

 

“cheryl, there’s bruises-.”

 

“it’s called ‘sex’, veronica! you know that thing you and archie seem to be perfectly fine doing in the middle of the fucking hallways?! they’re bruises from love making, not violence, you complete and utter nitwit! just like these are!” cheryl growls, pointing at the barely concealed bruises on her neck and collarbone before she takes another step forward as josie and betty run forward and pull veronica back from cheryl’s wrath slightly.

 

“cheryl-.”

 

“clifford and penelope blossom left marks on me for fucking _years_ , and you never once said anything about it! but now that i’m happy, now that i’m not dragging my feet with my head down, dripping with misery and despair, now that i finally have something _good_ in my fucking life, you notice the bruises on my skin?!” cheryl screams, not even noticing how josie, veronica and betty’s eyes widen in shock at her words, a soft gasp escaping josie as she suddenly reaches out to grip cheryl’s shoulder.

 

“wait, your parents hurt you? cheryl-.” cheryl shrugs out of her grasp with a derisive laugh, blinking back tears of anger as she stares at them in disbelief.

 

like they never saw the bruises, like they never saw cheryl limping down the hallways, they’re all fucking _liars_ \- 

 

“you, all of you, you’re all so fucking fake, you live your lives caring about reputation and caring about things that don’t even fucking matter, accusing good people of things they’d _never_ be capable of doing! you disgust me! toni…” cheryl’s voice cracks at the mention of her girlfriend’s name, the tears spilling over before she can stop them, but she hastily wipes them away and sniffs before shaking her head, the three girls before her watching her with nothing but guilt in their eyes.

 

“toni has the kindest heart of anyone i’ve ever met, so don’t you _dare_ , don’t you dare ever accuse her of doing something like that again! she doesn’t deserve that, not one bit!” cheryl cries, her voice shaking and her heart pounding, and veronica, to her surprise, is also crying, tears falling down her own cheeks as she shakes her head and steps forward.

 

“no, i’m…i’m _sorry_ , cheryl, i just saw the bruises and i got s-scared-.”

 

“oh, don’t act like you care all of a sudden, veronica, you don’t!” cheryl snaps, that anger quickly returning as she throws open her locker door and grabs her phone and bag, and veronica whimpers as josie and betty shake their heads, voices overlapping each other’s-

 

“cheryl, _of course_ we care-.”

 

“cheryl, we _love_ you, we’re just worried-.”

 

“STOP LYING! toni cares more about me than any of you ever will! just leave me and my relationship the fuck alone!” cheryl screams, slamming the locker shut and heading straight for the door, running as fast as her sore legs will carry her, and she can hear the others chasing after her, but she ignores it and pushes through the double doors, running straight for her impala as the rain currently thundering down hammers her body, drowning her in water in less than a minute.

 

“cheryl, wait!”

 

cheryl chokes back on her sobs and jumps into her car, not even looking back at josie, veronica and betty all standing by the entrance, watching her leave with nothing but grief and regret. she shoves the keys into the ignition and shoves the car into reverse, peeling out of the parking lot with her tires screeching on the wet asphalt. her phone buzzes loudly before she can even think through what just happened, cheryl’s eyes brimming with tears and rain as she glances down to see a message from toni.

 

 **baby <3 [16:50]**  
_cat got your tongue, bombshell?_

 

cheryl whimpers, and before she can stop herself, she grips her phone tighter in her hand and presses the call button on toni’s name, heavy sobs escaping her as toni’s chuckling voice echoes on the other end of the line as soon as she raises it to her ear.

 

“if you’re about to ask me to have phone sex-.”

 

“t-toni…” cheryl chokes on her name, her heart aching as she drives blindly toward the southside, blinking away her tears in an effort to see past the rain pounding into her windshield as her heart aches for her pink haired lover.

 

“cheryl? what happened, why are you crying?” all traces of humor and playfulness are immediately erased from toni topaz's tone, her voice filled with nothing but concern as cheryl swallows down thick gulps of air hysterically. 

 

“i c-can’t-p-please-.” her chest is constricting tighter, fuck-

 

“cher, baby, breathe! just breathe, i’m coming now, where are you?!” toni almost yells, not in anger, but complete and utter panic as cheryl looks out onto the road and takes a shuddering breath in.

 

"s-sunnyside-.”

 

“no, don’t come to the trailer park! just…go home, cher, i’m coming right now, okay? i promise, i’ll be there in ten minutes, just get home!” cheryl can already hear the sound of toni moving about, the sound of her bike keys jangling, and she licks her lips, the salty taste of tears invading her mouth as she nods once.

 

“o-okay-.”

 

“focus on driving home safely, please, cheryl! i’m coming, baby!” cheryl closes her eyes for the briefest moment and nods, taking a deep breath in before she opens her eyes and ends the call, focusing her eyes on the road so she can get home safely, where toni will be there in ten minutes-

 

_toni’s coming, she’s coming, cheryl, please hold on…_

 

she can’t believe that just happened, can’t believe that veronica just accused toni of something so fucking hideous…

 

why, why were they so hellbent on ruining cheryl’s happiness? why was _everyone_ so hellbent on ruining her happiness? why couldn’t anyone just want what’s best for her, why was she even letting this affect her so much, why did they never see the true marks of abuse from penelope and clifford that marked her skin for years, why, why why-

 

how...how could they compare her relationship to toni with something like that? her parents hurt her, abused her, physically, emotionally, mentally for fucking _years_ , and yet they saw _toni_ as an abusive person just because of the jacket she wore?

 

it doesn't make sense no matter how hard she tries to make it make sense...

 

she miraculously makes it to thistlehouse unscathed, parking in the driveway and jumping out of the car with her panic only growing more and more by the second, and she grabs her bag and jumps out of the car, barely managing to close the door behind her before she's running to the front door with rain crashing around her.

 

_i need to get inside, please, please..._

 

she shoves the key into the lock with trembling fingers and pushes through the door, collapsing onto her hands and knees the second she gets through and gasping for air desperately-

 

she feels like the walls are suffocating her, closing in on her and crushing her, she feels like everything is falling apart, like she has no control, no fucking control-

 

her collar, she needs her collar-

 

_no, i need **toni** , where is she-_

 

her clothes are sticking to her skin, her whole body drenched in rain and she knows what this is, she’s had it a hundred times before, but she _still_ doesn’t know how to get over panic attacks, doesn’t know how to calm her body down from the constant seizing of her muscles and the wheezing for air, she never learned how to do this on her own-

 

she wants to die. she wants to fucking die, for this to just be over and done with-

 

“CHERYL!?”

 

she doesn’t even hear the pounding footsteps of boots, only feels cold hands grip her shoulders before she’s being pulled backwards, and the second the scent hits her-

 

“cheryl, baby, breathe! just breathe, shh-.” toni’s voice fills her ears as she rubs her back soothingly, and cheryl whimpers and tries to take a deep breath in, but she can’t-

 

“come here, shh, lean back, cher!” an arm wraps around her chest before she can lean back voluntarily, and before she knows it she’s being dragged, her back slamming against toni’s chest as the pink haired serpent’s legs circle around her.

 

“put your head between your legs and keep taking deep breaths in, cheryl. in through your nose, out through your mouth, come on, baby…” toni murmurs into her ear, resting a hand on the back of her neck and gently pushing her head down while her free hand grabs the back of her knees to push them up, and cheryl closes her eyes, feels the blood rushing to her head as she inhales deeply through her nose before exhaling shakily out of her mouth, repeating the process while toni continues to rub her back and coo softly. 

 

cheryl doesn’t have the heart to tell her. how is she supposed to tell toni that she was judged simply because of the jacket she wears? she knows toni already knows that no one has a good opinion on her because of it, but for veronica to accuse her of something like _that-_

 

“i’m here, cher-bear, just keep breathing, baby…” toni croaks out, and cheryl can feel her heart beginning to settle, her breathing beginning to even out as toni grips her shoulders and squeezes them, massaging the flesh and digging her thumbs into her shoulder blades soothingly. 

 

“good girl, cher-bear, you’re doing so well…” 

 

how? how could they associate the absolute and utter _good_ that was toni topaz with something so heinous and depraved? 

 

cheryl pulls back and rests her head back against toni’s shoulder, closing her eyes and trying to will her body to stop shaking as toni holds her close and begins pressing kisses down the side of her face, and cheryl can feel how wet her body is as well from the rain, her serpent jacket soaked with water. 

 

“can you walk, baby?” toni whispers in her ear after a few moments. cheryl licks her lips before she shakes her head, her whole body trembling with anxiety and just pure exhaustion, and toni sighs before she hooks her arms underneath cheryl’s knees, one arm wrapping around her back as she adjusts herself and pulls cheryl up off the ground with a grunt of exertion. cheryl gasps before she wraps her arms around toni’s neck and lifts herself up a little to help with the weight, her face burying into toni’s neck as the serpent girl carries her up the stairs with incredible strength that cheryl didn’t even know she had…

 

she carries cheryl bridal style to her bedroom, gently kicking the door open as she pants heavily into cheryl’s ear from the exertion of carrying her before resting her down on her bed slowly. cheryl lets her tears roll down the sides of her face and into her hair, her eyes hyper-focused on the ceiling above her as toni sheds her serpent jacket and places it on the dresser.

 

“i’m gonna take your clothes off, baby, they’re all wet, you’re gonna get sick if you stay in them…” toni murmurs, and cheryl simply nods, not looking at her and whining slightly as toni takes her sneakers off, peeling her socks off after it and dropping them to the ground. she grips the hem of her booty shorts and slowly pulls them down and off her body before she grabs cheryl’s hand and lifts her up into a seated position. cheryl’s bottom lip trembles, her heart aching at how gentle and soft toni is being right now, and toni looks at her with nothing but sadness as she brushes her thumb over her bottom lip to get it to stop shaking.

 

how could they accuse her of abuse?

 

“shh, i’m here, cher-bear, okay? i’m here…come on, let’s get your shirt off…” toni grips the hem of her shirt before slowly peeking it off her soaked body, cheryl’s wet hair sticking to her bare skin before toni quickly whips off her own shirt and her jeans until she’s just in her bra and panties as well. cheryl feels like the sight should arouse her, but god, she can't think of anything but the rage and sadness inside her over veronica's accusations...

 

“come on, let’s get under the covers, warm you up…” toni breathes, pulling the blankets back as cheryl crawls toward the headboard with a sniff. toni pulls the blankets out from under her before tucking her in and sliding into the space beside her, and cheryl whimpers before she curls up against toni’s chest, the girl wrapping her arms around her body and pulling her close.

 

“shh…it’s okay, cheryl…” toni says hoarsely, running her fingers through cheryl’s wet hair, and cheryl feels like she should be upset that toni’s hair is also wet and is likely staining her sheets with pink dye, but the sheets are red anyway, and she can’t find it in her to care regardless. 

 

all she cares about right now is being in toni’s arms, her soft voice cooing in her ear as her fingers brush over her skin and hair gently, erasing any of the horrible thoughts and memories of what just happened from her mind…

 

and veronica really thought the bruises on her skin were from _violence…_

 

“baby, what happened?” toni asks softly. cheryl whines and buries her face into toni’s neck, not wanting to utter a single word that veronica had said to her to toni, and she hears toni inhale sharply before she presses her lips to cheryl’s brow.

 

“okay, it’s okay, we don’t have to talk about it…” toni murmurs, and god, cheryl is so _thankful for her-_

 

“just know that i’m here, cher-bear…i’m right here, right by your side, okay? you’re not alone, cheryl. not ever again. whenever you’re ready to talk, i’ll be here.” toni whispers. 

 

how...how can they think that about toni topaz? she cared so fucking much about cheryl...

 

cheryl pushes herself up and kisses her, unable to stop herself, whimpering against her lips before she pulls away and finds herself falling back into toni's arms in exhaustion.

 

god, she’s tired…she’s so fucking tired of fake friends and horrible family and just… _everything…_

 

she finds herself running her fingers over the scars on her wrist, and toni's lips are more insistent on her brown now as she clings to toni, trying to keep herself grounded by focusing on the feeling of her skin...

 

cheryl has no idea how long they’re lying there in silence for before she clears her throat and speaks the thoughts that have been invading her mind for the last two months now. it's something she's never wanted more than right now, and maybe...god, just maybe, toni will agree with her-

 

“can we leave riverdale, toni? just go far away and never come back?” she croaks out, nails digging into toni’s sides as she refuses to meet her gaze from fear of rejection, and the serpent girl exhales shakily and simply holds her closer, her cheek resting against the top of toni's head.

 

“cher, baby, i wish more than anything that i could do that…even before i met you, all i’ve ever wanted is to leave this town behind, but…if i’ve learned one thing from life, cher, it’s that we can’t run from our problems. we can’t cower and hide and run when things get tough or when we get scared. we have to have courage, cher-bear. courage to look our problems in the eye and face them head on so we can overcome them.” toni whispers. cheryl bites down on the inside of her cheek, trying to stop herself from crying as she begins playing with the lace of toni’s bra, the tears falling before she can stop them.

 

god, she knows toni is right, she knows it deep down in her heart, but she's so fucking tired of trying to be brave and courageous, and trying to move past her demons and look for the happiness at the end of the rainbow...every time she tries, it all goes to shit, so what the fuck is the point anymore? in anything?

 

“i’m so tired, t.t. god i’m just so tired…” cheryl whimpers. toni tightens her hold on the red head before she sighs deeply, her breath tickling cheryl's skin gently as she does.

 

“cher, what happened?” she asks, her voice pleading with her girlfriend to talk to her, to be open like she has been for the last two months, but cheryl can’t do it.

 

telling toni that veronica accused her of abuse…that veronica thought toni had something as heinous as that to her…

 

she knows it's going to piss toni off. she knows it's going to do nothing but probably result in veronica's teeth getting kicked in, and that wouldn't end well for toni. she can't let that happen...

 

her silence speaks volumes, because toni sighs before she drops a kiss to her forehead and settles further into the pillows.

 

“okay…we can talk about it later, but i’ll be right here, okay?” 

 

“toni, you have work-.” cheryl starts, knowing that toni has a shift at the wyrm, but toni presses a finger to her lips with a soft smile.

 

“it’s okay, baby, i’ll get fangs to cover my shift. i’m not leaving, not now, not ever, okay?” cheryl’s bottom lip quivers before she nods and sighs shakily against the pink haired girl, who simply continues holding her and comforting her until she eventually drifts off to into a restless sleep.

 

_she’s here, toni’s here, everything’s okay…_

 

\-----------------

 

cheryl doesn’t even know what time she nods off, only knows that when she wakes up, the sun is just beginning to rise over the horizon and a warm arm is draped over her waist holding her close, her back pressed against an equally warm chest.

 

the sun is rising?

 

_holy shit, i’ve been asleep for twelve hours?_

 

she must’ve been more tired than she thought.

 

she bites on the inside of her cheek, the memories of yesterday hitting her all at once, of veronica and josie and betty and her panic attack, all these things bombarding her and making her a little anxious as it is. she licks her lips and grips the hand around her waist, wincing when toni inhales deeply behind her before she’s loosening her hold and dropping a kiss to cheryl’s bare shoulder.

 

“cher? you awake?” toni mumbles, her voice thick with sleep. cheryl simply nods, not trusting herself to speak right now, and toni sighs before she grips cheryl’s shoulder and forces her to turn onto her back, concerned eyes roaming over her face to try and determine what she's feeling.

 

“are you okay?” toni whispers, her eyes blinking the sleep away slowly as cheryl swallows the lump in her throat and simply nods once.

 

“yeah…” she croaks out with a lie. toni sighs, and cheryl knows she doesn't believe her, but she doesn't push the matter, reaching a hand up to brush her fingers through cheryl’s hair, hesitation clear on her face before she finally asks what’s been on her mind.

 

“cher, what happened yesterday-.”

 

the sound of a loud door banging open downstairs echoes out and causes cheryl to jump in complete and utter shock, her heart pounding against her chest painfully.

 

oh shit, did she lock the door last night? she can't fucking remember-

 

intruders. intruders in the house, fuck, fuck, _shit_ -

 

toni looks up with wide eyes before she jumps up off the bed and moves around it to where her clothes are resting. she tugs her jeans back on quickly and puts her serpent jacket on over her bra clad body before she’s reaching into the pocket of it-

 

and pulling out a pocket knife.

 

cheryl flinches before she can stop herself as toni flicks it open, and she looks back at cheryl with concern before raising a finger to her lips.

 

“stay behind me, okay?” she whispers. cheryl feels like her heart is about to dislodge out of her ribcage and fly out of her throat, the panic that's gripping her almost sending her into another panic attack, but she swallows it down as quickly as she can and nods numbly as toni holds her free hand out to cheryl for her to take. cheryl grabs a robe and slips it on before she grabs her hand, interlacing their fingers and letting toni lead her out of her bedroom despite how fast her heart is pounding.

 

“cheryl?! i know you’re home, your car is parked in the driveway!”

 

_oh **fuck.**_

 

no, no, no, no, no it can’t be, it _can’t_ be, what was she doing here, she hasn’t stepped a foot in this place for _months-_

 

cheryl completely freezes, the sound of her voice making cheryl almost collapse to her knees as toni's grip on her hand tightens. 

 

“cheryl, who is that?” toni breathes, looking at her with wide eyes filled with shock and confusion, and cheryl bites back a whimper, doesn't even want to answer as high heels echo on the ground downstairs and she simply blurts out the inevitable truth.

 

“it’s my mother.” cheryl whispers. 

 

“cheryl! get down here!” penelope blossom’s voice screams up the stairs, and toni looks at her girlfriend in horror before she quickly sheathes her pocket knife and shoves it back into the pocket of her serpent jacket, her hand in cheryl's squeezing so tightly, she's scared her fingers are gonna fall out any second now.

 

“fuck… _fuck_ , cheryl, do…do you want me to hide in one of the other rooms? i-.”

 

“CHERYL MARJORIE BLOSSOM, GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!” 

 

cheryl flinches instinctively, unable to stop herself from doing so, years of hearing her mother scream at her making her heart immediately begin to pound anxiously as toni licks her lips nervously and looks to cheryl pleadingly.

 

“cher-.” 

 

“toni, i’m so s-sorry, you have to go, get out through the window in my room, okay? i’m sorry-.” toni shakes her head vigorously, more than aware of penelope blossom’s abusive past toward cheryl after almost two months of stories and confessions as she grips her girlfriend’s hands tightly.

 

“cheryl, no! i’m not gonna leave you-.”

 

“you have to, toni, please!” cheryl begs, gripping toni’s hands pleadingly to get her to leave before her mother comes storming up here-

 

toni can’t be here, she can’t, if her mother finds her, they’re both dead, she wouldn't put it past the vile woman, she was married to the man who murdered her son after all-

 

“cheryl, don’t make me leave right now, not after everything she’s done to you, please-.”

 

footsteps begin marching up the stairs, and cheryl feels the room spin and her body tense up immediately.

 

no...no, no, no, she can't see her, she _can't-_

 

“toni!” cheryl grabs her arm and drags her backwards until they’re entering her room again, and she slams the door shut, her heart in her throat before she’s pushing toni towards the window anxiously.

 

“go, go, please, toni, i’m b-begging you-.”

 

penelope can't catch them, she can't-

 

“cheryl, what if she hurts you?! i-.”

 

a loud bang, and cheryl’s knees buckle so hard, toni has to grip her and hold her up, the both of them watching in horror as penelope blossom bursts through the door, red hair slightly in disarray and brown eyes blazing _murderously_ as they land on the southside serpent girl with pink hair that’s gripping her daughter-

 

her daughter who is wearing nothing but a bra and panties underneath a silk robe, the serpent girl only wearing jeans and a jacket over a bra as well-

 

a goddamn southside serpent leather jacket.

 

penelope’s nostrils flare, her eyes falling on cheryl, who clings to toni tightly with a whimper escaping her throat before she can stop it, and all so suddenly, the last two months have meant _nothing._

 

she’s that frightened kid again, desperate for her mother’s approval and begging for her not to raise her hand as penelope crosses her arms over her chest and scoffs in disbelief.

 

“so the rumors are true, then? my daughter is running around the town of riverdale on the arm of some southside serpent _harlot_ , parading her around proudly as arm candy?” she snaps through barred teeth, her eyes roaming over cheryl’s body and her face contorting in complete and utter disgust as they land on the bruises on her body…her hips, her collarbone, her neck-

 

“mrs. blossom, i-.” toni begins, but penelope raises a finger to silence her before she's screaming.

 

“don’t you _dare_ even address me, you _vagrant!_ get out of my house! now!” penelope barks, pointing a finger to the door as she glares at toni with the fury of a thousand suns. 

 

oh god, no, toni can't leave, cheryl doesn't even want to think about what penelope's going to do to her if she leaves-

 

cheryl watches as toni swallows nervously, watches as she licks her lips before she stands tall and shakes her head defiantly with a shaky exhale, refusing to budge.

 

“i’m not leaving cheryl behind-.” penelope _hisses_ before she steps forward, and cheryl can’t fucking _move_ , because she’s seen this side of penelope so many times before and she’s so frozen in fear right now she can’t even focus-

 

toni can't be here...toni can't be here she can't, please-

 

“get. out. of. my. house. before i call the police and have you arrested for trespassing!” penelope snarls, her gaze moving down to cheryl, who simply averts her eyes and bows her head in complete and utter defeat.

 

she got them. cheryl wasn't about to let toni get arrested, especially considering she _is_ a southside serpent...she won't do that to her.

 

“go, toni.” she whispers, her voice small and damaged and broken like the fucking human she is, and toni looks at her in shock, cheryl can fucking feel her eyes burning through the top of her head in question of why, why she's asking her to leave-

 

“cheryl, no, please don’t make me leave! please…” toni moves to step forward, her hands reaching for cheryl's face, but penelope immediately surges forward and flings an arm out to block toni off from even touching cheryl as she raises a threatening finger to toni with a growl.

 

“get out of my goddamn house, and don’t you _dare_ think about coming back! i’m putting an end to this…this _deviancy_ once and for all! GET OUT!” she screams in toni’s face, cheryl flinching despite herself, and cheryl watches the absolute _anger_ that shines in toni’s eyes as she looks past penelope to cheryl-

 

who immediately shakes her head, begging and pleading with her eyes for toni to just _go._

 

she can't let toni get hurt, she can't let _penelope_ hurt her, she just can't...

 

toni’s eyes fill with heartbreak, and she looks at penelope with nothing but hatred once more before she licks her lips and makes her way to the door slowly, as if each step is causing her nothing but pain. cheryl watches her go in anguish as her mother keeps her arm over her to stop her from moving forward, from rushing into toni's arms, and it isn’t until cheryl hears the sound of the front door closing and a bike roaring to life that she sees penelope relax a little, her arm dropping to her side while she tries to fight back a whimper of anguish at the loss of toni by her side.

 

this can't be happening...

 

“mother, i-.”

 

SMACK.

 

the sound reverberates throughout the entire bedroom, the gasp that escapes the red haired girl getting lost in the echo as she clutches her stinging cheek with tears quickly welling from the pain before penelope grips her shoulders and forces her to look at her, gripping her chin between her fingers with her teeth bared in anger.

 

“how _dare_ you, cheryl marjorie blossom!? how dare you bring that…that serpent _slut_ into _our_ home!? how dare you defile this estate with your deviancy and your depraved ways?!” penelope screams so loud, cheryl’s ears are ringing, and her hand is raised again before-

 

another slap. the same cheek burning as she cries out in agony and stumbles, penelope gripping her bicep and digging her fingers into it harshly to pull her back straight angrily. 

 

“you are nothing but a _sick_ , disgusting, revolting, _useless_ excuse for a daughter! how many times did your father and i tell you to put a stop to this…this _abnormal_ behavior, cheryl?! even in his death, you still disobey him?!” penelope cries, nails digging in to her skin, and the words are spilling out of cheryl before she can stop them, because she can't not defend herself, she can't sit here and let her mother call toni all of these horrible things-

 

“she makes me _happy_ , mom-.”

 

the force of this slap is so hard, cheryl falls to the ground harshly and everything just turns... _white._

 

the tears fall down, only briefly soothing her aching cheek as she pushes herself up with shaking arms, panic and terror gripping her tightly and refusing to let her go-

 

she's suffered worse than this, but it doesn't make her any less terrified. whatever penelope as planned for her can't be good-

 

“happy? you’ve never known happiness, cheryl! you are nothing but a jealous, starving, spite-filled, emotional anorexic, clinging to anyone and anything that gives you even the _slightest_ bit of attention! you’re deplorable! you truly think that girl cares for you?” penelope laughs derisively, the most evilest smirk on her face as she shakes her head.

 

“you’re incapable of having someone care about you, cheryl. as soon as she gets bored, she’ll drop you quicker than you can beg her not to. and you’ll be left all alone to sit in your sin with nothing but regret and sadness.” penelope says firmly.

 

and there it is. the seed planted within her mind so easily. cheryl _hates_ how the doubt almost immediately begins to form, hates how her mother has this affect on her, this fucking ability to make her question _everything_ at the drop of a hat-

 

“you should’ve died instead of jason, cheryl, and not a day will go by where i won’t _wish_ it was you instead of him.” penelope hisses.

 

the words cut deeper than any slap ever could.

 

cheryl just lays there, half off the ground as she processes those words painfully, lets them sit in her brain and dwell like a foul stench, lets it rest in her bones before penelope makes her final cut and bends down to grip cheryl’s face between her fingers once more, forcing her to watch her own mother spit words of venom instead of love like any normal mother _should…_

 

“pack your bags and be out of thistlehouse by five, cheryl. when i return, i don't want to see a single inch of you in this house. i won’t entertain this behavior for a single second longer. you want to be deviant? you want that girl so badly? go join her in the slums on the southside, and don’t you even _think_ about stepping foot in this house again when she leaves you for some other _bitch_ her viper eyes land on. you won’t receive any sympathy for it.” penelope hisses, and with that, she lets cheryl go, dropping her down the ground and letting her process, in horror, the ultimatum she was just given.

 

and penelope, of course, always a flair for the dramatics, stops by the door and turns to look at cheryl's car keys that are on the dresser from where toni put them last night, a smirk on her face as she snatches the keys up and looks at her broken, grieving daughter one last time without a single ounce of remorse in her eyes as she utters her next words.

 

“i have no daughter anymore. consider the name ‘blossom’ a dead one to you, cheryl.” and with that, she leaves, slamming the door shut behind her and leaving cheryl to sit in the pain, the torture, the complete and utter _heartbreak_ that quickly takes her over. 

 

she was being kicked out of her home.

 

no, she…she was really just kicked out of her home, oh _god-_

 

this wasn’t happening. this _couldn’t be happening_ , how did everything go to shit so fucking quickly-

 

_end it, cheryl. just fucking end it, what’s the point anymore?_

 

no…no, she has toni now-

 

_oh yeah? didn’t you hear a single word your mother said? you really think this thing you have with toni is going to last forever?! of course it isn’t, you’re so stupid! it’s better to just end it now before your heart gets broken all over again!_

 

no…no, that’s a lie, she has toni, toni cares about her-

 

_as if! why would she care about some damaged, suicidal girl who no longer even has a home anymore?_

 

oh god, where is she going to _go…_ she doesn’t have josie, betty or veronica to lean back on anymore, she’s so fucking screwed-

 

she’s homeless. she’s really, _actually_ fucking homeless right now. 

 

her mother just took everything from her without even blinking once and why? because she was dating a girl, or because she _was_ one?

 

it's not secret to cheryl that penelope and clifford preferred jason over her, but this...locking cheryl out of her own home? 

 

she can hear her phone ringing incessantly, but all she can think about is everything she’s just lost in the span of ten minutes.

 

not just her home, not just her car, but her family, too...

 

her mother disowned her.

 

_it hurts…it all hurts, just make it stop, please…_

 

her cheek is burning, her whole body trembling as she tries to push herself up off the ground, but it's no use. she can't even move...

 

she hears the sound of a door opening and closing before there's the sound of a car taking off, and she still doesn't budge, not even to grab her phone and beg toni to come back, to stop her from breaking down hysterically like she wants to so desperately do right now...she just wants the pain to stop...

 

how did everything collapse so quickly within twenty four hours? just yesterday morning she was waking up to toni in her arms, and today, she's waking up to friends who are fucking accusing her girlfriend of abusing her and the real abuser of her life barging in to take away _everything_ she held dear.

 

she didn't have a home anymore.

 

god, how is she even supposed to pack everything up by five, how is she supposed to do anything without her car? that was jason's car...the only thing she had left of him and now it was being taken from her because she was in a relationship with a fucking girl?

 

she hates it. she hates everything about every single ounce of this, but she can't fight it even if she tried.

 

there's nothing she can do.

 

she just wants reprieve, that's all...just a moment to take her to the darkness, to give her peace just this once-

 

"CHERYL!?"

 

pounding footsteps rushing up the stairs before her door busts open and-

 

"FUCK! CHERYL!" 

 

strong arms grip her and immediately pull her up, her limbs flailing as toni topaz pulls her into her lap and brushes her hair back from her face, a gasp of horror escaping her at the welt that's no doubt forming on her cheek, and cheryl's trying so hard to breathe, but her lungs are too tired to inflate and deflate and supply her heart with the oxygen to keep her heart beating-

 

"baby, fuck! i'm s-sorry, i shouldn't h-have left, i...fuck, i'm so sorry!" toni whimpers through her insistent sobbing, her hand moving up to brush delicate fingers over cheryl's wounded cheek, and at that, cheryl _loses it._

 

she breaks down, unable to stop herself as she straddles toni's lap and wraps her arms around her neck to hug her tightly, the pink haired serpent burying her face into cheryl's shoulder and holding her as close as fucking possible. 

 

"she k-kicked m-me out, t-toni...she d-disowned m-me." cheryl gasps out between hysterical and desperate gulps of air, still drawing in shuddering breaths that make her heart squeeze and her lungs burn, and she hears toni inhale sharply before she pulls back and cradles cheryl's face in her hands, tears falling down both their cheeks, both of them so fucking broken, and just when they were starting to put the pieces of each other back together...

 

she leans in to kiss her, lips brushing against hers softly and the taste of salty tears hitting cheryl's tongue before it's gone just as quickly, and she tries to draw in another breath, but god, it hurts her chest _so much..._

 

"i...cheryl, i-." toni's at a complete loss for words, and cheryl simply shakes her head and collapses into toni breathlessly, closing her eyes and breathin in her scent as she croaks out her next sentence.

 

"just...h-hold me, p-please..." she whispers. 

 

and toni whimpers as she nods against her and presses a kiss to her temple, trying desperately to fix the broken parts of her girlfriend and put them back together...

 

"i've got you, baby...i've got you...i'm so sorry, i'm so, so sorry..."


	12. she's gonna look after you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew, this is the first chapter without sex in it for life...at least eight or so chapters? oof.
> 
> don't worry, the sex will come back next chapter.
> 
> for now, have a heartbreaking/fluffy chapter to tide you over. it's a little shorter than the others, and for that i'm sorry, but i've been super busy with work because of christmas :( hope you can forgive me!
> 
> leave comments letting me know what you think or you can scream at me on twitter at @endofdaysforme. bye now!

toni does _everything._

 

cheryl’s a complete and utter frozen mess, unable to do or think or breathe or feel, just sits on her bed staring blankly at the wall with her heart aching and her body equally battered and bruised. 

 

her mother’s words simply keep reverberating in her mind, repeating on loop over and over and over again…

 

_“you should’ve died instead of jason, cheryl, and not a day will go by where i won’t wish it was you instead of him.”_

 

her mother has been gone for months, to the point where cheryl had all but given hope of ever seeing her again, and yet out of nowhere…

 

out of nowhere, she came barging in and ruined cheryl’s entire life with a few words and three brutal slaps across the cheek.

 

cheryl’s trying so hard to cling to everything she’s learned about self-control, about _herself_ in the last two months, but right now all she can focus on is the pain in her heart over hearing her mother essentially tell her that she wishes she was dead. 

 

it shouldn’t hurt, not after everything penelope and clifford have done to her, but just as cheryl screamed and cried when she found clifford blossom’s body hanging from the banister in the farm, cheryl feels nothing but emptiness at the knowledge, the revelation that truthfully, her mother doesn’t love her at all. 

 

she just disowned her and left her with _nothing._

 

_no, cheryl…not **nothing…**_

 

because while cheryl sits there, broken and defeated and wanting nothing more than for all of this to just simply _end_ , those thoughts that haven’t plagued her mind in over a year returning in full force with this sudden, depressing confrontation, toni pulls a suitcase out of her closet and begins packing some of her clothes, working diligently while simultaneously throwing continuous glances cheryl’s way, as if she’s worried the girl will disappear in a puff of smoke if she looks away for too long…

 

or perhaps she’s worried that cheryl will run straight to the bathroom, lock herself in and reach for the razorblade taped underneath one of the drawers.

 

it’s not like toni knows it’s there, but toni’s kissed those scars on her wrist so many times before, and they’ve _talked_ about it so many times before, cheryl would be stupid to think that toni wasn’t worried about her doing something like that right now…and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t tempted.

 

_god, if toni hadn’t showed up…_

 

“you came back…” cheryl finds herself whispering eventually, causing toni to drop a shirt of hers to the ground as she scurries across the room to the bed back to cheryl, brow furrowed in concern.

 

“what is it, cher?” she whispers, hands gripping the red haired girl’s as she bends down by her knees and presses a kiss to her knuckles. cheryl swallows the lump in her throat and tries again.

 

“you came back.” she says a little more strongly this time, and toni gives her the world’s most earth shattering smile as she pushes herself up and grips the back of cheryl’s neck to press a kiss to her forehead.

 

“of course i came back, baby…i never left. i just parked around the corner and waited for her to leave, but…fuck, i shouldn’t have left at all, cher, i should’ve fought harder-.”

 

cheryl raises a finger to her lips to silence her, a shaky smile forming as she shakes her head slowly.

 

_she’s worth sticking around for…_

 

“i asked you to l-leave…you d-did the right thing…” cheryl manages to say through shuddered breaths that wrack her whole chest violently. toni purses her lips, but says nothing more, just presses another kiss to her forehead.

 

“just relax, cher-bear. i’ll take care of everything, okay?” she murmurs. cheryl nods, letting out a deep sigh as toni moves back to her closet to continue her work.

 

cheryl stays quiet as toni moves around her room, packing anything and everything she can get her hands on, and eventually, the time for school comes and goes, neither of them even making a comment about it as toni eventually moves to the bathroom to begin packing the stuff in there as well.

 

and as much as cheryl appreciates what toni is doing for her, what she wants more than anything is for toni to just _stop._ to have toni bundle her up in her arms and hold her close, to feel the warmth from the pink haired serpent’s body, to feel _anything_ other than the cold that shakes her limbs and the fear and terror that clutches her throat, making it harder and harder to breathe by the second-

 

she has no family anymore. she hasn’t had one since jason was killed, but now…now it’s _real._

 

she wasn’t cheryl blossom anymore. she was just some lost, broken girl with no family, no home, no car, no money, nothing, nothing, _nothing-_

 

_toni, think about toni, **please god think about toni-**_

 

“cher-bear?” toni emerges from the bathroom, eyes falling onto cheryl’s trembling body sitting on the bed, uncontrollably shaking as she looks up at toni with wide eyes hauntingly, and toni’s own eyes immediately begin to glisten with tears as she drops cheryl’s toiletries and make up bag into the suitcase by the dresser before making her way over to the red haired girl.

 

“baby, it’s okay…shh…” toni brushes the tears falling down her cheeks away with the pads of her fingers, brushing them over cheryl’s quivering bottom lip before she sits down beside her and pulls cheryl into her lap with a heavy, deep sigh, arms curling under her knees while the other braces against her back.

 

cheryl curls her arms around toni’s neck, still only in her bra and panties and a robe, sobbing loudly into the caramel skin there as toni begins rocking her back and forth gently, hands brushing up and down her spine over the silk robe while kisses are pressed to every inch of her skin she can reach.

 

“i’m sorry, cher…i’m so sorry, baby.” 

 

she has nowhere to go. granted, toni wasn’t about to let her stay homeless, and she has no doubt that she’ll find solace in toni’s trailer for as long as the pink haired girl will have her, but cheryl can’t _live_ at the trailer park. she’s not a serpent, and if jughead was already giving toni a hard time about their relationship, god only knows what he’d do if he found out a non-serpent was living in toni’s trailer on serpent territory, and cheryl wasn’t about to cause toni problems with her family, she refused to destroy that for her favorite girl.

 

but what else is she supposed to do? she has _no one else._  
“t-toni, i…what do i d-do-.” cheryl chokes out, her tears too much for her to talk around, and toni shakes her head against her and coos softly as she rocks her back and forth harder with her hands soothing over her back and thighs affectionately.

 

“i don’t know, but we’re gonna figure it out together, baby, just keep breathing, okay? i’m right here, and i’m not gonna let anything else bad happen to you, cher-bear.” 

 

toni’s voice so filled with determination that it startles cheryl for a moment. she’s never had anyone care for so much before…it makes her feel like perhaps this is all a dream. that maybe, like the countless other times she received beatings from penelope, she’s still on the ground curled up into a ball and she’s entered a fantasy world like she always used to in order to cope with the pain, a fantasy world where someone would arrive in a chariot to take her away from her hideous family, a chariot that jason would join her in, the both of them leaving riverdale and their parents far behind…

 

the chariot never came. 

 

_no, but a girl with pink hair and a motorcycle did…_

 

she doesn’t want to do this to toni…add this pressure on her, but the way toni’s holding her so close, so tightly, cheryl doesn’t want her to ever, ever let her go. and yes, it’s selfish, but she’s a fucking selfish person and right now…god, right now, she just needs _something good…_

 

they sit there for at least over an hour, toni cradling cheryl in her arms while continuing to press kisses to her face, and when cheryl’s sobs have subsided into gentle whimpers and hiccups, toni pulls herself away from cheryl and settles her down on the bed slowly, cheryl whining from the loss of her and reaching out to grab her in fear that she’ll disappear, just grab her things and run out of that door, she’s probably scared the shit out of her, fuck, cheryl, you _idiot-_

 

toni simply brushes her hair back from her face and ducks down, lips pressing against her sweaty brow in a gentle kiss before she grabs her flailing hands and sets them down onto the bed.

 

“shh, i’m not going anywhere, cher, i’m just gonna finish packing your things so we can get you out of this hellhole, okay? i’m almost done packing for you, baby, just a few more things and then i’m all yours.” she whispers, the pain in her voice as evident on the pain on her face, and cheryl simply nods, has no idea what to even reply with as she curls up into a ball and watches toni continue packing her stuff, fitting as much as she possibly can into the two suitcases that were in cheryl’s closet.

 

second by agonizing second, her room begins to empty out, the perfumes on top of the dresser, the nail polishes and make up by the vanity packed into a bag…cheryl’s heart aches knowing that she’s leaving this room, likely to never return again. she has so many _good_ memories in this goddamn room…so many memories with _toni_ in this room…

 

everything that gave her something good has been taken from her. this room, her car…

 

_all material things, cheryl. you have **her** , don’t you? what’s stopping you from making more good memories? it’s not about the place, it’s about the **person** , you know that._

 

god, she knows these positive thoughts are coming from her experiences with toni, from the long hours talking with the pink haired serpent, trying to move past the pain and the grief to see the good things in life, to see the positives to every outcome…

 

the old her would’ve done something drastic by now.

 

_she’s changed so much for you, cheryl…screw thistlehouse, screw this room, you don’t need anyone but **her.**_

 

the red haired girl wipes away her tears and exhales shakily, and she hears toni grunting somewhere to the left of the room as two dull thuds echo out before there’s the sound of a zipper being closed. toni huffs before she finally enters cheryl’s line of vision, making her way over to the girl before she sits down on the bed beside her. she reaches her hand out, running her fingers through cheryl’s hair gently as cheryl simply stares straight ahead, lost and dazed and tired, god, so, so tired…

 

“where’s your car keys, baby?” toni asks softly, nails scratching at her scalp tenderly. 

 

cheryl’s heart sinks, a soft whimper escaping her at the thought that the impala, the last goddamn thing she had left of her brother’s, was no longer hers making her want to scream and cry and bang her fists onto the ground in sadness and grief, and toni must see her expression shift, must see how she sinks even lower into depression, because she bites down on her bottom lip and nods once before she’s reaching into her pocket for her phone. 

 

“i’ll message sweet pea and ask him if we can use his dad’s truck.” she murmurs simply, coming up with a solution so quickly, it almost gives cheryl whiplash, and cheryl doesn’t have it in her to argue with her. she doesn’t want anyone else to know about this, doesn’t want anyone to have more reason to stare and whisper about her, but she doesn’t have the energy to ask toni to stop, and it’s not like they can carry her suitcases on the back of toni’s bike. they have no other choice…

 

 _she_ has no other choice. 

 

she needs to get out of this house, it’s like the fucking negativity keeps hitting her in waves, she just wants to go wherever toni takes her, as long as toni’s with her, she’s safe, she’ll be okay…

 

the second toni finishes texting sweet pea, she sighs and scoots herself closer to cheryl until she’s laying down right beside her, sad eyes roaming over cheryl’s face with pursed lips and tears shining until she reaches a hand up to stroke her fingers over cheryl’s bruised and swollen cheek gently.

 

“does it hurt?” she croaks out.

 

cheryl’s eyes close at her touch, a shaky sigh escaping her as her bottom lip trembles, and she lies easily with a quick shake of her head, not wanting to scare toni or make her even more worried than she probably already is. truthfully, her cheek is _burning_ , but she can handle the pain, it’s nothing compared to other injuries she’s gotten from penelope blossom…

 

toni hooks her arms underneath cheryl’s and pulls her in until cheryl’s face is buried into her neck, soft whimpers escaping her as toni strokes her hand up and down cheryl’s back softly while she presses soft kisses to her hair.

 

“everything’s gonna be okay, cheryl…i promise, i’m gonna do everything in my power to make this okay…” toni rasps, voice slightly muffled with her lips pressed to red hair, and cheryl doesn’t know what else to do, simply nods against her and tries to take her words to gospel until toni pulls away from her and cradles her injured cheek in her hand once more.

 

toni’s eyes roam over her face before she gives her the warmest smile she can muster, and she leans forward and nuzzles her nose against cheryl’s affectionately, both their eyes closing from the intimacy of it all…

 

“i’m gonna look after you, cher-bear, okay? i promise, i’m gonna look after you.” she whispers hoarsely. 

 

god, that’s it, isn’t it? at the end of the day, has anyone ever bothered or even _tried_ to look after her?

 

cheryl simply nods again as she takes a shuddering breath in and leans in to capture toni’s lips with her own, desperate for the contact, for something other than pain to invade her body right now…

 

_she’s gonna look after you, cheryl…_

 

toni holds her close, kisses her slowly for a few moments before she pulls away, and cheryl’s heart breaks when she sees her sniff loudly, tears in her eyes as she licks her lips before she presses them to cheryl’s forehead.

 

“come on, baby, we’re gonna get some clothes on you and then we’re gonna wait downstairs for sweet pea.” she murmurs against her skin. cheryl nods numbly, unable to do anything else when toni’s fingers move down to brush over her neck, gentle and soft as she looks into cheryl’s eyes with worry.

 

“do you need your collar, cher? to keep you grounded?” she asks softly. cheryl swallows thickly, throat bobbing against toni’s fingers before she nods once, and toni doesn’t hesitate. she pushes herself up off the bed before she grips cheryl’s hands and helps her sit up on the bed. she drops to her knees and reaches under the bed for the box, cheryl exhaling shakily as she pulls it out and opens the lid before taking the collar out slowly. she looks up at cheryl with gentle eyes and equally gentle smile before she stands and sits back down beside her. 

 

cheryl looks down at the leather, the sight of it almost instantly relaxing her for reasons she still can’t explain, and she’s desperate to feel the lambskin on her neck, her gaze moving up to meet toni’s eyes before the pink haired serpent brushes her hair back softly. she wraps it around cheryl’s neck, leaning in to trail kisses up her jaw as she buckles it into place with nimble fingers, and cheryl simply finds her body collapsing forward into toni’s arms as soon as she’s done, hands resting on toni’s thighs as her forehead falls with a thunk on toni’s shoulder.

 

her breathing gets easier, the anxiety slowly beginning to ebb away with each intake of breath that causes her neck to brush against the lambskin, and toni kisses her ear, humming into it as she wraps her arms around her body tightly.

 

“come on, cher-bear. be strong for me, baby, let’s get you up and dressed, okay?” she murmurs, not pushing, not forcing, just suggesting, allowing cheryl to make the decision for herself, and cheryl finds herself nodding, digging her nails into toni’s thighs and pushing herself away with a hiccup and a sniff.

 

she won’t let this bring her down…she’ll mourn the loss of her home, her car, her money, but she refuses to mourn the loss of penelope blossom.

 

that woman’s caused her nothing but pain. and at the end of the day…god, all of that stuff was useless to her.

 

what was a life without love?

 

_love…_

 

toni smiles at her, and cheryl finds herself wondering how a simple moment of her walking up to toni in the parking lot of riverdale high has turned into all of this, turned into something she never could have even dreamed of having as toni reaches into the pocket of her serpent jacket and pulls out her pack of cigarettes.

 

“i know i shouldn’t be encouraging this, but i know it’s gonna help you calm down even more.” she says, handing her a cigarette with a lopsided smile, and cheryl grips the little cancer stick between her fingers before she bites down on her bottom lip and jumps off the bed. cheryl grips the silk robe and slides it off her body as toni ducks down and grabs cheryl’s clothes from last night from the floor.

 

“i’ve got your dirty clothes in there too from the hamper in a plastic bag, you can wash them when you get to mine, okay? i packed _everything_ , cher-bear. i’m surprised it all fit into two suitcases…” toni says with a light chuckle, smiling up at her as she holds the jeans open for cheryl to slip her legs into. she grips toni’s shoulders with a nod and a smile before stepping into them, and toni slides them up her legs and buttons them up before pulling the zip up and pressing a chaste kiss to cheryl’s bare stomach.

 

god, what would she do without toni topaz?

 

toni stands up straight and slides the shirt over cheryl’s head, and the clothes are still a little damp from the rain from yesterday, but cheryl finds she doesn’t mind. she just wants to get out of here as soon as possible…she wants to just be with toni in a place that doesn’t harbor so much pain for her…

 

toni grabs a cigarette of her own and takes cheryl’s hand, leading them over to the window sill where she sits down and pulls cheryl into her lap, back pressed to her chest as they light their cigarettes and take the moments to just… _relax._

 

“cher? are you okay?” toni asks after a few moments, voice soft in cheryl’s ear as the red head lets out a shaky sigh before replying.

 

“no…but i will be.” she manages to croak out, her throat aching with thirst and her eyes stinging with pain as toni presses a kiss to the back of her head gently.

 

“that’s my girl.” she whispers softly, bringing out a smile from cheryl that she can’t ignore as she sinks deeper into toni’s arms and closes her eyes, forces herself to acknowledge that despite everything that’s been taken from her, she still has _this._

 

and penelope blossom can’t touch it, no matter how hard she tries to.

 

they stay by the window sill for a good forty five minutes, wrapped in each other and smoking cigarettes until toni’s phone buzzes loudly, and cheryl watches her glance down at it where it’s resting on the window sill before she’s smiling and gripping cheryl’s hand tightly as the red haired girl turns in her arms.

 

“sweet pea’s here with his dad’s truck, baby. can i ask him to come inside and help me load the suitcases?” she asks lightly. cheryl simply nods once, and toni smiles and tucks a lock of hair behind her ear before she jumps off the window sill, dragging cheryl along with her as she leads her to the bedroom door and down the stairs. cheryl takes in the home around her with each harrowing step for what she’s sure will be the last time, her throat thick and her eyes stinging with more tears as pushes through the pain and focuses on the feeling of toni’s hand in her own.

 

toni leads them down the stairs before she reaches for the front door and pulls it open.

 

sweet pea is just getting out of his father’s truck which is parked beside the impala, cheryl’s heart aching painfully at the sight of that beautiful, beautiful car…

 

“what’s up, tiny?” fangs asks gruffly as he exits from the passenger side. toni sighs and runs her fingers through her hair before she jerks her thumb behind her toward the house, but cheryl’s barely paying any attention, her eyes still on the car.

 

she doesn’t want to lose the car, her last moments with jason were spent in that car, she asked toni to be her girlfriend in that fucking car-

 

“i need help carrying cheryl’s suitcases down the stairs.” toni says simply, pulling cheryl out of her thoughts. fangs looks at her in surprise and exchanges a glance with sweet pea, who simply blinks once before he looks at cheryl with a raised eyebrow.

 

“red’s moving in?” he asks with a wicked grin, but toni chews on her lower lip and shakes her head.

 

“she just needs a place to stay.” she murmurs somberly. sweet pea’s smile falls, and cheryl can’t even bring it in herself to look him in the eyes, her gaze dropping down to her feet while both boys watch her in despair before they sigh.

 

“alright, whatever we can do to help. where’s her room?” fangs asks.

 

“i’ll take you. do you wanna stay here, cher-bear?” toni asks softly, and cheryl simply shakes her head and squeezes toni’s hand, finally pulling her focus away from the goddamn car.

 

it was bought with blossom money, and no matter how many good memories exist from it, she doesn’t _want_ it anymore. material things, all material things…

 

“i…i wanna say goodbye.” she whispers hoarsely, unable to stop the hundreds of thoughts racing through her mind. where is she going to go, how is she going to afford to live without a job, what’s going to happen to her now that she has no family, no inheritance, all these questions, fuck-

 

toni knows. she just fucking _knows_ , because she reaches up and brushes her fingers over the collar and cheryl’s neck before she leans in and whispers into her ear.

 

“control, cheryl. you’ve got this, bombshell.” she says softly. cheryl lets the shiver that runs up her spine go as she purses her lips and nods, and toni presses a kiss to her temple before she nods at sweet pea and fangs.

 

“follow us.” 

 

cheryl tries not to think about how much worse things will be for her if her mother ever finds out that she’s invited two more southside serpents into her home, but her cheek pounds with pain, reminding her that her mother has disowned her, has left her homeless with no money and no direction anymore, and that thought alone has her gritting her teeth and closing her eyes as she moves up the stairs on autopilot and stands by the door of her room while two southside serpent boys walk in and look around in awe.

 

“damn, this room is bigger than my trailer.” fangs guffaws as sweet pea nods along slowly.

 

“it’s not my room anymore.” cheryl deadpans, the words hurting less than she expected them to being sad out loud and causing fangs’s smile to fall as toni slaps him up the back of the head angrily.

 

“dude, just…the suitcases, please.” she sighs, running her fingers through her hair as sweet pea and fangs both sigh loudly before bending down to lift the two suitcases into their arms. 

 

“get them in the back of the truck, we’ll be down in a minute.” toni tells them, and they nod and march on, making their way down the stairs with loud grunts of exertion, but not a single complaint as toni bites her lip and looks to cheryl anxiously.

 

“do you want a second alone, cher-bear?” she asks softly, reaching out to grip her hand, and cheryl licks her lips before she shakes her head, pulling toni into her room with her before she looks around the place slowly and takes in the rose colored walls, the four poster bed, the vanity she’s spent countless hours fixing her face in front of before she moves over to the bathroom, opening the door slightly and looking down at the ground she almost bled out on with a wince and a sharp intake of breath. 

 

_it’s just a room, cheryl…_

 

doesn’t stop it from hurting. 

 

toni’s hands grip her shoulders, squeezing gently and reassuringly, and cheryl leans into her touch and closes her eyes, tries not to focus on the way her crimson blood had marked the white tiles of the bathroom, tries not to think about how tempted she was this morning to do it all over again until toni had come in and pretty much saved her once again…

 

_you have toni, cheryl. that’s all you need…_

 

she exhales shakily and grips toni’s hands on her shoulders with a sigh and a firm nod.

 

“come on, t.t. let’s get out of here.” 

 

\---------------------

 

the fan above them ticks loudly with each rotation, and truthfully, it’s driving cheryl mad, but she’s too exhausted to make a comment about it.

 

it’s also providing her with some much needed air, so cheryl bares her teeth and tries her best to ignore the sound, focusing instead on toni’s arm wrapped around her slim waist as she nuzzles her nose into the back of cheryl’s head affectionately with a soft hum.

 

cheryl doesn’t really know how long they’ve been lying on toni’s bed for, doesn’t really know how long it’s been since they left thistlehouse behind and came to toni’s trailer, because the second they arrived, toni had grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and handed it to cheryl, who had drained the whole thing within a few gulps thirstily before she had led her to where they are now, lying her down on the bed and cuddling close to her with soft words of comfort.

 

cheryl hasn’t shed a tear since they left the blossom estate. maybe she’s too tired to cry, or maybe her emotions are so fried, she doesn’t even know what it’s like to be upset anymore. either way, she’s content.

 

feeling toni’s breath against her skin, feeling her warmth and the touch of her fingers on her skin as she brushes them over her stomach under her shirt, it’s hard for her to feel anything but content.

 

she may no longer have a home or a family name or money, but with toni pressed so tightly against her, it doesn’t seem to really matter anymore.

 

“baby?” toni’s voice sounds in her ear, raspy from lack of use, and cheryl grips the wrist of the hand around her waist, giving it a gentle squeeze in reply. she doesn’t trust herself to talk right now…she doesn’t want to burst into tears, she’s so sick of crying in front of toni all the time…

 

full, plump lips press to her ear before toni’s soft voice fills it.

 

“do you wanna talk about what happened?” 

 

cheryl sucks a deep breath in through her nose, her heart racing against her chest as she closes her eyes and immediately feels the tears begin to well in them, memories of her mother’s contorted face of disgust and her raised, angered voice filling her mind and causing her to tremble slightly.

 

no. no, she doesn’t want to talk about it. but she knows she has to…

 

toni tightens her hold on her, pulling her closer until her back is pressed against toni’s chest, that incessant fan continuing to tick above them-

 

“you can’t keep it bottled up, cher-bear. haven’t you learned that in the last two months we’ve known each other?” toni whispers, her lips dropping down to press gentle kisses to the space between her neck and shoulder. 

 

god, she knows, she _knows_ that, but she doesn’t want to relive the pain of it all, not when it’s so fresh in her mind…

 

“i just…i really care about you, cheryl…i don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk to me-.”

 

“no-.” the word comes out choked and garbled, her throat aching as her neck itches, and she reaches her fingers up to itch the scratch beneath her collar as she shakes her head and clears her throat.

 

“i know i can talk to you, t.t. i just…” cheryl breathes, her throat closing up as toni goes to move, but cheryl grips her tighter with a whine, pulling her closer with another shake of her head as toni sighs into her ear and brushes her hair back from her neck gently. 

 

silence once again until-

 

“what happened, cheryl?” toni asks again. 

 

and so, cheryl tells her. she stays on her side and refuses to face toni as she tells her _everything._ she tells her about yesterday, about her confrontation with veronica, about what she said about toni, accusing her of abuse when cheryl would only fall victim to it the next morning by her mother’s hand and not the southside serpent’s, tells her what her mother said, how she slapped her three times without flinching once, each impact harder than the last…

 

toni listens obediently, her grip on cheryl only tightening with each passing moment, each reveal of the torture she’s been through in the last twenty four hours causing toni to press more kisses to any inch of skin she can reach, making her feel cared for, making her feel _safe…_

 

making her feel looked after. 

 

it’s an odd and different feeling, knowing someone else cares for you so deeply, but it’s not unwelcome…not at all.

 

when she finishes talking, toni sniffs loudly, and the sound makes cheryl’s heart ache as she takes a deep breath in and decides, for once, to just be fucking _brave._

 

she rolls onto her back until she’s looking into toni’s eyes.

 

eyes that are shining with tears that roll down her reddened cheeks, her bottom lip trembling as she reaches her hand up to brush her thumb over the bruise that’s making cheryl’s cheek swell up more and more, nothing but heartbreak pounding through the both of them at cheryl’s pain.

 

“don’t cry…” cheryl begs, her own voice shaking as tears fall down the sides of her face into her hair. toni whimpers before she’s leaning in and replacing the thumb brushing over her cheek with her lips, the softness of them making the heated skin cool almost immediately as cheryl closes her eyes and curls a hand around the back of toni’s neck, scratching gently at the skin there.

 

toni spends a full minute pressing gentle kisses to every single inch of skin that’s marked black and blue before she pulls back and looks into cheryl’s eyes, the red haired girl wiping away the tears on toni’s cheeks with a sad smile.

 

“cheryl, i…” toni pauses for a moment, her eyes filled with slight panic before she exhales shakily and bends down to kiss her, pillowy lips capturing cheryl’s bottom one in the softest kiss cheryl’s ever received from the pink haired serpent. cheryl responds eagerly, hands reaching up to grip toni’s face before the girl pulls back slightly and presses a kiss to the tip of her nose.

 

“i’m so sorry…i wish i could take your pain away-.”

 

“you are, toni. just by being here, just by holding me…you are.” cheryl croaks out, nuzzling her nose against toni’s as the pink haired girl brushes her fingers up and down cheryl’s sides under her shirt. toni smiles before she’s gripping cheryl’s wrist and pressing kisses to the scars on the inside of her wrist, and cheryl freezes against her for a moment before she licks her lips and looks up at her softly.

 

she doesn’t want to tell her, she doesn’t want to _worry_ her, but she can’t keep this from her, she just can’t. she needs to talk to toni about this, needs the pink haired serpent to help her move past these thoughts, the temptation…it doesn't just fade after one failed attempt, no matter how stupid cheryl felt afterwards, those feelings are still fucking _there..._

 

“toni…” she chokes out on the word, unable to get any more of them out because she knows, she _knows_ toni will struggle with this, will look at her with fear and pity and she doesn’t want that. she doesn’t want to scare toni, but if this girl has taught her anything in the last two months, it’s that _talking_ about how she’s feeling is the only thing that will heal her.

 

“toni, p-please…please don’t get upset when i t-tell you this…” cheryl’s voice is shaking so badly, but toni is looking at her with so much concern and worry, that cheryl finds herself blurting the words out before she can stop herself.

 

“i…i wanted it all to end.” cheryl breathes. toni’s brow furrows, fingers still dancing up and down cheryl’s sides, and the red haired girl averts her gaze, unable to look her girlfriend in the eyes as she confesses the truth.

 

“i…had that feeling again. the one i had when…” cheryl trails off, unable to go further, but she glances at the scars on her wrist, and that quick look alone has toni catching on, her fingers brushing over the scars on her wrist until she’s using her other hand to grip cheryl’s chin between her fingers, forcing her gaze to toni’s.

 

toni stares at her for a long time with eyes that cheryl can’t begin to read, and it causes panic to build up in her despite the fact that there’s not an ounce of judgement shining in toni’s eyes, and god, cheryl’s so thankful for it. she feels nothing but shame, nothing but sadness and fear that those thoughts so easily filled her mind once again from just the smallest set back-

 

_this was not a small set back, cheryl. your mother fucking disowned you._

 

cheryl’s teeth gnaw at her bottom lip as she blinks back tears, eyes still boring into toni’s as the panic continues to build until the girl leans in and presses a kiss to the corner of her mouth.

 

“we should’ve left riverdale last night when you asked, cher-bear.” toni whispers weakly, tears falling down her cheeks. 

 

cheryl blinks a few times before she snorts with laughter, and then she’s crying, hysterically and all at once, her chest heaving and her eyes stinging as toni chokes on a sob of her own and sits beside the red haired girl before grabbing her and pulling her into her lap, cheryl’s back pressed against toni’s chest as she holds her closes and rocks her sideways gently.

 

“shh…it’s okay…” toni whispers, lips touching cheryl’s temple as the girl swallows thickly and shakes her head with thick tears streaming down her face.

 

god, how she wishes they had left riverdale far behind last night, too, but toni had told her that running from her problems wouldn’t solve anything and ultimately…what would it solve? absolutely nothing…

 

but the fact that toni’s saying that, saying that they should’ve left, insinuating that she’d leave the serpents and this whole life behind for cheryl…god, it’s too much, too much _good_ to exist in one person-

 

“n-no, you w-were r-right. i c-can’t k-keep running from my p-problems!” she manages to gasp out, her head aching with everything that’s happened in the last twenty four hours all the tears she’s shed because of them, but that one statement ringing through.

 

she needs to start facing things head on. she can’t just avoid the things that make her upset…

 

_veronica…josie…betty…_

 

god, she’s been nothing but horrible to them, hasn’t she? as much as she’s still pissed off with veronica for even daring to accuse toni of abusing her, god, the only reason she did is because of the bruises on cheryl’s skin, and now that she thinks about it…

 

she’s been so distant from them, even more so lately than after jason’s death, and she’s been snapping at them without even giving them a chance to talk…no wonder they thought that toni was controlling her, likely telling her to stay away from them when the truth is, it’s all been cheryl.

 

she’s caused the very thing that toni was afraid of happening to happen.

 

_breathe, cheryl…one problem at a time…_

 

“i…i need to talk to v-veronica and josie and b-betty, t.t. i’ve been so cruel to them when the truth is, they _do care_ about me…they just have a shit way of showing it.” cheryl whispers. toni inhales sharply before she presses a kiss to cheryl’s brow and nods slowly.

 

“good. you need your friends, cheryl…now more than ever. but don't let them get away with how they've treated you, either. tell them about how they’re treating you makes you feel, okay? don’t just forgive them without letting them know the truth…” toni murmurs. cheryl purses her lips before she nods once, and toni sighs deeply against her before she presses a kiss to the back of her head.

 

“i’m so proud of you, cheryl, but…i just want to take you away from all of this pain, i hate seeing you like this, baby…” toni croaks out, her chin resting on cheryl’s shoulder as their arms intertwine around cheryl’s waist tightly while the girl continues taking in massive gulps of air. toni’s thumb is brushing over her scars again, and cheryl’s sobs turn into soft whimpers as toni presses a kiss to her ear and exhales shakily.

 

“cheryl, you’re not alone anymore, okay? and it scares the holy hell out of me that you were thinking of hurting yourself again…i need you to promise me that next time you think like that, you’ll talk to me about it. please, cher, you don’t understand, i…” toni trails off, her voice wavering in cheryl’s ear as she holds her impossibly closer with her thumb still brushing over the scars on her wrist.

 

“i can’t lose you, cher-bear. these last two months, god, they’ve been the best of my life and it’s all because of _you._ it’s all because i finally found someone i connect with, someone i can talk to about how i’m feeling without being scared of sounding weak…and i know you feel the same way about me.” 

 

cheryl doesn’t hesitate, nods against toni as she nuzzles against the side of her face and sinks further into her arms, wishing more than anything she could get the words out to describe just how much toni has fucking _done_ for her from the second their eyes met that day in the hallways of riverdale high, but toni presses a kiss to her temple again before she sighs against her, and cheryl knows she has more to say, refuses to interrupt her as she listens obediently.

 

“you don’t have to go through this alone anymore, cheryl…let me help you shoulder your pain, okay? and please…please, baby, don’t…don’t hurt yourself, not just for m-me but for yourself, b-because you’re so b-beautiful, cheryl, the w-world c-can’t lose you-.” toni chokes on a sob, and cheryl shakes her head as tears fall down both their faces before she turns in her arms and grips toni’s face in her hands, kissing her and pushing her down onto the bed, settling between her legs with her tears splashing onto toni’s face as the girl grips her sides and pulls her closer with a whine against her lips. 

 

“cheryl, i…” toni pulls away from her with a loud gasp, and cheryl brushes pink hair back from a sweaty forehead before toni lets out three words that change her entire world.

 

“i love you.” 

 

The words escape in a hushed breath, shaky and almost fearful, but there’s an undeniable energy in the tone they’re said in. an undeniable grain of truth that those three words are perhaps…perhaps the truest that antoinette topaz has ever spoken.

 

cheryl’s entire brain just short circuits, her eyes blinking rapidly on their own accord as she hiccups slightly, causing toni to look up at her with nothing but adoration shining in those tear filled eyes.

 

“i…i know it’s so soon, we’ve only been seeing each other for like two months, but this…this thing we have, cher-bear, it’s indescribable. i have never, ever met anyone like you before…and i know in my heart i never will. you’ve been through so much, cheryl, and yet the heart you have…it’s filled with so much pain but so much light, i…” toni trails off, her voice quaking and raspy as she swallows and reaches a hand up to brush cheryl’s hair back from her face gently with a soft smile.

 

“you had me from day one, bombshell. the second i laid eyes on you, i fell in love with you. and maybe it’s a cliché, the whole ‘love at first sight’ bullshit, but fuck, if i didn’t feel my heart start to beat with every breath you take from that day onwards…” toni shakes her head almost in disbelief before she’s grabbing one of cheryl’s hands and resting it over her chest, where cheryl can feel how fucking fast toni’s heart is beating beneath the bone and the flesh-

 

she loves her. 

 

toni _loves_ her.

 

“you don’t have to say it back, i-.”

 

cheryl silences her with a bruising kiss, hands tangling in toni’s pink hair as the girl whimpers and deepens the kiss before she’s rolling cheryl over onto her back on the springy mattress that smells like a mixture of vodka and tequila, but right now, cheryl wouldn’t be anywhere else but here.

 

she pulls away from toni breathlessly before she looks into her eyes and just lets herself say it.

 

“i love you, too, toni.” the pink haired serpent looks up at her in complete and utter shock and awe before she’s whimpering again, her bottom lip quivering as she bites down on it and brushes her fingers up and down cheryl’s sides.

 

“you do?” she breathes in disbelief. cheryl smiles up at her softly, nothing but that _exact_ emotion hitting her as she just…lets go.

 

“of course i do, toni. do you understand how much you’ve changed my life, how much you’ve done for me these last two months? i…i spent so long trying to find something to live for, but you taught me how to live for _myself._ as much…as much as those thoughts still fill my mind, toni, i keep pushing forward because _you taught me how._ ” cheryl croaks out, fingers tracing over toni’s brows, her lips, her jaw, her nose, every inch of her face affectionately and adoringly…

 

“everything i do from this moment forward in my life is because of you. so of course i love you, t.t. after everything we’ve shared with each other…after everything you’ve told me about yourself…i was a lost cause from the second you stripped and bared your soul to me.” the words come out all jumbled and not at all eloquent like cheryl wants them to, her excitement over confessing her love for toni getting the better of her, but her girlfriend doesn’t seem to mind, because she hooks a finger into cheryl’s collar and pulls her toward her lips, kissing her deeply with one hand tangling in her hair before she pulls away and bumps her forehead against cheryl’s lightly.

 

“i don’t know about you, cher-bear, but…i feel like we were made for this. for each other.” 

 

god, those words spark something inside cheryl, the girl unable to stop herself from crashing her lips to toni’s, relishing in the feeling of full lips pushing and pulling against hers as the realization quickly dawns on her.

 

it doesn’t matter if penelope’s disowned her. doesn’t matter that she no longer carries the name ‘blossom’. doesn’t matter if she has no car, no money, no family, no home…

 

she’s with someone she _loves_ for the first time in her entire life.

 

and if this is what she’s been missing out on, then fuck, is she going to make sure she doesn’t spend a single second without it anymore.

 

“i don’t just feel it, toni. i _know_ it.” 

 

toni topaz loves her. and she loves toni topaz.

 

and really, with that knowledge now locked firmly in her brain as she relishes in the giggles that escape toni’s mouth while she presses kisses to every inch of her face she can reach…

 

with that knowledge now obtained, there isn’t a single thing in this life that can bring her down, not even abusive mothers and losing everything she had. 

 

all she needs is love. 

 

and with that energy coming off of little toni topaz with each kiss she presses to cheryl's lips, it's hard to care about _anything_ but that. 

 

_she loves you, cheryl. she really fucking loves you. so why the fuck would you need anything else when you've got **this?**_


	13. what a win/win situation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> merry christmas guys, i'm sorry for how long this one has taken to come out :( but i hope you enjoy it, it's only a little angsty, but it's mostly a showcase of how pure toni and cheryl's relationship is tbh *shrug emoji*
> 
> oh, also, return of the smut!
> 
> this fic is gonna be ending in a couple of chapters, just so you know, but i'll leave the sappy stuff for when that happens, yeah?
> 
> love you guys, leave comments letting me know what you think, or you can yell at me on twitter at @endofdaysforme. bye now, and happy holidays once again!

the sound of soft giggles fills the tiny trailer before toni topaz hangs the last photo of cheryl blossom up onto the wall, a photo of her on the football field of riverdale high with the most dazzling smile on her face as she brushes the hair back from her face, the light from the sun shining behind her.

 

cheryl has a whole wall dedicated to her now.

 

“you better hope no strangers come in here, toni. they’ll think you’re my stalker.” she teases, but she’s looking up at the wall with nothing but awe, taking in each photo with her heart warming at the sight of them as toni moves behind her and wraps her arms around her waist, leaning up on the tips of her toes to rest her chin on cheryl’s shoulder.

 

“mmm, no one’s allowed in here but you, baby.” she murmurs, kissing the back of her ear tenderly as cheryl hums softly and closes her eyes with a smile, leaning into her touch. 

 

toni has done _nothing_ but support her for the last few days while she’s been getting acclimated to not being at thistlehouse anymore, and cheryl’s never been more thankful to call toni topaz her girlfriend.

 

toni’s trailer is small and not at all what cheryl is used to, big homes and lavish mansions with over ten rooms, but surprisingly, cheryl doesn’t mind living here. not when she’s woken up every morning since moving in here to either toni’s arms wrapped around her, or the sound of her singing softly in the kitchen while she cooked them breakfast.

 

it’s been _amazing._ and god, has it been helping her deal with the pain of losing her home, her money, _and_ her mother forever.

 

it still hurts, and cheryl’s quite sure it never will stop hurting…but the pain lessens with each passing day, and it’s all thanks to the pink haired girl holding her right now. 

 

truth be told, cheryl hasn’t had a family since the day jason was killed by her father, and maybe even before then. maybe, truthfully, she’s never actually had a family at all…not a good one, anyway.

 

now she can change that. 

 

“i love you, cheryl.” toni whispers into her ear. cheryl smiles, looking up at the photos before she tilts her head to the side and presses a kiss to toni’s temple.

 

“and i love you, toni. but…there’s something we need to talk about.” cheryl licks her lips, feeling a little nervous about the topic she wants to broach, but she knows she needs to talk about it.

 

toni’s had to go grocery shopping twice now to get more food for them, and cheryl knows she’s not exactly earning the best money at the whyte wyrm…she’s eating away at toni’s finances, and she’s not okay with it.

 

cheryl’s still not sure if she’s going to stay here permanently or find a place of her own, but regardless, she knows she needs to find a job in order to start supporting herself and/or to help toni with the bills and everything else.

 

the thought itself _terrifies_ her. she’s never had a job before, clifford and penelope refused to even entertain the idea and truthfully, cheryl’s always thought a job was beneath her. it’s not like she ever foresaw the possibility of losing all her money…

 

but that’s exactly what’s happened. she needs money, and the only way she’s going to get that…

 

“i need a job, toni. i refuse to be a freeloader living in your home, and if i decide to get a place of my own, i’m going to need to be earning a steady paycheck. i…i was wondering if the whyte wyrm is hiring anyone?” cheryl asks sheepishly, turning in toni’s arms to face her and wrapping her arms around her neck. toni settles her arms around cheryl’s waist, her eyes wide, but a soft smile playing on her lips before she frowns and lets out a sad sigh.

 

“i’m sorry, cher-bear, but the wyrm only allows serpents inside, it’s a private bar. but i did see a ‘help wanted’ sign posted outside pop’s diner the other day…” toni murmurs, looking up at her with a grin as cheryl blinks once in surprise.

 

oh god…waitressing? 

 

she finds herself groaning, and toni laughs loudly before she leans up to press a kiss to her neck.

 

“beggars can’t be choosers, baby. besides, i think you’ll look cute in that yellow uniform.” she teases, slapping a palm over cheryl’s backside and causing the girl to stare down at her with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

 

“hmm…i’ll have a talk with pop tate tomorrow when we have dinner with josie, veronica and betty.” she mumbles. toni’s smile instantly fades, a frown of concern taking over her features.

 

“are you sure you’re ready for that, cher?” toni asks softly.

 

cheryl takes a deep breath in before exhaling slowly and nodding. 

 

toni and cheryl haven’t been to school since that tuesday afternoon when cheryl had run out after her argument with veronica, josie and betty, and surprisingly, all three girls have been sending her messages every day asking if she’s okay. cheryl had sent them simple messages saying she was safe, but toni had pointed out that it was only going to make them more worried, so cheryl had messaged them all asking them to meet up with her on sunday for dinner so she could not only finally put to rest all these rumors and speculations about her relationship, but could also work toward fixing her friendship with her three closest friends.

 

“i need to make this right, toni. i don’t want them to think you’re not good for me when you’ve been…god, you’ve been so amazing.” cheryl whispers, reaching a hand up to cradle toni’s cheek tenderly with a sad smile. toni returns a smile of her own before she presses a kiss to the palm of cheryl’s hand, her fingers curling around her wrist gently.

 

“of course, cher-bear. i’m with you every step of the way. and even though i have a serpent meeting to go to tomorrow night…i’ll be there. i’ll just tell sweet pea to fill me in on anything i miss out.” toni reassures her. cheryl smiles and leans in to press a soft kiss to her lips before she pulls away.

 

jughead had messaged toni about an emergency serpent meeting tomorrow night this morning, and cheryl feels bad about pulling toni away from her serpent duties, but toni doesn’t seem to be bothered by it. 

 

“i’m not gonna leave you to handle those three on your own, cher-bear. i can be a little late, jughead can fuck off if he doesn’t like it.” toni had grumbled, and cheryl couldn’t help but smile when she’d heard it.

 

“mmm, you’re amazing.” cheryl repeats, leaning in to kiss toni’s lips gently before the kiss turns more heated. toni digs her fingers into cheryl’s sides, nails scratching at her skin as cheryl breathes into the kiss and pushes toni back towards the bed slowly. toni curls her fingers into cheryl’s pajama shirt, pulling her down as she falls back against the bed until she’s lying down on it and cheryl’s resting between her legs. 

 

it’s been _days_ since they’ve even touched each other, and now that cheryl’s slowly starting to feel like herself again…

 

she wants her. she wants her so _badly…_

 

“toni…” cheryl breathes against her lips, trailing down to her jawline and kissing her skin softly as her hands move under toni’s shirt to scratch down her skin gently. toni arches up into her touch with a breathless pant, humming in content and causing cheryl to smile as the vibrations hit her lips.

 

cheryl makes quick work of her shirt, pulling it up and over her head before throwing it over the side of the bed as toni giggles and wraps her arms around cheryl’s neck, pulling her down for another bruising kiss as her legs wrap around cheryl’s waist lightly. 

 

“mmm, cher, do you wanna slow down-.”

 

“not at all. do you?” cheryl whispers hurriedly, eagerly scratching at the skin of toni’s back to get her to lift it so she can take of her bra. toni laughs and obeys, arching her back so cheryl can unclip her bra with two fingers before she’s practically ripping it off the girl’s body, eagerly leaning down and attaching her lips to the newly exposed skin.

 

“not at all.” toni teases breathlessly, whining as cheryl immediately closes her lips around her left nipple, tongue flattening over the hardened bud as the other hand squishes the flesh of her right breast harshly. 

 

“fuck, cher…” toni scratches at the back of her head lightly, tightening her hand into a fist and gripping her hair as she pushes cheryl further down against her chest to keep her there. cheryl smiles against her skin, sliding her free arm under toni’s body and pulling her up off the bed to get as much of her into her mouth as possible, and toni’s hips buck up impatiently against her waist, legs tightening as she pants breathlessly with want. 

 

“i’ve missed your body…” cheryl murmurs against her skin, moving her lips up to suck at the pink haired girl’s pulse point with nothing but harsh teeth and insistent lips, and toni cups cheryl’s face with her hands and pulls her up to her lips with a moan, kissing her deeply and passionately as cheryl begins fiddling with the drawstring of her pajama pants. she hooks her fingers into them before she separates her lips from toni’s, making her way down slowly until she’s landing on her knees beside the bed with toni’s legs dangling off the side of it. 

 

toni props herself up onto her elbows with a grin as cheryl looks up at her with a smirk and slowly pulls down her pajama pants, flinging them across the bed before looking up at toni with a raised eyebrow.

 

“back on the mattress, kitten.” she purrs, causing toni to bite down on her lower lip before she’s slowly lowering herself down with a shaky exhale of anticipation. cheryl can feel the goosebumps that explode up toni’s thighs as she hooks them over her shoulders and sits up higher on her knees before she curls her finger into the side of toni’s underwear, pulling it to the side and leaning in with a deep breath.

 

she slackens her jaw before flattening her tongue and sliding it up toni’s center, the tip of her tongue flicking against toni’s clit and causing the girl to groan loudly before she’s fisting her fingers through cheryl’s hair.

 

“baby…keep going!” toni pants out, bucking her hips into cheryl’s mouth and causing the red head to grin as she rests her hands on top of her hipbones and pushes her back down onto the bed, using her right hand to curl down and pull toni’s underwear to the side once more so she can gain access to where toni _needs_ her-

 

“take them off!” toni groans out, but cheryl chuckles and ignores her, causing toni to whine in frustration before she’s propping herself up onto her elbows and reaching out to brush her fingers through cheryl’s hair.

 

“cher-.”

 

cheryl scratches her nails down toni’s stomach in reprimand before she pulls away and looks up at her with a raised eyebrow.

 

“back against the mattress, toni.” she reiterates sternly, and toni bites down on her lower lip, but stays right where she is, shaking her head slightly and smiling around her teeth.

 

“if i don’t want to?” she breathes, staring at cheryl with nothing but lust, and the red haired girl smirks before she lets go of toni’s underwear and shrugs.

 

“if that’s what you want-.”

 

“wait, no!” toni digs her heels into cheryl’s upper back before she can even begin to stand, pushing her back down as cheryl grunts in surprise and rests her hands on toni’s hips to steady herself with a laugh. toni looks at her with a pout before she’s settling back down onto the bed and resting her hands on top of cheryl’s.

 

“i’ll behave. i promise.” she says, grinning at cheryl as her head falls back on the mattress, and cheryl simply raises an eyebrow before she falls to her knees again and pulls toni’s underwear to the side, getting right back to work. 

 

she licks long, broad strokes up and down toni's center, bringing her closer and closer to her climax in a rush of minutes that have cheryl staring up at the heaving chest of toni topaz with nothing but want. her hands grope flesh and skin eagerly, unable to get enough of the girl beneath her as her tongue continues lapping against her in a change between quick and slow, leaving toni balancing on the edge for the longest time as if she's caught in a riptide, head surfacing every once in a while only to be dunked back under-

 

"cheryl, right-ugh, _there_ , keep going-."

 

cheryl obeys, listens to the way toni's body thrums beneath her, the way her inner thighs heat up as her tongue flattens out once more until toni’s back is arching off the bed and her nails are digging into the back of cheryl’s hands, her whole body shaking as she cries out in pleasure, and cheryl smiles against her happily, feeling accomplished as the girl bucks her hips up into her face to ride out her orgasm. she cleans toni up dutifully, licking up any ounce of arousal on toni’s center and thighs before she’s letting go of her underwear all together and making her way up toni’s body with gentle kisses.

 

toni collapses onto the bed with a breathless pant, her brow furrowed and her eyes closed as she wraps her arms around cheryl’s neck and pulls her down to her naked body roughly. cheryl falls against her with a grunt before she’s giggling as toni presses kisses to every inch of her face before she’s kissing her deeply, moaning lightly at the taste of herself on the red head’s lips.

 

“mmm, that was amazing, cher-bear. didn’t expect you to get so bossy…” toni murmurs against her lips. cheryl hesitates before she pulls away and looks at her with worry, biting down on her lower lip.

 

she wasn’t expecting it either, but she kind of _liked_ it-

 

“i’m sorry, t.t., i know you prefer being in charge of things-.”

 

“no, no! don’t worry about it, baby, it was great! _you’re_ great…and amazing…and beautiful…and absolutely _perfect._ ” toni whispers, pressing kisses to her face with every description until cheryl’s blushing, her cheeks flushed as she licks her lips and tucks toni’s hair behind her ear.

 

perfect, toni just called her _perfect-_

 

“i’m hardly perfect, toni…” she murmurs, biting down on her lower lip, and toni sighs and brushes her thumb underneath to get her to release it.

 

“mmm, you are to me, cher-bear. perfect for _me._ i love you, always remember that, okay?” she says softly, leaning up to press a kiss between her eyes as cheryl smiles and closes her own at her touch.

 

she was perfect to _toni._ after years of chasing perfection and finally letting go of the idea of it even being possible, here was this girl who has crash landed into her life, taken one look at her and gotten to know her and decided she's _perfect for her._

 

“i love you too, toni.” she croaks out. toni hums against her skin before she pulls back, and cheryl smiles down at her, nothing but happiness coursing through her body before she remembers just what’s in store for her tomorrow…

 

her friends. a confrontation that can go either way…

 

cheryl sighs, leaning down to rest her chin on toni’s collarbone before as she looks up at her with a slight pout before she confesses what she’s feeling.

 

because that’s what their relationship is about. they always talk to each other about _everything._

 

_i’m so lucky…so, so lucky…_

 

“toni, can you promise me you’ll let me handle things tomorrow? i want you to be there to hold my hand, but…i also want to do this on my own.” cheryl murmurs, dropping a kiss to her collarbone before looking back up at her with a smile, and toni returns it, smiling down at her softly before she nods slowly.

 

“of course, cher-bear. whatever you need. i’ll be a silent observer. i just wanna make sure you tell them everything you’re feeling, too.” toni says firmly, reaching under her shirt to scratch her nails down her back affectionately. cheryl nods in agreement, because that’s exactly what she plans to do.

 

she’s going to tell veronica, josie and betty the truth for once…she just hopes they don’t decide all her pain and suffering isn’t worth being her friend for anymore…

 

“i will. i promise.” cheryl whispers. toni grins and presses a quick kiss to her lips before she pulls back and looks at her playfully.

 

“good. so…your turn?”

 

\------------

 

“so, what did he say?”

 

cheryl chuckles as toni jumps up and down in her seat at their booth excitedly, and she can’t help but grin back widely as she collapses down beside her girlfriend and gives her a simple nod, dropping their milkshakes in front of them as she does.

 

“i start my first shift after school tomorrow!” cheryl says proudly with a wide grin, and toni claps her hands with a cheer before she grips cheryl’s face in her hands and kisses her deeply. cheryl giggles against her, gripping her elbows and pulling her closer before toni pulls away and brushes her thumbs over her cheekbones gently, her eyes shining with tears that have cheryl's heart pounding against her chest.

 

“i’m so proud of you, cher-bear. and i can’t wait to see you in that uniform.” she teases, winking playfully and laughing when cheryl rolls her eyes and sinks back against the booth before reaching for her milkshake with a shaky sigh of relief. 

pop tate had been so desperate for help, he had barely flinched when cheryl had told him she didn’t have any experience in waitressing. she had to meet with the head waitress, darla, after school tomorrow to get the basics down, and she’d be lying if she said she isn’t nervous, but she’s looking forward to actually earning her own money-

 

toni’s phone begins buzzing on the table top, and she glances down at it before she frowns and clicks the side button twice to decline in, but cheryl sees the name at the top before she does.

 

“toni…you should go-.”

 

“no, cher. i’m not leaving. i already told jughead i’m busy, he’s just calling so he can yell at me and i’m not in the mood for it.” toni grumbles. cheryl sighs, but grips toni’s hand in her own before they both turn at the sound of the bell above the front door to pop’s jingling.

 

cheryl’s heart begins thundering in her chest wildly at the sight of betty, josie and veronica, and toni sighs shakily beside her before she grips cheryl’s hand and gives it a gentle squeeze.

 

“you’ve got this, bombshell.” she whispers. cheryl purses her lips and nods back as veronica, josie and betty look quickly around the diner before they spot cheryl and toni and quickly make their way over.

 

“cheryl, thank god…” all three of them slide into the seat opposite cheryl and toni in the booth they’re sitting in, all three girls settling down with huffs of exertion before they look at cheryl with nothing but concern. josie’s eyes flick over to toni, and so do veronica’s, but betty, to her surprise, gives toni a small smile before she looks to cheryl with a frown.

 

“hey, cheryl…it’s good to see you’re okay.” she whispers, but josie’s eyes are wide as they roam over cheryl’s face slowly, shock and horror written in those brown eyes of hers as they land on her cheek.

 

“okay? betty look at her cheek…” josie reaches out as if to touch her, leaning up off her seat before her hand is freezing halfway there, and she throws a worried glance at toni, who raises an eyebrow at her in surprise before she scoffs in disbelief.

 

“what, you think it was _me_ who did that to her? are you fucking kidding me?” toni says through slightly bared teeth in anger, and cheryl grips her thigh once again, trying to contain her own anger as josie flinches, but leans back with a shake of her head.

 

“no, of course not, i just…” she trails off with a frown, and cheryl sighs, her free hand reaching up to touch her still bruised cheek that she had tried _everything_ in her makeup arsenal to cover with no luck, before she looks at all three of them with a frown. she lets out a shaky breath and finally exposes the truth.

 

it’s time they know just how much cheryl has suffered…

 

“it was my mother. she came to visit me a few days ago after she heard the rumors spreading around town that i’m dating toni…as you can see, she wasn’t too happy about the idea of her daughter dating a girl.” cheryl says stiffly. toni lets out a sigh of frustration and sadness, leaning in closer to cheryl and running her fingers up and down cheryl’s forearm, and cheryl’s hands almost automatically grip her collar, the other seeking the warmth of toni’s fingers to calm her racing heart…

 

_she’s safe. she’s safe here with toni and her friends…_

 

veronica’s eyes widen, and betty runs her fingers through her hair and lets out a shaky sigh as josie shakes her head in disbelief, all three of them clearly shocked by this revelation.

 

“your mother? why would she…god, cheryl, you said the other day that we never noticed bruises from her, what were you trying to say?” josie croaks out, licking her lips and watching cheryl carefully as the red haired girl hesitates before she answers.

 

“you never did notice them, but i did a good job of hiding them, because i’d only get more bruises if i didn’t, so you’re not entirely to blame. my mother and father have abused me since i was a kid, josie. and even though my father’s gone, it doesn’t mean the abuse has lessened. she came to thistlehouse for the first time in months the other day, and…and toni was with me. she forced toni to leave and then she struck me before she disowned me and kicked me out.” cheryl says hollowly, blinking back tears of despair at the memory of the absolute _coldness_ in penelope’s eyes as she had told cheryl to leave for good...

 

toni inhales sharply beside her before she leans in even closer and presses her face into the side of cheryl’s head, nose nudging through her hair before her lips press a kiss to her ear, and cheryl’s never been more thankful to have the girl by her side.

 

she brings such a sense of calmness over cheryl that she can’t explain, it’s like she can wash away any ounce of stress and anxiety that takes her, and with the collar around her throat that toni herself had placed before they’d come here…

 

she feels good. she can do this. 

 

betty, veronica and josie take in this information in complete and utter horror, and it takes them all a long time to say anything, simply observing cheryl for a few moments before veronica clears her throat and shakes her head. 

 

“cheryl, i…god, i’m so sorry you’ve been through this, but…why didn’t you ever tell us your mother and father hit you? we would’ve done something-.”

 

“there’s nothing you could have done, veronica. but i appreciate the concern.” cheryl says softly, smiling as she reaches out to grip the girl’s hand resting on top of the counter. veronica swallows thickly, and cheryl’s surprised to see tears in her eyes as betty scoffs in disbelief and shakes her head.

 

“god, right under our noses and we never saw it…we’ve been horrible friends-.”

 

“it’s okay, betty. i’ve been bitchy the last few weeks, more than normal, and i apologize for my behavior-.”

 

“wait, cher, no, she’s…she’s right, they _have_ been horrible friends.” toni says firmly, her expression quickly becoming annoyed as she looks at cheryl with a raised eyebrow, and once again, cheryl grips her thigh to calm her, giving her a just as stern look before she looks to betty with a frown.

 

“the point is, we’re all in the wrong here.” cheryl says firmly. toni frowns, but says nothing, and veronica bites down on her bottom lip clearly hesitating on her next words as she looks at toni sheepishly.

 

“toni, i’m…i’m sorry for accusing you of hurting cheryl, i just-.”

 

“figured i was a gang member with a lot of violence in me, and thought the bruises on cheryl’s body were from me…i get it. but i’d never intentionally hurt cheryl, veronica. i love her more than anything, and all i wanna do is make her happy.” toni says sincerely, smiling at her girlfriend tenderly and ignoring the way josie blinks in shock, ignores the way betty and veronica exchange a glance, and cheryl grips her hand before she leans in to press a kiss to the corner of toni’s mouth, smiling against her before veronica clears her throat and looks to cheryl to grab her attention.

 

“cheryl, we’re happy that you’re happy, we _are_ , but we just…god, there’s so much we need to talk about. you’ve been so distant since jason died, and i…i _get it_ , i do, but we’re your friends, you know you could’ve talked to us about everything.” she says with a sigh. cheryl licks her lips, eyes brimming with tears before she sniffs them away and shakes her head.

 

she says what’s on her mind, not giving herself a second to think about her words before she says them. she wants it all out on the table, no more hiding, no more second guessing…

 

“it didn’t _feel_ like it, ronnie. i could see how frustrated you were getting with me, always crying about jason-.”

 

“cheryl, you _lost_ your twin brother! we weren’t getting frustrated, we just…we didn’t know how to help because you wouldn’t _talk to us._ you’d just…cry.” betty says helplessly. josie and veronica nod in agreement, and cheryl sighs and runs her fingers through her hair.

 

“i know, but do you know how hard it is to talk about that? i…i didn’t know how to even _begin_ to explain how much it hurt, losing jason…toni’s the only person i’ve ever spoken to about any of it.” cheryl murmurs, gripping toni’s hand tightly. 

 

“well, as happy as i am that you’ve found someone you can talk to, cheryl, i wish you’d realize that you can talk to us, too.” josie says with a sigh, and cheryl licks her lips, looking up at the girl with a sad smile before she nods.

 

“i know, i’m sorry, josie…” cheryl croaks out. toni’s frown returns, and she’s about to open her mouth when her phone begins buzzing once more, and she sees the pink haired serpent glance down at it anxiously before she once again declines it with two clicks of the side button.

 

“why is jughead calling you?” betty asks with a frown, seeing his name at the top of toni’s phone before she had ended the call, and the girl rolls her eyes and simply shrugs.

 

“there’s a serpent meeting i’m supposed to be going to. but i don’t want to leave cheryl to deal with this on her own.” toni says firmly, grabbing her chocolate shake and taking a sip from it. betty cocks an eyebrow, and veronica is very clearly fighting back a roll of her eyes, pursing her lips instead as cheryl watches them with a frown.

 

“it’s not like cheryl isn’t safe with us, toni. you can go.” she says rather stiffly. cheryl’s heart sinks.

 

that was bitchy...

 

toni scoffs, and cheryl tenses up, her hand gripping toni’s own and squeezing it tightly in an attempt to tell the girl to let her handle this like she promised she would.

 

“if you have a problem with toni-.” cheryl starts angrily, but veronica immediately shakes her head with a sigh of frustration.

 

“we don’t have a problem with toni, cheryl! but she seems to have a problem with us!” veronica retorts, looking to the pink haired serpent with a cold glare as toni narrows her eyes and stares at her, sucking her teeth angrily.

 

“you’ve been shit friends to her for over a year now! you’ve made her feel all alone, made her feel like she has no one! so yes, veronica, i _do_ have a problem with you! she’s only had _me_ for the last two months, and she should have someone else to lean on because i can’t be here for her twenty four seven, no matter how much i want to be!” toni hisses, letting go of cheryl’s hand and leaning in closer to the three girls, ignoring how cheryl grips her thigh to get her to back off.

 

she can handle this _on her own-_

 

“well, she hasn’t given us much room to talk to her, she’s been shutting us out this whole time!” josie exclaims with a frown, veronica and betty nodding along in agreement furiously as toni scoffs once again and glares at all three of them with malice.

 

“then give her a fucking reason _not_ to shut you out! for once, show her you care, it’s not that hard!” toni snaps angrily.

 

“toni!” cheryl hisses under her breath, gripping toni’s hand in an effort to calm her down and squeezing it harshly.

 

she doesn’t understand why toni’s blowing up so much right now, she’s trying to _fix_ things and toni’s making it worse-

 

“cheryl, come on! you know they’ve been treating you like shit, they need to own up to it! why have you been the only one apologizing throughout this entire conversation!?” toni exclaims, looking at her in disbelief. 

 

“we did own up to it! betty said we’ve been shit friends, we _know_ we have! we’ve just had our own stuff going on, we haven’t noticed her pain, but it’s not like she’s…god, it’s not like _you’ve_ let us know, cheryl!” veronica says firmly, finally addressing the red haired girl with a deep and anxious sigh. 

 

“well i’m letting you know now, aren’t i?” cheryl barks despite herself. josie sighs, shaking her head as veronica runs her fingers through her hair and scoffs in disbelief, sinking back against the booth with a frown.

 

“this is just turning into a shouting match all over again-.”

 

“good, you deserve to get yelled at! you’re seriously sitting there and putting the blame on cheryl like it’s her fault that you guys are shit friends?! what the fuck is wrong with you?!” toni snaps, and cheryl rolls her eyes before she lets out a growl of frustration and looks to toni with narrowed eyes.

 

“toni, go outside and take five.” she demands, the confidence coming out of nowhere inside her, most likely from the anger about the situation she's in right now...

 

caught between her best friends and her girlfriend.

 

_this is so ridiculous..._

 

toni blinks in shock, looking at cheryl in complete and utter disbelief, and this strange, silent communication happens between them, cheryl trying her best to communicate how she feels right now in her eyes as she reads the frustration at her friends in toni’s eyes. toni seems to get the message, however, because she scoffs and grabs her phone and her cigarettes off the table, jumping over the booth easily without even glancing back at cheryl before she’s shoving the door open roughly and exiting the diner. 

 

it’s quiet for a few moments before-

 

“she’s…kind of intense.” veronica says firmly. cheryl sighs, pressing the palm of her hands into her eyes with a low groan.

 

she understands why toni’s frustrated, she _does._ toni wants them to understand what they’ve done and how it’s affected cheryl for the last year, how they’re lack of care for her has made her feel nothing but alone, and she _wants_ them to know it, too. but getting mad at them and yelling, all it’s done is cause more problems, and cheryl’s so tired, she’s so _tired_ of endless conversations ending in nothing but screaming matches and anger.

 

“cheryl, seriously, she’s got anger issues-.” josie starts, but cheryl’s head snaps up as she glares at them with nothing but her own anger, ready to unleash on them-

 

_when has that solved anything, cheryl?_

 

cheryl lets out a shaky breath before she looks up at the three of them and swallows thickly, forcing herself to stay calm instead.

 

“she cares a lot about me, josie. the last two months we’ve spent together, we’ve grown so close…the connection between us is one i can’t begin to explain, but the way she feels about me is _real_. she’s understandably upset about the way i’ve been treated, and she gets mad when the people she cares about get hurt. but i’m not here to cause a fight, i’m here to fix things. because…i have no home and i have no family, all i have is _her_ , and as much as i love her, she and i both know that’s no way to live.” cheryl croaks out. 

 

she and toni have spoken about this not just over the last few days, but the last two months as well. cheryl _knows_ she can’t depend on toni all the time, she _knows_ toni has her own life…she needs to give toni her space by living her own life as well.

 

but toni wasn’t helping right now by arguing with the friends she’s trying to get back, and cheryl can’t help but feel a little frustrated at her about it. she knows toni’s just as upset as she is about how the girls have been treating her, but still…she promised cheryl she was going to be a silent observer…

 

“cheryl, are you…god, are you _sure_ about her?” veronica whispers, glancing outside to where toni is leaning against her bike and smoking a cigarette, talking angrily on the phone to who cheryl has no doubt is jughead.

 

_great, he’s just pissing her off even more…_

 

but when toni looks up at cheryl through the window of pop’s, her eyes soften slightly despite the anger shining in them, and cheryl finds herself smiling as she nods without hesitation.

 

“i’m more sure about her than i’ve ever been about anything, ronnie. she’s the one…she really is. the way she makes me feel, the way she calms me down when i’m mad with just a touch of her hand, or the way she kisses my tears away when i cry…she _gets_ me, in ways i don’t think anyone else ever can or will. i don’t expect you to understand and to be honest with you, i don’t _care_ if you do or don’t. i don’t need anyone’s approval, i just need you to accept it. i love her, and she loves me, and as long as we both know that, nothing else matters.” cheryl says softly, turning to face her friends and blinking in surprise when she sees the look of awe in all three of their eyes.

 

veronica clears her throat and sits up straight, quickly glancing outside at toni before she purses her lips.

 

“right, well then…i guess that puts us in our place.” she murmurs. cheryl sighs and runs her fingers through her hair, but before she can say anything, betty reaches out to grip her hand.

 

“look, moving past your relationship with toni for just a second…cheryl, we’re so sorry about your mother. is there anything we can do, or…” betty asks softly, squeezing her hand and looking at her with nothing but sadness. cheryl exhales shakily and blinks back her tears before she licks her lips and simply nods.

 

“one thing…you can be my friends again?” she whispers in a small voice, a part of her dreading the rejection she might get in a moment, but it’s unwarranted, of course, because betty gives her a small smile, and josie chuckles and shakes her head.

 

“cheryl, we never stopped being your friends, okay? we love you and we just want what’s best for you. and if you say that’s toni, then…we’ll accept it. maybe she’ll win us over one day, despite the fact that she just dragged us through the mud…” josie murmurs, glancing back out of the window where toni ends her call, pressing down on the end call button rather roughly before she’s grabbing another cigarette and lighting it. cheryl frowns, but toni quickly turns away from the diner, her back turned to her girlfriend, and concern grips her before she looks back at her three friends and focuses on the task at hand instead.

 

“she’s had to hear me talk about how alone i’ve felt for the last two months despite supposedly having three best friends, josie. of course she’s upset that her girlfriend hasn’t had anyone to lean on…but you’re not the only ones to blame, and she knows that. she’s just frustrated, she’s got a lot on her plate…i’ve pretty much moved in with her now-.”

 

“you have?” veronica asks in surprise. cheryl sighs and licks her lips before she nods once.

 

“yeah…i have nowhere else to stay-.”

 

“yes, you do, cheryl. you can stay at the pembrooke any time you want with me and my mother, she’ll be happy to have you, okay?” veronica says softly, taking her free hand that isn’t occupied by betty and giving it a reassuring squeeze. cheryl smiles softly, nodding once before betty pipes up as well.

 

“and you can stay at mine. now that polly’s gone off to college, we have a spare room, and mom’s always happy to have you, despite her…tumultuous relationship with your mother.” betty grumbles. cheryl chuckles at that, knowing just how much alice cooper did disapprove of her mother, perhaps old beef from their time at high school, or perhaps a family thing that betty and cheryl were unaware of as cheryl sighs and looks to each of them with a smile.

 

“i really am sorry for shutting you all out.” she whispers. veronica squeezes her hand.

 

“and _we’re_ sorry for being such shit friends, cheryl. we’re gonna do better this time, we promise.” she whispers back. cheryl smiles before she licks her lips and lets out a shaky sigh.

 

“right…shall we order then?” 

 

just as veronica nods, cheryl’s phone buzzes on the table top, and she grabs it, looking down and frowning when she sees it’s a text message from toni.

 

**baby <3 [06:24]**   
_i’m going to the serpent meeting. text me when you’re done and i’ll come and pick you up._

 

the message is simple, but it still causes cheryl’s heart to ache and clench as she looks up and out of the window just in time to see toni jumping onto her bike and shoving her helmet on, the bike roaring to life as the light flicks on before she’s peeling out of the parking space she’s in and tearing down the street, leaving cheryl to watch her go in complete and utter disbelief.

 

_what the fuck just happened?_

 

\--------

 

cheryl doesn’t text her back, and toni doesn’t send her another one, either. 

 

it’s almost ten at night when the girls finally call it quits and decide to head home, and cheryl finally caves from this foolish game they're playing and decides to text toni back telling her she’s ready to go home.

 

cheryl had been trying so damn hard to focus on the good time she was having with betty, veronica and josie, the three of them talking about and healing from all the chaos the last year has caused for their friendship and their lives in general, but bubbling beneath the surface the whole night was pure and unadulterated anger, and it’s still there.

 

toni didn’t even have the decency to come back inside and tell cheryl that she was going to this serpent meeting, she sent her a _goddamn text message_ when she was right outside, and god, it makes cheryl’s blood _boil._

 

she gets that toni is upset, but for her to be this petty? for her to do that and then _not_ message cheryl the entire night?

 

she's fucking annoyed, pissed off, maybe not enraged, but _still..._

 

cheryl smokes her cigarette with a scoff of disbelief, muttering under her breath and staring at the empty parking lot around her as she shrugs her coat closer to her body and shivers from the slight cold in the air. pop tate exits the diner with garbage bags in his hands, and he looks at her with a frown.

 

“everything okay, cheryl?” he asks softly. cheryl gives him her best smile and simply nods.

 

“yeah, pop. i’m just waiting for my girlfriend to come and pick me up. do you need help?” cheryl asks, throwing her cigarette to the ground and stubbing it out as she makes her way over to him. he chuckles and looks at her with a raised eyebrow before handing her one of the bags.

 

“you’ve already got the job, cheryl. you don’t need to impress me.” he teases. cheryl rolls her eyes, wrinkling her nose at the smell coming from the bag before she follows pop tate around the side of the diner to where dumpster is.

 

“this is gonna be part of my job, isn’t it? better to learn from now.” cheryl grunts, throwing the bag into the dumpster as pop tate lifts the lid, even though truthfully, she’s just glad for the distraction from how shit she feels right now. the man chuckles as he throws his own bag in before shutting the dumpster lid and dusting his hands. 

 

“i suppose that’s true.” he says with a grin.

 

yeah, working for this man was probably going to be leaps and bounds better than working at the whyte wyrm, now that she thinks about it...toni always came home smelling like beer and pissed off, even more than she was earlier tonight, and cheryl's not exactly prepared for that, now that she thinks about it...

 

_toni...god, why is this so hard?_

 

cheryl smiles softly before the sound of a roaring bike echoes out, and she licks her lips before she turns and makes her way out from around the diner to see toni pulling into the parking lot, coming to a stop a few feet ahead of her and pulling her helmet off with nothing but a stony expression on her face as her pink hair blows with the wind majestically.

 

oh, cheryl’s got words for her-

 

but god…god, does she love her…

 

_ugh, stupid emotions, stop being so conflicting right now, i don’t need this!_

 

“see you tomorrow, pop.” cheryl mumbles, and pop tate chuckles and says his goodbye as cheryl makes her way over to her girlfriend, stopping short in front of her and crossing her arms over her chest with a raised eyebrow, fuming.

 

toni doesn’t say a word, simply holds her helmet out to cheryl, who scoffs and takes it from her hands.

 

“seriously?” she growls. toni clenches her jaw and still doesn’t make eye contact with her, and cheryl bares her teeth and shoves the helmet against toni’s chest before she squares her shoulders, not even taking in the look of surprise on her face as she does it.

 

“i’ll fucking walk.” she snaps, hugging her coat closer and making her way out of the parking lot with her boots clomping on the ground loudly.

 

if toni wants to be petty, she can be petty right back-

 

toni sighs before she’s revving the bike and inching it closer slowly to cheryl’s departing figure.

 

“cher, just get on the bike.” she calls out, using her legs to continue moving the bike forward as cheryl huffs and simply continues walking.

 

“why? so you can give me the silent treatment the entire time?” cheryl barks, trying to blink back her tears of anger and sadness.

 

she _hates_ this, she doesn’t even understand why they’re fucking fighting right now-

 

“cheryl, stop!” toni somehow manages to reach out and grip cheryl’s bicep to pull her to a stop, her free hand squeezing the brake before she sighs and looks to cheryl with sad eyes.

 

“i’m not letting you walk around the southside on your own. please just get on the bike?” she asks softly. cheryl hesitates, because she feels like spiting toni more than anything right now, wants to rip her arm out of toni's hold, but she knows she’s right, the southside isn’t safe…

 

she huffs and grabs the helmet that toni’s holding out once more, shoving it onto her head and begrudgingly sitting on the back of the bike as she grips toni’s waist. toni sighs again, this time with relief before she takes off, making her way to the trailer park with cheryl still fuming behind her. 

 

she wouldn’t be so upset right now if toni had just come inside and told her that she was leaving. sending her a fucking text message like she was just a fellow classmate and not her actual, living, _breathing_ girlfriend-

 

the goddamn fucking nerve, honestly.

 

this hasn't happened between them before, and as much as cheryl knew it was inevitable that they would eventually get into a fight, she's still upset that it's even come to this. but they can make it through, she knows they can, they've got this, her and toni were so _good_ at communicating...they're gonna be okay.

 

they have to be...

 

toni pulls up to the trailer park, and the second her bike comes rumbling to a stop outside her trailer, cheryl swings her leg off and pulls the helmet off her head, her boots crunching on the grass as she makes her way to the front door. she leans against the railing of the stairs, tapping her foot impatiently and avoiding eye contact as toni turns the ignition and lights off on the bike and makes her way over to cheryl, running her fingers through her hair and clenching her jaw before she shoves the key into the door and pushes it open.

 

cheryl walks through first, almost barging past toni before she rests the helmet on the small dining table to the left. as soon as she hears toni walk through the door and close it tightly behind her, cheryl turns on her, ready to unleash complete and utter hell.

 

“you send me a fucking text message?! you-.” 

 

the rest of her words get lost as toni steps forward and grabs the back of her neck before she’s pulling her close and kissing her fiercely, teeth biting down on her lower lip and tugging and pulling out a moan of surprise from the red head as her eyes flutter closed. 

 

oh.

 

well, she definitely wasn't expecting this, perhaps the exact _opposite_ of this-

 

she grips the lapels of toni’s serpent jacket and pulls her closer for just a second before her eyes snap open, the realization of what happened tonight hitting her all at once, and no, _no_ , she's not going to let toni do this-

 

“no! you don’t get to just kiss me and make this better-.” cheryl starts, but toni groans and grips her tighter.

 

“cheryl, god, shut up!” toni growls, pulling her back down for another bruising kiss, and god, cheryl’s trying so hard to resist her right now, but she _can’t._

 

because she's pissed off, but she's also horny, and sad, and upset, and a million other fucking things-

 

she pushes toni’s jacket off her body, moaning as the girl grips a fistful of her hair and tugs on it roughly before she’s pushing her back toward the bedroom, dropping her serpent jacket to the ground as she does. she grips the bottom of cheryl’s shirt, pulling it up and off her body before she’s unclipping her bra and ripping it off cheryl’s body eagerly just as they burst through the bedroom door.

 

“toni…” cheryl breathes, resting her forehead against the pink haired serpent’s, but toni simply digs her nails into her sides before she’s hooking her fingers into her collar and tugging her forward, teeth nipping and biting-

 

“i’m…angry at you…” cheryl tries to get out, tries to fight her off even though it's a very fucking poor attempt at doing so, but it just dissolves into moans as toni pushes her thumb under cheryl’s chin to tilt her head back, her lips biting down and sucking harshly on cheryl’s pulse point. 

 

“good, i’m pissed off at you, too.” toni hisses against her skin, and before cheryl can react, toni’s spinning her around and wrapping an arm around her chest before she’s falling down onto the bed, cheryl’s back pressed against her chest as her hand grips cheryl’s neck to pull it up and expose it before her teeth are attacking it once more. 

 

cheryl whimpers, her back arching off toni’s chest and her center _throbbing_ as the girl slides her free hand down to squeeze her right breast roughly. 

 

“t-toni-.”

 

“you can’t…order me…around…cheryl.” toni growls out between bites to her neck and shoulder, her free hand now moving down to pull open the button of her jeans before she’s sliding her hand into cheryl’s underwear.

 

“fuck!” cheryl whines as toni’s fingers immediately begin drawing hard circles against her clit, her other hand wrapping around cheryl’s neck and moving underneath the collar to scratch the skin there as her teeth and lips attack every inch of exposed skin they can reach. 

 

“i was trying to fucking defend you!” toni hisses, and cheryl’s nails scratch at the bed sheets wantonly, a loud moan escaping her when toni enters two fingers into her and begins pumping them in and out of her roughly, the jeans somehow not even remotely limiting her movements and only causing more friction to rub against the red head deliciously-

 

“i t-told you, i c-can handle it-ugh!” cheryl tries to fight back, her hand scratching at the wrist of the hand down her pants, but the pleasure pounding through her body is overwhelming any other emotion she feels right now. toni’s breath is hot against her skin, and she has cheryl’s back pinned to her chest, one hand wrapped around her neck and the elbow of the arm that’s working her closer to her climax digging into her hipbones to keep her in place. 

 

“by what? apologizing to them and not letting them own up to their own mistakes?! you’re worth more than that, cheryl, how many fucking times do i have to tell you!?” toni exclaims loudly in her ear, causing cheryl to wince, and toni must think she’s hurt her because she backs off just a little, easing her hold around her neck but continuing the rough thrusts in and out of her as her palm hits cheryl’s clit over and over again-

 

“i k-know, i- _fuck, toni, right **there-.**_ ”

 

“they just kept blaming you for all of it and you let them!” toni scoffs in disbelief, but her fingers move faster as cheryl bucks her hips up into toni’s hand, her eyes rolling into the back of her head as she grits her teeth and tries to focus on the conversation at the same time her impending orgasm is sending signals to her brain that immense pleasure is on it’s way-

 

“we s-spent the whole n-night talking, if you h-had _been_ there, you w-would’ve heard what they h-had to s-say, i-please, toni, i’m s-so close-.” cheryl whines, and toni curls her fingers up to hit her spot as the butt of her hand hits cheryl’s clit once more-

 

cheryl’s groans echo around the bedroom, her hips bucking up repeatedly into toni’s hand as the girl continues thrusting into her with her teeth biting down on cheryl’s shoulder, and god, she’s being so fucking rough, but cheryl’s _obsessed_ , her body thrashing on top of toni’s as her orgasm ebbs and flows and pulses and shocks her like static running through her veins-

 

cheryl relaxes back down against her after almost a full minute, panting breathlessly as toni’s hand stills against her, the both of their chests heaving for a long time until toni sighs and presses a kiss to her ear.

 

it’s quiet for a few moments before-

 

“feel better?” cheryl breathes, whining and shivering as toni slides her hand out of her pants and wraps her arm around cheryl’s chest once more, pressing her back down against her own chest as she does. toni simply grunts and cheryl sighs and sinks down against her further, closing her eyes and taking a few deep breaths in before she talks.

 

“you sent me a text message, toni.” she deadpans. toni sighs before she begins pressing gentle kisses against cheryl’s bruised and battered skin, and fuck, cheryl can almost feel the goddamn guilt radiating off her.

 

“i’m sorry, cher-bear. i was just so mad, and jughead was being an absolute dick as well, but it’s not an excuse…i shouldn’t be taking out my anger on you-.”

 

“oh well, you’re more than welcome to do so during sex again, that was kind of amazing.” cheryl mumbles with a shrug and a grin, and toni chuckles into her ear before she presses a kiss to her temple and slowly moves cheryl around until she’s laying down on top of her properly, chests pressed together and cheryl’s chin resting on her collarbone as she smiles up at toni sadly. 

 

“i don’t like fighting with you, toni. the whole night, i was so mad at you, but the second i saw you…all i could think about was how much i love you. but you really pissed me off with what you did, t.t.” she tells her firmly, wanting to stand her ground and make sure that toni knows how upset she was and slightly still is. toni brushes her fingers up and down cheryl’s spine before she leans in to press a kiss between her eyes.

 

“i know, baby. and i really am sorry for what i did. it was totally wrong and i know it was, i regretted it the second i got on my bike. but _you_ also pissed me off with how you ordered me to go outside like i was some five year old kid instead of your girlfriend.” toni says, her teeth slightly bared as she clenches her jaw to contain her anger. cheryl sighs and looks up into her eyes with a small shake of her head.

 

okay, maybe she went a little too far with that one, truthfully...

 

“you promised me you were going to be a ‘silent observer’ and then you were dragging them for filth, toni! i just wanted you to take a second to breathe and calm down-.”

 

“they weren’t apologizing, cher! they were dancing around the word ‘sorry’ like it was contagious or something! and yet the first thing you did was apologize! i’m not gonna sit by and watch them treat you like shit again, cheryl, i’m sorry!” toni growls out, and cheryl sits up properly and grips toni’s face in her hands, looking her in the eyes as she purses her lips and says her next words.

 

“listen to me. i know my worth now, okay? i know my worth know because of _you._ i’m not going to let them treat me like shit again, toni. all four of us spoke about it in length tonight, and they know now what i expect from them and i know what they expect from me. i _handled_ it, just like i told you i would. i get that you’re defensive of me, baby, and it’s one of the things i fucking _love_ about you, how much you’re willing to fight for me, but i think you lost sight of the fact that i’m supposed to be learning how to fight my own battles, remember?” cheryl says firmly, but not unkindly, and toni’s eyes widen, the room silent as she processes her words before she’s letting out a sigh of frustration and sinking back against the bed with a shake of her head.

 

“i feel like such an idiot-.” cheryl silences her, pressing a kiss to her lips quickly before she pulls back with a smile.

 

“mmm, but you’re _my_ idiot, my adorable, caring, passionate, defensive idiot, and i love you. and i’m _sorry_ , toni, i truly am, for making you upset tonight.” cheryl says softly. toni smiles and tucks a lock of hair behind her ear.

 

“and i’m sorry for upsetting you tonight, too. i just…jumped the gun, and i don’t even know _why._ i just…you’ve been through so much already this week, i didn’t want to watch you go through more pain, but i didn’t want you to just forgive them so you wouldn’t have to go through _more_ pain…i don’t know, it’s fucked up-.”

 

“no, i understand.” cheryl croaks out, nodding once as toni sighs and pulls her back down to her chest gently.

 

“we’re okay?” she whispers. cheryl smiles and presses a kiss to her collarbone.

 

“we’re okay, toni." she promises, before she grins playfully and looks up at her.

 

"i mean, the angry makeup sex really got you extra points too, and without it, we totally wouldn't have been cool-.”

 

"ugh, shut up, you're such a dork..." toni groans, chuckling as she rests her lips against cheryl’s hairline and presses a kiss to her skin with a sigh. the red haired girl can _feel_ her smiling against cheryl’s skin as she brushes her fingers up and down toni’s sides underneath her shirt delicately, a comfortable silence settling over the both of them for a few tender moments. 

 

this is why they’re good for each other. because even through the fights, they talk it out and they make it fucking _work._

 

and fuck, they even get some angry sex out of it, too.

 

what a win/win situation for cheryl.

 

_you really nabbed the perfect girlfriend, cheryl…good job, kid._


	14. do as you wish with it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year, here's about 8.5K of just straight up smut LMAO
> 
> hope you like this chapter, i've got maybe three more chapters planned for this before we say adios! :( let me know what you think, you can comment here or let me know on twitter at @endofdaysforme!
> 
> again, happy new years guys and may 2019 bring you all the joy you seek! <3

it’s insane, just how different things can become when you fall in love.

 

cheryl’s not quite sure how to explain it, or how to put it into words, but after being raised for eighteen years watching her parents exist in a loveless marriage and never receiving an ounce of affection or care from anyone but her brother, jason, she never, ever expected _love_ to be the thing that heals her broken spirit.

 

she thought it would be escape that would do it, which is exactly what she planned from the moment she graduated school, leaving this god forsaken town behind and getting as far away from the blossom family and name as she could. 

 

but now? 

 

now…cheryl has no idea what her future holds. but for her, it doesn’t really matter. as long as her future involves that goddamn girl in that booth with that pen between her lips-

 

“excuse me, ma’am?” 

 

cheryl rolls her eyes, lips immediately twitching into an award winning grin as she spins on her heels with a cocked eyebrow and makes eye contact with chocolate brown eyes filled with warmth and love.

 

“yes?” cheryl teases, her grip on the coffee pot in her hand tightening as toni topaz looks her up and down, taking in the yellow uniform, the hair held up by a butterfly clip, the apron and the black heels with a smirk and a raised eyebrow, nothing but lust shining in her eyes as she taps the pen in her hand against her full, pink glossed lips before she clears her throat and holds up her coffee cup.

 

“refill?” she says simply, shaking the coffee cup teasingly. cheryl licks her lips and makes her way over, suppressing a giggle as she hums softly and rests her free hand on the booth behind toni’s head. she leans down, toni watching her do so with a grin as she glances down at ruby red lips, and cheryl leans in as close as possible to toni before she turns her head teasingly and begins pouring coffee into her cup slowly.

 

toni chuckles in her ear, teeth nipping at cheryl’s jawline before she kisses the skin tenderly, and as soon as the cup’s full, cheryl leans back and stands up straight, looking down at toni with her bottom lip clutched between her teeth. 

 

“anything else i can do for you?” she purrs, biting back a smile as toni hums and reaches out to grip her hips, tugging her closer until her hands are skimming along cheryl’s exposed thighs, dancing along alabaster, creamy skin teasingly and causing goosebumps to immediately rise as cheryl suppresses a shiver. 

 

“hmm…you can meet me in the bathroom for a quickie?” toni murmurs, looking at cheryl with hopeful eyes, and cheryl looks down at her in shock before she quickly glances around, making sure no one’s eavesdropping or watching what they’re doing as she licks her lips in hesitation and looks down at toni with a shake of her head.

 

“toni, i’m working-.”

 

“that didn’t stop you on friday…” toni mumbles, eyes roaming over her body until she’s looking up into her eyes with nothing but lust. cheryl swallows thickly, the memories of the way toni had pushed her up against the stall in the bathroom two days ago flooding her mind…the way her fingers had worked to get her to her orgasm so quickly but so diligently, the way her lips had attacked cheryl’s neck, the bruises still hiding beneath a thick layer of makeup even now…

 

cheryl purses her lips and tucks a finger under toni’s chin to lift her gaze up. 

 

god, as good as friday was, cheryl’s _not_ risking this job, not when everything is going so _well-_

 

“i finish in fifteen, t.t. keep it in your pants until then.” she murmurs, chuckling as toni pouts before she leans down to kiss it away gently. she steps back out of toni’s grip, slapping her hands away playfully, and toni sighs before she looks back down at her book in defeat.

 

“fine…i’m almost done with this worksheet, anyway, you keep distracting me with those long legs of yours…” she grumbles, and cheryl smiles and presses a kiss to her hair before grabbing the coffee pot back up off the table. 

 

“then you better finish it off, because the sooner you do, the sooner i can wrap these long legs of mine around that petite waist of yours.” cheryl says under her breath, grinning at the way toni’s breath hitches slightly before she’s making her way down the booths to the older gentleman signaling for another cup of coffee with a satisfied smirk on her face as she does.

 

cheryl’s been working at pop’s for two weeks now, and even though the hourly rate isn’t the best, it’s the tips she gets that she considers her true income. the tips are particularly good from thursday to sunday, which are the diner’s busiest days, and of course, are the days that cheryl works thanks to pop tate being the best boss she ever could’ve asked for. after cheryl had explained her situation to the man (who had given her a gentle hug upon hearing it), he had made sure to have her work the busiest days to ensure she got as much money as possible in tips to get her through the week.

 

it’s been amazing. cheryl had no problems adapting and figuring out how to do her job properly, especially with help from darla, the head waitress, to the point where it’s just her and pop tate himself right now in the late hours of sunday night, the man confident in her abilities already to allow her to work a shift on her own. darla had left at nine, and since then it’s been quiet. the diner isn’t too full, only a few customers here and there, but toni’s been here since cheryl’s shift started at six, doing her homework in her booth and watching cheryl with a proud smile the entire time. 

 

on the nights that toni isn’t working at the wyrm, she’s here with cheryl, and even on the nights she is working, she uses her fifteen minute break to come and pick cheryl up so she’s not walking to the southside on her own, dropping her back at the trailer before going back to work, which only makes cheryl’s heart ache more with love for the pink haired girl over how much she’s willing to do to keep cheryl safe.

 

it’s never been more potent in her mind, just how much she _loves_ toni topaz, and in those moments, god…it only becomes a clearer, more focused feeling…cheryl loves toni, and toni loves cheryl, and nothing else really seems to matter but that.

 

from the second cheryl had first slipped this uniform on, she was waiting for the moment that toni would no longer be able to contain herself, had watched toni stare at her with nothing but lust, squirming in her seat with hungry eyes gazing at her for the last two weeks, and yes, every night they’ve gotten home after cheryl’s shift, toni’s ripped that uniform off her body and ravaged her until she could barely fucking _move_ , but she’s been able to keep her hands to herself during her shifts...

 

well, until friday had happened.

 

toni had asked her to meet her in the bathroom to talk privately, and cheryl had stupidly followed, thinking it was something serious, only to be dragged into the bathroom stall, where toni had made it her goddamn life’s mission to get cheryl to a rushed orgasm in order not to raise suspicion with pop tate over her absence.

 

they just can’t fucking get _enough_ of each other…or get enough of fucking each other. cheryl thought the novelty of this would’ve worn off by now, that it’s been three months now and cheryl can’t think about anything else but toni.

 

any outside observer would think their relationship consists of nothing but sex from how goddamn often they’re covered in love bites and bruises, but cheryl and toni _know_ , and that’s all she really cares about, to be honest. fuck what anyone else thinks, they weren’t there for the nights that cheryl cried in toni’s arms talking about her brother and how much she missed him, weren’t there for the days toni would confess to cheryl that she missed her mother despite everything she’s done…weren’t there for the other side of the intimate moments, where they spent hours talking about their feelings and about their pasts and how they both struggled to move forward, but how it was getting easier now that they had someone to lean on…

 

the sex is just a goddamn bonus, especially considering how goddamn good toni is at fucking her. cheryl never, ever wants to lose this. and she’s positive toni feels the same way. if this is what their relationship is going to be like forever, then cheryl would be more than happy to put a goddamn ring on that woman’s finger right fucking now.

 

but despite all this, and despite the fact that cheryl knows it’s impossible to resist her incredibly gorgeous fucking girlfriend, she’s determined not to let what happened on friday happen again. as much as having sex in public is an adrenaline rush, she can’t afford to lose this job…friday had been a moment of weakness but she’s not about to repeat it.

 

control. she’s spent the last three months gaining it back, she wasn’t about to throw it away.

 

_just fifteen minutes, cheryl…fifteen minutes and you’re free to go…_

 

cheryl finishes topping off the man’s cup of coffee before she makes her way over towards the counter where pop tate himself is cleaning up, the smile on his face widening as cheryl comes into view before he looks up at the clock on the wall.

 

“cheryl, are you sure you don’t mind working the late shift?” pop tate asks with a frown, watching the little hand pointing at eleven and the minute hand pointing at fifteen. cheryl looks to him with a smile and a simple nod.

 

sure, she has school in the morning, and god only knows what toni has planned for her the second they get home, which means she probably won’t get much sleep tonight, but she’d much rather go to school with bags under her eyes and the wad of cash in tips she has stuffed in her bra than go to school worrying about not having any money to call her own.

 

“someone has to do it, pop. besides, toni’s with me, so it’s not all that boring.” she teases, glancing back at her girlfriend sitting at her booth with her pen caught between her teeth and a frown of concentration on her face, clearly determined to get that worksheet done before cheryl finishes her shift. pop tate chuckles, and cheryl slides the empty coffee pot across the counter toward him with a smile.

 

he moves over to the coffee machine and begins brewing another pot, chuckling as he shakes his head and nods back towards toni before winking at cheryl slyly.

 

“you know, i don’t think i’ve ever seen you happier. you’ve been coming here since you were a child, but that smile on your face every time you’re with her…it’s a nice sight, cheryl. i’m happy she makes you feel that way.” he says softly, reaching out to grip her shoulder and give it a gentle squeeze. 

 

cheryl feels her heart ache, remembering the days that pop tate would bring over a milkshake for her and jason to share like they always used to, the way the man would smile and be nothing but kind to her and her brother, and she also remembers how after jason had died, cheryl had spent a whole night in this very diner, crying in a booth while pop tate continuously checked up on her and refilled her coffee cup without a word. 

 

_he’s the best man in this goddamn town…_

 

“thanks, pop. she’s…i don’t even know how to describe it…the best person i’ve ever met. and i still don’t know how i got lucky enough for her to love me back.” cheryl whispers, glancing back and watching as toni’s eyes light up before she’s grinning and scribbling down her answer hastily. cheryl laughs lightly at the sight, and when she turns to look at pop tate, he’s watching her watching toni before he shakes his head and nods to the front door.

 

“go on, head home, cheryl. it’s quiet tonight and you’ve been on your feet since six. i can handle things here on my own.” cheryl blinks in complete and utter surprise, staring at him before she manages to stutter out a reply.

 

“wh-are you sure? i can stay-.” she starts, but he shakes his head with a laugh and a twinkle in his eyes.

 

“i’m sure, cheryl. you’re a hard worker, it’s only fair you get a reward every once in a while.” he says with chuckle, and cheryl bites down on her bottom lip guiltily, thinking about the reward she had certainly gotten on friday in the bathroom less than ten feet away from them without him knowing, but she swallows it down as she jumps up and excuses herself before making her way over to toni eagerly, because god, even though she’s been here the whole night, cheryl’s _missed_ her. 

 

“did you finish?” she asks hastily, trying not to sound too desperate as toni looks up at her with a frown before she looks down at the paper with a sigh of frustration.

 

“it’s just this last question, i-.” 

 

cheryl glances down at the paper, reading the question toni’s struggling with before she rolls her eyes and grabs the pen from toni’s hand impatiently, writing down the correct answer quickly. toni blinks down in surprise, but before she can say anything, cheryl’s grabbing toni’s bag off the spot beside her on the booth and shoving her pen into it.

 

“what are you doing-.”

 

“pop said i can go home from now, so get your ass into gear.” cheryl huffs, pulling her tips out of where they’re stuffed into her bra and shoving them into toni’s bag, her whole body throbbing with need as toni’s eyes widen. she groans in relief before she’s grabbing her books and helping cheryl shove them into her bag, and cheryl giggles excitedly as she grabs toni’s coffee cup and empty plate and takes it over to the counter, sliding it over to pop tate before waving at him furiously.

 

“thanks pop! i’ll see you later!” she yells, grabbing toni’s hand just as she catches up to her and interlacing their fingers.

 

“get some sleep!” pop tate yells out knowingly, laughing as toni grins and thanks him loudly before cheryl’s dragging her out of the front door eagerly. 

 

toni doesn’t even waste time as cheryl unclips her hair, letting it roll down in soft red waves down her back before grabbing the helmet toni’s holding out to her and shoving it on. toni swings her leg over the bike as cheryl slings toni’s bag over her shoulder, and as soon as she’s secure on the back of the bike with her arms wrapped around toni’s waist, the pink haired serpent takes off at top speed.

 

cheryl’s hoping that pop tate doesn’t get smashed with customers now that she’s left, but it’s late and it’s a sunday, so it shouldn’t be too bad-

 

she should be focusing more on what’s waiting for her when they get home. no doubt toni’s thinking of a million different things, and despite how well they know each other by now, when it comes to sex, she’s fucking _unpredictable._

 

cheryl wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

they arrive at sunnyside trailer park within seven minutes, toni bringing the bike to a screeching halt and causing dirt and gravel to fly everywhere before she kicks the stand down and turns the ignition off, and cheryl jumps off the bike with a excited giggle, unable to contain herself. she makes her way to the front door with toni right at her heels, her hands at cheryl’s waist and gripping her tightly as she shoves the key into the door and twists it, pushing the door open frantically.

 

the second toni pulls cheryl through the door of her trailer, she’s slamming it shut and pushing her up against it, hands immediately grabbing the hem of her uniform and hiking it up around her hips eagerly as her lips latch on to cheryl’s neck desperately.

 

“you’re insatiable in that fucking uniform, bombshell.” toni breathes against her skin, nudging her nose under cheryl’s chin to get her to lift it before she’s pressing kisses down the column of her throat. cheryl swallows dryly, groaning as toni lifts her uniform up higher before she’s quickly flicking open the first few buttons at the top of her uniform to expose her bra underneath. she presses a kiss between her breasts before she looks up at cheryl with her bottom lip caught between her teeth, and god, the look in her eyes right now-

 

“i can’t even wait to get to the bedroom, i want you here and now.” she breathes, looking up at cheryl with blown pupils in her lust, and cheryl nods numbly, wrapping a hand around the back of her neck and pulling her back in for a bruising kiss before toni suddenly drops to her knees and reaches under her uniform to pull down her underwear quickly. she steps out of them before toni’s looking up at her with a smile and leaning in, one hand hooking her left leg over her shoulder before she’s dragging her tongue up cheryl’s folds and gathering up the arousal that’s been there from the fucking second they left pop’s.

 

“ugh!” cheryl can’t even form words, her head falling back against the door with a loud thud as her knees shake and her hands immediately grip toni’s hair, fisting the colorful pink strands between her fingers while the tip of toni’s tongue works hard circles against her clit, one hand reaching up to grab her breast and squeeze roughly.

 

cheryl tugs at her hair, unable to stop herself, causing toni to moan against her filthily before she’s pulling away and looking up at cheryl with her bottom lip clutched between her teeth.

 

“i have an idea.” she murmurs, and before cheryl can say anything, toni’s dropping her leg down to the floor and jumping up, practically running to their bedroom and leaving cheryl a flustered mess against the door.

 

“toni, what the hell?!” she huffs breathlessly, hiking her uniform back down and gazing at her underwear that’s just lying on the ground with pursed lips to hide her laughter. toni doesn’t respond, and cheryl’s about to make her way to their bedroom-

 

“stay where you are! i have plans!” toni yells, her voice slightly muffled from the shut bedroom door before cheryl hears her grunting with exertion.

 

she has no fucking clue what’s going on in her girlfriend’s mind right now, but she simply pushes herself off the door and makes her way to the fridge instead, grumbling as her core throbs almost painfully with need.

 

she opens the fridge door, pulling out a water bottle and taking a few gulps thirstily, trying not to get too frustrated at how toni is making her wait right now. she hates when toni does this, teases her and then leaves her hanging, toni knows how goddamn impatient she is-

 

she hears the bedroom door open, and she’s about to turn around when toni yells out loudly.

 

“nuh uh! stay with your back turned to me, i want it to be a surprise.” she says firmly. cheryl rolls her eyes, crosses her arms over her chest, but does as she’s told, huffing impatiently before she feels soft arms wrap around her waist from behind. 

 

“getting some water in? smart idea.” she plucks the bottle from cheryl’s hand before she takes a drink herself, and cheryl’s about to reply when she feels something hard press against her lower back-

 

oh.

 

well, they’ve done this before, it’s nothing new, why was toni acting like-

 

toni spins her around, kissing her fiercely as the water bottle drops to the ground in her haste, and before cheryl can even think, she’s gripping the hem of cheryl’s uniform and pushing it up around her hips once more before she’s gripping cheryl’s thighs and lifting her up, her back pressing against the fridge as she gasps in surprise and wraps her legs around toni’s waist instinctively. 

 

“jesus, toni!” cheryl can’t help but laugh against her, but it quickly turns into a moan as toni attacks her neck with feverish bites and kisses, and it slowly dawns on cheryl what her brilliant idea is.

 

she moans loudly, unable to stop herself, and cheryl curls a hand around the top of the fridge above her, gripping it tightly and holding herself up to relieve some of the pressure of her weight off toni before the girl pulls back, and cheryl looks down at her with a raised eyebrow. 

 

“against the fridge?” she pants out with a breathless chuckle, wondering how exactly toni plans to accomplish this even though she’s nothing but excited about the idea of it when the girl decides to answer her by showing her instead of telling her.

 

she grips cheryl’s thighs tightly, nails digging into her skin before she’s looking down to see what she’s doing with a frown of concentration. cheryl simply continues holding herself up before toni looks at her with a frown.

 

“if it hurts-.”

 

“i know, t.t.” cheryl tells her, leaning in to press a kiss to her furrowed brow tenderly as toni grins up at her. cheryl feels something cold touch her opening, and she shudders before toni grips her thighs impossibly tighter and slowly lets her hips sink down onto the toy carefully.

 

_oh, **fuck.**_

 

holy shit, cheryl can’t _breathe-_

 

cheryl gasps loudly and immediately wraps an arm around toni’s neck to steady herself, eyes squeezing shut at the intrusion as toni kisses her neck and watches her cautiously.

 

“do you want me to stop? does it hurt?” she breathes against her, but cheryl shakes her head and lets out a small whine before she grips the top of the fridge tighter and pulls herself up further with a breathless pant.

 

“keep going.” she croaks out, and toni bites down on her pulse point as she curls her hands under cheryl’s thighs with a moan against pale skin.

 

“fuck, i love you.” she whispers, and before cheryl can reply, toni thrusts up into her roughly, the toy sinking deeper than it ever has before as the fridge slams against the wall lightly.

 

cheryl’s nails dig into toni’s shoulder, fingers hooking into her bra strap as her thighs tighten around toni’s bare waist, and toni’s teeth latch onto the skin of her neck, sucking harshly to match the pace and the roughness of her thrusts that have cheryl’s eyes rolling into the back of her head as she squeezes them shut and lets out a moan of pleasure.

 

“fuck, toni-.”

 

“you like that?” toni pants out, lips trailing up cheryl’s neck and jaw before she’s kissing her deeply. she quickens her pace, the fridge now slamming against the wall even harder, and cheryl grabs a fistful of her hair with a loud moan at the stretch that’s happening over and over again, her body still aching from when toni had used the harness on her on thursday night after her shift, but fuck if it doesn’t feel so _good-_

 

cheryl’s completely blown away at how toni is managing to fucking make this work despite the fact that she’s practically holding cheryl’s whole body weight up against the fridge, the girl’s long legs tightening around her waist as toni thrusts her hips upwards and moves her lips down to suck and bite at the top of her breasts as she pleases while cheryl just clings on for dear life and tries to help take the pressure off toni’s arms any way she can, gripping the top of the fridge and trying to hold herself up despite how much her body is trembling with the pleasure pounding in her core. 

 

toni’s dripping with sweat despite the cold weather clinging to the inside of the trailer, but cheryl’s never seen her more determined to make something work, and god, the way she has no control over how deep the toy sinks into her every time toni lets her hips drop is something cheryl’s quickly becoming obsessed with, her nails digging into the skin of toni’s shoulder with loud gasps and moans.

 

“t-toni-.” cheryl barely manages to get her name out, gasping as toni thrusts into her harder, and god, cheryl’s not sure she can keep herself up much longer, her thighs are fucking shaking around toni’s waist-

 

“b-bed, the bed…” cheryl groans, her arms burning, and she can feel toni’s knees buckling, knows this is no easy feat for the pink haired serpent either as the girl bites down on cheryl’s bottom lip, tugging it harshly before she’s pulling cheryl away from the fridge-

 

and slamming her back up against the wall beside it roughly instead, shaking her head and chuckling as cheryl whines and lets her head fall back against the wall with a dull thud.

 

“if i…can work through the pain…so can you.” toni breathes out, ignoring the way cheryl grits her teeth before she rests her forearm on top of the fridge right beside her and uses the arm wrapped around toni’s shoulder to push herself up, and toni takes advantage of her actions and kisses her chest, tongue lathing over the valley between her breasts and moving up to her sweat soaked neck-

 

cheryl slides down the wall in exhaustion, and toni grips her thighs and pulls her forward and down onto the toy quickly, once, twice, three times-

 

cheryl doesn’t even bother holding back her screams, knows that the whole of sunnyside trailer park has probably heard them both by now so there’s no point as toni pushes her back against the wall and grinds into her to prolong her orgasm. cheryl gives up on holding herself up and grips toni’s face in her hands, kissing her deeply as toni simply pushes her into the wall with the toy still inside her, cheryl clenching around it greedily while her head spins in her post orgasm daze.

 

toni’s whole body is shaking with exertion, but she refuses to drop cheryl, her hands still gripping her thighs and holding her in place as cheryl pulls away from her lips with a breathless gasp.

 

“you’re…amazing.” she breathes, eyes fluttering closed as her head falls back against the wall with a soft hum, and toni gently pulls out of her before she’s slowly letting her legs drop back to the ground. cheryl manages to stand on shaking legs, but keeps her arms wrapped around toni’s shoulders just in case as the pink haired serpent chuckles and leans in to kiss her softly.

 

“i know.” she says cheekily against her lips, and cheryl rolls her eyes before she’s touching the harness around toni’s hips and tugging on the straps to loosen it.

 

“take that off, i have plans for you, too.” she murmurs. toni grins before she kisses her again, and to her surprise, she shakes her head.

 

“i’m not done with you yet.” she says simply, and before cheryl can say anything else, she’s somehow ripping open the rest of the buttons of cheryl’s uniform without breaking them off and sliding the fabric off cheryl’s body, bundling it up in her hands and throwing it onto the couch in the living room before she grips cheryl’s hand in her own and begins dragging her towards the bedroom. cheryl winces slightly at the pain between her legs, biting down on her bottom lip as toni bursts through the door before she’s moving up to the top of the bed and sitting down on it with her back pressed against the headboard. she grins and holds her hands out to cheryl, who doesn’t even hesitate in taking her hands and moving her leg over to straddle her waist. 

 

she hovers above the toy, gripping toni’s face between her hands and kissing her deeply as the pink haired girl slides her hands up cheryl’s sweat soaked back, unclipping her bra with two fingers before she’s pushing her back away from her lips to pull it off her slowly. 

 

“cheryl, i…fuck, i don’t understand how i got so lucky to have you…” toni whispers suddenly, her eyes roaming over cheryl’s bare chest, the pads of her fingers brushing over the pale skin of her stomach before they’re moving down to grip her thighs, and god, the absolute look of almost _worship_ in her eyes…

 

“you came barging into riverdale high and i fell in love on sight, toni. i’m the lucky one…because you fell in love with me, too.” cheryl whispers back, her voice hoarse from the screams she let out just minutes ago, and even though she’s sore, even though her body is aching, she grips toni’s shoulders and centers herself before she’s sinking down onto the toy slowly, inch by inch letting it stretch her out as her head tips back and her eyes flutter closed, a soft moan leaving her lips from the goddamn realization that toni is _hers_ , and she is _toni’s._

 

and nothing is going to change that.

 

she starts to roll her hips down, whining slightly from just how exhausted she is, but toni suddenly grips her hips to stop her, her mouth pressing kisses around her chest gently before she looks up at cheryl with a soft smile.

 

“let me do the work, baby…you just relax and enjoy the ride.” she teases, waggling her eyebrows and causing cheryl to groan and roll her eyes for a completely different reason than she did before, but she bites down on her lower lip and nods as toni’s grip on her hips tightens to almost bruising pressure before she’s pulling cheryl down onto the toy once more, lifting her hips up off the bed to get it in deeper as cheryl collapses forward and braces her hands on the headboard behind toni’s head.

 

“are you…gonna do all the work…all night?” cheryl gasps out between thrusts, her brow furrowing in ecstasy as toni begins nipping at her collarbones with her teeth playfully.

 

“mmm, you’ll get your turn when i’m done…” toni murmurs, raising an eyebrow and thrusting her hips up higher as cheryl bucks forward subconsciously with a loud whine. toni immediately latches her lips around a nipple, sucking lightly as cheryl’s fingers find purchase in her sweat soaked hair, threading through the pink strands as she lets toni take complete control.

 

god, the way she’s gripping onto cheryl’s hips… _the pressure…_

 

“do i… _fuck_ , just like that…” cheryl whimpers, unable to finish her sentence when toni thrusts in particularly hard, causing the ridges of the toy to glide across her g-spot _perfectly._

 

“do you what?” toni chuckles, pulling away from her breasts with a loud pop before she’s moving to the next one eagerly. cheryl swallows thickly and tries again.

 

“do i get…a say in…when you’re done with me?” she croaks out, licking her lips and looking down as toni pulls away from her with the most devilish smirk on her face…

 

_oh shit…_

 

“do you _want_ a say in when i’m done with you?” she says in a low voice, nails digging into the skin of her hips before they’re moving around to cup a greedy handful of her backside, causing cheryl to buck forward onto the toy with a small gasp.

 

on one hand, she’s pretty sure her body can’t take anymore, but on the other fucking hand…the idea of toni pulling orgasm after orgasm from her as _she_ pleases…

 

it’s that thing of no control again. as much as cheryl as fought so hard so gain control over her personal life (and she likes to think she’s succeeded in doing so for the most part), the idea of not having control while having sex…fuck, it’s such a turn on, and cheryl can’t explain why.

 

nor does she really want to. if it’s a turn on, it’s a turn on, and she’s going to use it to her advantage.

 

she licks her lips again before she looks into toni’s eyes and shakes her head, trying her best to contain the moan building in her throat at the idea of what toni is going to do to her and _how many times_ she’s going to do it the second the next words leave her mouth.

 

“no…you’re in control. my body is _yours,_ toni. do as you wish with it.” cheryl whispers with the most tender smile she can muster in her exhaustion taking over her face.

 

she’s expecting toni to go into overdrive, to more than likely fuck her brains out and leave her a complete and utter mess on top of the bed they’re currently on, but to her shock, toni looks up at her in awe, her eyes shining with tears before she’s pulling cheryl up and off her lap and gently laying her down on the bed, settling in between her legs and pressing kisses to every inch of her face lovingly as cheryl giggles and wraps her arms around her to hold her close. 

 

“god, cher-bear…the fact that you’re giving me that power, that you _trust_ me enough to have you like that…i love you, cheryl, i really, really do, you’re so fucking beautiful…and amazing…and smart…and just _perfect._ ” toni says hoarsely between kisses to her neck and jawline before she moves up and places the most tender kiss of all those her bruised, bitten and swollen lips of cheryl’s. 

 

cheryl grips toni’s face between her hands, looking deep into chocolate brown eyes filled with love and warmth before she leans up to nip at toni’s bottom lip playfully.

 

“and you…you’re the light in my darkness, toni. you’ve healed the parts of me i never thought could be healed…you’re my strength and my weakness all at once, and i don’t think i ever have, or ever will, love anyone as much as i love you.” cheryl whispers, smiling as toni looks down at her with tears in her eyes before she leans down and kisses cheryl deeply, her hands moving to grip her hips once more, digging into the bruises already there as she pulls cheryl in closer to her own hips and sinks the toy back into her gently.

 

cheryl pulls away from toni’s lips with a hiss and a sharp gasp, lips parting as she cups a hand around the back of toni’s neck to dig her nails into her skin, toni’s lips trailing down to kiss her neck as she slowly begins thrusting, giving cheryl time to adjust once more.

 

cheryl whimpers as she feels her second orgasm approaching, back arching off the bed as toni takes advantage of it and snakes an around under her back to pull her chest up to her lips further, nipping and biting at the skin before she’s swirling her tongue around a rosy, perky bud. cheryl wraps her legs around toni’s waist to push her in further, and toni growls around the skin of her breast before she’s pulling away and suddenly grabbing cheryl’s wrists, pinning her arms up above her head with a cocked eyebrow and a smirk.

 

“what happened to letting me do all the work?” she pants out, leaning down to nip at cheryl’s bottom lip playfully as the red haired girl arches up into her once more with a moan.

 

“i’m sorry-.”

 

“you keep those legs where they are, bombshell, but if you use them to rush me again, i’m tying them to the headboard.”

 

when cheryl simply makes a face indicating she wouldn’t at all mind that, toni laughs loudly and digs her hands into cheryl’s wrists to push her arms into the bed further before she’s pushing into her slowly and teasingly.

 

“you’re so fucking cheeky…” she laughs, grinning when cheryl whines and bites down on her bottom lip to stop herself from using her legs to push toni in further.

 

“toni, p-please…” cheryl whimpers, all traces of humor gone as this need to get her release overtakes her body, the pounding of her inner walls and the ache of them making her desperate as toni hums softly and leans down to pepper her bruised and bitten neck with kisses, but she surprisingly obeys, quickens her pace and begins pounding into cheryl as hard and as fast as she can while her hands continue holding cheryl’s hostage above her head.

 

it only takes a few more thrusts before cheryl’s thighs are clenching around toni’s waist and her back is arching off the bed, loud, filthy moans escaping her as toni slows her thrusts down until she stills completely, her hands finally letting go of cheryl’s to slide down her arms lightly.

 

“are you okay?” toni whispers into her ear, taking in cheryl’s furrowed brow with concern as the red haired girl whines with each inch of the toy that toni pulls out of her, leaving her aching and throbbing on top of the bed in exhaustion.

 

“i…can’t…feel my body…” cheryl breathes out, glaring up at toni as the girl laughs before she moves up off cheryl to stand on the bed beside her. cheryl closes her eyes and lets herself breathe for a few moments, her throat dry and her limbs in desperate need of a massage from how much they’ve been clenching today-

 

she hears the telltale sign of the harness dropping to the floor, feels the weight on the bed shift, but before she can even open her eyes, something hot and wet trails up her inner thighs before reaching her core-

 

“fuck, toni!” cheryl’s eyes fly open, a loud groan escaping her as toni’s tongue works circles onto the neglected, strained bud, and it’s relieving in the same sense that it’s also terrifying, because god, her clit has been throbbing non-stop since they started and it’s _finally_ getting the attention it needs, but she _can’t have another one_ -

 

_you gave toni control over your body, this is what you get._

 

it’s such a conflicting mess of emotions, because god, cheryl _wants_ to keep going because fuck, her body is aching in such a _good_ way, cheryl’s addicted to how it feels, but at the same time, she’s not sure her brain can handle another wave of pleasure like that-

 

toni focuses solely stimulating her clit, tongue drawing circles and moving from gentle to harsh, from fast to slow with the snap of a fingers and leaving cheryl this dripping, wanton mess in the middle of the bed, unable to do anything but hook her legs over toni’s shoulders and grab a fistful of her hair to tug on occasionally, sweat clinging to every inch of both their skins as toni hums against her-

 

the vibrations have her back snapping up off the bed as her third orgasm catches her by surprise, her throat incapable of screaming or moaning anymore as her nails dig into toni’s scalp and the pink haired serpent helps her through it, gentle licks around the hood and through her center to calm her down before she’s using her hands to push cheryl’s hips further into the bed-

 

her lips wrap around cheryl’s clit once more before she begins sucking, and cheryl’s pretty sure she fucking _blacks out._

 

“t-toni, i c-can’t, please-.”

 

“shh, one more, baby…” toni breathes, blowing cool air over her center and causing her hips to twitch as she squeezes her eyes shut, tears leaking out of the corners of her eyes before she can stop them.

 

“we can stop if you want, cher-bear, you know i’ll never force you to do something you don’t want to, but i want one more, baby…can you do that for me?” 

 

one more…she can do that for toni…

 

cheryl twists the sheets between her fingers before she licks her lips and looks down at toni before giving her a simple nod, and toni inhales sharply before she begins kissing the inside of her hot thighs tenderly with a smile.

 

“you’re so good to me, baby girl…so good to me.” toni croaks out her praise, and cheryl feels a shiver run up her spine at the sound of her words, a kink she hadn’t even realized she had suddenly blooming to the surface.

 

“do you like it when i say things like that, cher-bear?” toni whispers, a hand smoothing over her stomach, and she can feel her stomach muscles rippling beneath toni’s touch…

 

it’s almost embarrassing to admit, but she’s with toni, she’s _safe_ , and cheryl knows she can trust toni with absolutely everything.

 

so despite the flush in her cheeks, she bites down on her bottom lip and nods slowly, looking down at toni with a soft smile to see the pink haired girl smiling back up at her just as softly, another kiss pressed to the inside of her left thigh.

 

"you're such a good girl, cher...my good girl..." she whispers before she’s attaching her lips to cheryl’s clit once more, cheryl trying not to shudder at the sound of those words and the fucking affect they have on her.

 

great, she has a praise kink.

 

toni's never gonna stop teasing her for it now.

 

she works cheryl back up slowly, being careful and gentle as her hands push cheryl’s hips into the bed to stop her from bucking them upwards, her legs twitching over toni’s shoulders as that familiar pit builds up in her stomach once more-

 

with a cry of her lover’s name on her lips, cheryl gives herself over to the pleasure that sweeps through her, allows herself to feel every inch of the complete and utter euphoria pounding through her core and her body as toni, gentle, kind toni, licks every inch of her arousal off her thighs and center obsessively, as if she can’t get enough of the taste of her…

 

toni doesn’t stop even when cheryl’s body is fully relaxed on the bed once more, but she’s careful to avoid cheryl’s clit completely until she’s satisfied with her work. she makes her way up cheryl’s body, kiss after kiss pressed to her heated skin until she’s hovering over cheryl with a smile.

 

cheryl simply gives her back a lazy one, barely able to keep her eyes open, and toni fucking topaz, god bless her, begins squeezing the muscles of cheryl’s thighs, massaging them tenderly to increase the blood flow to them before she moves up to her arms to do the same.

 

“you were amazing, cher-bear.” toni says hoarsely, leaning in to kiss her neck while her hands continue to grip and squeeze the muscle of her arms. cheryl parts her lips and sucks in a harsh breath her body still trembling with the aftershocks of four fucking orgasms in a row before she nudges her nose against toni’s brow to get her to lift her head, which she does.

 

she’s so tired, but there’s no fucking way in hell she’s going to sleep without getting toni off, too. not after everything she just did tonight, not after everything she’s done for her in the entire fucking time they’ve known each other…

 

her body is throbbing with a different kind of lust now, and all she wants is to see toni’s face as she climaxes, the way her brow furrows and her lips part as her eyes squeeze shut and her body trembles, the sound of her moans, _god…_

 

“i…can’t move…but i want you, i want you so badly, toni…” cheryl whispers into her ear, unable to contain her grin at the way toni shivers above her at her words.

 

“what are you suggesting, baby?” toni breathes, and cheryl’s grin only widens before she moves her hands down to toni’s hips and tugs her forward until her soaked center is resting on cheryl’s stomach.

 

toni looks down at her in slight confusion, but sits up straight before cheryl tugs her up higher-

 

toni catches on, her eyes widening in shock before she’s biting down on her lower lip and slowly making her way further up cheryl’s body until her knees are resting on either side of cheryl’s head.

 

cheryl immediately hooks her arms around toni’s thighs, nails digging into her skin as her heart races and excitement takes over.

 

they’ve never done this before, but cheryl’s been wanting to try it for weeks now…

 

her hands move up to toni’s hips before she’s pulling her down to her face, and the second her tongue snakes out to flick against toni’s clit, the pink haired serpent bucks her hips and falls forward onto her hands, gripping the edge of the bed and letting out a loud moan before cheryl rests a hand on her stomach to push her back up until she’s upright once more, her eyes roaming up toni’s glistening body as her tongue drags up and down toni’s folds, each stroke matching the way toni rolls her hips down into her mouth as her eyes squeeze shut and her lips part to gasp in air.

 

“just like that, baby…fuck…” toni breathes, hands gripping the ones cheryl has resting on her thighs before she’s curling her fingers around her right wrist and tugging her hand up to rest over her right breast. cheryl squeezes the flesh roughly, works her tongue harder and faster as toni lets out a loud whine and continues rolling her hips against cheryl’s tongue desperately.

 

“k-keep going, cher, oh _god!_ ” 

 

cheryl obeys, can’t think of doing anything else as the hand gripping toni’s thigh pulls her down further, her lips closing around toni’s clit to suck harshly-

 

cheryl can feel the heat radiating from the inside of toni’s thighs around her ears as toni rolls her hips down against cheryl’s face with a loud cry of her name, the gush of her arousal coating cheryl’s lips and chin as she works diligently to get clean her up, but as soon toni’s orgasm is done, she doesn’t stop, forces toni’s body to stay up and feeling slightly smug at the payback she’s getting right now as she moves the hand around toni’s thigh to plunge two fingers straight into slick heat-

 

she curls her fingers upwards as toni whimpers and whines above her, her fingers threading through cheryl’s hair as cheryl’s free hand moves down to grip her hips and pull her down onto her fingers, the pads of her index and middle fingers rubbing against toni’s g-spot and curling against it as her tongue continues circling her clit in harsh circles that have toni gasping for air and clinging to cheryl for dear life, nails digging into her scalp-

 

"come on, kitten, give me one more." cheryl breathes against her, smirking at the way toni whimpers, and just like that, with a thrust of her fingers before her lips close around toni’s clit, the pink haired serpent is _gone._

 

she clenches around cheryl’s fingers greedily, her mouth open in a silent cry of pleasure as her eyes squeeze shut, and cheryl watches in complete and utter awe, her fingers soaked as they plunge in and out of toni’s center, slowing down and helping toni ride out her orgasm as a loud, drawn out moan escapes her-

 

her hips stutter before cheryl pulls her fingers out of her and toni rolls over to collapse down beside her, a high pitched whine escaping her as her body twitches with the aftershocks of both orgasms. cheryl licks her lips, the taste of toni still clinging to her tastebuds as they both simply lie there breathlessly panting for air desperately until toni finally manages to move her body over cheryl’s with a groan.

 

she drapes herself over cheryl’s stomach, the red haired girl chuckling despite herself at the way toni’s head comes to rest in the crook of her elbow, and she uses her other hand to brush her fingers up and down toni’s spine lovingly, relishing in the goosebumps that erupt over caramel skin and the way toni shudders at her touch.

 

“holy shit...” is all toni manages to croak out, dragging her body up until she’s curled up against cheryl’s side with her head resting on cheryl’s chest.

 

cheryl wraps her arms around her tightly, fingers brushing over sweat soaked skin as she feels herself drifting off to sleep almost immediately, her pounding heart calming down with each passing second that she feels toni’s gentle fingers dancing up and down her sides. 

 

“i think that was the best sex we’ve ever had.” toni says incredulously, looking up at cheryl with a scoff of disbelief as cheryl looks down at her with a lazy smile and a raised eyebrow.

 

“you say that every time we have sex.” she teases, her head falling back against the bed tiredly as toni begins kissing her neck and collarbone tenderly.

 

“mmm, because we somehow manage to have better sex every single time…” toni murmurs, grinning down at cheryl before she’s pressing a kiss to her lips slowly and softly.

 

they kiss each other languidly for a few moments, simply relishing in the presence of each other before cheryl pulls away noisily and brushes away the hair clinging to toni’s sweat soaked neck and face, tucking it behind her ear with a soft smile.

 

“i am so in love with you, toni topaz.” she whispers, eyes roaming over the face that’s given her nothing but happiness for the last three months.

 

toni’s eyes immediately fill with warmth before she leans down and kisses the corner of cheryl’s mouth once more.

 

“and i…am so unconditionally in love with you too, cheryl blossom.” she whispers back. cheryl’s heart aches in the most beautiful way, those words reverberating over and over again in her mind as toni settles back down against her chest, their bodies warm enough curled up against each other, limbs entangles and sweaty caramel skin sticking to equally sweaty pale skin, to keep them from getting cold as unbeknownst to them, snow begins to fall down outside the trailer, welcoming in the month of december to the small town of riverdale.

 

it's quiet for a few moments before:

 

"so...praise kink, huh?"

 

"ugh, you're absolutely _insufferable._ "


	15. she has love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is going WHOOSH with a big breakthrough for lil cheryl blossom. oof, i was proud writing it.
> 
> anyway, leave a comment letting me know what you think, or you can write me on twitter at @endofdaysforme!
> 
> thanks for reading guys! we're getting close to the end! :(

the sound of loud knocking at the far end of the trailer is what wakes her in the very, _very_ early hours of thursday morning. 

 

cheryl groans into her pillow, her mind registering the pain zapping through her body and the stiffness in her joints as she inhales the mixture of hers and toni’s scent on the pillow with a smile, the arm around her waist tightening before another low groan resounds behind her.

 

“fuck, what time is it?” toni grumbles, burying her face into the back of cheryl’s hair with a deep sigh as the red haired girl simply shrugs and relishes in the feeling of toni’s naked chest pressed against her similarly bare back. 

 

“they’ll go away.” she murmurs, her voice thick with sleep as toni drops a kiss to her shoulder and pulls her impossibly closer. 

 

apparently, she’s very wrong.

 

the loud knocking continues, and toni whines behind her, but cheryl refuses to open her eyes, is adamant that whoever the fuck is knocking will go away if they just ignore it for long enough-

 

“fuck, it’s still dark out, who the fuck…” toni growls in disbelief, the knocking echoing out once more before toni lets out a sigh of frustration and throws the covers off herself. cheryl whines, her hand reaching out to grab toni and pull her back down, but the girl moves out of her reach before she can.

 

“i’m coming!” she yells out angrily, shoving on her underwear, pajama pants and a hoodie hastily as cheryl cuddles up under the blankets once more with a tired sigh, less than pleased that she’s hearing those words leave her girlfriend’s mouth in a different manner than the one she’s used to hearing...

 

she hears toni chuckle before the sound of feet shuffling echoes out, and soft fingers rake through her hair before a gentle kiss is placed on her forehead, the insistent knocking forgotten in this moment of affection.

 

“stay here, okay?” toni murmurs. cheryl simply nods against her with her eyes still closed, and toni’s lips are gone in an instant, the sound of her bedroom door opening and closing reaching cheryl’s ears before she hears the sound of muffled voices.

 

“it’s four in the morning, jughead, what the fuck?” cheryl hears toni growl, and cheryl’s heart immediately plummets.

 

fuck…despite the fact that she’s been living here for almost a month now, she and toni have been careful about cheryl being seen around the trailer park. when they went out for a smoke or some fresh air, they went to the back of the trailer, facing the forest so no one would see them, and as much as cheryl kind of hates being cooped up in toni’s trailer on some days, she’d rather suffer the claustrophobia than cause toni any kind of trouble, no matter how much toni tells her she doesn’t give a damn what jughead or the other serpents think about cheryl living here.

 

“it’s _my_ trailer, baby. they can’t say shit.” toni had grumbled to her one day while they lay exactly where cheryl is right now. but still…cheryl knows the trailer park is home to the southside serpents, but would they really be so opposed to the partner of a serpent living here, too?

 

“is she still here?” jughead’s voice echoes out, his voice not so much angry, but more tired as toni makes a noise of protest and the sound of scuffling reaches cheryl’s ears, causing her eyes to snap open with concern.

 

“hey, asshole, i don’t remember saying you could come in! and what the fuck are you talking about?” toni hisses angrily. cheryl licks her lips nervously before she hears jughead sigh.

 

“i know cheryl’s here, toni! hogeye’s seen her hanging around a lot lately, and he’s concerned you’re _this_ close to just letting her live here!” jughead exclaims loudly. cheryl’s heart begins racing wildly.

 

_fuck, fuck, fuck-_

 

“oh yeah? so fucking what? this is _my_ trailer and she’s _my_ girlfriend!” toni snarls, the anger in her voice something cheryl’s never heard before as the red haired girl quickly throws the blankets off her body and starts getting dressed, her heart pounding against her chest painfully.

 

fuck, she should’ve accepted veronica’s offer to stay at the pembrooke _weeks_ ago-

 

“i know that, toni, and if cheryl needs somewhere to stay, she’s more than welcome here, but you _have_ to be better at keeping her hidden! hogeye’s a dick, we all know that, but he’s not the only one who thinks that only serpents should live here. just…be more careful, toni. that’s all i’m saying.” 

 

oh.

 

well then…that’s unexpected. 

 

toni’s silent, and cheryl pauses as well, one foot through a pair of toni’s sweatpants as she frowns and stares at the door in hesitation, contemplating whether or not she should show herself. 

 

sure, she’s probably only spoken one or two words to jughead, and the only connection they really have is the fact that he’s dating her cousin, but was he really willing to let her live here under the radar? 

 

“i…jughead, look, it’s a long story, like…a _really_ long story-.”

 

“i don’t need to hear it, besides, betty’s told me she’s going through a rough time…like i said, if she needs a place to stay, she’s welcome to stay here with you. it is _your_ trailer, toni. just keep her out of sight of the older serpents and…keep the noise down.” jughead says with an awkward chuckle. cheryl feels her cheeks immediately burn, groaning when she hears toni laugh loudly.

 

“right…got it. sorry.” toni says through her laughter, and cheryl bites down on her bottom lip before she pulls her shirt down and races towards the bedroom door, throwing it open and making her way into the kitchen.

 

“jughead?” cheryl sees the beanie wearing boy at the front door that’s held ajar by toni, the serpent king’s son turning around at the sound of his name, and cheryl catches a flash of the two headed snake on the back of his jacket before he stares at her with a surprisingly gentle smile, toni also turning around to look at her with a sigh.

 

they both simply stare, and cheryl plays with the sleeve of her shirt nervously before she clears her throat and smiles lightly.

 

“thank you.” she croaks out, swallowing thickly as she fights back her tears. she may not know him very well, but the fact that he’s okay with her staying here, is willing to protect her from those who won’t be as welcoming as him…

 

it means a lot, surprisingly. and perhaps he’s only doing this because of her relation to betty, but still…it’s more than most people have done for her in her life other than her three best friends and her girlfriend.

 

toni purses her lips as jughead sighs and simply gives cheryl a small smile.

 

“you’re welcome, cheryl.” he says softly before he gives toni a small nod and makes his way down the steps of her front door. toni sighs again before she closes the door slowly, letting it click shut as she turns to look at cheryl with a raised eyebrow.

 

“i said stay in the bedroom.” she murmurs, making her way over to cheryl and immediately wrapping her arms around the girl’s neck in a tight embrace. cheryl buries her face into toni’s hair with a sigh, pressing a kiss to her neck as she does.

 

“i know, but i didn’t want to be rude and not say thank you to him…” cheryl trails off with a grumble, wrapping her arms around toni’s waist and squeezing affectionately. toni chuckles into her ear before pressing a kiss to it, and she pulls back and tucks a lock of hair behind cheryl’s ear with a loving smile. 

 

“are you okay?” she asks softly. cheryl returns her smile and simply nods, leaning down to press a kiss to the corner of toni’s mouth gently.

 

“i’m okay. why did he have to do this so early in the morning though?” she says with a tired sigh, eliciting a grumble of agreement from toni as the pink haired serpent rolls her eyes and shrugs.

 

“who knows, probably so that no one else saw him.” she murmurs, brushing her thumb across cheryl’s cheekbone before trailing it down to rest it against her pulse point. cheryl’s breath hitches slightly, her teeth gnawing on her bottom lip immediately as her stomach begins burning with that all too familiar sensation.

 

toni laughs, her eyes widening and all sleep immediately erasing as she pushes her thumb down a little harder with a raised eyebrow.

 

“hmm…does this always set you off, baby?” she teases, grinning from ear to ear as cheryl swallows thickly and whines at the way toni’s thumb digs into her pulse because of it.

 

“you know it does.” cheryl breathes, looking into the pink haired serpent’s eyes as the girl looks at the clock on the microwave with a smirk.

 

“well, it’s four in the morning. we can either get more sleep or we can-.”

 

cheryl’s answer is given in a desperate kiss, toni making a noise of surprise before she’s breathing deeply into the kiss and pushing cheryl back towards the bedroom quickly. cheryl throws her hand behind her and shoves the door open, giggling as toni pushes her back towards the bed and collapses down on top of her as soon as the back of her knees hit the bed, causing her to fall backwards on it, the both of them laughing before toni shushes her with a wicked glint in her eyes.

 

“we have to keep it down, remember?” she pants, grinning as cheryl arches her back into toni’s body breathlessly.

 

“ugh, i knew everyone could hear us.”

 

“he can go fuck himself, i like hearing you scream.” toni purrs, her lips moving down to attack cheryl’s neck with teeth and lips that are so insistent on her pale skin, cheryl feels her body beginning to vibrate against her. 

 

“i’ll k-keep it down, t.t-.”

 

“you think you can?” toni laughs against her skin, reaching for the hem of her shirt and immediately pulling it up and over her head quickly before she straddles cheryl’s waist, knees on either side of her body. her backside rests on cheryl’s thighs, and despite the cold weather, cheryl can _feel_ the heat radiating off her, god-

 

“i’ll try, i gu-oh!” cheryl’s cut off by toni’s hand sliding into her sweatpants, fingers brushing over her hipbones before she kisses cheryl’s throat with a giggle.

 

“no underwear?!”

 

“i was in a hurry!” cheryl groans, prompting more laughter from her girlfriend before she moves off the bed and pulls her sweatpants off cheryl’s body.

 

cheryl feels the goosebumps immediately rise on her skin from the cold, a shiver running up her spine as toni pulls off her own clothes quickly. cheryl takes a second to stare at toni’s naked body in appreciation before her girlfriend moves back over cheryl’s body, lips closing around a hardened nipple before her teeth are tugging on the bud harshly. 

 

“toni…” cheryl breathes, her fingers moving through pink hair as toni hums around her breast happily. cheryl bites her bottom lip with hesitation before she looks down at toni with a breathless pant.

 

“sh-should i g-go to the pembrooke-.”

 

“you’re not going anywhere, cheryl. you’re staying right here with me, and if someone has a problem with it, they can confront me about it instead of going to jughead like pussies.” toni growls, teeth nipping at her breast before she moves to the other, pink hair brushing against the skin of cheryl’s stomach and making her whimper with need, but the affection that floods her at toni’s words is palpable.

 

she was willing to fight tooth and nail for cheryl’s place here by her side, and god, it only makes cheryl fall in love with her even _more…_ something she truly thought was impossible at this point.

 

“mmm, speaking of pussy…” toni murmurs, moving down cheryl’s body further as the girl beneath her groans and arches her back off the bed into toni’s attacking teeth and lips desperately.

 

“what do you want, baby? my fingers or my mouth? or…both?” toni breathes, tongue snaking out to soothe the wounds of her teeth scraping over the skin of her ribs before she looks up at cheryl with a soft smile. cheryl bites back a whimper and answers by gripping toni’s hair between her fingers and pushing her down to her center, heavy pants of anticipation escaping her as toni falls down to her knees over the edge of the bed.

 

toni’s teeth sink down on her inner thigh as she hooks cheryl’s legs over her shoulders.

 

“verbal answer, cher. give it to me.” toni says sternly, biting down harder in reprimand as cheryl whines and pushes her body further down the bed toward toni.

 

“you’re so b-bossy, fuck-.”

 

“mmm, and you like it that way, don’t you?” toni murmurs, not even giving cheryl a chance to answer as her tongue flattens against cheryl’s center, dragging up slowly until her lips close around her clit and suck harshly.

 

cheryl’s eyes flutter closed, her grip in toni’s hair tightening as she lets out a quiet but audible moan, forcing herself to not get too loud. 

 

“don’t you, cher? you’re being really quiet when i need you to tell me…what i wanna hear.” toni presses a kiss below her belly button before she moves back down, tongue moving against her in a mixture of gentle and harsh that only has the red head whining louder in pleasure.

 

“y-yes, i l-like it-.”

 

“how much do you like it?” toni breathes, and god, even though cheryl’s eyes are closed, unable to even remotely open to witness the sight below her due to the absolute pleasure flooding her body, she can almost _feel_ the shit eating grin on her girlfriend’s face right now-

 

“come on, cher, tell me how much you like it…” cheryl feels three fingers gather up the arousal dripping from her, the nails of toni’s other hand scratching down her stomach tenaciously, using cheryl’s body and marking it whichever way she likes, and god, cheryl’s more than happy to let her-

 

“i l-love it, toni, p-please!” 

 

“mmm, good girl…move up the bed for me, baby, i wanna try something…” toni moves away from her completely, chuckling at cheryl’s whine of protest before she pushes herself up with shaky arms and practically speed crawls up to the top of the bed, flopping down on the pillows and watching breathlessly with anticipation as toni fishes through the drawer and pulls out the toy that hasn’t been touched since sunday night.

 

oh fuck, cheryl’s barely even recovered from sunday…

 

cheryl’s surprised when she closes the drawer without pulling out the harness as well, but she bites her lip regardless, watches toni with hooded eyes as the pink haired girl makes her way over to the bed with a smirk. 

 

“legs spread, cher. there you go…” cheryl inhales sharply as toni grips her bent knee and pulls her legs open impatiently, throwing the dildo onto the bed and settling down between cheryl’s legs with her hands on either side of her body.

 

“mmm, be patient for me, i wanna worship your body a little longer…” toni breathes, pressing open mouthed kisses down cheryl’s stomach, a soft moan escaping her when the muscles ripple against her lips in anticipation. cheryl’s eyes fall down on the wolf tattoo on toni’s forearm, a light smile curling her lips up as she runs her fingers through toni’s hair.

 

“toni?” she croaks out. the girl looks up at her with a hum of acknowledgement, a pink tongue snaking out to wet her lips before cheryl cradles her face in her hands and pulls her down to her own lips for a gentle kiss.

 

“i love you.” cheryl whispers against them, needing to tell the pink haired serpent how she feels in this moment, her smile only growing wider when toni giggles and peppers kisses all over her face lovingly.

 

“i love you too, cher-bear. i’m gonna rock your world, baby, i promise.”

 

“you do every time, t.t. but go on…” cheryl mumbles, grinning when toni laughs lightly and nudges her nose under cheryl’s chin to get her to tilt her head up, hot breath ghosting against her skin before she begins pressing kisses down the column of cheryl’s throat. 

 

“mmm, are you gonna do whatever i want you to do?” toni breathes, pulling away and looking up into cheryl’s eyes with a look that cheryl’s seen at least a handful of times before. a look that tells her that toni wants to take complete control as she nods without hesitation.

 

“whatever you want, toni. i’m yours.” cheryl whispers back hoarsely, tucking a lock of hair behind toni’s ear tenderly, more than willing to give every inch of herself to this girl she trusts more than she does herself. 

 

toni won’t take it too far, because toni loves her and cheryl knows she could put her life in toni’s hands and she’d escape with barely a scratch. the trust between them is insurmountable, something cheryl’s never had before in her life…but god, is she glad to have it now…

 

toni bites down on her bottom lip before she’s kissing cheryl deeply, the kiss turning heated as her tongue slides against cheryl’s diligently. she grips the wrist of the hand skating up and down her side, fingers curling before she moves cheryl’s hand down to her center right beneath her own body.

 

“touch yourself.” she purrs, engaging cheryl’s mouth once again with her own as the girl groans against her and timidly begins rubbing her fingers against herself slowly.

 

“don’t be shy, cher-bear, get into it, baby…” toni murmurs against her lips, continuing their make out session as soon as she’s done talking, and toni takes control of the kiss as cheryl’s fingers move harder against her clit, a whine sounding low in her throat that toni quickly swallows with those lips of hers moving so insistently against cheryl’s-

 

“toni, i need you-.”

 

“i know, shh…” toni pulls away from her and looks down, watching cheryl’s fingers move against herself in complete and utter awe before she licks her lips and leans down to begin sucking a bruise into cheryl’s pulse point, her goddamn weak spot, and toni knows this, fuck-

 

“say you’re mine again.” toni breathes, nails digging into her cheryl’s sides as she tenses up and lets out a soft moan.

 

“i’m yours, toni, all yours-.” she’s cut off by toni’s lips crashing against hers hungrily, the pink haired serpent whining against her as cheryl obeys and moves with her, the both of them so in tune with each other, the chemistry heating up the room despite the snow that’s beginning to fall once again outside… 

 

god, cheryl has no idea how long they’re kissing for, lips smacking noisily, teeth clacking and tongues sliding against each other’s languidly as cheryl’s fingers begin moving against herself faster the more she feels herself getting closer and closer to her climax-

 

toni grips her wrist the second she feels the telltale signs of cheryl’s orgasm approaching, the heat radiating off her body and the way her muscles all begin to tense-

 

“that orgasm’s _mine_ , cheryl.” toni hisses suddenly, the fucking _power_ in her voice making cheryl tremble slightly beneath her, but she decides to be brave for a second, lets out a shaky breath as she moves her hand out of toni’s grip and instead lifts it up to toni’s lips with a raised eyebrow in question.

 

“taste it, then, kitten.” she whispers, cursing herself in her mind for how her voice shakes submissively, but toni grins, returning her fingers around cheryl’s wrist and pulling her soaked fingers to her lips, her tongue snaking out and licking off every inch of arousal from them with a low moan of pleasure as cheryl watches her with complete and utter breathless lust.

 

 _she’s not real, my fucking god, she can’t be real…_

 

“thank you, cher-bear.” toni whispers once she’s done, pressing a kiss to her palm and smiling as she leans down to kiss her softly, the taste of cheryl lingering on her tongue before she begins making her way down cheryl’s body once more, her hand reaching out to grip the toy on the bed behind her as she uses her hips to knock cheryl’s legs further apart. 

 

“are you ready, baby?” toni asks softly, looking up at her questioningly, and cheryl bites down on her bottom lip before she nods once, knowing her body well enough to know it can handle whatever toni has planned for her despite the rough sex from sunday night still affecting her.

 

“i’m ready.” 

 

“mmm…good.” and without warning, toni presses the toy to her entrance before she pushes in slowly, cheryl’s back arching off the bed as she groans loudly and claps a hand over her mouth to stop herself from being too loud. 

 

okay, yeah, she’s definitely still sore from sunday, but god, this feels _good-_

 

“nuh uh, none of that, hand away from your mouth, cheryl.” toni says firmly, and fuck, cheryl really doesn’t want to, but she promised toni she’d do whatever she wanted-

 

_be quiet, cheryl, just be quiet-_

 

the toy drags through her inner walls as toni pulls out and pushes back in, the ridges sliding against cheryl perfectly despite the pain she still feels from it being used on her a few nights ago, but toni’s fingers quickly begin rubbing over her clit to get that pleasure pounding through her once more, her thrusts moving harder into her the more she sees cheryl beginning to writhe on the bed in a mixture of pleasure and agony.

 

“b-baby-.”

 

“deep breaths, cher.” toni pants, grinning widely as the red head’s legs twitch on either side of toni’s body.

 

“i c-can’t…i can’t k-keep quiet, t-toni, please!” cheryl whimpers, her voice five pitches higher as toni pushes into her faster, pulling a loud groan from her that she tries to muffle into the pillow her head is resting on, her body twisting to the side slightly from the action and causing the toy to drive in at an angle that has her gasping and fisting the sheets desperately with a soft cry-

 

“stay right there, cher, right fucking there, holy shit…” toni breathes, staring at the girl’s writhing body in awe before she’s suddenly straddling cheryl’s raised right leg, placing herself over cheryl’s thigh and using her spare hand to scratch down cheryl’s back eagerly.

 

cheryl feels the wetness of toni’s arousal on her skin, and she immediately reaches out, her hands blindly searching for toni’s hips to encourage her to grind against her leg. toni gasps as soon as cheryl pulls her down against her thigh, her body bending over cheryl’s as she begins pressing kisses up the side of her body-

 

“cheryl, fuck-.” toni chokes out, a whine escaping her as she crashes her lips against cheryl’s to muffle both their loud moans, her hand between cheryl’s legs still working the toy in and out of her roughly as her hips move faster against cheryl’s thigh.

 

cheryl twists back onto her back with the toy still inside her, the movement making her eyes fly open as she gasps against toni’s lips wildly.

 

toni’s grinding her center against cheryl’s thigh in rhythm with her thrusts, her knee pushing the toy as far in as it can go, and god, cheryl’s on the verge of fucking _screaming-_

 

“cher, i’m c-close-.” 

 

cheryl doesn’t even hear the growl of approval that leaves her throat as she grabs toni’s hips and moves her harder against her thigh, causing the toy to thrust faster into her as a result, the bed shaking and hitting the wall loudly until cheryl’s back snaps up and the pleasure coursing through her body hits paramount-

 

cheryl’s scream is cut off by toni slamming her lips against hers, the both of them riding out their orgasms at the same time, and fuck, this has _never_ happened before, but the fact that toni is experiencing the same pleasure she is at the _exact same time-_

 

it’s fucking _ethereal_ , the way they’re both tensing up and moaning against each other, hands gripping and scratching eagerly with desperation for their bodies to be as close as humanly possible-

 

toni pretty much collapses on top of her, breathing heavily and whining against cheryl’s lips as her body twitches with the aftershocks of her orgasm, and cheryl’s nails dig in and drag up the skin of her back, the pink haired girl hissing before she kisses cheryl deeply with swollen lips. 

 

cheryl’s still clenching around the toy rapidly, her lungs desperate for air as toni pulls it out of her slowly, eliciting a loud whine from the red head that toni easily swallows with an urgent kiss before she pulls away and looks into cheryl’s eyes in awe, her nose brushing against cheryl’s affectionately.

 

“holy…shit…” toni croaks out, dropping the toy down beside them lazily before she simply throws herself against cheryl tiredly. cheryl laughs and wraps her shaking arms around her, her mind buzzing with static along with her body, unable to stop herself from letting out a soft groan when toni’s thigh brushes against her soaked core.

 

toni laughs breathlessly at the sound, her fingers brushing up and down cheryl’s sides as she rests her head on cheryl’s chest, her ear pressed against her collarbone where cheryl has no doubt she can _feel_ how hard cheryl’s heart is hammering against her skin. 

 

“just…give me a few minutes and we can do round two, baby-.”

 

“n-no, no round two, i’m…thoroughly fucked, toni.” cheryl whines in protest with a shake of her head, tightening her hold around toni as the girl laughs against her loudly.

 

“okay, good, because i don’t think i can move, cher-bear.” she pants out. cheryl smiles, humming as she presses a kiss to toni’s hairline affectionately. 

 

her phone chimes loudly, and cheryl reaches out to grab it off the bedside table, seeing a simple notification from instagram that she couldn’t care less about, her eyes falling instead on the time before she smiles at her phone wallpaper.

 

a picture of toni sleeping on her side, her scratched up back after a night of rough sex on display and her pink hair falling on white sheets and white pillows…perfection at its absolute best.

 

“it’s only four thirty…we can totally have a power nap, right?” cheryl croaks out, grinning when toni digs her nails into her sides and nods against her furiously.

 

“uh huh. power nap. sounds good.”

 

\------------------------

 

they barely make it to school on time.

 

it’s cheryl’s fault, really. they had woken up at seven thirty, and toni had suggested they shower together to save time, but cheryl just couldn’t resist, the sight of the old bruises from sunday and the new ones from this morning blooming beneath toni’s caramel skin too much for her to ignore. 

 

they’d barely made it into the shower before cheryl had sunk down to her knees, shoving toni against the wall and eating her out until the girl was begging for cheryl to stop, cheryl able to get the girl through four orgasms within the forty five minute time restraint they had.

 

balance. yin and yang. toni might be bossy and dominant most of the time, but she couldn’t help herself from letting cheryl have her own moments to shine. 

 

the bike ride here has been torture for them both, bodies sore and aching horribly, but only serving as a giddy reminder of the reason why as they swing their legs off toni’s bike with loud groans muffled by the helmets they’re wearing, grins on their faces regardless.

 

cheryl takes her helmet off and immediately lights up a cigarette, desperate to get one in before she has to rush inside to her first class, and toni follows suite, taking her helmet off and wincing as she stretches her legs out and looks at cheryl with a grin.

 

“so…what’s your first class?”

 

but cheryl isn’t listening.

 

her eyes, instead, are focused on the sight of her impala in the parking lot a few spaces away from them.

 

jason’s car.

 

 _her_ car.

 

“cher-bear?” toni’s voice is filled with concern as she takes in the way cheryl’s eyes immediately widen, the way she gasps before thick tears fall down her cheeks, and cheryl’s hand reaches up to touch the collar around her throat, fingers curling into it and gripping it tightly to keep herself grounded as the other hand reaches out for toni’s desperately.

 

“my…my car. she’s here, toni, _she’s_ here.” cheryl breathes, turning to look at her girlfriend in horror as toni’s eyes move over to her car at first in confusion, then realization.

 

“fuck…fuck, let’s go back home, cher-.”

 

“n-no, i…” cheryl chokes out, swallowing thickly and relishing in the feeling of her skin brushing against the collar from the action before she looks to toni and purses her lips with a shake of her head.

 

whatever she’s here for…she needs to know…

 

“i have t-to know why she’s h-here, t.t.” she croaks out, licking her lips and tasting the salt from her tears on her tongue as she lets out a shaky breath and squeezes toni’s hand in her own. the hesitation is clear as day on toni’s face, the anxiety in her eyes on display as she licks her lips and runs her free hand through her hair.

 

“i…alright, baby, if that’s what you want, but i’m gonna be right by your side, okay? i promise.” toni says firmly, not questioning cheryl for a second, just desperate to be by her girl’s side through whatever is waiting for her when she walks through those doors…

 

what was her mother doing here? and why did she come in cheryl’s car? was she perhaps giving it back to her? is there a chance penelope blossom might actually welcome her back with open arms and an apology?

 

she almost feels stupid for thinking it, because it’s so far beyond the realm of possibility, but she can’t help herself. what’s a life without a little bit of hope? but everything’s going so well, it’s of course, inevitable…that something bad _has_ to happen now to balance it all out…

 

cheryl doesn’t want to move, taking a long drag from her cigarette and wishing more than anything she could just stay here, but toni suddenly tugs her closer before she’s gripping cheryl’s face in her hands and kissing her deeply, the smoke leaving cheryl’s mouth surrounding them in a misty haze as she responds eagerly to the kiss with a whine, finger curling into toni’s shirt desperately.

 

toni pulls away slowly, eyes fluttering open as smoke leaves her own mouth, and cheryl lets out a shaky breath as toni’s thumbs brush over her cheekbones affectionately with a sad smile.

 

“you’re the hbic, cher-bear, remember? no one fucks with you. brave face, okay?” toni says softly before she’s scrunching up her face in mock anger and fierce determination, so reminiscent of the day that cheryl had asked her to be her girlfriend the night of the pep rally, toni telling her to stand up to her friends and be brave and strong…

 

but this is different, this is her mother, this…she can’t…she just _can’t-_

 

_yes you can. do it for **her.**_

 

cheryl’s bottom lip trembles before she nods, licking her lips and looking toward the entrance of the school as toni takes her cigarette from between her fingers and raises it to her own lips, sucking in the toxic fumes before she flicks it away and lets the smoke leave her mouth with a heavy exhale.

 

“let’s go.” she murmurs, interlacing her fingers with cheryl’s as they both make their way toward the entrance, cheryl’s heart in her throat and pounding against it painfully. she squeezes toni’s hand, trying to draw strength from her girlfriend, her brave, beautiful, amazing girlfriend…

 

“you’ll stay no matter what, right?” cheryl whispers, looking to toni anxiously, and the pink haired girl squeezes her hand back and leans up to press a kiss to her cheek.

 

“of course i will, baby. i’m gonna be right here by your side, okay?” toni says softly, and cheryl feels an immediate wave of calm wash over her at the words, a smile lighting up her face as she squares her shoulders and pushes through the front doors.

 

she can do this. whatever penelope has planned right now, whatever she’s here for…cheryl can handle it. she can, that woman has already taken her home, her money, _everything_ from her, cheryl’s not gonna let her take anything more…

 

“cheryl!?”

 

she spins around at the sound of her name, her hand clasping toni’s tightly as veronica, betty and josie suddenly make their way toward her quickly, all three of them wide eyed and looking more than upset as they come to a stop in front of her.

 

“cheryl, your mother is in the office, and-.”

 

“my mom’s told her she’s completely out of line, she’s fighting with her-.”

 

“we won’t let her get away with this, cheryl-.”

 

words upon words upon words as she blinks rapidly and tries to pull them apart in her mind, to process them-

 

a loud whistle sounds beside her, causing cheryl to wince as all three girls look at toni in surprise, the pink haired serpent staring at them with a raised eyebrow and a raised hand to silence them.

 

“slow down, you’re gonna overwhelm her. why is her mother here?” toni says calmly, looking to josie first, who lets out a shaky breath and looks at cheryl with a sigh of frustration and a firm shake of her head.

 

“my mom’s here on a mayoral visit, and she was talking to principal weatherbee in his office before your mother came barging in demanding to speak to him. i got kicked out so i didn’t get all of it, but she was saying something about pulling the funds for your education because you were no longer part of her family, and my mom lost it at her. she’s gonna make her see reason, cheryl, i-.”

 

cheryl doesn’t really hear the rest of her words, is too busy processing the ones she just said. 

 

_“…something about pulling the funds for your education because you were no longer part of her family…”_

 

it stings.

 

it more than stings, it burns a deep hole into her heart, the tears falling before she can even try to stop them as she her body slowly begins to shut down…

 

so that’s it. there was no chance, no possible way that she could fix things, even if deep down, she’s known it all along…

 

she’s really six months away from graduating high school…and her mother does this. she’s so close and now…now she won’t even get the chance to-

 

“is she still there?” toni says abruptly, the sound of her voice pulling cheryl out the darkness she’s quickly spiraling into, cutting off whatever josie was saying as all three girls nod, and toni lets out a shaky breath before she squeezes cheryl’s hand tightly and turns the red head to face her, gripping her face in her hands and brushing the tears away easily with a soft smile.

 

“brave face, baby. come on.” toni whispers, blinking back her own tears at the sight of cheryl’s pain and sniffing before she scrunches her nose in mock anger and fierce determination as always. 

 

cheryl whimpers, leans down and rests her forehead against toni’s with a trembling bottom lip before she sniffs back her tears and copies the pink haired serpent’s facial expression as best she can.

 

“brave face.” she breathes. toni hums softly, leans up to press a kiss to her forehead before she looks to her three best friends with a frown, cheryl unaware of the way they’re watching toni handle her in awe and wonder…

 

“can you come with us? she’s gonna need all the support she can get-.”

 

“yeah, of course!” they all say at the same time, scrambling to step aside and let cheryl through as toni chuckles and waits patiently for cheryl to dictate when they can begin walking down the hallway towards the office. 

 

cheryl only takes a few moments before she flips her hair back and makes her way with toni’s hand still clasped in her own.

 

_brave face, cheryl. brave face._

 

fuck it, she’ll fund herself, maybe there’s some kind of…some kind of quarterly payment method she can sort out with weatherbee, or…or something, she’ll think of something, it’ll be fine-

 

she’s gonna be fine. she doesn’t need her mother, doesn’t need the blossom’s money, doesn’t need _anything._ she’s chosen her family, and her family is _toni._ that’s all she needs.

 

“you are completely out of line, penelope-.”

 

“you have _no_ say in what i do with cheryl, sierra!”

 

toni’s the one to throw the door open, the southside serpent that rests so dormant inside her, the gang member that cheryl so very rarely sees alone in her company bursting forth as she bares her teeth and walks through with nothing but rage and hatred shining in those brown eyes of hers. 

 

it’s almost comical, the sight in front of them. sierra mccoy and penelope blossom standing inches apart from each other with principal weatherbee stood between them, trying to get them to stay civil with a look of utter fear on his face.

 

they all look up at the sound of the door banging against the wall, and god, cheryl’s heart is pounding so fast right now, she’s afraid she’s on the verge of having a fucking heart attack-

 

penelope makes eye contact with her, and for the first time in cheryl’s life, she doesn’t cower, doesn’t wince or begin crying at the look of complete and utter rage in her eyes.

 

toni’s here. penelope can’t hurt her.

 

and fuck it, _cheryl_ won’t let her, either. she’s worth more than anything penelope blossom can give her, including her love.

 

penelope’s eyes fall on toni beside her, and she flares her nostrils and huffs before she scoffs in disbelief and crosses her arms over her chest with a cold, dead look in her eyes reserved only for her daughter standing in front of her.

 

“so you still haven’t learned your lesson, then? still choosing to engage in this deviant behavior with this…this _vagrant-._ ”

 

“this is how you teach your daughter a lesson? disown her, throw her from her own home and try to cut her funding for her education?! all because she’s not falling in line with how _you_ want her to be? she’s her own person, she doesn’t need to follow your goddamn rules!” toni growls, her hand still gripping cheryl’s tightly as the other clenches into a fist. cheryl swallows the lump in her throat and watches as penelope bares her teeth and doesn’t even look at toni, her eyes still on cheryl as she addresses the pink haired serpent with nothing but venom.

 

“how _dare_ you even-.”

 

“how dare i?! how dare _you?!_ she’s your daughter! hasn’t she lost enough? haven’t _you_ lost enough? why are you so willing to tear what’s left of your family apart because of who your daughter is, who she loves?! no one can be that cruel!” toni exclaims, almost looking at penelope pleadingly, trying to make her see reason, and god, cheryl’s so surprised that toni’s taking this approach, but she’s so _thankful_ that she is, because maybe, just maybe-

 

“that’s enough! i won’t be addressed like this by someone…someone like _you **and** her!_” penelope hisses, the words cutting cheryl deeply, slicing through whatever pieces of her heart she had left that felt any kind of love or care for her family, for her mother…

 

it’s truly over. there was no chance in hell that penelope blossom would ever, ever take her back…

 

and maybe…maybe it’s better off that way.

 

she feels so stupid for ever getting her hopes up, for ever thinking her mother could accept the fact that she’s gay…she’s been repressing cheryl since she was a child, skimming through those magazines and staring at the bikini clad models in awe…nothing is going to change.

 

_but you have toni. and you have veronica, and josie, and betty…you have everyone else. you don’t **need** her…_

 

but it can hurt…it can, cheryl allows herself to feel the pain. because penelope blossom is _her mother._ it’s allowed to hurt like it is right now, heart aching with each beat painfully at the realization that this is it…this is really it…

 

toni goes to open her mouth, but cheryl grips her hand and gives her a small shake of her head, knowing that no amount of words will get through to this woman, that it’s useless, a truly abhorrent use of time that shouldn’t be wasted on someone who could be so filled with hate and malice as penelope huffs triumphantly at the sight, smirking as she turns to face principal weatherbee. 

 

“i’ve told you why i’m here, i suggest you act swiftly, waldo. i want not a single penny more taken from my account for her-.”

 

“penelope, this is ridiculous! you’re willing to let your daughter suffer simply because she fell in love with a girl?!” sierra mccoy cries in disbelief, looking at cheryl with nothing but pity shining in her eyes as toni simply steps closer to cheryl with a scoff, her hand moving up and down cheryl’s forearm lightly before she leans up to whisper into cheryl’s ear.

 

“keep breathing, baby…” she says softly, and cheryl simply purses her lips and nods once, swallowing down the lump in her throat as penelope looks to sierra with a smirk.

 

“we tried to squash this behavior out of her as a child and she’s done nothing but defy us! she’s not _worthy_ of being a blossom! if josie fell in love with a girl…how would you react, sierra?” she says airily, as if she’s somehow gotten a win over the woman before her with her words, but sierra scoffs without hesitation and glares at penelope coldly.

 

“i’d support my daughter no matter who she loves! whether it’s a girl or a boy, josie’s happiness comes before anything else for me! surely you should feel the same way about cheryl!” sierra snaps angrily, and cheryl hears josie let out a shaky sigh behind her.

 

oh, what a life to have…a loving mother who would do anything to make sure you were _happy…_

 

cheryl feels sadness over the fact that she’s never had that, never experienced what it’s like to have someone who supports her with every decision she makes-

 

_but you do, don’t you? look right fucking beside you, cheryl…_

 

her gaze moves to toni, watches how the pink haired serpent’s jaw clenches as she looks at penelope in complete and utter disbelief at how someone can be so cruel, and cheryl decides right then and there that maybe, just maybe, in some cases…it’s okay for that supportive person not be your family. your mother or your bother or your sister or your brother…

 

maybe it’s okay for it to just be someone you _love._

 

penelope clenches her jaw, looking at sierra with nothing but hatred before she looks to principal weatherbee with her head raised high.

 

“you know what i want. do it and do it quickly.” and with that, she turns on her heel, gripping her purse in her hand and making her way towards the entrance of the office before she suddenly stops short beside cheryl and toni, the pink haired serpent tensing up as cheryl doesn’t dare even look at the woman before her for fear of breaking down…

 

not here. once she’s alone with toni, yes, but not here…

 

“when she breaks your heart…don’t even _think_ about coming back to thistlehouse begging for forgiveness.” penelope hisses into cheryl’s ear. toni growls under her breath, and cheryl grips her hand tightly, trying to calm her down, but the pink haired girl tugs cheryl back lightly to get her as far away from penelope as possible.

 

“the only person here who has broken her heart is _you._ but i’m more than willing to pick up the pieces of her that _you_ destroyed, more than happy to put them back together, because i love her, unlike you.” toni says firmly, nothing but determination in her voice as cheryl licks her lips and closes her eyes…

 

toni…brave, perfect, beautiful little toni topaz…

 

_brave face, cheryl._

 

the red haired girl opens her eyes and looks to her mother, chin wobbling with held back tears as she holds her head high and refuses to let this woman see how close she is to falling. because cheryl will allow herself to break down over this, she will…but she’ll be damned if she lets penelope witness a single second of it.

 

_control, cheryl. control…_

 

“i love toni, mother. and if you can’t handle that, then i don’t want you in my life anymore. i haven’t lost anything here, but you? you’ve lost the only child you have left. i hope one day you can realize the mistake you’ve made…and i hope that i can find it in me to forgive you for what you’ve done on that day.” 

 

her voice is surprisingly calm, the feeling of toni’s nails scratching down her wrist making her smile right in front of her mother’s face, and penelope winces, much to cheryl’s surprise, but it quickly turns into a scoff before she’s walking out of the door without a backward glance. the door slams shut loudly behind her, and the silence that follows her departure is goddamn _earth shattering._

 

well then…that’s that.

 

cheryl whimpers before she can stop herself, feels josie, betty and veronica immediately reach out for her from where they’re standing behind her, hands gripping her shoulders or her elbow or rubbing her back soothingly, but all cheryl can focus on is toni’s hand clasped in her own.

 

she’s okay…she is, she’s okay, everything’s okay, she knew this was coming, maybe not the whole ‘pulling her funding’ part, but she knew penelope would never, ever see reason-

 

“i’ll be picking up the bill to fund cheryl blossom, waldo. she doesn’t deserve to miss out on the rest of her education because her mother is a viper. cheryl, i’ll take care of it, sweetheart.” sierra says suddenly, looking to cheryl with a small, sympathetic smile.

 

cheryl just nods numbly as josie runs her fingers through her hair, looking to her mother with a happy smile.

 

“thanks, mom.” sierra’s responding smile is soft, and to cheryl’s complete surprise, principal weatherbee nods once, sighing as he looks to cheryl with a raised eyebrow.

 

“perhaps it’s best you take the day off, miss blossom…” he murmurs, taking off his glasses and cleaning them on his shirt before toni clears her throat and squeezes cheryl’s hand tightly.

 

“i’m taking it off with her, she needs me.” toni says immediately, and once again, to cheryl’s surprise, principal weatherbee nods again in agreement. 

 

“yes, yes of course, miss topaz…mayor mccoy, if you’ll follow me to my office…”

 

“cher-bear? come on, baby…” toni breathes into her ear, cheryl nodding once again without even knowing what she’s agreeing to as toni pulls her away from the office and through the front door once more.

 

“you can do this, cher, keep it together ‘till we get home, i know that’s what you want, okay? just hold on a little longer…” toni murmurs under her breath, and fuck, cheryl loves her, she really, really fucking does-

 

“toni?” cheryl pauses at the sound of her girlfriend’s name, but doesn’t turn to face her friends for fear of what will happen if she does, but toni does turn, looking at the girls with a raised eyebrow before cheryl hears veronica let out a shaky sigh.

 

“look after her, okay? we trust you to do that…” she says softly. cheryl sees toni smile out of her periphery before the pink haired girl nods once and turns to look at cheryl once more, running her fingers through her girlfriend’s hair with a sad smile.

 

“let’s go home, baby.”

 

\------------------

 

truly, it’s deathly quiet in the tiny trailer that toni topaz lives in. it has been for about three hours now.

 

but regardless, little toni topaz lays on her bed with her arms wrapped around her trembling girlfriend for those three hours, not moving for a single second except to grab a bottle of water from the fridge for cheryl to drink from once the tears stop falling from lack of hydration.

 

“you need to drink water, cher-bear…”

 

it’s been three hours now, but cheryl’s pretty sure she stopped crying at least an hour ago, had found herself wondering what her tears were truly for when penelope blossom has likely never shed a single one for her in her entire eighteen years of life on this earth.

 

it just seems so…pointless, to cry for someone who doesn’t give a damn about her. so why should she?

 

no, cheryl truly spent those two hours crying mostly for her dead twin brother instead to be honest, who is likely watching over her and is fuming at the way their mother is treating her, but is almost more than likely happy that cheryl has someone to lean back on right now.

 

if cheryl had never met toni topaz all those months ago, she’s quite sure she wouldn’t be alive right now. it’s as simple and as heartbreaking as that.

 

“cher?” 

 

toni’s voice is hoarse from lack of use, cracking in the last syllable of her little nickname for the girl she loves that lays heartbroken against her chest as her fingers brush up and down cheryl’s arms affectionately. cheryl simply nuzzles into toni’s chest further with a soft hum, unable to trust herself to speak right now before the pink haired serpent sighs, her breath brushing across the top of her head and making a shiver run up her spine because of it.

 

“i’m sorry your mother is such a bitch.” toni whispers. cheryl squeezes her eyes shut, lets the last of her tears clinging to her eyelashes fall before she leans up to press a kiss to toni’s jawline.

 

“can you do me a favor, t.t.?” cheryl breathes against her skin, resting her head into the crook of toni’s neck as the girl nods against her and rests her cheek against her temple with pursed lips.

 

“anything, baby.” she says softly. cheryl licks her lips before she lets out a shaky breath and decides.

 

she doesn’t need her collar anymore.

 

she feels grounded. she feels secure. she feels _safe._

 

“take my collar off.” cheryl whispers. she hears toni’s breath hitch, feels the way her chest expands before she’s tucking a finger under cheryl’s chin and tilting her gaze up to look into her eyes, her own filled with concern as she frowns.

 

“are you sure?” she croaks out.

 

and cheryl, in a true goddamn show of strength, showcasing just how much she’s fucking _grown_ since meeting this girl beneath her body, actually manages to smile and nod once before she leans up to press a kiss to toni’s lips.

 

“i don’t feel so lost anymore, toni. you think i would after being disowned by that…that _sorry_ excuse of a mother of mine, but truthfully…i don’t feel like i need to be grounded right now. _you_ keep me grounded, toni. and…and the amazing thing is, _i keep myself grounded, too._ i bought the collar so it could give me control, but the way i handled that in there… _that’s_ control, t.t. and you gave me that, you gave me that with this relationship, you gave me that by loving me and i can never thank you enough. so yes…i’m sure.” cheryl says all of this in an excited rush, because she never, ever thought a day would come where she could feel only a smidgen of pain over penelope blossom, but that fucking day has come.

 

yes, she shed her tears for the lost love of a mother, but the truth is, it was a love that never existed. and surprisingly, she’s okay with that.

 

because she has love in other forms. she had love with jason, she has love with veronica and betty and josie, despite their misguided direction in showing it back to her…

 

she has love with _toni._

 

who needs penelope blossom or her fucked up version of motherly love when she has that? when she has love in the purest, most beautiful form right on front of her?

 

to her shock, toni has tears in her eyes that quickly spill over before she’s gripping cheryl’s face in her hands and kissing her, whining against her as cheryl pushes herself up a little to kiss her back just as passionately, chuckling against her lightly before she pulls away and looks down at her in surprise.

 

“what was that for?” she pants out. toni kisses her again in reply, moving her lips over her cheeks and her nose and her forehead in loving kisses that leave her giggling before she pulls away and looks at her in disbelief.

 

“you are…fucking sensational, cheryl blossom. and i am so fucking proud of who you’ve become. i need you to know that. the contrast between the broken girl i met three months ago to the girl i’m staring at now…fuck, _i love you and i’m so proud of you._ please take those words as gospel because they’re the truest ones i’ve ever spoken, baby.” toni whispers, tucking cheryl’s hair back behind her ear before she presses a tender kiss right between her eyes. 

 

cheryl closes her eyes and hums softly, feeling nothing but content before toni moves her hair away from the nape of her neck and grips the buckle of the collar between her fingers.

 

“are you ready, cher-bear?” she breathes. cheryl looks up into her eyes and simply nods, leaning forward to kiss her softly as toni quickly unbuckles it and pulls it away from cheryl’s neck, resting it on the bed before her fingers are brushing over the pale skin affectionately.

 

“i can’t believe someone as beautiful as you wants me the way you do, cher. i can’t believe someone like you loves me the way you do. i’m so thankful for you, please know that.” toni breathes against her lips, smiling as cheryl reaches up and brushes her fingers over her cheekbone with an equally happy smile of her own.

 

she has love. she has love in the form of toni topaz.

 

no amount of money or mansions or cars or _blossom blood_ can change that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know what you're thinking...that sounds like the end.
> 
> it's not. we got one more lil emotional chapter that's gonna be really good and healing for our little toni topaz before we end it with a bang. don't think i forgot our favorite pink haired serpent and her problems...
> 
> two more chapters to go!


	16. don't focus on the negatives, focus on the positives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one more chapter :( i'll leave the sappy shit for then, but the next one is gonna be a good one i promise. lots of smut and fluff and just cuteness.
> 
> as for this chapter, it's a mixture of heartbreaking and fluffy hahaah i'm the worst.
> 
> leave a comment or you can message me on twitter at @endofdaysforme!

_dearest antoinette,_

_i know it’s been a long time since my last letter, and i’m so sorry, my little girl. i didn’t know what to say, have searched for the words to describe what i feel about everything that’s happened…all the other letters from the past seem so distant and hollow now that i look back on them, and it only fills me with so much rage to know that you read those words knowing they were meaningless attempts to get you to come see me, begging for you to do something that you probably will never want to do…_

_the pain i feel over what i did…i can never, ever describe, my little ant. words don’t seem to be enough, and if i were to see you now, i still don’t think i’d be able to vocalize it. i robbed more than one young child of a life, and the fact that i’ve hurt you is what brings me the most pain. from the moment i held you in my arms, you were the one thing i promised i would never lose, and now i have. for that i am so…so sorry._

_i don’t expect a reply to this letter, but for once, as deafening as your silence has been over the years…i want you to know that i understand why. but to know that you are reading my words fills me with so much joy, and that’s all i need to get me through the days. i miss you more than words can say, and i want nothing more than to see you again, but however long it takes for you to forgive me, antoinette…i’m willing to wait. forever, if i have to. you are the best part of me, the one thing in my life i know i did right, despite everything else i did so horribly wrong. i hope you’re well, and i hope you’re loved. by your friends, by the people you care about…i hope you are loved._

_merry christmas, my angel. may you spend it in a better place than i am spending mine, and with even better people. i love you so much, my darling._

_love, mom._

 

cheryl stares at the words for a long time, one hand stroking through toni’s hair and the other clutching the paper as it trembles in her hold, each word, each letter hitting her like a tidal wave of emotion. 

 

toni’s been silent for _hours._

 

cheryl had returned from her morning shift at pop’s to find toni on the couch staring at the very letter clutched in her hand now, tears falling down her cheeks before she had handed it to cheryl wordlessly and had retreated to her bedroom.

 

after reading the letter at least ten times, cheryl had joined her, had laid down in the spot beside her without a word until toni had eventually curled up into her side with a shaky sigh. 

 

cheryl doesn’t know what to say.

 

how does she even begin to put into words what she feels reading this letter? after the hours, god, the hours that can accumulate into _days_ that toni has spent talking to cheryl about her mother, about the pain and the disappointment and the _suffering_ she’s had to endure, knowing the woman who gave her life took another, one so young and so pure, how can cheryl begin to understand what toni is feeling right now?

 

her own mother is nothing but a hideous excuse for one, but here toni’s mother was…sending her letters expressing her sadness, her _want_ for toni to come visit her…it’s heartbreaking.

 

part of cheryl feels like toni should visit her, should put aside her own feelings and see the woman who brought her into this world, and part of cheryl wants nothing more than to _thank_ mercedes topaz for gifting her the girl in her arms right now, but in the back of her mind…

 

in the back of her mind she remembers the stories toni told her about how her mother would scream at her, blame her for her father’s death, remembers the stories of how little antoinette topaz at the age of eight would scream and cry in panic whenever she’d find her mother face down on the ground passed out drunk after school, scared and alone and unsure of if her mother was even breathing…worried that she was going to be alone to face the world without her mother or father by her side….

 

cheryl understands. she understands perfectly how toni can’t find it in her to forgive her mother for everything she’s done, but god…the woman is _trying._ and that’s more than cheryl can say for her own mother.

 

the silence hangs heavy in the air, filled with tension that cheryl is too afraid to break, because right now…toni is trembling in her arms, and cheryl _doesn’t know what to do._

 

she just holds her, can’t think of anything else, just rubs her hand up and down toni’s back and through her hair comfortingly while she presses soft and gentle kisses to the girl’s hairline, her eyes moving up and down the letter as she re-reads it over and over and over again-

 

“i’m too scared to do it.”

 

the words are so softly spoken, cheryl’s positive she must’ve heard them in her mind, but she feels toni shift against her, feels her hot breath ghost over her skin as she exhales shakily and lifts her head up to rest her chin on cheryl’s collarbone, eyes searching for the answer, any answer as to what she should do…

 

and god, the lost look in her eyes has cheryl blinking back tears in an instant, the innocence inside them forcing cheryl to see that the little eight year old who bore witness to so much pain and anger is still resting inside her girlfriend, still present in the way her bottom lip trembles and the way a single tear leaks from the corner of her eye and drops down onto cheryl’s work uniform, staining the yellow and turning it a darker hue.

 

toni’s still that lost little girl who loves her mother but also _hates_ her, is still, ten years later, trying to sort through her emotions, to filter out how she truly feels about the woman who had once been her _everything_ before so quickly devolving into her worst nightmare…

 

cheryl drops the letter down beside them before she reaches up to brush away the tear with her thumb, a small smile lifting her ruby red lips as toni sniffs and sinks her head down against her further in fatigue.

 

“you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, toni. whatever decision you make, i’ll support you. this…it’s a lot to take in. but i’m right here by your side to take it in with you, okay? you don’t have to shoulder this burden alone anymore. i’m _here_ , toni, and i always will be…for as long as you want me.” cheryl whispers, leaning her head forward just that little bit to press her lips right between toni’s eyes, neither girl caring about the stains that will surely mark toni’s skin from her lipstick because of it.

 

toni closes her eyes at her touch, fingers fisting into the fabric of her uniform tightly as she swallows thickly and nods against her slowly before she leans up to kiss cheryl softly, whining against her as she does. cheryl pulls away first, needing to look into toni’s eyes to see what’s resting within them so she can do something to _help_ , god, just anything…

 

silence takes over once more, but not for long as they simply stare at each over for a few moments, cheryl’s thumb brushing over toni’s cheekbone, then down to her red stained lips, smudging the pigment with a tender smile before toni puckers her lips to kiss the pad of her thumb lightly with a small smile of her own.

 

“these last few months, cher, talking about…about everything i’m feeling with you…i don’t want to see her, but i think i _need_ to. ignoring her and ignoring the problems we have, it’s only caused this anger to build up inside me, and i can’t keep letting it grow, cher-bear. what if one day…what if one day i take it out on you like she took it out on m-me-.” toni’s words trail off in a choked out sob, more tears falling before cheryl coos softly and pulls the girl up closer, the pink haired serpent’s head resting in the crook of her neck as she tries her best not to cry just the same, her heart breaking at the sight of toni’s complete and utter pain…

 

“you’re not capable of hurting me, toni. we both know that.” cheryl says firmly, because she knows, deep in her heart, that toni never would.

 

and so does she.

 

“i k-know, cheryl, i w-would never d-do anything to h-hurt you intentionally or physically, i’d r-rather fucking _die-._ ”

 

“then don’t talk such nonsense, t.t. tell me truthfully, why you don’t want this anger to keep building inside you. we’ve been nothing but honest with each other for three months now, don’t let that end now, baby…” cheryl says softly, one hand moving under toni’s chin to lift her gaze while her other hand moves to her hair, fingers brushing away the loose strands of pink that are sticking to toni’s tear stained cheeks as, with bloodshot, puffy eyes, toni topaz sniffs and shakes her head with a loud whine.

 

“because i d-don’t want to h-hate her anymore! b-because i s-see how your relationship is w-with your mother and it b-breaks my fucking heart, cheryl! i d-don’t want that with my mom, i c-can’t let it b-become that-.”

 

cheryl simply grips toni’s face in her hands and kisses her, silencing her words in an effort to reassure her that what she fears will never happen, that cheryl’s relationship with her mother is so convoluted, so filled with hatred and malice and a million other crazy and complicated things, and yes, god, yes, it’s the same for toni and her mother, but at least the woman tells her she loves her…cheryl’s positive she’s never heard those words escape her own mother’s mouth, not even towards jason or the man she married…

 

the letter by her side is evidence enough that mercedes topaz _loves_ toni more than penelope blossom will ever love cheryl. 

 

“you need to see her, toni.” the words spill through her before she can stop them, because it’s an unspoken truth that hangs in the air, whispered against toni’s lips as the girl hiccups and pulls away from cheryl with a shaky sigh.

 

“i’m _scared_ , cheryl. i haven’t seen her in ten years, what if…what if she doesn’t like that i’m dating a girl, or doesn’t like that my hair is pink, or-.”

 

“shh, toni, do you really think she’s going to care about any of those things when she hasn’t seen you in _ten years?_ she misses you, baby, it’s right here in writing. i know she’s done horrible things that have ruined so much of your life, your ability to trust and your ability to forgive, but she’s _trying_ , t.t. she’s trying, and that’s more than a lot of other people can say about their parents, including me.” cheryl says shakily, her tears falling before she can stop them as the memories from earlier this week hit her, the way penelope had so easily tossed her aside like she was nothing but trash simply because she loved the girl in her arms right now…

 

toni looks at her with nothing but guilt shining in her chocolate brown eyes.

 

“you must hate me, for being like this when-.” toni starts hollowly, but cheryl simply silences her with another kiss and a light growl of disapproval.

 

“don’t you dare, toni topaz. not a single bone in my body could ever hate you for feeling how you feel. you have every right to not want to see her, or be too scared to do so. i told you, whatever decision you make, i’ll support. because _i love you_ , toni. and i would never encourage you to do anything that you don’t want to do.” cheryl says firmly, but not unkindly, a smile playing on her lips with each word as she simply…stares, at the girl wrapped in her embrace. 

 

“if i do this…” toni trails off, exhaling shakily and closing her eyes to let the tears clinging to her eyelashes fall before she swallows quickly and looks to cheryl once more with a trembling bottom lip.

 

“if i do this, i need you there with me, cher-bear. i can’t do this on my own-.”

 

“of course, toni. i’ll be right there by your side. always.” cheryl reassures her immediately, wipes away the tears with her fingers gently, and toni whimpers before she pushes herself up to hover above cheryl’s body, lips immediately crashing to the red haired girl’s before her fingers begin fumbling with the buttons of her uniform, desperate to get them undone-

 

“toni…” cheryl pulls away with a sigh, gripping her wrists to stop her as she looks up into her eyes with a shake of her head, but toni interrupts her before she can get a single word out.

 

“please, cher…please, just…distract me, please…just for a bit, i don’t want to think about it, i just…i want _you_ , please, baby…please?” toni whines, forehead resting against cheryl’s as her tears fall on cheryl’s face before she’s kissing her once again with so much desperation, cheryl finds herself immediately giving in.

 

how can she not? the countless times toni has distracted her…it’s only fair she does this for her girlfriend, her poor girlfriend who looks so fucking sad, it’s breaking her heart just looking at her-

 

cheryl pushes herself up into a seated position as toni straddles her lap, their foreheads still touching as she nods against her with a shaky sigh.

 

“okay…okay, toni, whatever you need-.”

 

toni cuts her off with a deep kiss, tears falling down her cheeks as she cradles cheryl’s face in her hands. cheryl’s hands come to rest on toni’s hips, pulling her closer as toni’s knees on either side of her body dig into the mattress, causing the springs beneath it to squeak loudly. she pushes cheryl back down onto the bed, lips never separating as she grips the lapels of her open uniform and flips them open to expose cheryl’s body beneath.

 

cheryl gasps despite herself, tries to ignore the way toni sniffs back her tears loudly before she’s trailing her lips down to cheryl’s neck urgently. 

 

as soon as toni’s teeth sink down into her skin, cheryl lets out a breathy moan, her own teeth gnawing at her red stained bottom lip as she arches into toni’s touch, and to her surprise, the pink haired serpent pulls back and looks into her eyes, sniffling once more as cheryl lifts a hand to brush her thumb across her lips with a smile.

 

“you’re so beautiful, toni…” cheryl breathes, simply taking in the sight of this amazing girl before her, despite the tears, despite the red nose and the clear pain in her eyes…

 

she’s truly the most beautiful girl cheryl’s ever seen. 

 

toni hiccups, and cheryl finds herself chuckling before she can stop herself, toni managing a watery smile as she leans down to kiss cheryl’s lips softly.

 

“we…we don’t have to if you don’t want to, i’m s-sorry-.”

 

“hey, t.t., it’s okay…it’s okay, shh…” cheryl grips toni’s face in her hands, pressing a kiss to her jaw tenderly as toni’s nails dig into her ribs with a heavy sigh.

 

“my body is _yours_ , remember? do what you want with it.” cheryl whispers, nuzzling her nose against toni’s gently with a reassuring smile, and toni whimpers before she grips cheryl’s uniform between her fingers to drag her back up into a seated position. she pushes it down cheryl’s arms, lets it pool beneath her body before she grabs it and rips it out from under to throw it over the side of the bed. 

 

“lay down.” toni breathes against her, and cheryl obeys, sinks back down against the pillows as toni begins kissing her way down cheryl’s body with eager lips pressed against pale skin. her hand moves under cheryl’s back, the red head arching it up slightly to allow her to unhook her bra before she’s pulling the straps off slowly, letting it drop down beside her uniform right on top of it. toni moves to straddle her waist, staring down at cheryl in complete and utter awe before she whimpers and looks up at cheryl with a shaky smile.

 

“cher, my body is yours, too. please know that, please-.”

 

“i do, toni. i do, you don’t have to reassure me.” cheryl says with a shake of her head, smiling as she rests her hands on toni’s covered thighs, wanting more than anything for the sweatpants she’s wearing to be removed so she can actually _touch_ her-

 

“i…cheryl, can…i just want to take you in, god, every inch of you...every fucking inch of you, i just-.”

 

“toni…” cheryl grips her hands, interlacing their fingers as toni lets out a choked out sob, and she rests them back on toni’s thighs as she looks up at toni with nothing but affection.

 

“ _whatever you want._ let me be your distraction.” cheryl whispers. 

 

to cheryl’s complete and utter surprise, for the first time in a long time, perhaps from the first night they had sex…toni is slow and gentle.

 

she takes her absolute time, doing exactly as she said, worshipping every goddamn inch of cheryl’s body. half an hour of toni’s lips and hands against her skin, nails scratching gently, hands groping at her flesh tenderly, and despite the fact that cheryl’s _dripping_ by the end of it, she remains patient, runs her fingers through toni’s hair and watches her with heavy gasps and light groans that cause goosebumps to erupt over toni’s skin at the sound every time. 

 

the pink haired serpent’s name escapes her in soft moans every so often, not urging her to hurry up, but praising her for her actions, toni smiling against her every time she hears it, and as much as cheryl likes the rough stuff, this…

 

this is so filled with love and passion, she can’t help but find herself wishing they could do this more often, too.

 

toni moves down to her hipbones, tongue sliding across the skin and relishing in the way cheryl’s hips buck up, her stomach muscles contracting in anticipation before toni moves further down until she’s standing at the foot of the bed. she quickly rips her shirt off, pulls down her sweatpants until she’s in nothing but her bra and panties, and she bends back over cheryl’s body and hooks her fingers into her black lace panties, pulling them down ever so slowly and trailing down her legs with gentle kisses until she’s throwing her underwear beside her uniform and her bra.

 

“you’re…fucking sensational…cher-bear…” toni breathes between kisses to her inner thighs, glancing up at the red haired girl as she props herself up onto her elbows to look into toni’s eyes with a smile. gentle fingers spread her open before a warm tongue slides up the length of her, and cheryl’s head falls back against the pillow with a loud groan, fingers immediately reaching out to grip toni’s hair with a breathless pant.

 

it takes only a few minutes for cheryl’s climax to hit her, half an hour of teasing causing her orgasm to hit her out of nowhere in no time at all, but god, toni is running her fingers up and down cheryl’s stomach as she rolls through it, caressing the skin tenderly as she slows her strokes down and looks up at cheryl with nothing but want and lust, and cheryl feels nothing but love flood through her body as toni crawls her way back up to cheryl’s lips, pressing them softly to her own before cheryl’s wrapping an arm around her waist and flipping them over easily.

 

“still need a distraction?” cheryl breathes, trailing her red lips down to toni’s neck and nipping at her pulse point as the pink haired girl and whines before she nods without a single word. 

 

cheryl gives what she got, taking her time with toni’s body, lips and teeth kissing and scraping over every inch of skin she can reach as she removes the rest of toni’s clothes, tongue lathing over the wounds she creates, and toni clutches her fingers through her hair and shudders through each and every motion, reveling in the feeling of cheryl’s body pressed against her own, a welcome distraction from the pain in her heart that cheryl is more than happy to provide because she loves her.

 

she loves her, and cheryl will do whatever it takes to make her smile that beautiful smile that always has her heart racing and her blood pounding, that smile that gives her so much happiness…something she didn’t even think she’d ever be capable of again after jason’s death…

 

it’s a constant back and forth, the both of them determined to push and push until the fatigue settles deep into their bones, until there’s sweat covering every inch of their skin, and it’s then…only then, that cheryl and toni collapse onto the bed with heavy gasps and soft giggles, the pain so easily erased in the presence of each other that cheryl doesn’t hesitate in reaching out to wrap an arm around toni’s body and pull her close, limbs entangled and the blankets thrown haphazardly over their waists as the cold air of december bites into the trailer with each passing second.

 

“cher…cher, can we go tomorrow?” toni pants out of nowhere, her breath ghosting over cheryl’s skin as the red haired girl looks down at her in shock.

 

tomorrow? so soon…

 

“tomorrow? i…baby, are you sure?” cheryl croaks out, her hands immediately brushing through toni’s sweat soaked hair affectionately as the pink haired girl smiles and nods once.

 

“yeah…i wanna do it before we go on christmas break, cher-bear. because i have plans for us on christmas break.” toni says firmly. cheryl cocks an eyebrow.

 

“oh you do, do you?” toni grins widely.

 

“mhmm. big plans, baby.”

 

\------------

 

toni’s grip on cheryl’s hand is so tight, the skin is redder than the hair upon her head, cutting off the circulation, but cheryl doesn’t complain for a single second.

 

she simply rests her free hand on top of toni’s thigh that’s bouncing up and down as she squirms in her seat, her eyes staring straight ahead at the glass pane in front of her that separates the criminals from the visitors.

 

the glass pane that will separate mercedes topaz from toni topaz the second she steps through the door on the opposite side of the room.

 

“toni…breathe, baby…” cheryl whispers, watching as toni closes her eyes and exhales shakily before she clenches her jaw and nods once. she’s so pale, her face almost green with nerves, and cheryl wishes she could do something to help her right now, but she has no words.

 

the guard will be returning any moment with toni’s mother in tow, and it will be the first time toni has laid eyes on her mother in ten years.

 

what is there to say?

 

the journey to new york’s all women’s prison had been a two hour journey of nothing but _this._ every stop they made to stretch out their legs, toni’s face just seemed to get paler and paler, to the point where she was almost the same goddamn skin color as cheryl, and cheryl tried her best to reassure her by gripping her waist tightly and holding her close while she drove them here, but there’s only so much intimacy can do with something as big as this…

 

toni swallows thickly, her leg continuing to bounce under cheryl’s hand, and cheryl sighs before she gives it a firm squeeze, the girl’s leg immediately seizing it’s movement as she looks to cheryl apologetically.

 

“everything’s going to be okay…” cheryl murmurs, nodding once reassuringly before she lifts the hand that’s gripped in her own to press a kiss to the back of it. toni tries her best to smile, but cheryl can see how strained it is. 

 

she knows this is a big moment. she knows.

 

still, it’s so strange, seeing toni this scared. cheryl’s so used to the façade she puts up, this mask of strength and bravery to make her worthy of the southside serpent jacket she wears so proudly on her shoulders, the jacket that’s currently residing inside her wardrobe back home because cheryl had thought the idea of her bringing a gang affiliated jacket to a prison was a bad idea…toni makes herself into this image of badassery and nothing but attitude so she can fit the description well, but the truth is…

 

the truth is, she’s so much _more._ she’s this scared, young girl who’s been through so much pain and suffering, cheryl’s seen that over the time they’ve known each other, and right now, with no jacket on her shoulders and all that pain culminating into this moment…cheryl finds herself staring at a version of antoinette topaz she didn’t know existed.

 

the small, childlike side to toni that’s cowering in her seat before her out of fear of the woman who will step through that door.

 

is his how toni would react when she’d walk through the trailer, that’s now become cheryl’s home as well, to find her mother passed out on the floor, drunk and confused? is this how toni would feel whenever her mother would scream and yell at her and blame her for her father’s death? 

 

is this how little toni topaz, _her_ toni topaz, would look like in those moments? leg bouncing up and down in fear with a clenched jaw and wide eyes that stayed glued to the door-

 

the door that suddenly, out of nowhere, opens.

 

cheryl’s heart stops.

 

both their heads snap up to watch as one of the security guards of the prison walks through, and right behind him…

 

cheryl can’t contain the gasp of complete and utter shock that escapes her.

 

_oh my god…_

 

she looks _exactly_ like toni.

 

the same tender brown eyes, the same caramel colored skin, the same lips, the same brows, fuck, even the same cheekbones, it’s like…it’s like toni is a carbon copy of her mother, with the only difference being the nose…toni’s slender and small while her mother’s one is a little longer, a little thicker in width…

 

it’s clear to see that mercedes topaz is withered and tired, her hair frazzled with streaks of grey, despite only being thirty-seven years old, the lines on her face evident even through the slightly blurry glass pane that covers her from proper view. the woman looks beyond confused, is perhaps wondering who the hell is visiting her, leaving cheryl to ponder if the woman has even _had_ any visitors in the last ten years, but the second her eyes land on toni, sitting on the other side of the glass-

 

mercedes topaz gasps, her eyes immediately widening before she looks at the security guard in complete and utter shock. he simply shrugs and grips her elbow, tugging her forward just a little too harshly as the handcuffs around her wrists rattle from the action, and mercedes looks like she’s on the verge of collapsing, knees buckling and her chest heaving as a loud whimper escapes her…

 

cheryl sees her mouth toni’s full name, sees her shuffling closer and desperately reaching for the phone before the security guard sighs and grips her cuffed hands to place the key in the lock.

 

“one sec…” he says in a bored voice, unaware of what’s happening in front of him, this reunion that’s been ten years in the making, and cheryl’s eyes finally move to toni.

 

toni…who looks like she’s on the verge of throwing up, her jaw clenching repeatedly and her bottom lip trembling as the grip she has on cheryl’s hand tightens even more…

 

“breathe, toni…” cheryl whispers, worry gripping her from the way toni’s breathing so heavily, her eyes wide as she takes in the sight of her mother before her, and god, cheryl has no idea what’s going on in her mind, but she does her best to try to keep her calm, gripping her thigh and squeezing her hand as mercedes nods at the officer and falls down into the seat opposite them, her eyes never leaving toni’s. 

 

she reaches for the phone with shaking hands, tears already falling down her face as toni swallows thickly and lets out a shaky breath before she’s doing the same. cheryl leans in just that little bit closer, and she’s more than surprised when mercedes’s voice echoes through the receiver end of the phone.

 

“antoinette? i…is that really you?” 

 

mercedes’s voice is hoarse, slightly rougher than toni’s, but also at least three pitches higher, perhaps from the emotion currently flooding her as she simply…drinks toni in, eyes roaming over her daughter’s face while toni just sits there for a few moments in silence. toni closes her eyes and licks her lips before she simply nods once.

 

“yeah…yeah, it’s me, mom.” she breathes, sniffing once as a tear leaks from the corner of her eye and falls down her cheek.

 

and with that confirmation, mercedes topaz breaks down.

 

she begins sobbing loudly, her face screwed up in pain as she rests her hand on the glass window, almost like she’s trying to reach through it so she can touch her daughter, and god, cheryl’s heart utterly _breaks_ at the sight, only aches even more when she hears toni whimper loudly before the pink haired serpent finally lets go of cheryl’s hand and reaches out to place her hand on the glass as well, resting it flat over her mother’s-

 

“can…can we actually see her?” cheryl asks, looking up at the security guard on their side of the glass pleadingly, and he scoffs before he simply raises an eyebrow and shakes his head.

 

“you can see her well enough.” he grunts out. cheryl bites down on her bottom lip and contains her anger at his sarcastic comment, choosing instead to be smart and simply ask again.

 

“please…she hasn’t seen her mother in ten years, can’t she just have one hug?” cheryl begs, trying to appeal to the human side of the guard, but there doesn’t appear to fucking be one, because he simply ignores her and continues staring straight ahead. 

 

toni and mercedes seem to be lost in their own little word, hands still resting flat over the glass as mercedes cries and cries and toni just…stares, sniffling every once in a while before a small, but strained smile appears on her face.

 

mercedes lets out a shaky laugh before she wipes away her tears on the shoulder of her orange jumpsuit, sniffling back more tears as she finally speaks.

 

“how…how are you? have you b-been well? are you eating properly, are you-.”

 

“i’m fine, mom. i promise, i’m…i’m eating and i’m breathing and i’m…i’m here. i’m alive and i’m okay.” toni croaks out, licking her lips once before she leans in just a little closer, and cheryl leans back in her chair to give them some privacy as mercedes smiles and nods once, eyes roaming over toni’s face before she lets out a scoff of disbelief.

 

“god…look at you, my darling girl…look at you! you’re all grown up, you’re…you’re a young woman now. i…i missed everything…” mercedes trails off, her bottom lip quivering and her eyes brimming with more tears as toni simply bows her head and closes her eyes, her hand dropping from the glass as the phone slides down just a little in her defeat.

 

“mom…” mercedes’s sobs get louder, more hysterical as she shakes her head and bangs her open palm onto her forehead in anguish.

 

“i m-missed everything! i…my little ant, all grown up and _i missed it-._ ”

 

“mom, stop…please, stop, it’s…it’s my fault, i should’ve come and seen you-.”

 

“n-no! n-no, this…this is all on me, ant! all on me, _my_ fault…” mercedes’s bangs her head onto the heel of her palm again with a soft wail, and cheryl notices the guard on her side of the room shift slightly.

 

“calm her down, t.t.” cheryl murmurs, eyeing the guard cautiously, and toni swallows thickly and reaches down to grip cheryl’s hand in her own before she’s whispering softly into the phone, and god…the sound of it breaks cheryl’s heart.

 

because there isn’t a single ounce of doubt in her mind that this is something toni is all too familiar with…knows that eight year old toni was forced to do this often when her mother was drunk and crying in despair…and it isn’t fair, it isn’t fair that she’s having to do this again, she just wanted to see her mother, that’s all…

 

“it’s okay, mom, shh…we’re okay, everything’s okay, just breathe, please? please, mom, for me? just breathe…” toni whimpers out, tears falling down her cheeks as cheryl scoots closer to her girlfriend and reaches out to wrap an arm around her lower back, tugging her just that little bit towards her protectively as mercedes looks up at toni and hiccups lightly, eyes bloodshot red as she sniffles once before she swallows loudly and nods slowly.

 

“okay…okay, ant, i’m sorry, i-.”

 

“it’s okay. i get it, this is…overwhelming, to say the least. but i got your letter, mom, and i just…i needed to see you. i know you missed everything but i can catch you up, okay? please, just breathe…” 

 

mercedes inhales sharply, taking in large gulps of air before she purses her lips and looks at toni with nothing but affection, wiping her tears away completely before she clears her throat and beams up at toni lovingly.

 

“your hair is pink!” she says with a breathless laugh, looking at toni’s hair in wonder and awe, and her girlfriend scoffs with a grin before she simply shrugs once, wiping away her own tears and nodding.

 

“yeah! i just…wanted something different...something to make me stand out from the crowd. granted, my hair is super dead now, but-.”

 

“no, it looks good, it…it looks so good, ant. you’re so beautiful…” mercedes whispers, letting out a sigh of almost defeat before she smiles as best she can, heartbreak clear as day in her eyes. cheryl squeezes toni’s hand with a reassuring smile, and her girlfriend suddenly jumps as if she’d forgotten cheryl is there, her eyes wide before she exhales shakily and looks up at her mother with a smile.

 

“i…mom, this is cheryl. she’s…she’s my girlfriend.” toni says softly, squeezing cheryl’s hand back and tugging her just that little bit closer as cheryl smiles at mercedes warmly.

 

mercedes blinks once or twice in shock before she’s looking between the both of them with wide eyes, her expression softening with each passing second, and god, cheryl finds herself suddenly panicking because what if toni was right, what if she doesn’t approve of their relationship-

 

“oh…oh, ant, i…i didn’t even know you were-.”

 

“i’m not. gay, i mean, i’m…i’m bisexual, mom.” toni says quickly, but mercedes simply smiles and shakes her head before she looks at cheryl with nothing but warmth.

 

“there’s nothing wrong with that, my little ant, i just…i didn’t know…” mercedes smiles, acceptance clear as day in her eyes as she continues staring at cheryl in wonder.

 

“you’re so pretty. wow, it’s so nice to meet you, cheryl.” mercedes says softly, and cheryl can’t help but let out a sigh of relief before she leans a little closer into the phone with a smile.

 

she needs toni’s mother to know…she needs her to know just how much she loves her daughter…

 

“it’s nice to meet you too, mrs. topaz. i just…i wanted to say thank you. thank you so much for bringing toni into this world. she means more to me than i can possibly say, more than i can put into words. she’s saved me, in more ways than one, and i…i love her, mrs. topaz. and i promise i’m looking after her, just like she’s looking after me.” cheryl whispers, trying her best to keep her tears at bay, but they spill regardless as mercedes topaz looks at her with nothing but the kindest smile and the most loving look in her eyes…

 

“thank you, cheryl. it’s heart-warming to know someone is caring for my little ant when i can’t be there for her. i…god, look at you, antoinette. you’re all grown up and getting into a relationship and…i’m so proud of you. maybe it doesn’t mean much coming from me-.”

 

“it does. it means the world to me, mom. i…are you okay? how are you doing?” toni croaks out, her voice small and pitched high as tears fall down her cheeks that cheryl quickly wipes away before she’s pressing a kiss to toni’s temple tenderly. mercedes’s responding smile to the sight before her is filled with nothing but happiness, and she clears her throat before she rests her hand on the glass again, glancing back at the security guard, who simply holds up one hand with his fingers spread out to indicate they have five minutes left.

 

cheryl’s heart plummets, wishing that toni had more time, and mercedes sighs and leans in a little closer before she looks to toni with determination shining in her eyes.

 

“i’ve been doing really well, ant. i haven’t had a drink in ten years, and it was hard at first, but…i’m clean, antoinette. sober, completely and utterly. i’ve been studying in here, too, making sure i can do something with my life when i get out of here. i’m eligible for parole in another ten years, so i’m doing my absolute best to make a good impression from now. i’m going to come back home to you, ant. and maybe i won’t be able to make up for the twenty years we lost, but i’m fighting, i’m fighting for _you._ ” mercedes breathes, her smile radiant as toni gasps softly before she leans in closer and rests her hand on the glass once more.

 

“mom, that’s…fuck, that’s amazing, i’m so proud of you.” toni whispers, staring at her mother in awe as mercedes beams proudly, and the guard clears his throat before he steps closer to mercedes with a sigh.

 

“alright, topaz. time’s up.”

 

“you said five more minutes!” toni says in shock, her face immediately contorting in anger, but mercedes smiles and shakes her head.

 

“it’s okay, ant. you’re here, and…you’ll visit again, right?” she asks, hope shining in her eyes as she stands slowly with the phone still to her ear. cheryl feels toni squeeze her hand, her jaw clenching as she glares at the security guard before she nods firmly.

 

“yeah, i’ll…i’ll come visit again soon, mom. i promise. next week’s the last week of school before christmas break, and i have plans with cheryl during the break, but i’ll come and see you next weekend!” toni promises eagerly, standing up as well with her hand still pressed to the glass as mercedes beams widely and lets her tears fall freely.

 

“okay…okay, i’ll be counting down the seconds, darling. i love you, antoinette, please always remember that…” mercedes whispers, the guard sighing and looking just a little guilty as he reaches out to grip her elbow to pull her back.

 

“i…i love you too, mom. i’ll come back, i promise.” toni croaks out, the look on her face making cheryl’s heart ache and pound as mercedes’s bottom lip trembles before she lets the phone fall down onto the hook. she’s still staring at toni as the guard slaps the handcuffs back on her, and she doesn’t break eye contact until he’s roughly turning her around to walk to the door.

 

toni growls under her breath, looks ready to break through this glass and punch his face in, but cheryl grips her hand tightly and squeezes it to stop her, watching with nothing but anguish as mercedes is taken back through the front door, the woman stealing a glance back at them both with nothing but happiness written all over her face.

 

it’s quiet for a few moments, toni simply staring at the spot where her mother disappeared as she whimpers, and cheryl doesn’t say a word.

 

she just pulls toni into her embrace, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend tightly as toni buries her face into cheryl’s chest and sobs loudly, clutching cheryl’s shirt between her fingers and wailing as her knees buckle tiredly.

 

cheryl holds back her own tears, presses kiss after kiss to toni’s hair and holds her up as best she can.

 

because she needs to be toni’s strength right now.

 

and cheryl’s more than happy to do whatever it takes to be that.

 

\-------------------

 

cheryl isn’t sure how long toni cries for.

 

it feels like days, cheryl’s shirt soaked with toni’s tears as she brushes her fingers through her hair and stares up at the ceiling fan that’s very gently blowing cool air onto them, despite the snowy weather outside. 

 

they got back home at least three hours ago, and the sun has set and the moon has risen, but still, toni cries.

 

and cheryl doesn’t say a word. 

 

she just lets her girlfriend feel what she’s feeling, ignores the missed calls from veronica and josie and betty, sends them a message in a group chat telling them she can’t talk but that she’s okay and so is toni, and that’s all they need to know.

 

their concern is heartwarming though, all three girls clearly making more of an effort to help cheryl through her problems now, their approval of toni also showing through their concern for her as well, and cheryl sighs and reaches for her phone to see messages from all three of them once more, hours after she sent the last one, waiting to be read.

 

**veronica [15:43]**   
_if either of you need anything, let me know, cheryl. xx_

 

**betty [15:45]**   
_ditto. we’re here for you both!_

 

**josie [15:55]**   
_we love you, girl. xo_

 

cheryl smiles, winces at the way toni whimpers and buries her face further into cheryl’s neck before she presses a kiss to toni’s hair and quickly types out a reply with one hand.

 

**you [19:32]**   
_thank you so much, girls. it means the world to me. i love you all. <3_

 

toni exhales shakily, and cheryl sets her phone down on the bedside table before she peppers kisses along toni’s hairline, gripping the girl’s face between her hands and forcing her gaze up.

 

toni’s eyes are bloodshot red, filled with more tears and god, cheryl’s heart utterly _breaks_ at the sight, but she smiles as best she can and reaches for the bottle of water beside her phone, uncapping it with one hand and holding it up to toni’s lips with a sigh.

 

“here, baby, drink up. you’re probably so dehydrated…” cheryl says hoarsely, and toni whimpers before she nods once and grips the bottle with a shaking hand, lifting it to her lips and drinking from it thirstily before she lowers it a little too hastily, some of the water dripping down her chin.

 

cheryl chuckles and brushes the water away with her thumb as toni hands the bottle back to her. she puts it back on the bedside table before she takes toni’s face in her hands once more.

 

“i hate seeing you in so much pain, toni…” cheryl whispers, running her fingers through pink hair tenderly as toni swallows thickly and closes her eyes with a sigh.

 

“she…did you see her, cheryl? she looked so…so old and tired-.”

 

“but she saw you, and her whole face just _lit up,_ toni. she was so happy to see you, baby, you saw that too, i know you did. don’t focus on the negatives, focus on the positives. she loves you so much, t.t., and it’s clear to anyone with eyes that she missed you so much…and i know you missed her too, despite everything she’s done…” cheryl whispers, staring into toni’s eyes to garner the truth from them, the truth that despite all the pain her mother has put her through…god, toni _has missed her._

 

toni lets out a high pitched whine, her bottom lip trembling as she nods slowly and settles back down against cheryl’s chest, her nails digging into cheryl’s sides.

 

“i did…i _do._ but you’re right, i…i can't keep crying about this, because fuck, i got to see her and i saw how much she’s changed, and i just…i want to help her keep trying, cheryl, i really do-.”

 

“nothing’s stopping you, toni. we’ll both help her, however we can. i promise.” cheryl says softly, smiling as toni lifts her head back up and shakes it before she’s kissing cheryl as passionately as she can, lips capturing cheryl’s own tenderly, but so insistently…

 

they keep kissing, for how long, cheryl has no idea, but she feels toni's body slowly begin to relax against her, the tension and the pain of everything that's happening today slowly ebbing away the longer she gets to kiss cheryl for, until finally, with a breathless gasp, she pulls away and looks down at cheryl with nothing but affection and a warm smile.

 

“i love you, cher-bear. i really do, i’ve never felt this way about anyone before, you’ve given me so much, of yourself and just in life in general…fuck, _thank you._ thank you so much…i’ve never been happier that i found you. my lonely girl with a pretty face…” toni says, hiccupping with a smile as cheryl chuckles lightly and leans in to kiss her once more. 

 

“god, you were so suave with that line, weren’t you? ‘i never could resist a lonely girl with a pretty face…and you, bombshell…you take the fucking cake in that department.’” cheryl says in her best impression of her girlfriend, causing toni to laugh loudly, sniffling as she wipes away her tears and smiles at cheryl widely.

 

“worked on you, didn’t it?” she teases, the sadness in her eyes slowly fading as cheryl giggles and wraps her arms around her tightly.

 

“mmm, you had me from the second i laid eyes on you, toni topaz, and you know it.” cheryl breaths, staring at toni in complete and utter awe, still trying to understand how she got this girl to fall in love with her, still trying to wrap her mind around how this girl is _hers…_

 

“never…i never could have predicted this, cher-bear. predicted _us._ life itself is so fucking scary, so filled with the unknown, and i’ve always been so afraid of that, but with you…god, i’ve never been _happier_ that i didn’t see you coming. it just made your impact that much more better, that much more…beautiful. i just…i can’t believe someone as amazing and selfless as you is _mine_ , cher…fuck, how did i get so lucky?” toni says in awe, staring at cheryl as if she’s seeing her for the first time, and cheryl can’t help but scoff as she brushes away the remainder of the tears staining toni’s cheeks, thumb moving up to brush over her brows as she shakes her head in disbelief.

 

“i’m the lucky one, toni. you’ve healed me in so many different ways…i didn’t think it was possible for anyone to care enough to try and yet here you are…” cheryl whispers, and before toni can say anything else, cheryl kisses her, deeply, tongue gliding against toni’s languidly as the pink haired girl whines against her and pushes herself up to hover above cheryl, the girl’s long legs wrapping around toni’s waist to keep her in place as toni’s hands roam under her shirt-

 

“you know…how you said i help keep you grounded?” toni says, pulling away from her breathlessly and looking into her eyes, and when cheryl nods once without hesitation, toni smiles and brushes a lock of hair behind her ear tenderly.

 

“you keep me grounded too, cher-bear.” she whispers. 

 

god…cheryl can’t believe _this girl is hers-_

 

“i love you, toni.” cheryl croaks out, nails scratching at toni’s back underneath her shirt affectionately, and toni bends down to kiss her once more slowly before she presses a kiss to her forehead.

 

“i love you too, cheryl. can you believe this all started with that collar?” toni says suddenly, eliciting a loud laugh from cheryl beneath as she grins down at her girlfriend and suddenly cocks an eyebrow in amusement.

 

“speaking of that collar…” she murmurs, and cheryl raises an eyebrow as well as toni bites down on her bottom lip sheepishly before she presses another slow and gentle kiss to cheryl’s lips.

 

“i know this started as you wearing it for yourself, to keep yourself tethered to the ground, to feel some semblance of control, but…fuck, i can’t lie anymore, cheryl. i _miss_ seeing it around your neck…” toni breathes, leaning down to press a kiss to her neck as cheryl bites down on her bottom lip and tries to ignore the throbbing between her legs, because right now is so not the time for sex-

 

“mmm…” cheryl hums simply, relishing in the feeling of toni’s lips against her throat before she’s suddenly shifting so her lips are at cheryl’s ear.

 

“do you think you can keep wearing it for me instead?” toni purrs.

 

fuck.

 

fuck, fucking fuck, this…she…

 

“i…well, i…quite kinky of you, toni topaz-.” cheryl splutters, struggling to hold back a loud moan when toni bites down on her earlobe and tugs lightly.

 

“is that a yes?” toni breathes, moving down to kiss her neck once more, and cheryl hesitates for only the briefest moment before she hums and simply nods against the side of toni’s head with a gasp as her teeth scrap against her pulse point.

 

“i…fuck, _yes_ , i’ll wear it for you, toni, i’ll wear it-.”

 

“mmm, good girl. now, i think you deserve a reward for how amazing you’ve been today.” toni murmurs, her fingers gripping the hem of cheryl’s shirt, causing a shiver to run up the red head’s spine as she whines and arches her back off the bed to get as close as physically possible to toni-

 

“but first…can i put it on you?” toni whispers, pulling back to look into cheryl’s eyes with nothing but love shining in her own, and cheryl licks her lips before she smiles and nods once.

 

she…really did not see that coming. of course when she bought the collar, she knew it’s implications, but for it to really be used as _this_ now…

 

fuck, it’s turning her on more than she thought it ever would, and the fact that it’s tethering her to _toni…_

 

“yes. yes, please, put it on me, toni. please…” cheryl breathes, desperate to feel the leather against her skin for a completely different reason now as toni jumps up off the bed and rushes toward the dresser to find it.

 

she pulls out the box and makes her way back to the bed, clasping cheryl’s hand in her own before she pulls the collar out of the box. she stares at cheryl inquiringly, and cheryl swallows thickly before she brushes her hair away from her neck and stares at toni in awe.

 

“i love you.” cheryl whispers, and toni smiles and leans in to kiss her temple.

 

“i love you too, cheryl.” she whispers back as she slowly fastens the collar around cheryl’s neck, buckling it into place with her lips trailing down until she’s kissing the skin of her neck around the collar, and god, the feeling of the leather on her skin again, knowing that this time, it isn’t about being grounded or feeling in control…

 

knowing that this time, it’s all about _toni…_

 

“toni…if you don’t pin me down to this bed in the next five seconds-.”

 

“i’m on it!”


	17. she's grounded, she's in control...she's free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew...another fic...gone. dusted and completed.
> 
> am i gonna cry? probably, but is okay. 
> 
> this fic has been a pleasure to write, and i hope you guys enjoyed reading it. for those who were here for the emotional journey, i hope you had as much fun watching these two grow as i did, and for those who read it for the smut, i, uh...hope you liked that too, i guess? O.O :P
> 
> thank you guys for all your continuous support. you're amazing, and i couldn't have done this without you. leave a comment letting me know what you think about the climax (ehehehee) or you can talk to me on twitter at @endofdaysforme!
> 
> don't worry, this isn't the last you've heard of me. i've got a plethora of fics prepared that will be released in the coming weeks but for now...mama needs a bit of a break haha
> 
> anyway, love you all! be good while i'm gone! p.s this is like 90% smut, whoops, kay bye for real now!

not for the first time does cheryl blossom find herself wondering just how in the world she got so _lucky._

 

it’s been a constant thought in the back of her mind for the last four and a half months, really, ever since her eyes first landed on the pink haired serpent who has so easily taken over her mind, her body and her soul. 

 

she’s felt blessed from the moment she first took in the sight of toni topaz, and that feeling hasn’t stopped for a single second in the almost five months she’s known her, their strict fuck buddies agreement turning into a beautiful relationship filled with so much love, and so much warmth…

 

fuck, how did she get so _lucky?_ she’ll never be able to understand it, never be able to comprehend just how someone like her could be so blessed with the relationship she has right now, but whatever god or deity is watching over her…she finds herself whispering a heartfelt ‘thank you’ to them every morning that she wakes up to little toni topaz’s face nuzzled against the back of her neck or her chest, deep in sleep with a hurricane unlikely to even wake her.

 

as for right now, cheryl blossom finds herself staring outside of the window of their hotel room with a cup of tea in her hands and a smile on her face, the sun rising over the horizon and lighting up the city of new york so beautifully, cheryl finds herself simply gazing at it all in complete and utter awe.

 

toni’s plans for their christmas break had ended up being a two week vacation to new york, with their first stop of course, being the prison to see toni’s mother, toni spending her entire half an hour time period at the prison telling her mother _everything_ that she'd missed about her life...

 

mercedes topaz had been less than pleased to discover her daughter was a southside serpent, but was glad that toni was with people who could keep her safe, and after they had left with the promise to actually meet each other face to face, an arrangement toni was more than happy to make with the warden because fuck was that glass wall that separated them so _irritating_ , toni had informed cheryl that she had booked this vacation for them, their tips from bartending and waitressing respectively adding up to leave them with enough to enjoy said vacation without any issues. toni had left it a surprise, had sorted out accommodation and had planned everything thoroughly, and now…here they are.

 

christmas day has come and gone, the girls spending their day in their hotel room exchanging gifts and…other things, and new year’s eve is now on their doorstep, the last day of a treacherous year finally here, and cheryl wants nothing more than to bid this year goodbye.

 

this year that has been nothing but a mixture of confusion and pain, of emptiness and loneliness, of fatigue and exhaustion…of the worst thoughts possible…and the best.

 

cheryl can’t fault the last four and a half months of this year, because they’ve given her nothing but happiness, but regardless, she’s ready to see this year come to an end, is more than ready to welcome the new one in with toni in her arms…

 

but for now-

 

“morning, cher-bear.” 

 

small arms wrap around her waist from behind, causing the red haired girl to sigh happily as she sinks into toni’s embrace, melts into her touch with a smile as her eyes flutter closed and the pink haired serpent’s lips immediately find her neck, mouthing at the cavalcade of bruises that already mark her pale flesh while her tan fingers brush over the beautiful charm bracelet she had bought cheryl for christmas around her wrist.

 

you would think, given that they’ve been here for almost a week and a half already, that toni would be sick of this, but every morning…every morning cheryl’s greeted to toni’s arms wrapping around her before-

 

“mmm, you’d think you would’ve learned by now, to just leave the robe off…” toni murmurs, teeth nipping at cheryl’s ear and causing the girl to let out a shaky exhale as she licks her lips and shrugs.

 

“i don’t like the idea of people looking up and seeing my naked body in the window, t.t…your eyes only, remember?” cheryl teases. toni growls playfully, her warm breath ghosting over cheryl’s shoulder as her fingers immediately begin fiddling with the tie of the robe around her body before her teeth scrape over the space between her neck and shoulder, causing a shiver to explode up cheryl’s spine.

 

“mmm, i know…but that’s what the blinds are for, baby.” toni breathes, and before cheryl can say anything, toni’s reaching her hand out to grab the remote on top of the dresser, pressing a button that allows the blinds to slowly begin descending.

 

cheryl pouts and sets her cup of tea on the dresser before she turns in toni’s arms, looking to her with a sigh as she wraps her arms around her girlfriend’s neck and scratches at the back of her neck in reprimand, trying very hard not to focus on the feeling of toni’s naked body pressed against her own, skin to skin contact only blocked by the sheer fabric of her robe…

 

“i was enjoying watching the sun rise, toni.” cheryl says firmly as the room slowly darkens around them, but toni’s quickly distracting her with a dazzling smile that has her heart racing before she’s leaning up to gently brush her lips against cheryl’s teasingly, her fingers pulling apart the tie until she’s dragging it out and gripping the robe to pull it open-

 

“i was enjoying the view of you watching the sun rise…you’re fucking _insatiable_ , bombshell. i hope you know that.” toni says hoarsely, pulling back to look into her eyes with nothing but sincerity dripping from those brown depths cheryl loves so much, and the red haired girl smiles before she bites down on her bottom lip, only eliciting a loud groan from toni that has her practically _ripping_ the robe off cheryl’s shoulders until it pools down to the ground at their feet.

 

“i’m slowly starting to believe it, considering you’ve spent every morning of this vacation so far fucking me for a good hour-.” cheryl’s words die in her throat as toni’s teeth drag across her pulse point, a whimper escaping her as toni inhales sharply against her and suddenly moves her hands around to cup her bare backside, gripping a greedy handful of the flesh and squeezing until cheryl bucks up against her body involuntarily with a gasp.

 

“mmm, i plan on beating my record. how’s two hours sound, cher-bear?” toni whispers, lips pressing gentle kisses to her neck, but cheryl pulls back and looks at her with a raised eyebrow, because surely, toni can’t be _serious-_

 

“you’re acting like we haven’t done that before. make it three.” cheryl challenges, and toni blinks in surprise before she’s gripping cheryl’s chin between her fingers and kissing her deeply with a loud groan.

 

“fuck, this is why i love you.” toni whispers against her lips, causing cheryl to giggle despite herself before she’s scratching at toni’s scalp affectionately and kissing her slowly once more.

 

“mmm, do you wanna go to go to times square to see the ball drop tonight?” toni murmurs, pulling back to look into her eyes, and cheryl simply shrugs and pushes herself impossibly closer to toni’s body without making contact just yet.

 

of course, seeing the most infamous new year celebration in the world is something cheryl wants to do, but in the times they’ve gone to times square since they got here, it’s been claustrophobic and crowded, and it’ll only be worse during the celebration…

 

“it’ll be way too busy, there’ll be people everywhere, and we can see times square from our balcony-.”

 

“so you wanna spend the whole day in our hotel room fucking? hell, i’m down for that-.”

 

cheryl cuts her off with a bruising kiss as an answer, teeth nipping at toni’s bottom lip as her girlfriend chuckles against her and grips her waist to pull her closer, _finally_ letting their skin come in contact and god, the warmth from toni’s body despite the absolute freezing cold temperature outside of this hotel room-

 

“is…the ‘do not disturb’ sign…on the door?” cheryl breathes, moaning as toni grabs a fistful of her hair and tugs on it lightly to expose her neck so she can ravish it with her lips and teeth.

 

“of course it is, has been since last night…now get on the bed, bombshell, you’re not leaving it till i’m satisfied.” she demands before she taps cheryl’s backside, the girl giggling despite herself before she makes her way over to the queen sized bed in their hotel room slowly, and toni growls playfully before she’s practically tackling cheryl to the bed, causing both girls to laugh loudly as they wrap their arms around each other and reconnect their mouths in a desperate clash of teeth and lips.

 

“move…to the headboard.” toni breaths against her lips, fingers squeezing her waist as cheryl pants for air and nods against her slowly in obedience. she moves as quickly as she can while toni slides off the bed, and by the time cheryl’s laying on her back against the pillows, toni’s pulling the tie from her robe that’s on the floor, turning around to face her with a grin as cheryl bites down on her bottom lip and tries to calm down her racing heart.

 

toni takes her time making her way over to her girlfriend, making her way to the foot of the bed before she lifts an eyebrow and smirks, and she doesn’t even need to say it. cheryl spreads her legs and allows the girl to crawl between them, her head dipping down to press slow kisses up her stomach, between the valley of her breasts and to her neck…

 

cheryl bites back moan after moan at the feeling, and she doesn’t even fight it when toni grabs her wrist and pulls her hands up towards the headboard, her lips capturing cheryl’s in a deep kiss before she pulls away and begins tying cheryl’s hands to the headboard. 

 

cheryl smiles, stares up at the smooth, caramel skin of toni’s neck before she’s leaning up to press soft kisses to her throat, and the rumble of toni’s laugh vibrates against her lips as she finishes off tying cheryl’s hands and leans down to kiss her softly.

 

“too tight?” toni whispers, and cheryl tugs on the restraints before she purses her lips and shakes her head. she honestly has a love/hate relationship with being tied down during sex, because the feeling of being restrained is both suffocating and exhilarating at the same time, but it also prevents her from running her fingers through toni’s hair, or touching her in general, something cheryl so desperately desires at all times-

 

“hey, cher-bear?” toni croaks out suddenly, pulling away from her lips and staring into her eyes, and cheryl simply smiles.

 

“yeah?” she says hoarsely, watching as toni’s eyes soften impossibly more before she’s leaning in and peppering cheryl’s face with the most loving, caring kisses cheryl’s ever received from the girl.

 

“this is random, i know, but i just…really love you. and i needed to tell you.” toni murmurs, and god, the sound of her voice, the raspiness of it that cheryl fell in love with the first goddamn second she heard it, the sincerity in her tone and the way she smiles down at cheryl…

 

she whines loudly, tugging on the restraints before she pouts.

 

“toni, get down here and kiss me, please-.” toni laughs loudly before she does as she’s asked, resting her body flat against cheryl’s before she’s kissing her deeply, fingers dancing up and down her sides as cheryl whimpers against her and tries to get her as close as possible without the ability of using her arms. 

 

toni pulls away from her lips noisily, her nose skimming across her jawline before she’s using it to nudge under cheryl’s chin, her head falling back against the pillows as she pants for air while toni simply begins leisurely pressing kisses to the column of her throat. 

 

“god, i’m _obsessed_ with your body, cheryl. every…goddamn…inch of it…” toni breathes between kisses, making her way down until her lips are teasingly ghosting over a nipple, and before cheryl can even reply, toni’s lips are closing around it, tongue swirling and leaving cheryl gasping for air as her back arches off the bed to get as much of herself into toni’s mouth as possible.

 

“oh my god…” 

 

toni chuckles against her skin, humming softly before she begins peppering kisses down her stomach slowly, her hands curling under her thighs and gripping tightly as she tugs cheryl a little further down the bed, causing her arms to stretch out a little from where they’re tied to the headboard. cheryl winces, more from the sudden movement than any pain, and toni looks up at her with a raised eyebrow.

 

“okay?” she whispers with concern, and cheryl simply purses her lips and nods once, sighing shakily when toni’s lips return to what they were doing.

 

“if you wanna stop at any point-.”

 

“you say this…every morning, and…have i ever stopped you, toni?” cheryl moans out, laughing breathlessly when toni giggles and nips at her ribs playfully.

 

“no, but still...you know i’d never do anything to hurt you and i know how rough i can get…” toni murmurs, emphasizing her point with another harsher bite to her ribs that has cheryl letting out a much louder moan than before.

 

“i k-know, i… _fuck_ , i like it-.” 

 

“i know, your kinky matches my kinky, it’s why we’re perfect for each other, baby.” toni interrupts with a wide grin, nipping at her ribs once more before she’s moving further down her body until she’s resting flat on her stomach with her head between cheryl’s thighs.

 

“ready for round one?” toni teases, grinning up at her while cheryl glances down with slight apprehension, but regardless, she trusts toni with everything, including her own goddamn life, so she nods without hesitation, watches as toni smiles softly before she’s pressing a tender kiss to her inner thighs.

 

“i’d hold on to that headboard if i were you.” toni says in a low voice, and before cheryl can think of a rebuttal, toni’s tongue is gliding up the length of her, effectively causing her brain to short circuit as she bites down on her bottom lip and _tries_ not to scream.

 

her fingers curl around the steel poles of their hotel bed, gripping tightly as she somehow pushes closer to toni while simultaneously pulling herself up further on the bed and away from her, the pink haired girl’s hands gripping her hipbones to keep her in place as she glances up at cheryl with a raised eyebrow.

 

“deep breath, baby…” she murmurs before diving right back in, tongue insistent against her center to the point where cheryl’s tugging so harshly on her restraints, she can feel the bruises already beginning to form around her wrists from the effort.

 

she wants to touch her so fucking badly-

 

toni’s hand curls over her knee before she’s lifting her left leg to rest over her shoulder, that same hand moving around her hips to rest over her stomach before her head moves lower, her tongue dipping into her entrance as the hand on her stomach moves lower to rub circles into her clit. 

 

“fuck, toni, p-please-.” cheryl doesn’t bother holding back, because they’re finally not in the cramped home of toni’s trailer surrounded by southside serpents who could hear them, they’re in a hotel in new york surrounded by strangers who, once they leave the city, they’ll never see again, so who _cares_ if she’s loud, she just needs toni to keep _going-_

 

toni doesn’t even try to tell her to quiet down, is enjoying every second of this as she grins against her before she’s working faster, and just as cheryl feels herself beginning to build to that earth shattering climax she so desperately wants-

 

toni stops.

 

cheryl whines loudly, glancing down with a pout as toni wipes her mouth with the back of her hand distractedly and grins at her playfully before she props cheryl’s knees up and rests her own at the back of cheryl’s thighs.

 

“so remember when i spent over an _hour_ building you up-.” cheryl doesn’t even let her finish, almost cries out as she shakes her head and tugs on the restraints violently.

 

“don’t! don’t do that again, god, toni, _please_ , i hated that, please don’t-.”

 

“shh, shh, okay! jeez…” toni laughs before she’s crawling up to her lips quickly, pressing a reassuring kiss to the corner of her mouth as cheryl whimpers and latches onto toni’s bottom lip with her teeth to keep her there.

 

“didn’t realize you hated it so much.” toni breathes, groaning when cheryl tugs a little before she’s kissing her deeply with a soft growl.

 

“would you like it if i kept you on edge for over an hour?” she hisses. toni simply shrugs, and cheryl cocks an eyebrow, but before she can even suggest that toni be the one tied to the bed instead, toni’s kissing her, lips moving against her languidly before cheryl suddenly feels her hand trailing down her stomach until-

 

“fuck!” cheryl pulls away from toni’s lips with a breathless gasp, her hips bucking up into toni’s touch as the pink haired girl hums against her skin and moves her lips down to her neck, teeth latching onto her pulse point as her lips suck messily at the flesh between them.

 

toni moves her fingers against her clit almost lazily, cheryl whimpering and whining as she continues bucking her hips up to get some form of better friction while toni simply lets her, too busy lavishing her neck with bites and warm kisses before she finally moves her fingers down lower and enters her with two of them without warning.

 

cheryl’s back arches off the bed with a loud gasp, and toni suddenly moves her hand up to interlace her fingers with one of her hands tied to the headboard, her fingers working diligently while cheryl simply lies there breathlessly, unable to move with her eyes squeezing shut more and more with each thrust.

 

“god, you’re so beautiful…open your eyes, baby…” cheryl tries, she does, but instead she just ends up inhaling sharply as her eyes squeeze shut even more, and toni thrusts particularly hard in reprimand with a light growl that has cheryl groaning loudly, her whole body trembling as she quickly flutters her eyes opened and sees only pink hair before toni’s lips are descending upon her own hungrily.

 

“can i blindfold you?” toni whispers suddenly against her lips, causing cheryl to whimper at the thought. they’ve never done that before, and she’s not sure if she’s actually okay with not being able to see…

 

_no harm in trying…_

 

cheryl simply nods once, and toni smiles and kisses her again, her fingers squeezing cheryl’s by the headboard before she’s moving away from it slowly, the warmth that leaves her causing cheryl to whine as her eyes flutter open before toni also pulls out of her almost too quickly, causing cheryl to hiss involuntarily.

 

cheryl watches as toni lifts her fingers to her lips, and she pulls on the restraints with a whine as she takes in the sight of toni licking her arousal off her fingers before she winks at cheryl once and reaches into the bedside table to pull out a shirt. cheryl stares at her with slightly shaky exhales before toni begins flipping it over until it’s a thin piece of fabric.

 

cheryl shifts uncomfortably despite herself, that feeling of confliction rising once more as toni raises an eyebrow at her before frowning.

 

“cheryl, we don’t have to-.”

 

“no, i wanna try it at least…go for it, t.t.” cheryl whispers, because she does really want to try it, and toni looks a little too eager with how she’s flipping that shirt over…

 

toni smiles before she places the shirt over her eyes and leans down to kiss her softly as cheryl reluctantly obeys and lifts the back of her head off the pillow to allow her to tie it in place, the darkness that quickly blankets her a little intimidating as she moves her lips against toni’s slowly to try and reassure herself that she’s with someone she trusts, that she’s most definitely safe here with toni-

 

“can’t believe we haven’t done this yet.” toni chuckles into her ear, cheryl jumping slightly despite herself at the sound of her voice before she feels toni’s hot breath ghosting over the skin of her neck once more.

 

“you’re enjoying yourself, seeing me like this, aren’t you?” cheryl murmurs, sighing despite herself as toni’s fingers dance over the skin of her stomach playfully.

 

“that’s a stupid question, cher, and you know it…your arms are tied to the headboard and you can’t see a thing, this view is _way better_ than the new york skyline.” toni says with a laugh, and cheryl, unable to see a single thing, is subjected to the torture of having to _feel_ instead of see what toni is doing.

 

and it brings on a whole new different level of sensations she didn’t even know was possible.

 

toni does her absolute best to tease her and keep her on her toes as much as possible, her fingers brushing over different parts of her body, down the sides of her breasts before she’s squeezing the flesh between her hands greedily, over her ribs before her lips are pressing kisses to the harsh lines her nails leave behind…

 

cheryl has no idea what she’s doing, what she’s going to do, and as much as it’s kind of spiking her anxiety, it’s also leaving her breathless and wanting for more.

 

she feels toni slide down further between her legs once more before the weight of her completely disappears, and cheryl can’t see her, has no idea what she’s doing, god-

 

“toni-oh, _shit!_ ”

 

a warm, wet tongue slides between her folds, leaving cheryl’s eyelashes fluttering beneath the blindfold as her back arches off the bed, only for toni to push her back down harshly.

 

“back on the mattress, don’t you move it.” toni says sternly before her tongue is moving against her once again, two fingers plunging straight into wet heat that leaves cheryl trembling with the effort to keep her back flat on the mattress.

 

god, she doesn’t understand how toni can do this to her every single fucking time-

 

the sound of her loud gasps and moans is all that fills the hotel room, toni’s nails digging into her thighs with every stroke of her tongue, and cheryl can’t even vocalize how close she is, her whole body a mixture of hot and cold that leaves her mind buzzing with static.

 

her first orgasm kind of hits her out of nowhere, catching her off guard as she doesn’t even bother containing the loud moan that escapes her and echoes out in their hotel room, and of course, toni doesn’t let up, continues curling her fingers and flicking her tongue harshly against cheryl’s clit despite the girl’s thighs clenching around her head until cheryl crashes into a second orgasm that leaves her breathless and gripping the headboard to pull herself up and away from toni almost involuntarily, because her body can’t take another so quickly no matter how badly she wants to keep fucking _going-_

 

“pause, p-pause, fuck-.” cheryl manages to choke out, and toni immediately pulls away from her, her hands smoothing over cheryl’s thighs as they finish unclenching from that rapid fire succession of orgasms, jesus christ-

 

she stretches her legs out with a loud groan, sighing loudly and panting for air as she feels toni’s lips press a kiss just below her bellybutton.

 

“are you okay? sorry, cher-bear-.”

 

“no, no, you’re…perfect, i just…need a minute to rest.” cheryl breathes out, causing toni to laugh loudly before cheryl feels the weight of her body dip off the bed.

 

“okay, gives me time to prepare.”

 

“f-for what?” cheryl whimpers, turning her head around blindly before she feels toni’s lips against her own out of nowhere, the taste of herself on toni’s tongue causing a muffled moan to escape the red haired girl.

 

god, she really hit the fucking jackpot with toni fucking topaz, didn’t she?

 

“just relax, babe, next round is gonna be a little rougher.” toni whispers against her. cheryl’s body does the complete opposite at those words, her muscles tensing before toni suddenly surprises her, her weight causing the bed to dip down before she feels toni’s fingers brushing up and down her stomach lightly, and cheryl bites down on her bottom lip, can almost feel toni’s gaze on her before she feels soft hands reaching behind her head to whip the blindfold off quickly. cheryl blinks a few times rapidly to get her bearings before she sees toni smiling at her with a raised eyebrow.

 

“i think we’re done with the blindfold. you honestly look like you weren’t enjoying that.” she says simply, and cheryl doesn’t argue because frankly, toni’s right, she’s not a fan of the blindfold at all, and it’s not for any real reason, it’s just…toni’s face is so pretty, cheryl doesn’t like not staring at it, especially during intimate moments like this, but she simply shrugs instead of voicing it, and toni grins before leaning in to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth. cheryl smiles against her before she pulls back slowly with a frown.

 

“did…did you like the blindfold? because you can put it back on, toni, i’m sorry-.”

 

“shh, cher, you never have to apologize for how you feel, _especially_ when we’re having sex, we tried it, you didn’t like it, and it’s _okay._ even when i’m in control, you still have the last say in what i do, you know that, right?” toni says gently, brushing her hair back from her face with the most tender look on her face, cheryl finds herself melting at the sight of it as she nods without hesitation.

 

“i know…and it’s not that i didn’t enjoy it, it’s just…i like looking at you when we’re doing this. i love you, toni. and your stupid, pretty face.” she whispers with a wide smile, and toni chuckles lightly, smiling as she tilts her head and stares at cheryl in slight wonder before she kisses her slowly, sucking lightly on her bottom lip as she does.

 

“do you want me to untie you, too?” toni breathes against her, and cheryl contemplates it for a few moments before she shakes her head.

 

“no, that i don’t mind so much…but don’t think for a second i’m not doing the same to you once you’re done with me…give you a taste of your own medicine.” cheryl grumbles before she leans up to nip at toni’s bottom lip playfully. toni grins and kisses her deeply once more before she pulls back and nuzzles her nose against cheryl’s affectionately.

 

“mmm, fair is fair.” cheryl hums softly in agreement, and toni’s tongue snakes out, brushing against her bottom lip as cheryl’s lips part to allow toni to suck messily at her bottom lip, then her top lip, before she’s simply kissing both lightly and pulling away.

 

“fair is fair, but, uh…how do you feel about having your hands tied while i get the strap?” toni says, grinning down at cheryl, who raises an eyebrow and inhales shakily for just a second to calm her racing heart down because _fuck,_ that’s going to be a lot… 

 

but it’s different from before, because where once, cheryl’s nerves stemmed from a place of not having control, now they simply stem from the knowledge that this is probably going to result in quite a sore body, not that she doesn’t _love_ being sore after something like this-

“okay…okay, yeah, i wanna try it.” cheryl says before she can stop herself. toni giggles excitedly, causing cheryl to roll her eyes before toni kisses her brow and suddenly moves her index and middle finger over cheryl’s cheeks as if she’s placing black marks on them, her face screwed up in mock determination.

 

“game face on then, cher-bear.” she says playfully, and cheryl laughs, flexing her hands and simply relishing in this silly moment together before toni hops off the bed and moves out of cheryl’s line of vision.

 

cheryl glances up at her hands around the headboard, flexing them with a wince and sighing as they throb painfully, and it’s not like toni’s tied them too tightly, it’s just that she’s been pulling at them so viciously, it’s her fault, really-

 

“okay, i’m ready!” cheryl barely turns her head back down before toni’s jumping onto the bed with a grin and settling between her legs once more, the cold silicone hitting cheryl’s thigh and making her shiver before she catches the look on toni’s face and laughs loudly.

 

“you’re such a child!” cheryl groans, smiling despite herself with nothing but affection pounding through her as toni rests her hands on either side of cheryl’s body with a shrug.

 

“gotta have fun with it, cher-bear. ready?” toni quickly begins lining her jaw with kisses as cheryl nods against her, her cheek resting against toni’s temple for a beat of a moment before the pink haired serpent pushes herself up and glances down to watch what she’s doing while cheryl simply…stares. at the way her brow quivers, the way her tongue sticks out slightly in concentration…

 

_dork, a big dork, i’m in love with a gigantic nerd who could probably kill someone in five seconds flat with a flick of her wrist and owns a pocketknife that she keeps in her gang affiliated leather jacket…_

 

what a strange, fickle thing, love is…

 

any and all thoughts, however, are pretty much erased from cheryl’s mind the second she feels the head of the toy pushing at her entrance, and her hands are straining against the ties once more as she exhales shakily and closes her eyes, lets toni kiss her throat and her collarbone tenderly before she sinks in slowly inch by inch until her hipbones collide with cheryl’s, her gaze moving up to cheryl’s eyes with concern before she’s grinning at the way cheryl’s relaxing on the pillows with an almost dazed out grin on her face.

 

“good?” she breathes.

 

so _full-_

 

“better than good.” cheryl croaks out, and toni chuckles before she slowly begins to thrust, giving cheryl the time to adjust to the pace before she increases her speed, and cheryl wraps her legs around toni’s waist to give her more room to move, licking her lips and throwing her head back so toni can do as she wants with the neck she so easily marks as her own, whether it’s her nimble fingers placing that collar around her throat, or her lips and teeth leaving marks for the world to see…

 

wow, cheryl will really never get sick of this…she has no idea what the future holds for her, but for once in her life, she doesn’t care…

 

as long as she has toni by her side, as long as she has someone who loves her, as long as she has _this…_ she just doesn’t care.

 

toni’s hand suddenly reaches up and curls around her neck, her thumb digging into that infamous spot next to her pulse point that always drives her crazy as cheryl groans and arches into her touch with a desperate nod.

 

“harder…” she wheezes, causing toni’s hips to stutter as she makes a strange whining noise in surprise.

 

“my hand, or-.”

 

“both!” cheryl groans, and toni’s letting out a loud moan of her own before her hips begin to pound down into her, her hand squeezing just that little bit harder and leaving cheryl gasping for air while still providing her with enough space to breathe in as much air as she wants-

 

“fuck, cheryl…” toni’s watching her in complete awe, the hand around her throat going slack and allowing a rush of air to move through her throat before cheryl’s whining and asking her to increase the pressure again, and toni bites down on her bottom lip before she does as she’s asked, squeezing as her hips snap against cheryl’s over and over again and leave the red haired girl bucking up into her almost chaotically in her need to get that climax that’s just so _close-_

 

toni moves the hand that’s keeping her upright at the side of cheryl’s body, causing the hand around her throat and the thumb at her pulse point to dig in a little harder as the thumb of her free hand reaches between their gyrating bodies to brush over her clit, and with the increased pressure on her neck and the feeling of stimulation on the bundle of nerves between her legs, cheryl doesn’t stand a chance.

 

she’s shuddering through her orgasm with barely a squeak, her mouth just dropping open in this silent scream that has her eyes rolling into the back of her head as wave after wave of pleasure pulses through her body, leaving her twitching and arching into toni’s touch until the pink haired serpent relinquishes her hold on cheryl’s throat and slows her thrusts down while cheryl gasps in a deep breath and pants for air before her body settles back onto the mattress with a dull thud.

 

toni’s thrusts in one last time, her hips settling against cheryl’s as they both catch their breath, and toni leans down to lazily kiss cheryl’s lips, both girls panting against each other into these desperate kisses until cheryl finds the strength to tug on the restraints with a whine.

 

she just wants to _touch_ her…

 

“are…you done…having your fun…with me?” cheryl manages to gasp out, grinning as her eyelids flutter while toni simply chuckles and presses a kiss to the corner of her mouth, the hands on either side of cheryl’s head to keep herself up shaking from the effort as she shrugs.

 

“i never am done having fun with you, to be honest, cher-bear, but i think if i try to get another one out of you, you might die on me. that was intense, baby…really fucking intense.” toni says in awe, her lips moving to cheryl’s brow to place a tender kiss to the skin there, and cheryl finds herself shuddering as the action causes toni to adjust against her, the toy still inside her shifting and causing her to clench around it almost reflexively, but god, her body is _spent._

 

she only has a small amount of energy left and she’s not about to be selfish and demand toni give her one more orgasm when she could spend it giving toni _hers._

 

“then untie me…so i can pin you down…and do what you just did to me.” cheryl breathes, still panting for air as her heart rate slowly begins to calm down, and toni smiles and reaches a hand up to pull the ties loose easily, the blood rushing straight through cheryl’s arms as they collapse down to her sides for just a moment uselessly.

 

the pins and needles attack straight away, but regardless, cheryl moves her hands up and down toni’s spine affectionately as the pink haired girl brings her lips back down to cheryl’s, the both of them engaging in just a few moments of lazy kisses until they both are relaxed and ready once more. cheryl pulls away noisily as soon as the feeling in her arms is back, and she inhales sharply and nods once to toni, who purses her lips and slowly bucks her hips backwards to exit her.

 

cheryl shivers despite herself, moaning wantonly at the loss as toni jumps off the bed and slowly begins undoing the straps of the harness, and cheryl takes the moment to stretch her limbs out on the bed tiredly, soft little squeaks of pleasure escaping her as she prepares herself for giving what she just received before she sits up on her knees and glances at the clock on the bedside table.

 

_only forty five minutes in, ugh…this is gonna be a long morning, but god is it worth it-_

 

cheryl’s back is to toni, and she feels gentle hands grip her waist before one of them is slowly pushing at the middle of her back to get her to bend over. she reaches behind her to grab toni’s hand in surprise, her heart quickly beginning to race as she turns her head in shock to see toni hasn’t removed the harness at all, and is staring at her with nothing but lust shining in her eyes that are roaming over her body in a ravenous, hungry way that has cheryl's breath hitching despite herself.

 

“i…one more, cher, you’re just… _so fucking insatiable…_ one more for me?” toni breathes, and cheryl bites back a moan as she licks her lips before biting down on her bottom one. 

 

god, it still surprises her to this day, just how much of an affect she has on her girlfriend…there’s no denying that toni’s _obsessed_ with her and her body, and maybe in some cases, it would be something unhealthy, but toni treats her with utmost care and respect…

 

there’s nothing toxic about the way toni loves her. and there’s nothing toxic about the way cheryl loves her, either. it’s kind of the perfect thing for her, really, after a life of nothing but toxic relationships, to have one now that so readily revolved around treating each other as equals…

 

she guides toni’s hands back to her hips before she lets go of her and turns back around, and she hears toni bite back a groan behind her, finds herself grinning despite herself at the sound of it before toni’s bending her over until she’s on all fours.

 

well, if the last time they did this is anything to go by, this won’t take long at all-

 

toni’s fingers dig into her skin before she thrusts the toy into cheryl without warning, cheryl only slightly taken aback and letting out a cry of surprise, but she’s that fucking wet, it doesn’t even remotely hurt as toni’s nails suddenly dig into her back and begin scratching down her skin harshly-

 

okay, so _this_ is the rough part toni was talking about, _fuck-_

 

she moans as toni’s hips smack against her ass, and when toni wraps a hand around her left thigh to get her to open her legs just that little bit wider, cheryl grits her teeth and bucks her hips backwards, because two can play at that fucking game-

 

the action causes the hilt of the toy to bump against toni in a way that has her gasping and digging her nails into cheryl’s lower back, and the red haired girl’s responding grin to the sound quickly dissolves into a loud whine when toni suddenly begins thrusting into her like a woman on a mission, clearly feeling turned on herself and desperate to get cheryl to that last climax she so desperately wants from her so her girlfriend can pay her the same attention…

 

"god, i love fucking you like this, _look at you..._ " toni breathes, those damn nails scratching down her spine and causing cheryl's back to arch up as she pushes herself up on shaking hands with her red hair rippling down the milky skin of her back in soft waves, and she can almost feel toni's eyes taking in every inch of her body as she thrusts faster, causing cheryl's body to bounce back and forth against her involuntarily, toni dictating every single move she makes with the way her fingers dig into her hips and guide her back against her body-

 

cheryl's vocabulary ability has honestly been thrown right out of the window because she's completely and utterly incapable of speech, can only think of how delicious the stretch is, how _good_ it feels being so _full_ as her eloquent words are replaced with soft grunts and whimpers with an occasional moan or two as toni hammers into her with every ounce of energy she has left.

 

toni bends over her body and curls a hand around her waist to reach her clit, rubbing circles into it as cheryl bucks back into her with a gasp, and it only takes a few more thrusts before cheryl’s gripping the sheets between her fingers with a moan that only grows louder the more toni thrusts into her, stars exploding behind her eyes and her body trembling through her fourth goddamn orgasm in an hour.

 

toni squeezes her waist as cheryl clenches rapidly around the toy, to the point where toni can’t even move anymore, her hips coming to a standstill as she scratches over the marks on cheryl’s back lightly, and when cheryl finally collapses on top of the mattress in a heap, toni finally is able to pull out of her with a breathless pant, her fingers shaking as they fiddle with the harness until the whole thing drops at her feet and she collapses down beside cheryl’s trembling body with a sigh.

 

“okay…okay, now i’m done. at least for now.” toni breathes, waving her hand nonchalantly as cheryl simply stares at her with her chest heaving against the mattress and her lips lazily curling up into sheepish grin.

 

“give me…ten minutes…and a water break…and it’s your turn.” 

 

toni grins before she jumps off the bed and makes her way out of the room, no doubt to get them water, and cheryl once again stretches herself out, grinning despite herself at the way her core pounds painfully until toni finally makes her way back inside with two bottles of water in her hand. she opens one and hands it to cheryl, who drinks from it greedily as toni collapses down onto the bed and also drinks from her own bottle thirstily.

 

perhaps a little too eagerly, because a bit of it spills down her chin and over her bare chest, and toni curses under her breath before she sets the bottle on the bedside table and moves her hand to wipe it away, but cheryl reaches out and grabs her wrist to stop her, grinning as she rests her free hand on toni’s collarbone and pushes her back down onto the bed before she rests her own bottle onto the bedside table beside toni’s.

 

toni settles back against the pillows, giggling and biting down on her bottom lip as cheryl bends her head down and licks the beads of water from her chest, trailing her tongue up through the valley of her breasts up to her neck and over her jawline before she’s biting down on toni’s pulse point harshly.

 

toni inhales sharply against her, and cheryl hums against her skin before she shifts her to the right just a little and grips her hands, moving them up to the headboard and pinning them there so she can use the ties still around the headboard.

 

“told you i’d give you a taste of your own medicine.” cheryl murmurs against her lips, kissing her deeply before she can reply as she begins tying toni’s hands to the headboard.

 

toni laughs against her, but goes along with it happily as cheryl flicks her tongue teasingly against toni’s lips, glancing up at the ties and watching as toni struggles against them with a grunt.

 

“good?” toni simply nods, and cheryl smiles triumphantly before she begins trailing her kisses down toni’s neck.

 

sure, she’s exhausted, but she’s not letting toni’s back leave this bed until she gets her own set of four from cheryl.

 

fair is fair, after all.

 

cheryl moves down her body slowly with kisses, red nails scratching into toni’s sides and digging into the skin harshly until toni’s bucking her hips up against her impatiently, a soft, shaky sigh escaping her that leaves cheryl grinning against her skin as reaches the place that toni wants her the most.

 

cheryl isn’t one to dance around what she wants, isn’t one to torture or prolong the inevitable, so she immediately ducks her head down with a watering mouth and a determination to accomplish her goal despite the fatigue settling into her bones.

 

she moves her tongue slowly, languidly, through toni’s folds, relishes in the way the girl bucks her hips up against her face with a soft moan of pleasure, and cheryl closes her eyes and gives herself over to the sounds toni’s making, using them as an indication of what to do…the way toni gasps lets her know to keep flicking her tongue softly against her clit…the way she sighs in frustration telling her not to move to the left, but to stay front and center…

 

they work in perfect harmony like they always do, because like toni can read the signs of what pleases cheryl, the red haired girl can read what makes toni tick just the same, and she uses that knowledge, that bond between them that keeps them so in tune with each other to push toni into an orgasm that has her moaning louder than cheryl’s ever heard her moan before, her thighs trembling and clenching on either side of cheryl’s head, but instead of stopping, cheryl simply plunges two fingers straight into her without giving her a break, this carnal need to pull more of those sounds out of toni taking her over completely, her lips trailing up her body in biting kisses while she pumps her fingers quickly, leaving toni a gasping, sweaty mess pinned beneath her body as cheryl kisses her with bruising pressure.

 

“need a break, kitten?” cheryl breathes, and when toni simply shakes her head and arches up further into her touch, cheryl grins and uses her free hand to scratch down toni’s stomach, fingers groping over tender flesh before she’s cupping a full breast into it and squeezing while her mouth moves downward and to the right to suck and bite at the skin of the other, and toni’s all shaky breathes and loud moans, soft whispers as she begs cheryl to go harder, go faster, move those long fingers inside her just a little to the left-

 

cheryl obeys, and cheryl watches, eyes staring in wonder as toni’s jaw goes slack and her brow furrows before she’s clenching her teeth and groaning through them, voice muffled, but her growl guttural and resting deep in her throat as her eyes roll into the back of her head, her stomach muscles pulsating with the pressure and the intensity of her second orgasm, and you can bet your damn ass cheryl has every intention of continuing, but toni suddenly seems to choke on her own saliva, because she makes a gargled noise that startles cheryl before she’s shaking her head and whimpering loudly.

 

“stop, s-stop-.”

 

cheryl ceases her thrusts, pulls her fingers out slowly so as not to hurt her precious girlfriend before she’s staring at toni’s writhing body patiently with concern, but toni doesn’t say a word, is clenching her fists tied to the headboard repeatedly for at least a dull minute before her eyes flutter open slowly.

 

“fuck…break, we n-need a break…raising the white flag...i'm tapping out...” she pants, and cheryl’s so surprised at those words, she just kind of freezes in her spot.

 

wow, toni’s never, _ever_ asked for a break before…

 

“you’re losing your touch, toni topaz.” cheryl teases immediately, grinning as she bends down to press a kiss to toni’s jawline, and the girl whines before she shakes her head while still desperately trying to catch her breath.

 

“n-not that, i…fuck, that was...two in a row...two _very intense_ ones in a row...” toni manages to get out, a wince taking over her features as she tugs on the restraints and glances up at them in annoyance, and cheryl reaches over and immediately loosens them so that toni can slide her hands out, the pink haired serpent rubbing her wrists before she wraps her arms around cheryl’s neck and pulls her down to her chest with a grunt.

 

cheryl laughs against her, and toni hums softly before she’s peppering cheryl’s hairline with gentle kisses.

 

“just...ten minutes...and then you can do whatever you want with me...then i'll do whatever i want with you...we can keep going till the sun sets, bombshell, i've got all day...” toni purrs, and cheryl simply grins widely and looks up at her with nothing but affection and pride.

 

“well, well, t.t, perhaps we're kindred spirits after all...because that's _exactly_ what i had in mind.”

 

\------------------

 

the cold air doesn’t seem to bother cheryl despite the fact that she’s literally only wearing a thick white coat over her body.

 

she swirls the glass of champagne in her hand, shrugging the coat closer to herself as she takes a sip of the champagne and smiles at gigantic lights in the far off distance, the sound of muffled cheers echoing across the night sky as cheryl sinks further against the railing with a tired sigh.

 

she’s surprised she’s even survived this late at night, considering the whole day has been spent in that bed that’s about ten feet beyond the sliding door to her right, rolling around in the sheets with her girlfriend, and god, have they left this last year with a bang.

 

cheryl doesn't even know how many times she climaxed, is pretty sure toni has no idea how many times _she_ climaxed either, both of them too drunk off each other and the endorphins running through their veins to keep count, but all she does know is that every inch of her body is sensitive and sore and she's never felt better about it.

 

but regardless of her fatigue, she’s determined to watch the ball drop, and even more determined to share her first new year’s kiss with toni.

 

toni, who finally appears at the sliding door with one of cheryl’s coats around her body, a black one this time, that’s protecting her from the snowy weather that continues to fall softly around them, christmas not quite yet ready to let them go…

 

toni slides the door open and makes her way out onto the balcony with a box of cigarettes in her hand, her fingers quickly sliding two out before she hands one to cheryl with a smile.

 

cheryl holds it to her lips, grins around the filter at the thought that this is what actually brought her and toni together that first day at riverdale high as toni holds up her lighter, flicking the wheel and watching as the orange flames catch the wick and burn between cheryl’s eyes. she lights the cigarette, watches it burn cherry red before she pulls away and inhales deeply, and toni immediately collapses into one of the swinging chairs on the balcony and reaches out to grip cheryl’s hand, pulling her onto her lap with a soft giggle.

 

“mmm, how many minutes away are we?” toni murmurs, pressing a kiss to the back of cheryl’s head as the girl settles into toni’s lap comfortably. toni eventually adjusts herself until her knees are propped up on either side of cheryl’s body, the red haired girl’s back pressed against her chest, as toni presses a kiss to her ear.

 

“about five.” cheryl murmurs tiredly, smiling when toni’s free hand that isn’t holding the cigarette brushes over the collar around her neck, fingering the leather before her lips are replacing it…

 

“ready to welcome in the new year, baby?” toni whispers into her ear, rocking them from side to side slowly as cheryl closes her eyes and sinks further into toni’s arms, the girl wrapping them around cheryl’s waist and pulling her impossibly closer…

 

“yeah. are you?” cheryl breathes. toni hums in her ear before she nods against her slowly.

 

“with you by my side? fuck yeah, i am. i don’t…i don’t think i’ve ever been happier to see a new year roll in, cher-bear.” toni says softly, the arm around her waist tightening slightly as cheryl licks her lips and nuzzles the side of her face against toni’s own.

 

she’s amazing…she’s everything cheryl’s been dreaming of, everything cheryl could’ve ever asked for…

 

“toni?” cheryl croaks out, unable to stop herself from sighing shakily when toni simply hums in response and waits patiently for her to reply. she interlaces the fingers of one of their hands before she licks her lips and sinks further into toni as she takes a drag from her cigarette and watches the grey tendrils of smoke curl up into the air.

 

“you’re my dream come true, t.t. you truly are…you’re everything i’ve ever wanted, while simultaneously being everything i never even knew i needed. you complete me in so many different ways, and i can’t thank you enough for the months you’ve spent helping me grow into the person i am today.” cheryl says all this as sincerely as she can despite the two tears that roll down her cheeks from either side of her face, her emotions getting the better of her. toni’s hold on her tightens once more before she’s peppering kisses to the back of cheryl’s head, over her ear and down the side of her face as tenderly as possible.

 

“you’re not the only one who’s grown because of this relationship, cher-bear. you’ve helped me get my self-worth back, you’ve helped me open my eyes and realize that holding grudges and not letting go of the past can do so much fucking damage…because of you, i finally saw my mother for the first time in ten years and i’m…i’m on my way to repairing a relationship with her that i thought could _never_ be fixed. it’s…it’s not something i ever expected, cher…to find someone who makes me as happy as you do, someone who understands the ins and outs of me better than i even know them myself. i just…god, you’re so crazy, baby, but fuck, if i don’t _love_ you because of it, or in spite of it, or whatever that saying is…fuck it, my point is…” toni trails off, and cheryl watches as she throws her cigarette over the side of the balcony, cheryl quickly following suit before she watches the smoke leave toni’s mouth and nose, the girl’s hand coming to rest along her cheekbone as she looks into cheryl’s eyes with a soft, warm smile that instantly lights her heart up.

 

“i love you.” toni whispers, thumb brushing over her cheekbone to wipe away any traces of tears, and cheryl bites down on her trembling bottom lip as the minute countdown begins to echo out across the city of new york.

 

“i love you.” cheryl whispers back, her own thumb reaching up to brush over toni’s brows and down her nose until it’s moving over those full plump lips of hers that she loves so much…

 

toni’s fingers move down to brush over her collar, and cheryl fights back a shiver as the crowd begins chanting the ten second count down, but all toni and cheryl can see is each other, and the future that lies ahead of them, however unpredictable and unknown it may be…

 

suddenly, cheryl doesn’t really give a fuck about that ball dropping.

 

just a mere millisecond before the fireworks begin to explode, toni closes the gap between them and kisses cheryl as softly and as passionately as she can, bodies and limbs intertwined on this small chair as cheryl closes her eyes and simply lets herself…feel.

 

feel what it’s like to be in love. feel what it’s like to not be so lost and afraid anymore, with a dead father and a dead twin brother who brought the end to one another, with a mother who refused to acknowledge her existence until she was doing something wrong to tarnish the blossom name…

 

none of that mattered with toni topaz. 

 

she’s loved, and she’s cared for, and the same rings true for the first time for toni, too.

 

cheryl thinks back to that first night the collar arrived at her doorstep, thinks back to how distraught she had been, how frustrated she had gotten at herself for even purchasing the damn thing and now…now it tethered her to someone.

 

it did the job it was meant to do.

 

it brought her control. it brought her clarity. and despite the fact that once upon a time, she had wondered if it was perhaps for the best that she was alone if she was buying a collar to tether herself to someone, here and now, she can’t help but feel the opposite.

 

that right now, she isn’t alone. that right now she has found someone to tether herself to.

 

and that truly, _that…_ that is what’s best for her.

 

“cheers to the rest of the year, cher-bear.” toni whispers against her lips, smiling against her before she’s trailing her lips up to press a kiss between her brows, and cheryl’s eyes close at her touch, thinking that just for the moment, she can forget all the pain she’s been through and just…be.

 

because she’s not lost anymore. she’s not floating in a headspace out of her reach.

 

she’s grounded. she’s in control.

 

she’s _free._

 

“to the rest of the year…and beyond, t.t.”


End file.
